Amberley wasn’t in school again Wednesday or Thursday. Lisa and I both called but there was no answer. Thursday after school, I decided to walk over to her house. I knew I probably should have asked Lisa to come with me, but I really wanted to talk to Amberley alone.
Her house was small and rundown. Gray paint was peeling down from under the roof, the windows were small and dingy-looking, and the fence was missing a picket here and there. However, the grass was freshly mowed and there were beautiful yellow and purple pansies running up both sides of the sidewalk. I rang the doorbell, and called, “Amberley, it’s AJ. Are you home?”
After a long minute, the front door opened. Amberley was dressed in pale blue sweats, her dark hair was more flyaway than usual, her face was pale,, and her eyes looked like she had been crying. She stood there and said nothing
“Amberley, can I come in? Please. I really want to talk to you. I’m so sorry about hurting your feelings. I didn’t mean to, and I’m really, truly worried about you.”
She slowly opened the door. “All right. Come on in.”
I walked into a small living room furnished with nice but well-worn furniture that I could tell was old. There was a faint scent of lavender, beautiful paintings on the wall, and the hardwood floors were so polished I could see my face in them. The room led into a dining room, with a large round dining table and four chairs and an antique china cabinet that my mother would have loved. Then I saw the grab bars placed on the walls all over both rooms.
Amberley gave me her funny little smile and said, “Come on back to my bedroom, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
We walked through the dining room into an immaculate kitchen with old appliances, along a hallway, and then into a large bedroom. The room was pale pink, and against one wall stood an immense four-poster bed. I looked around and saw white curtains on the two bay windows, one of which had a wide window seat. An antique table sat on one side of the bed, and an old dresser and painted white desk were against the opposite wall. On the other side of the bed sat a small oxygen tank.
Amberley said, “Let’s sit on the window seat, it’s really comfortable.”
We sat down, and she scooted into a corner. “Okay, I was going to tell you before now, but it just never seemed like the right time. And then the cheerleading thing happened and…”
I interrupted her. “Look, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am about that. I’ve talked to Lisa and we got things straightened out.” I hesitated a minute. Amberley didn’t say anything, and what I had to say next was really hard.
“What Jaime said was true. I’m really ashamed, Amberley, but I did say some mean things about you and Lisa. That was before I knew you. I know that’s no excuse, and I want to apologize. Honest.”
Amberley still wasn’t saying anything, and it was so hard for me to go on. I guess maybe I’ve never had to apologize to somebody before…or maybe…I should have, but never did.
“I know I’m asking a lot. But please don’t be mad at me anymore. We’re…we’re almost like best friends, aren’t we? I mean, I really like you a lot. And I—I’m worried about you, ’cause I know something is wrong with you.”
Amberley looked at me like she was trying to read my mind. “It’s okay, AJ. I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. Remember when I said it didn’t matter what kids said about me? Usually it doesn’t but it did this time, because I like you so much and I wanted you to be my friend. So now can we just forget it, and be friends again?”
I reached over and hugged her. She felt fragile, and I realized that she wasn’t as…well, as pudgy as she used to be. “Yes! We’re friends again, now and forever. Now please tell me what’s wrong with you.”
She took a deep breath. “I have a neuromuscular condition known as Myasthenia Gravis. Have you ever heard of it?”
I shook my head. It sounded like something awful.
“Well, it’s pretty complicated, but I’ll try to explain it simply. Remember in our biology class when we learned how the brain sends signals to the nerves and then the nerves tell the muscles what to do?”
I nodded, but I didn’t think I wanted to know what was coming.
“Well, in Myasthenia Gravis, somehow the signals go wrong and the nerves don’t get the right messages. Then the muscles don’t do anything, or maybe they do the wrong thing. It’s like…well, like Celine telling Jaime to tell you what to do, but Jaime doesn’t understand so she gives you the wrong message. Then you do something wrong, because you didn’t get the right instruction. Does that make sense?”
I swallowed hard. I didn’t totally understand, but I nodded. “Okay, I get that part. Is that why you drop things and stumble so much?”
“Yeah, it is. Like, my brain tells the nerves to move the muscles in my feet, but the muscles don’t get the right message, so my feet don’t move right. That’s why I have the grab bars all over, so if that happens, I don’t fall down. It’s different in school, I don’t have anything there for support. It happens to my hands, too, so sometimes I can’t open doors or hold on to things. Everybody thinks I’m clumsy, but I’m used to it.”
I pointed to the oxygen tank. “What’s that for?”
“I need oxygen when my lungs don’t work right and I have trouble breathing. You know, your heart and lungs get signals from your brain just like everything else. Sometimes, mine don’t get the right ones, and that’s when I have trouble. When I don’t come to school it’s because I’m having to use the oxygen to breathe.”
I stared at Amberley without speaking. I was trying to understand what she was saying. If your heart and lungs need signals from the brain to work right, and sometimes her signals went wrong, then… that meant…sometimes her heart and lungs wouldn’t work right. That meant…Amberley could die.
“You’re not saying what I think you’re saying, are you? Please tell me you’re not.”
Amberley smiled sadly. “That’s just the way it is.”
“Isn’t there something the doctors can do? Can’t you take some medicine or something?”
“I do take medicine, AJ. And most of the time, it works okay. But sometimes it doesn’t, and there’s nothing the doctors can do about that.”
I started to ask another question, then I stopped. The house was silent, and I realized there was no one here but us. I didn’t want to change the subject, but it seemed strange that Amberley was going through such a bad time and there was no one with her.
“Amberley, where are your mom and dad? Are they both working? How come you don’t have anyone here with you?”
“Well, this is my grandmother’s house. I live with her. She is out shopping, but she’ll be home soon.” She hesitated a moment. “My parents produce geographical short subject movies. They travel all over the world, and they’re really busy. I haven’t lived with them since I was little.”
I sat there trying to take it all in. Amberley had a life-threatening illness, but her parents couldn’t bother being with her because they were too busy? How could parents do that to their kid? My parents might be getting a divorce but I knew they both loved us kids and would never leave us alone if one of us was so sick.
“So when you don’t answer the phone, it’s because you’re having trouble breathing?”
“Yeah. I have to conserve my air, so I don’t talk any more than I have to. I asked my grandmother not to answer the phone, either, because I don’t want any of the kids at school to know about my illness.”
“But, Amberley, why not? It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Some of the kids in school have things wrong with them, you know, like muscular dystrophy and stuff like that.”
She hesitated for a minute. “I know, but MG is such a strange disease and it takes so long to explain it, I don’t feel comfortable having anyone know about it. I guess it’s dumb, but that’s how I feel. My grandmother doesn’t tell anyone either, so that’s why she doesn’t answer the phone or the door when I’m sick.”
I didn’t say anything, but I thought that was strange. Didn’t Amberley’s grandmother have friends who would call or drop by?
“Amberley, does anyone at school know about this? I mean, what would happen if you got sick at school, nobody would know what to do.”
“Mr. Fox knows, and so does Mrs. McColley, my homeroom teacher. If anything happened, they could get me to the hospital. But please, please don’t tell anyone, promise me, AJ!”
“What about Lisa? You’ve been friends with her longer than with me, and you’ve never told her?”
She hesitated. “Well, I really like Lisa, but she…she’s different. I mean, she spent all that time in Europe and…well, you know what I mean. I just haven’t felt comfortable about telling her.”
“I know, but she’s a good friend, and she’s worried about you, too. She ought to know.”
Amberley thought for a moment. “Okay, you can tell Lisa, I guess. But she has to promise not to tell anyone else. Please don’t let anyone on the squad know. Celine would kick me off, for sure.”
I sniffed. “Ha, like I would tell Celine anything. Oh, I’ve got to tell you what’s happened!”
I told Amberley about the note, how my library book proved that Celine was lying, and that she wasn’t the captain anymore. I didn’t tell her what Cooper had found out. I couldn’t even explain it to myself, but I didn’t feel right about being the one responsible for the whole world finding out about Celine’s parents. And then, of course, there was that bit about my dad. How did he get involved with a Mob trial, anyway?
As we were talking about Celine, I looked around Amberley’s room more closely. I saw an easel with a painting sitting on it in the other bay window and a cabinet with tube paints. I walked over to the painting and realized it was of Sunni.
“Amberley, what’s this? I didn’t know you could paint like this! It’s wonderful!”
She smiled shyly. “I hope you don’t mind my painting Sunni. I’ll be finished with it soon, and then you can have it.”
“Mind? Are you kidding? It’s beautiful and it looks just like her.” I was enthralled with the painting. It looked like Sunni could just step off the canvas and start running. “But how did you get her to look like this? You’ve never seen her except since she’s been sick.”
“I don’t know, AJ. Somehow, I knew this is what she would look like when she’s able to run again. I’ve been painting since I was a little girl, and all I have to do is see something in my mind and I can put it down on the canvas. I looked at Sunni, and in my mind, I saw her running free in the hills.”
I remembered all the paintings I had seen in the living room. “Then all those paintings in the front are yours? All the landscapes and seascapes?”
“Yes, they’re mine. I’ve never seen the ocean, but when I read about it, I can see it in my mind, and it just trans…translates…into…”
Amberley’s face turned into a white mask so fast I thought she had died. She was gasping for breath as she stumbled across the room, grabbed the oxygen mask, and fell backward onto her bed.
“Amberley? Oh my gosh, Amberley what can I do? Should I call 911?” I was panicking.
Her eyes were shut, but she managed to shake her head, just as I heard the front door open and close. Her grandmother must be home. I ran down the hall straight into a tall, slender woman with short, graying black hair and a deeply lined face. She smiled, one of those that didn’t reach her brown eyes. “Well, hello. You must be AJ!”
I grabbed her hand. “Amberley’s in trouble, she can hardly breathe.”
She put the grocery sack she was carrying down on the dining room table and hurried into Amberley’s room. She went over to the bed and checked the oxygen level in the tank. “How are you doing, sweetie? Do we need to go to the hospital?”
Amberley took off the mask. “No, Nani, I’ll be… be okay. I…I’m having a little trouble…breathing. I’m really tired.”
Her grandmother turned to me. “AJ, I’m sorry but I’ll have to ask you to leave. Amberley needs to rest now. It was so nice of you to come and visit her, please come again.”
I looked over at Amberley but her eyes were closed and the mask was on her face again. I walked down the hall with her grandmother. “Mrs. Baker, is she going to be okay? She told me about the myasthenia gravis. I’m scared for her.”
Her grandmother took my hand and led me to a chair in the living room. Her face was sad, and her dark eyes filled with tears. “We don’t know what will happen. She’s been having these attacks where it’s hard for her to breathe more and more lately. Myasthenia is a strange disease and seems to affect people, particularly young people, very differently. The doctors do everything they can for her. But there is just so much that can be done, then it’s a matter of ‘wait and see.’ Some people go into a remission. We’re hoping that happens.”
“But Mrs. Baker…”
She interrupted me. “AJ, I am Amberley’s maternal grandmother. My name isn’t Baker, it is Mehta. I am Hindu, and my name is Janaki Mehta.”
I stared at her in astonishment. “Hindu? Then…Amberley’s from India?” That would explain her almost black hair, dark eyes, and faint lilt to her voice.
“No, Amberley was born in the U.S., but my daughter, her mother, was born and raised in India. When we came to the U.S., my daughter met and married an American named Baker. You heard Amberley call me Nani? It’s not ‘Nanny’ like you say here, it’s pronounced ‘NaNee.’ Amberley speaks the Hindu language, but only here at home.”
“Wow, she never told us that. Uh, Mrs. Mehta, can I ask you something? It’s pretty personal.”
She smiled at me. “Of course. What is it?”
I took a deep breath. I knew I probably shouldn’t ask, but I just couldn’t imagine Amberley being as sick as she was and her parents not being there with her. “Well, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but why aren’t Amberley’s mom and dad home with her? She told me they were in the entertainment business, but with her being so sick and all, how come they aren’t here?”
Mrs. Mehta’s face tightened and her eyes blazed. I thought, Oh great, you’ve way overstepped those boundaries Mom is always talking about.
“Amberley’s parents are geographical movie producers, and they go all over the world to do their movies. I’m sorry to say that my daughter and her husband care more for their careers than for their daughter, and I have raised her since she was two years old. She barely knows her parents.”
Mrs. Mehta and I talked for a little longer before I left. As I walked out the door, she said, “Thanks for coming over, AJ. Amberley needs a good friend like you right now.”
Good friend? I haven’t been nearly as good a friend as I’m going to be.
When I got home, I called Lisa and told her about Amberley’s illness and why she lived with her grandmother. I felt very protective of Amberley, especially now that I knew about her ‘missing’ parents. Aaghh!
Lisa didn’t say much, but I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was upset because Amberley had confided in me and not her.
In the mail I found a letter from Dad with a round trip ticket to San Francisco for the next afternoon. I was so excited! A little scared, too, because I’d never been on an airplane before and now I was going to be flying all by myself. That nasty little voice said, What about Amberley? What if she dies while you’re gone? Just shut up! Amberley is going to be fine.
The next morning after breakfast I hugged the twins and told them and Andrew goodbye. They all said they would take care of Sunni for me, but they didn’t say one word about me going to see Dad. Maybe it was true that I was the only one who still cared about him.
Mom met me after school to drive me to the airport in Denver. On the way, she gave me instructions about how to act on the plane, not to go anywhere with strangers at the airport while I was waiting to transfer and lots of other stuff. The plane flew into Los Angeles and I had to transfer to another plane to San Francisco. That was a little scary, but I really didn’t need a lecture from Mom about how to act. I guess she forgets sometimes that I am almost fourteen and not a little kid.
Soon it was time to hug her goodbye and board the plane. The flight attendant showed me where my seat was and I realized it was in First Class. Oh wow, this was so cool. Big, comfy chairs that went into all kinds of positions, a large tabletop that came up from the floor in front of me, and my own private TV screen. It was super deluxe! I settled down in the big seat, pushed a button and headphones, a remote control, and a list of shows to watch opened up in a side pocket. Wow! I wouldn’t mind being here for hours.
All too soon, though, we touched down in LA. Mom’s warnings about what I should and shouldn’t do were a waste of time, because I barely had time to get from the gate where we came in to the gate where I had to board the next plane to San Francisco. I was again in First Class, but the trip was so short I didn’t even get to watch a whole TV program. Then I was walking through the gate, and there was my dad.