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Well, God, you brought me through another long morning. I don’t know how you managed, but you did.
Susannah relished the sound of the hot water filling up the tub. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed a long bath. After checking one last time to make sure Kitty was still napping soundly, she put on one of her mom’s old instrumental worship CDs and sank into the tub.
The Lord is my strength and my shield, an ever-present help in times of trouble.
She shut her eyes, letting the water fill all the way to the top.
The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
She hummed along with the soft piano and violin music and thought about some of her favorite verses from Psalms.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
God had given her so much. A close family. Almost two decades with a kind, gentle mother who taught her about the Lord and modeled how to be a selfless servant to others.
A few months of excitement and happiness when Susannah thought she’d found the man she wanted to marry.
Comfort even in the worst of troubles.
The Lord is good, and his love endures forever.
Maybe she didn’t always feel the Holy Spirit like she had last Sunday at church, but she could never doubt his love. He’d blessed her life in so many ways, given her so many opportunities, surrounded her with so many people who loved her ...
If only he hadn’t taken them each out of her life one by one until only she and Kitty remained.
Weeping may last for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
That’s what she had to focus on. God’s love and mercy and goodness. There was no point dwelling on painful memories. She didn’t want to grow old and bitter. She wanted God’s love to pour out of her freely. Effortlessly. Abundantly.
Even if she never fell in love again.
Lord, why do I keep thinking about him? Why can’t I get him out of my mind?
She hated to admit it, but ever since Grandma Lucy’s prayer at church, she’d been allowing thoughts of Scott to steal more and more of her mental energy. There had to be something else to focus on.
Christmas is in only ten days, Lord. Just ten more days ...
She still remembered the afternoon she’d come home from her shift at Winter Grove last fall and saw her mom mixing dough. “What are you making?”
“Friendship bread starter. If I get it ready now, we can make a batch to welcome Scott when he comes here to meet you.”
Susannah had looked forward to that visit with the childish hopes of a five-year-old waiting for Santa’s sleigh. Ten days until she finally saw Scott face to face, heard his voice for real instead of through the phone. Looked into his eyes.
Just ten more days ...
Susannah shut off the bath water and counted again to make sure she’d done the math right.
Ten days until Christmas.
She stood up, ignoring the cold chill that seeped through her skin.
Ten more days.
If she threw things together today, the starter would be ready to make Amish friendship bread Christmas morning.
Mom might be gone, sorrow might eek out of every one of her pores until she didn’t know how she could even breathe, but Susannah was going to give her sister a joyful Christmas whether she felt like it or not.