Chapter Forty
”Where you been?” Lydia asked Ladelle when he got home. He really wasn’t in the mood to be answering any questions.
”I had to make a run. Everything is all right; don’t worry yourself. I don’t want you putting no stress on my unborn,” he said as he rubbed her belly. She placed her hands over his as it moved across her stomach.
Ladelle was thinking about what had gone down between him and Petie. He wanted to talk about it, but not with Lydia. She wouldn’t really understand, but there was no one else he could confide in. He thought about calling his mother but decided not to. He made up his mind to visit Lou’s grave the following day and talk to him. Even though Lou couldn’t talk back, Ladelle knew he’d be listening.... His whole team was dead behind Petie’s dumb shit, and the nigga had the nerve to pull a gun on him. Ladelle wanted to forgive him, but he couldn’t. The nigga had put a burner in his face and pulled the trigger. The only reason he was still alive was that the safety was on. Nah, he couldn’t forgive that.
Ladelle thought back to when he and Petie first met. They were in the fourth grade and they had teamed up immediately. They did everything together. Petie was a wild child even then, and Ladelle chased the girls. Ladelle remembered how all Petie wanted to do was rob the other kids, while he just wanted to sneak in the girls’ locker room. As the years went by, the two grew closer, calling themselves brothers.
Renee had moved into the neighborhood. She was friends with Ladelle’s cousin, who introduced her to both he and Petie. Even though Ladelle was attracted to her, he stood by and let Petie claim her. One thing led to another, and Petie and Renee got engaged. They got married after she got pregnant with Darnell.
When Darnell was fourteen months old, Petie caught charges and went Upstate for two to four years. Renee and Ladelle began spending a lot of time together; he held her down while his man was up North.
Ladelle remembered how much Petie loved his son. All he talked about was his baby boy. Ladelle couldn’t tell him that he was boning Renee while he was behind the wall. He knew it was foul, and he and Renee decided to keep it a secret.
Renee seemed to change after Dante was born. She always wanted Ladelle to be around. He didn’t mind because they were like his nephews anyway. He had a special bond with them that could never be taken away.
Ladelle was hurting. He had wanted Petie to know that he needed to change his life, and the only way he could get a fresh start was to clear his conscience. But Petie had taken it to another level. Ladelle thought that maybe he shouldn’t have told him, but he thought it would be best if he heard it from him and not Renee.
Lydia called Ladelle to the phone. It was Renee, and she wasn’t in a good mood. Ladelle was surprised by her call, but what surprised him even more was Lydia giving him the phone without beefing. But she knew what time it was and she had forgiven him. And she knew Renee wasn’t a threat to her. Ladelle picked up the phone, wondering what she had to say to him. ”Hello?” he said.
”Ladelle, all I want to know is why you found it necessary to tell Petie about us all of a sudden?” Renee asked getting right to the point.
”Because I needed to free myself of that bullshit. It was time to come clean and get that dirt out of my life,” Ladelle said, hoping she’d understand. Lydia listened in on another line in the apartment, waiting to here what Renee had to say.
”Did it ever occur to you that lives would be affected when you decided to confess? Did you take the time to think about anybody else but yourself?”
”Listen, I already told you why I did it, and if you got a problem with that then I don’t know what to tell you. This phone call is over. One,” Ladelle said and hung up.
Lydia hung up her line and asked Ladelle what Petie said when he told him about his affair with Renee. ”Does it really matter?” he replied. Then he finally told her that Petie put a gun to his face before getting up and going to the window. Lydia could feel his pain. Ladelle knew he was wrong for fucking Renee, but he’d never put a burner in Petie’s face under any circumstance. The whole shit was unbelievable, and he couldn’t swallow it.
”I’m sorry, baby,” Lydia said moving in close to him. ”I understand how close you were with him, but sometimes we outgrow people. I know you’re hurting and I know that was your man, but you’ve got to move on. Right now you’ve got to back up and let him go through what he has to go through to get where he needs to be. You’ve got to start living for your child.”
Ladelle really wanted to forgive Petie, but he couldn’t. He knew Lydia was right; he had to live for his unborn child. Ladelle started to cry like he hadn’t cried in years. He said a silent prayer for Petie and one for himself.