I STARED AT THE TV. I WAS STUNNED. There’s this rancher in Cuba, Raul Hernandez, who’s worked his arse off inbreeding cows until he has finally arrived at what he wants. After carefully selecting cows that have the qualities he desires, then breeding them and selecting the most promising of their offspring, and then breeding the offspring, he’s finally managed to produce — get this — vacas de patio. Translated from the Spanish, that’s “patio cows.”
These cows are being bred for their teeniness, and now this rancher has cows that stand only a miniscule 23 to 28 inches tall. These dog-sized cows eat grass and weeds, and theoretically, you could keep one on your patio or in your backyard and it will produce about 4 quarts of milk a day, depending on the patio cow in question. That’s a lovely supply of milk for a family. Raul was talking about how they could supply fresh, organic dairy to families who don’t have access to a store and don’t necessarily have the resources or the desire to manage cattle.
My mind reeled. Patio cows? This was brilliant. I turned to my husband and said so. He smiled at me and asked me if I wanted to go to Cuba and get myself a little wee cow. I stared at him. There are moments in this marriage when I would have to say that he doesn’t know me at all. I’ve got no use for a patio cow. I can get milk at the corner store, for crying out loud. I’m thinking outside of the box. I’m taking the fine work of Raul Hernandez to its next logical step. The man is a genius at the beginning of a beautiful arc of an idea.
I wonder if I could call him. I don’t know about this little cow idea, but just imagine … patio sheep — not those miniature sheep that are bred without knitters in mind, but real fleece sheep, like, say, patio Shetlands or patio merinos. Wait … patio llamas! Patio alpacas! Patio cashmere goats!
This is brilliant. I’ve got to call Raul Hernandez, because together (since I don’t know anything about sheep breeding, and I’m not sure I want to learn) we are going to make a million dollars.
Raul and I are going to be a great team. Oveja is Spanish for sheep, right? Somebody look up “llama.” This is going to be fantastic.