Trapped, I’m trapped. Night and day I wait for him, hoping to see him on the shore of this turquoise beach, hoping that our meeting will restore my tranquillity. I try to escape my feelings by looking at the children, but I know they find me effeminate. My oracle goddess no longer focuses her sad eyes on me.
The children followed me, whispering to each other and pointing at me.
‘Listen you street fag, don’t stay here. Go away or else we’ll throw stones at you.’
‘Stop! He is Loulwa’s brother! Don’t say another word. She defends him all the time. She might not let us work anymore.’
‘Work? Work as what?’ I ask.
‘It’s none of your business. Go away! It’s our work, all of us. Go screw yourself. Anyway, here comes your boyfriend.’
That’s when I saw his car. The face came nearer, the eyes spoke of love and tenderness. I drifted over to him. Suddenly life became beautiful, the atmosphere pleasant. I took a deep breath out of pleasure, out of the desire to be with him.
Loulwa came nearer. She wanted to take me away.
‘I’m coming with you, I’m following you,’ I said to him very quickly so that no obstacle would come between us. He placed his hand on Loulwa’s shoulder affectionately: ‘Come with us. We’re going for a ride. I only have this sports car for a few hours. We’re going to have lots of fun.’
Deafening music, intoxicating smiles, the handkerchief flying in the wind. Too much happiness all at once! Our laughs merge. His body is near mine.
Loulwa wants to eat.
‘I’m inviting you to a classy restaurant for some delicious fish.’
‘Do you have enough money to invite us for lunch?’
‘I have the cash. It’s up to you to find the best restaurant.’
‘The one I’ve heard of is “The Fisherman” in Jbeil. It should do. Let’s go and see posh people. I want to see posh people.’ He broke into laughter. My sister amused him.
‘Easy thing, posh people! I’ll show them to you tonight,’ he said.
‘Do you know any? Yassine told me about them. He was performing during one of their private functions and was very impressed. And how come you know such people?’
‘How do you think I manage to drive a car like this? It costs a fortune. It belongs to some rich people who own three cars.’
‘You must be kidding. I don’t believe you.’
‘You’ll see what I mean with your own eyes.’
All my senses were awakened as I listened to the conversation. God, how good I felt, as his hand gently caressed my shoulder while the other expertly manoeuvred the steering wheel. God, how happy we were!
Translated by Sleiman El-Hajj