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It was a few minutes after seven as Susannah pulled up the long driveway of Safe Anchorage Farms. Hopefully the gift shop was still open.
She parked the car and hopped out, grateful to see the lights of the store still on. Bells jingled their welcome as she entered. A dozen scents, each one a slight variation of the next, wafted toward her. She ran her eyes over the labels of the soaps and candles made from Safe Anchorage goat milk. If Kitty didn’t have such sensitive skin, she’d buy her one of the perfumed lotions. Maybe a nice candle instead. Susannah picked up the cinnamon and then the lilac, trying to decide which Kitty would prefer.
Connie, Grandma Lucy’s niece who ran the shop, bustled out of a back room, wiping her hands on her apron. Her face lit up in a smile as her eyes landed on Susannah.
“Well, look who it is. Doing a little last-minute Christmas shopping?”
Susannah nodded.
“You see those journals in the back? Joy brought some new designs in last week.”
“Oh, thanks. I just finished my old one.”
Connie smiled. “Girl like you, it doesn’t surprise me.”
Susannah made a mental note to check them out before she left.
“Take your time looking around. Grandma Lucy stopped by for a visit, and we’re going to be drinking tea here in the back, so just let me know when you’re ready to check out. Better yet, if you’re not in a rush, come and join us for a spell. It’s nice to see you out and about. Who’s watching your sister tonight?”
Susannah wondered what it might be like to live in a big city where the people she encountered had no idea about her past or her family situation. It couldn’t feel lonelier than Orchard Grove, could it?
Susannah shivered from the cold. “A cup of tea sounds nice if you’re sure I’m not intruding.”
Connie shook her head. “You know Grandma Lucy. Nothing she loves more than a good visit.”
Susannah followed her into the back room, where Grandma Lucy sat in a rocker that nearly swallowed her small frame. She reached out her warm hands to grasp Susannah’s. “You’re so cold. You aren’t coming down with a virus, are you?”
Susannah shook her head. With as scared as her mom had been about Kitty catching a cold or flu, Susannah had been schooled from the earliest age in every single home remedy, herbal concoction, and over-the-counter homeopathic even suspected to boost immunity. It had been three or four years since her last sore throat.
“You just sit down here and visit,” Connie said. “I just remembered I have bread rising I’ve got to check on. I’ll only be a few minutes.”
The mention of bread reminded Susannah why she’d stopped here in the first place. “Oh, do you have any friendship starter?”
“Sure do.” Connie draped her knitted sweater over her apron and fastened the oversized buttons. “I’ll bring you back some from the house. In the meantime, help yourself to some tea. We’ve got plenty.”
It wasn’t until Connie left that Susannah realized how intensely Grandma Lucy was staring at her. Trying not to show her unease, Susannah reached out for the teapot. Her hands shook when she poured her drink “I was really encouraged by your prayer on Sunday,” she offered weakly.
Grandma Lucy smiled. “Tell me how God spoke to you.”
Susannah warmed her hands on the teacup. “Well, I guess the part that stood out to me the most was about how God finishes the work he starts in us. You quoted that verse in Isaiah about how he doesn’t bring to the point of birth and then fail to carry out the delivery. I’ve been thinking about my own life, how it all fits together in his plans.” Susannah was rambling. Her cheeks heated up.
“You’re talking about the mission field?”
Susannah tried to hide the way her teacup trembled in her hand. “Yeah. Did my mom tell you about that or something?”
Grandma Lucy smiled. “No, dear. But you have missionary written all over your face. When you get to be my age, you’ll see those things.”
Susannah doubted that but didn’t waste time arguing.
“So God has called you to the mission field.” There wasn’t a hint of a question in Grandma Lucy’s statement.
“Well, I thought he had. But then there was the car accident, and now Kitty ...” Susannah stopped short. When had she lost the basic mechanics of expressing herself? Had it really been that long since she sat down and visited with someone?
“You think God’s forgotten you. You think he called you to the mission field and then changed his mind and abandoned you.”
Susannah had never expressed her feelings in those terms before, but she realized Grandma Lucy was right. “Yeah. It seems like it. I mean, I know ...”
Grandma Lucy held up her hand for silence. Susannah waited patiently for an uncomfortable minute before Grandma Lucy spoke again, except this time she wasn’t addressing Susannah.
“Lord, you know this young woman’s dilemma. You know how earnestly her heart has longed for the mission field, but for this season you’ve called her to bloom where she’s planted, and that makes her feel like you’ve deserted her entirely.”
Susannah blushed to hear such a candid assessment of her spiritual state.
“Lord, we know that you are not a God of chaos. This confusion does not come from you, and so we rebuke it in the name of Jesus, and we ask that in its place you bring deep clarity. Show your child the secret of being content in any and every situation. Reaffirm your love for her. She spends many weary days filling others up and tending to their needs, and now we’re asking you to do the same for her. Meet her where she is. Give her joy where she is. You’re using this time to prepare her, sharpen her.”
Something in Grandma Lucy’s tone had changed. Even though she was still praying to God, Susannah got the distinct impression that she was speaking to her. Preaching to her. Pouring encouragement into her battle-weary soul.
“Show her that not a day of her calling will be lost. You still have plans for her that extend beyond Orchard Grove, beyond Washington State, to the very ends of the earth. You will go with her, guiding her each step through fire and rain and storm, and in each chapter of her life you will be there, leading and protecting her. You are her good shepherd. You have laid down your life for her, just as she wants to lay down her life for you. You’ve seen the sacrifices she’s made, and in your good plans you will restore all that was once lost.”
Restore. There was that word again. Susannah didn’t want to believe. Didn’t want to set herself up for even more disappointment, but hope was calling to her. Beckoning to her. She couldn’t resist.
Yes, Lord. I will hope in you, and I will find the courage to trust you to restore everything I gave up. Just give me the patience to wait until that day.
Grandma Lucy was silent, and Susannah looked up. Grandma Lucy was staring at her with a look that was so frank, so candid Susannah was certain the old woman had opened up her rib cage and was staring into her very soul.
The thought hit her like a burst of heat from the wood stove in the back of the room. She knows about Scott.
It was ridiculous. Her mom recognized how gossip could spread in a community like Orchard Grove. Neither she nor Susannah had mentioned Scott to anyone but Derek, and he wasn’t the type to go blabbing that sort of news around town.
Nobody had told Grandma Lucy about Scott, but she knew. Susannah was sure of it.
Grandma Lucy’s eyes twinkled. There was a playfulness there, like when Susannah and Derek joked with Kitty about her Prince Charming.
Maybe I should ask her.
The thought was as fleeting as it was absurd. What was she supposed to say? Oh, by the way, Grandma Lucy, there’s this guy I fell in love with almost a year ago. I’ve never met him, but there were times I was convinced we were going to get married. Except all that fell apart, so I’m wondering if you can tell me what plans God has for the two of us since you’re so much better at hearing from him than I am.
It was ridiculous. She shouldn’t.
Couldn’t.
Susannah opened her mouth.
“Here I am.” The store bells jingled. “You’re one lucky girl. This is our last batch of starter until next week, and it’s all yours.” Connie bustled back into the room, shattering the spiritual intensity that hung heavy in the room after Grandma Lucy’s prayer.
Connie sat down with a loud sigh. “I remember your mom making that friendship bread for Sunday school. She was such a good baker.”
Susannah glanced at Grandma Lucy, who looked so serene. Like a sage.
I could still ask her, Susannah thought to herself. Grandma Lucy knows something about my future.
It was a silly assumption. If God wanted to tell Susannah about Scott, he could speak to her himself. There was no need to ask this old woman in her rocking chair. Besides, what gave Susannah the impression that Grandma Lucy could hear from God better than she could? Didn’t all believers have access to the same Holy Spirit?
“It was a nice sermon Sunday, wasn’t it?” Connie prattled.
Susannah made the appropriate replies to keep the conversation going, but she stole glances every now and then at Grandma Lucy, who appeared to be dozing off in her rocker.
Or maybe she was praying.
Praying for Susannah?
Praying for Susannah and Scott?
Susannah sat in the back for a few more minutes, then did a little bit of shopping until she found presents for Kitty and Derek as well as some stationary and a new journal for herself.
An hour after she arrived, she headed back into the dark night, started up the car, and began the winding drive home.