Chapter Thirty-Six
Renee was at the clinic waiting to get her results from the HIV test. The counselor entered the waiting area and motioned for her to come into her office. Renee was nervous; she’d never had an HIV test before, and the anticipation over the past two weeks had almost killed her.
The counselor asked her what she knew about HIV. ”Not that much. Please just give me my results,” Renee said.
”You realize that a positive result doesn’t mean you’re going to die. There are many—”
”Listen, just give me my results,” Renee said cutting her off. The counselor took the paper containing Renee’s results out of a folder. She looked at them, placed them on the desk and sat back and folded her hands. Then after a few seconds she removed her glasses before looking across the desk at Renee.
”Your test came back reactive, which is a positive result for the HIV virus. Now, what I would—”
Renee jumped up and ran out of the office. She burst into tears when she got outside the building. The counselor approached her and tried to comfort her. Renee spazzed out. ”Get off of me! Get away from me! I want another test! God, please!”
She finally broke down and fell into the counselor’s arms. Realizing that she had nowhere else to turn, she did the only thing she could do. She went back inside the building with the counselor.
Petie was shocked when Ladelle called him and told him what had happened to Lydia. ”Didn’t you have the TV on? It was live on all the news channels,” Ladelle said.
”Nah, I ain’t been watching that shit. I got tired of seeing my own face on TV,” Petie replied. Ladelle told him that everything was okay with Lydia and that they were staying at his mother’s house.
”I know for a fact that the same kid busted up my shit, too,” Ladelle said after informing Petie about the Escalade. He told him that Lydia didn’t want to stay in the apartment anymore.
”Listen, I’m gonna run into that cat in the system; I know them crackers are gonna run up on me any day now. It’s been over two weeks, and my time is limited, dick,” Petie said. They continued to talk, and Petie asked Ladelle if he’d heard from Renee; he hadn’t spoken to her in over a week.
”I need to holla at you about something,” Ladelle replied, not giving Petie an answer. ”Maybe we can meet up tonight. I wanna let you know about some things that went down before we got knocked.”
”What you wanna holla at me about, dick? I mean, you talking to me like it’s some life or death shit. What’s really good?” Petie asked, wondering what the fuck he was talking about. Once again, Ladelle didn’t answer Petie. They agreed to meet at the Carver houses later on that night.
Petie called Renee at Rhonda’s house, but no one answered. He was tight about not being able to reach her. For almost the past two weeks, whenever he called, Rhonda would say she wasn’t there.
Petie decided to drive to Manhattan. He put on his do-rag and baseball cap, hopped in his ride and headed toward the expressway.
Renee got home after leaving the clinic and was glad to see that no one was home. She needed time to herself to regroup. She had decided not to get re-tested immediately; maybe in the next three months. She wanted to go and see Share and she needed to talk to Petie. She was devastated.
Renee called Share’s hospital room and was told she had been discharged. She called Venus and left a message on her voicemail. Finally she decided to call Petie.
”Where you been, ma? I’m on my way to the city,” he said.
”For what?” Renee asked him. Petie could hear the attitude in her voice.
”What you mean for what? So I can see you—that’s for what. What would make you say some shit like that?”
”Petie, I went to the clinic today and got my HIV test results. We really have to talk.” Petie already knew what Renee wanted to talk about. He told her that he would meet her at Sylvia’s and she agreed.
Renee hung up the phone and called the counselor at the clinic. She wanted to know where the support groups were and how she could get connected. She was still in shock after getting her results and finding out that she’d gotten the virus from Petie. She wondered if he knew he was positive. When she told him she’d been tested he hadn’t said anything. He didn’t seem surprised at all, and that bothered her. It made her think that maybe he knew all along. The thought made her sick to her stomach. She rushed to the bathroom and threw up.
Renee glanced down at the list of support groups that she had written down on a sheet of paper. Then she went to the kitchen to pour herself a cup of green tea. She had decided to change her whole diet. Everything had to change in order for her to stay healthy and live longer. And Renee had more to think about than just her own health; she had to think about Darnell and Dante’s welfare, and she dreaded the thought of having to tell them. How will they take the news? Will they still love me? So many thoughts were going through her mind that her head started hurting. She got on her knees and prayed.
Renee looked forward to surrounding herself with other women who had the virus. She wanted to find out how they dealt with the disease, and lived with it from day to day and still held on to their sanity.
Renee was totally disgusted with Petie, even by the sound of his voice. She couldn’t wait to take her sons to go and live with her mother in Pennsylvania. She should have left Petie’s ass years ago, she thought, but she chose not to for the sake of the boys. Now she had good reason to, but first she wanted him to know that she had met with Share and knew everything. Renee wanted Petie to know that she knew all about their erotic affair and that he attacked her after she told him she didn’t want to be bothered anymore.
Renee hadn’t loved Petie for years, and she had finally hit rock bottom with him. Enough was enough. And maybe if she’d left him years earlier, she wouldn’t be infected now. She decided not to dwell on her diagnosis; what was done was done, and she had to keep herself healthy for the future.
Petie exited the freeway. He called Renee to tell her he’d see her in about twenty minutes.
”Yeah, all right,” she said and hung up. Petie dreaded this day; he knew he’d be having this discussion with Renee sooner or later. He just didn’t know when. He decided to act surprised and just as shocked as she was.
Petie had been tested for the virus six years earlier. Unable to accept the positive result he got tested three more times, and each time the outcome was the same. He kept it a secret from Renee, continuing to fuck her raw, not realizing that he was re-infecting himself. He just thought he was spreading the virus. Now Renee knew, and he planned to appear devastated by the news.
He called Ladelle to tell him that he was in the city. He’d swing by to see him after meeting with Renee.
Renee stepped out of the cab and went inside Sylvia’s restaurant. She saw Petie, already seated at a table, and she joined him. He leaned across the table to kiss her and she turned away. He pretended not to be bothered by it and asked her what she wanted to eat.
”Nothing; this isn’t a social dinner, Petie. What you think—I’m stupid?” Renee said reaching inside her pocketbook. She handed him a copy of her test results.
The waitress came and put a pitcher of water on the table. She asked them if they were ready to order. ”No, not yet,” Petie said, and when Renee turned her head he winked his eye at her.
”When you’re ready to order let me know,” the waitress said smiling at him.
Renee got right down to business. ”I met Share and she told me everything.” Petie pretended to be confused, like he didn’t know what she was talking about.
”Who the fuck is Share?” he said, sounding so convincing that he almost believed he really didn’t know her. Renee looked at him like he was crazy. Petie tried to speak, but she cut him off. She told him she knew all about the fucking in the ass, and how he got jealous over her new boyfriend and then went and shot up her restaurant.
”I went to see her in the hospital. How could you, you sorry son of a bitch! You make me sick!” She rose up from the table, but Petie grabbed her arm and told her to sit back down. She pulled away from him and lowered herself back into her seat.
”Let me tell you about that grimy bitch,” Petie said. ”She’ll say anything to see me and you have problems. That bitch said I attacked her? You know how many bitches I got throwin’ the pussy at me? I give pussy away.”
Renee leaned across the table and slapped him hard. ”I hate you!” she shouted. Several patrons in the restaurant had now stopped eating their food to watch the scene.
Renee didn’t have time to sit there and listen to the bullshit. She knew Petie was a lying ass. She got up from the table and left.
Petie followed her out of the restaurant. He told her he couldn’t believe that she was siding with Share over him.
”Petie, p-l-e-e-e-a-se stop with all the lies. You’re a no good son of a bitch, and I’ve always known that. I’m really mad at myself because I should have left you a long time ago. I just didn’t want to take your sons away from you. I know how much they mean to you.” Petie started to say something, but Renee continued on. ”Shut up, damnit! I’m taking the boys and I’m leaving. I don’t want them around you. You ruin lives, Petie, and I won’t allow you to ruin theirs. I’ll be damned if I let you corrupt them any more than you already have,” she said and walked away. Petie stood there watching her for a moment, and then he bounced.
