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February 18
Dear Scott,
I just got home from Winter Grove and have to tell you what happened. You know how I’ve been a little impatient for God to bring me to the mission field? I think you more than anybody understand what it’s like to have that longing and to always wonder if God’s going to fulfill it or not.
So I hate to confess it, but I’ve been a little anxious, asking God what he’s doing and not really trusting his plans or his timing, which are so perfect! Today, I was having a rough shift at work. It wasn’t anything about the residents. If my entire job was just taking care of the elderly, I would be thrilled. But there’s a lot of other stuff going on too, behind-the-scenes drama. My co-workers are really upset with the administration because they’re changing up the overtime schedule. Anyway, that’s all besides the point. The only reason I bring it up is because a lot of people today were upset and grumbling about the new policy, and I can’t blame them. It doesn’t make a huge difference to me as long as they keep on giving me Sundays off, but it’s really inconvenient for some of the others.
But back to work. I was having a hard day because first everyone around me was upset about the policy, and second I just felt really impatient, more so than normal, to get onto the mission field. I know the Kingdom Builders summer program’s only a few months away, and I’m so excited Mom agreed to let me go, but even that internship’s not the full-time missionary work I feel called to.
So I was helping the residents get ready for breakfast, and in between rooms I was praying to God and asking him to give me a better perspective, and I thought about what you said the other night when we were talking, how every Christian should be in full-time ministry, no matter what their actual job is. And I know I’ve heard things like that before, but it really hit home today. So I asked myself, “How would my job look different if I was from another country and raised support to work here at Winter Grove?”
It really changed my outlook, and it really encouraged me to start to think of myself as a missionary right where I am. My mom always tells me, “Bloom where you’re planted,” which is kind of cute and clichéd, but it really makes sense.
I started to pray for more opportunities to share the gospel with the people around me, and there’s this one resident who’s been really difficult for me. Not difficult to get along with, I’m just talking like literally hard because he’s at least a hundred pounds overweight and doesn’t want to use a wheelchair, but he needs a lot of help getting places. And he doesn’t talk, either. He’s one of the sad ones who just seems trapped inside himself.
Anyway, I was taking him to the bathroom of all places, and I was thinking about Winter Grove as a mission field, and so I asked him if he knew about Jesus. And it was really awkward because he’s so hard of hearing I had to shout in his ear. I’m not exaggerating, either, I was literally shouting, “Do you know who Jesus is and how he died to save you from your sins?”
And I’ll never forget it, but as soon as I said that, he got totally lucid. No confusion or anything, and he looked at me and for the first time his eyes weren’t glazed over. And he said, “I don’t know him.”
So I said (or shouted, really), “Do you want to?” And he looked right at me and nodded! I only got to talk to him for another minute or so because one of my co-workers came up to pass out his meds, and then the glassy look was back and we never got another moment like that. But I’m praying for more breakthroughs for him, and I’d love for you to pray too. His name is Duke. He used to be a professional boxer. Can you believe that?
That’s all for now, because I told Mom I’d help with Kitty’s snack while she runs to the store. She’s going to make her own wedding cake and is doing a practice run today!
Talk with you soon!
Blessings,
Susannah