If it Aint One Thing it's Another

Lydia put Janelle to sleep and laid her down in the spare bedroom. Kalif tied her hands back up again and ordered her to sit on the living room couch. He sat across from her at the dining room table and began to roll a blunt with the bag of dust he had left. Lydia asked him again what he planned on doing. ”Kill your man,” Kalif said flatly. ”Then I’m going home to watch a movie. Now don’t ask me no more questions.” Lydia wondered if there was any way that she could somehow notify the police, Ladelle or Janine.

”I’m having some discomfort sitting like this with my hands behind my back. It’s putting too much pressure on the baby. Can you please untie me? I’m not gonna try anything. I swear,” Lydia said. Kalif looked at her and thought about it. He put down his blunt and ordered her over to him. She did as she was told. He untied her hands and went back to rolling his blunt.

”Down the hall on your left,” Lydia replied, pointing in the direction of the bathroom. Kalif picked up his blunt and walked to the bathroom, and Lydia rushed to the phone and dialed 9-1-1.

I’m sorry, ma’am, please speak up. What is your emergency? the operator asked again, already putting a trace on the call.

Kalif flushed the toilet in the bathroom. He came back into the living room and looked at Lydia through dust-filled eyes. She did-n’t look right to him. He asked her to stand up and turn around. Then he told her to sit back down before going to the kitchen and getting a beer out of the refrigerator. He came back and sat down at the table again, eyeing Lydia carefully and suspiciously. He was about to have another trip.

Kalif looked at Lydia and wondered what was wrong with her head. Her hair was styled in a French twist, with Shirley Temple curls around the back and front. Kalif tilted his head and looked at her stomach now. What the fuck is going on? he thought. Why is her stomach so fucken big? Oh, God! Her hands look like claws! Kalif thought about Freddie Krueger and decided to tie that ass up again. It was the only way he could be safe; she wasn’t going to cut him up with those claws.

Kalif grabbed the pantyhose from off the floor, and this time he tied Lydia’s hands over her stomach where he could see them. He backed away from her and rubbed his eyes, still wondering what was wrong with her head. Then he studied her face and wondered, Damn! Is she cock-eyed? Why she keep lookin’ at me? Kalif decided that he would have to fix that. He went back into the bedroom and took the pillowcase off of a pillow. He returned to the living room and put it over Lydia’s head. She began to cry, and she pleaded with him to not hurt her or the baby.

Kalif mistook her crying for laughter and after a few moments, he was convinced that she was indeed laughing. Enough was enough. He went to the bedroom once again, and he took a pair of socks out of the dresser drawer. He came back into the living room and snatched the pillowcase off Lydia’s head. He shoved the socks in her mouth and put the pillowcase back on her.

Officers from the 32^nd precinct had been dispatched to Lydia’s apartment. The operator reported her call as suspicious because she had hung up before identifying herself. But it was still being treated as an emergency and not a prank.

The police arrived at Lydia’s building and rang her buzzer three times. Kalif sat there looking at the house phone like he had never seen one before. Lydia knew, of course, that someone was ringing to gain access to her apartment and the phone wasn’t ringing. Thank God, she thought. She tried to talk, hoping that Kalif would take the sock out of her mouth.

He walked over to the couch and snatched the pillowcase off her head. Lydia looked up at him with tears in her eyes. Kalif couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Her eyes were leaking. ”Yo, what are you?! Why your eyes leakin’?! Turn them off!!” Kalif was yelling like a madman. Lydia continued to cry. She had tried to be brave, but it wasn’t easy with this lunatic screaming at her. Kalif yelled again for her to turn off her eyes. Lydia was now totally convinced that he was insane.

Kalif took the sock out of her mouth and threw it on the floor. He marched away from her like she was his arch enemy, and the look on his face was one of sheer horror. There was snot coming out of her nose now, and her eyes were red from crying.

”Aaaaaahh!! What the fuck are you?!” Kalif screamed when he saw the snot dripping down her chin, and he accused her of having worms. Lydia had no idea what he was going to do next. His back was up against the wall now, and if it wasn’t for the sheetrock, he probably would have gone through it.

Lydia made an attempt to get up off the couch, thinking she might be able to talk to him in a way he’d understand. Kalif pulled out his burner and said, ”Back up, alien! I seen your last movie; I know how you disguise yourself. B-a-a-a-ck up!” he screamed. Lydia sat back down, wondering where the hell the police were. Kalif started asking her a bunch of weird questions like, ”How long you been on this planet?” and ”How did you get here?” There was no reply. ”Answer me, you freakazoid!” he shrieked.

Lydia burst into tears, which only made matters worse. She didn’t know what to say to Kalif. All she could think about was that she was going to die at his hands and never get the opportunity to give birth.

Kalif now stood with his back and the bottom of his right elevated foot against the living room wall. His burner rested on his knee, and it looked like he was posing for a picture as he kept his eyes on Lydia. As far as he was concerned, something might jump out of her stomach and onto his face. He wasn’t as stupid as she might think. He had seen Aliens—part one and two.... She has the nerve to look scared—ha! The nerve of her, he thought. Of all the chicks to take hostage, he had to pick an alien. The dust really had him zoning.

The doorbell rang, and Kalif jumped up off the wall and stood erect. He put his index finger to his mouth, signaling for Lydia to be quiet. He thought more aliens were coming, and he tiptoed toward the door.

”Police! Anybody in there?!” the officers yelled from the hallway. Lydia wanted to scream out, but the only thing stopping her was knowing she might be putting Janelle, who was still asleep in the spare bedroom located way in the back, in harm’s way.

Kalif walked over to her and smacked her off the sofa. She hit the floor hard. He put the burner to her head and looked at the door. ”I’ll kill this bitch right now! Get the fuck out of here! I’m not playing!” he screamed.

”Please, he’s got a gun to my head! Oh, God, please, do what he says or he’ll kill me and my baby!” Lydia cried out. The officers at the door immediately called for assistance. They had a hostage situation going on and they didn’t want to be responsible if anything went wrong.

When the Chief of Police arrived, he instructed his officers to evacuate the fourteenth floor and the two floors above and below it. He called the precinct to get the phone number in the apartment so contact could be made. Meanwhile, Eighth Avenue was swarming with emergency response vehicles, the Hostage Rescue Team and the SWAT team.

The senior negotiator was able to make contact with Kalif. He asked him what his demands were. Kalif didn’t have any demands. He told him he wanted Ladelle dead. The negotiator had no idea what Kalif was talking about. Before he could ask any more questions, Kalif said, ”I’ll let you speak to the alien, but not now.” He hung up and fixed a blank stare on Lydia.

The negotiator became a little confused when Kalif referred to Lydia as an alien. He knew Kalif didn’t know what he was doing and this wouldn’t likely end with anyone being hurt, which was always the best case scenario. He had handled a number of hostage takings in his career, and all of them ended with the hostages being released unharmed. He didn’t have any background information on Kalif, but after talking to him briefly over the phone he wondered if he had a mental history. He was more than qualified to handle this, but it would help if he had something to go on.

The negotiator called Kalif back and requested to speak with Lydia. He had to make sure she was alive before taking things any further. Kalif untied her hands and gave her the phone.

Before Lydia could say anything else, Kalif snatched the phone out of her hand. He put the receiver to his mouth and said, ”If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try your call again.” He slammed the phone down and lit a cigarette, blowing the smoke in Lydia’s face.

Lydia was trapped in her own apartment with a nigga who didn’t care about dying. She did the only thing she could do. She prayed.