Chapter 32

the darkest of dreams

It rained for the next day and took two more for the spongy ground to absorb the abundant rainfall. The wild river was finally starting to settle down, and the water ran clearer than it had since the heavy showers began. The soft, wet grass in the pastures had taken a beating from all the hooves trampling it, and the horses were now caked in dirt from rolling around in the mud. No sooner had Finn brushed it out of their coats and manes that they’d turned around and dirtied themselves again. All the extra work kept Finn busy from sunrise to sunset, and left him more tired and irritable than Annika had ever seen him. But she didn’t see him much at all after waking up from their interactive dream. He’d made himself so scarce that she only saw him at dinner when he fixed himself a plate before disappearing again.

Zaven had also disappeared, leaving as soon as the roads were dry enough to travel on. Everyone was left feeling a bit let down by his abrupt departure…everyone but Runa. She’d been surprisingly unaffected and seemed content to spent every spare moment of her time at Annika’s side. The two of them explored all the unseen rooms of the sprawling home and snuck into the tall abandoned watchtower that overlooked the landscape. They huffed their way up the spiraling staircase, stepping over pigeon droppings and pushing aside massive cobwebs just to watch the sun set over the mountains. The pale white leaves of the silver trees gleamed in the light while evergreens remained dark and brooding in their little cliques. Patches of wildflowers had been thrust out of the ground and their color seemed almost unnatural against the soft, lush, revitalized grass that blanketed the valleys. The roses were also in full bloom, and some grew wild while others had been trellised over arches and up along the walls of the Marinossian home. The scents drifted in through every open window, and Annika was sure that she was sleeping better now because of it. At night before bedtime she and Runa lit every candle and snooped through all the nooks and crannies and mysterious corners of Talvi’s room. Instead of playing CD’s in his battery-operated player, they dusted off his old phonograph records and listened to those instead. They’d thrown open the doors of both of his tall armoires and were in the process of playing dress-up with his clothes.

“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight,” Annika said as she carefully picked through the hats on the upper shelf. “Are you bummed out because Zaven left so soon?”

“No. On the contrary, I’m relieved to have a bit of a break from his attention.” The samodiva gave a weary attempt at a smile. “It’s so…constant.”

“Really? I didn’t think he was the clingy type, but then, I’m not the one going out with him.”

“Oh, he and I didn’t go out very often,” Runa explained with a serious expression on her dainty heart-shaped face. “We went to the seaside a number of times, but mostly we stayed in with Ambrose and the rest of Talvi’s cousins…when we weren’t working in the vineyards, that is.”

“I meant that I’m not the one seeing him romantically. That’s what going out with someone means,” Annika clarified with a grin. “From what I remember, Zaven didn’t seem very needy.”

“He’s not,” Runa said, taking the embroidered sleeve of a black velvet coat into her hand. “But he wants me to be his and his alone.”

Annika didn’t answer right away. Instead, she went over to the phonograph and swapped out the record. A thin, grainy instrumental tune began to fill the air, and if it weren’t for the CD cases and piles of batteries lying nearby, she would’ve sworn she’d stepped back in time by at least a hundred years.

“Why’s that a bad thing that he wants to be serious with you? He’s such a babe.”

Runa’s big brown eyes grew even larger as she turned to Annika.

“I’ve never belonged to any man. I’ve never wanted to. And now I’m being left behind because of it.”

“Who’s leaving you behind?”

“My mother’s having a child with Justinian, and I just learnt that my sister is raising one with his younger brother. Then there’s the fact that my best mate has moved on without me…and of course you have as well, since you’re his wife,” she said, and pulled the frock coat off the wooden hanger. “You’ve all found someone you love, and you’re all beginning to create families of your own. You’re moving on with your lives and meanwhile I’m still Runa the flibbertigibbet, who dances till dawn and frequently drinks more than is good for her.”

“Hey, I happen to like Runa the flibbertigibbet,” Annika argued. “And just for the record, when I woke up the morning after the Perperuna dance I had a huge hangover from partying so hard. In fact, it was so bad that I threw up over the edge of Talvi’s balcony.”

A little smile crept across Runa’s lips.

“I’ve thrown up over the edge of his balcony more than once. So has he. That’s probably why there aren’t any flowers growing underneath it.” A curious light entered Annika’s eyes.

“Huh. I wondered about that patch of dead grass… But seriously, Runa, I’ll be the first to tell you that I have no intention of having kids. At least, not in the foreseeable future. As far as I’m concerned, I already have a family. You’re part of it.”

“You say that, and it is very kind of you, but I remember the tarot card reading you had at Talvi and Yuri’s birthday party,” Runa countered with a skeptical look. “You drew the High Priestess card, which means you are to be the ideal wife and mother.”

“Well, I’m not a mom, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the ideal wife, either,” Annika muttered while simultaneously thinking I’m a horrible one.

“Perhaps you don’t think you’re the ideal wife and mother, but your Page of Rods certainly thinks so,” Runa insisted. She maneuvered the massive coat in her dainty hands while searching for the arm holes. “That was the second card Pesha drew for you that night. Don’t you remember?”

“Vaguely,” Annika dismissed before picking out an old newsboy cap from the wide assortment of hats.

“Then how lucky for you that I was paying attention,” Runa chided. “Pesha was quite accurate in the cards she drew for both you and I. If you still have doubts about your destiny in life, I think you ought to read more about what the Page has to offer you. When I was at Corbin and Weaver’s house, I asked her about it.”

“Why would you ask her about my card reading?” Annika said, pulling on the worn-out cap. She walked over to the mirror and tugged the moth-eaten brim until it sat at a jaunty angle. Runa gave a simple, unconcerned shrug at her question.

“I asked her about my reading as well, but as you said just a bit ago, we are family. I’ve known Talvi for three-hundred years, so it’s only natural that I’d like to know what awaits you and my dearest friend. I know you’ve never met her, but Weaver’s almost as good at reading tarot cards as Pesha. She said the Page symbolizes your devoted lover, which is Talvi, of course. He’s the ambitious messenger of all the new beginnings that await you, and he’ll do anything to help make your dreams come true.”

Annika couldn’t help flashing a skeptical glance at her.

“Anything? That seems like a tall order.”

Runa simply snickered to herself.

“That’s because you don’t know Talvi like I do. When he wants something, he’ll stop at nothing to get it. He loves you so dearly that I don’t doubt for a second that he’s the Page of Rods. Just like that card, he’s come into your life to create change, and to help you see the world from a new perspective.”

She slipped her slender arms into the long sleeves and secured the large coat around her petite frame. With the ends of the sleeves falling well beyond her hands, she flapped her arms in front of herself like a seal until Annika grinned. Finally she pushed them up and fastened a few of the buttons. When she saw her reflection in the mirror, she burst out laughing.

“Would you look at that? Talvi’s not even here and yet he’s still helping us see things from a new perspective.” She turned to the side and took another bemused look at her reflection. “I knew this coat would be too big for me, but Badra’s beard—it’s enormous! With a few alterations and a crinoline or two, I could turn it into a fancy ball gown like Yuri wears. Now come dance with me.”

She began to hum as she drifted across the ornate rug and reached for Annika’s hand. The moment she took it, a burst of warmth and joy and effervescent sunshine filled her palm.

“What was that?” she asked, pulling her hand out of Runa’s. The blonde’s forehead furrowed in worry.

“Well…it was going to be a waltz.”

Annika shook her head.

“No, I mean that buzzing sensation that happened just now.” She glanced down at their bare feet standing on the ornate rug. “It wasn’t static electricity. It was like champagne…but in my hand.”

“You’re being silly,” Runa dismissed, and reached for Annika’s hand again. Once more, that burst of warmth and joy seeped into her palm. The vibration hummed noiselessly through her skin, through her head, and throughout the rest of her body. She closed her eyes, wondering if she could pinpoint the exact place where it was coming from, but she already knew. She let her fingers fall out of the wood nymph’s hand. Just as quickly as it began, the sensation stopped.

Breathing harder, she reached for Runa’s hand a third time. The bright beam of light immediately responded, and just like before, it stopped the second she took her hand away. Runa watched in amusement as Annika conducted her experiment over and over to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. She half-laughed and half-yelped each time that it gave her the same results.

“I know what it is,” she finally said. “It’s you.”

Runa tucked a long section of her blonde hair behind her ear, gazing at Annika with inquisitive wonder.

“Is it me? Or is it you?” she asked with a curious grin. “Talvi gave you so much more than a wedding band on the day you were married. He gave you his blood, and you’ve been changing ever since. Perhaps the last of what made you human has been washed away? Perhaps you’ve finally become one of us?”

Annika glanced over at the pictures pinned above Talvi’s desk. Maybe it was because she was getting used to looking at them, or maybe it was because Runa was by her side, but the ornery smirk looking back at her didn’t seem nearly as threatening now. If anything, it beckoned from the faded photographs, whispering seductive sweet nothings to her through both time and space. She glanced down at the bright platinum band inscribed with the silver thread, knowing that it spelled out a promise that hadn’t been made lightly. Maybe it was that very same promise that she heard coming from those pictures. She walked over to the phonograph to play the record again, then took Runa’s hand one last time while draping her other arm around her narrow shoulder. The two of them drifted into a lively waltz, stumbling over the clothes and books lying all over the floor. Like so many times this summer, another current of déjà vu swept into her mind; this time it brought her back to a waltz in her living room. Instead of dancing around clothes and books, she’d been dancing around piles of shingles and bags of plaster. The candlelight in the room made the coat look darker than the night. She let her hands run over the soft velvet lapel as she realized the wood nymph might be wearing the jacket, but someone else much closer to her was inside of it.

Just like the bedroom and the sheets and the pillows, the unforgettable scent of spices and flowers clinging to the coat reminded Annika of a sunny autumn day in the woods. It reminded her of warm leather and broken-in suede, and the rush that can only come from restrained lust. She saw a mouth grinning at her, but it wasn’t the mouth that had taught her geography and history all summer. This mouth had the same soft, warm appearance of her tutor’s, yet it was remarkably different. This mouth had the identical structure and fullness and shape, but the grin upon this one was magnetic and tempting. More than anything, this other mouth was impossible to ignore and unfeasible to forget.

Long after the music and dancing had ended, Annika lay curled up in her massive bed, unable to stop thinking about this mouth. Runa snored quietly a few feet away, completely oblivious to her friend’s inability to sleep. All but one candle had been extinguished, and now Annika stared beyond the heavy red curtains that had been pulled back and draped around the bedposts. She watched as the night crept in around her while thinking of nothing but this mouth. She grinned to herself when one corner of it twitched mischievously at her. There was something about the shameless and wanton expression that set her completely on fire. It gave her the sense that her soul was shining as bright as Vega at her fullest, and she couldn’t help wondering if Badra, Marillia, or anyone else could see her radiant light from beyond the balcony. She covered her eyes with her forearm, wondering if it would shut out not only the light from the candle, but also the light pouring out of her heart. The answer was nearly instant.

She found herself wrapped up in the starry cloak of another realm, suspended somewhere between sleep and waking life. A pair of black boots was now perched on the balcony and two long legs slowly stepped down and sauntered into the room without making a sound. The only thing she heard besides the owls and crickets outside was her breath when it drew in sharply…and the sound of her heart beating furiously inside of her chest. The slender figure strolled towards her while casually running his hand through his wild black hair. When the tall, dark, and deadly creature approached the side of the bed and looked down at her, the corner of his mouth twitched again. Annika trembled as her body responded against her will to his presence. Every single hair stood on end, electrified by her anticipation. Wave after wave of premonition flooded her senses and her bloodstream, but it wasn’t fear that wanted to take her. It was the Darkest of Dreams.

Like a storm cloud rolling across the plains, he carefully crept over her, hovering just above Annika’s nose while exuding an excess of raw desire. The mattress didn’t sink down with his weight and yet she could feel his body pressing against her thighs, against her breasts, and along her waist when his hand caressed her ever so softly.

“You’re a hard girl to find, Annika Marinossian,” he said with a twinkle in his blue-green eyes. His warm fingertips continued to stroke her skin, but there was no malice in his touch. The only threat he posed was to reignite a fire that had been confined to existing as small embers for much too long. As if he had a pocket full of tinder to go with his silver lighter, he gave a satisfied grin before laying it on thick. “Whatever shall I do with you? Tie you down with rope?”

“I won’t let you tie me down with anything,” she sassed back, and pushed him a few inches away. Amused by her defiance but not deterred, his eyes lit up like flames while his hand traveled along her curves. Despite herself, her skin broke out in goosebumps as an unresolved suffering began to ache below the pit of her stomach. The weeks of longing and languishing for release had taken their toll, and now those hidden embers were growing hotter with every movement he made. One more breath was all he needed to spark the fire—and he knew it. He leaned down close to Annika’s ear and let his warm words tickle and torture her all at once.

“I won’t tie you down with anything…but are you quite certain about the rope?” he murmured. “From what I’ve gathered, you’re rather fond of being restrained from time to time. When it pleases you, that is.” His feigned pout melted into a seductive grin while he gazed deep into her eyes. He played back a scene from her bedroom back home in Portland; a memory of the very first morning after he’d arrived on her doorstep. She’d just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready for work, but he’d stolen her stockings and found a more erotic use for them instead. With every little detail Annika recalled from that encounter, the smirk on Talvi’s face grew more and more pleased. She instinctively drew her knees together and blushed at the images playing in the shared space of their minds, but she didn’t try pushing him away a second time. Instead, she watched in pleasure as his left hand continued to run up and down the side of her body. It cupped her breasts through her threadbare nightclothes and caught her firm nipples between his long fingers before reaching across her waist. His hand and his focus slipped down to her inner thigh, skimming along the soft flesh as it drifted away from her knees and further up her leg. He snickered to himself and continued to gaze down at her. “Perhaps I underestimated how wild you truly are. I don’t wish to tie you down or tame you completely, but you’re proving rather difficult for me to find. Tell me where you are, my little dove. Tell me where you are, and I’ll set you free.”

He let his lips brush against her cheek as he brought his nose in front of hers once more. His tongue flicked at her upper lip while his fingers nestled against the heat between her legs. The desperate hope of seduction was too much to bear; she needed to be sure of it. When he traced along the seams of her cotton shorts, her hips rolled against his hand instead of away from it. Unable to bear the tension any longer, she closed her eyes and lifted her chin to his mouth, drinking him in with unprecedented hunger and thirst. The flavors of fruit trees and sweet spices flooded her senses, leaving her heart pounding as she pulled him tight against her body. His tongue was firm yet soft as it tasted her, and humming with electricity…much like the hand that continued to massage between her thighs. An elated moan escaped her lips as she kissed him again and again, and she saw herself riding Ghassan through a field of roses. She heard the silky tenor of his laugh and the hypnotic notes from the songs they’d written together. Then the lyrics trickled out, and even in the darkness, the fog in her mind began to lift.

You know I tried to

Resist you,

But when you kissed me

Like lovers do

Oh, I knew…it was only a matter of time,

Before you would be mine.

She heard the urgency in his voice when he pulled away from her mouth and spoke again.

“Yes…that’s right. Now tell me where you are, my little dove.”

A flash of light nearly blinded Annika as she saw herself surrounded by freshly laundered sheets hanging to dry. The young man in black was tugging at the buttons on her pants while pushing her back against the snowy ground.

“I’m in your bed.”

“That’s not what you’re showing me.”

Annika pushed away the memory of him taking her in the snow, trying to move ahead through the timeline in her mind. Now she was on the kitchen table back at her house, laid out like a meal and about to be devoured. She heard a low laugh and saw Talvi shake his head.

“As delectable as that is, that’s in the past. I need to know where you are at this very moment.”

“I’m in your bed,” she repeated.

“As you ought to be…” he whispered again. His fingers continued to taunt her through her shorts, working her into a frenzy. “Tell me exactly where that is, and I’ll come for you.”

The heated longing took charge of Annika’s ability to answer or to think anything other than tasting this mouth again. She held him closer and embraced him, savoring the sweet, seductive flavor of his wine and honey-laced kisses.

“I’m right here…I’m in your room…in your bed,” she sighed in between kisses. Her mysterious lover drew back and shook his head, then glanced at the pillow where Runa should’ve been sleeping. When Annika turned to look, the samodiva was gone.

“This is only a dream,” Talvi explained. He draped her thigh over his hip and let his fingers wander across her smooth skin. Annika reached out into the dark, still expecting to feel Runa lying beside her. All she grasped was emptiness. “I’ve been trying to find my way inside your mind for weeks,” he went on. “It felt as though someone had shut me out intentionally…until tonight. I know it wasn’t you. Have you any idea who it might be?”

Shaking her head, Annika felt a hint of the guilt she’d experienced earlier that night, and so many times prior. Before the sensation derailed her thoughts, she caught sight of a soft, pink-tinged light glowing from underneath the bedroom door. She heard the sound of footsteps approaching from down the hall. The Darkest of Dreams heard them too, and he narrowed his eyes at the wrought-iron handle of the door. There was a distinctive click as he locked it shut with an unseen force.

“What’s he doing here?” he asked with a suspicious edge to his voice. The doorknob began to shake and rattle as steadfast Badra leaned against it with all his might, but the solid oak door was impenetrable. “Why is he here at this hour? Has he come to you before?”

Annika’s heart began to thump harder, and even though she was shaking her head no, her deepest, darkest secrets weren’t secret at all from the Darkest of Dreams. Just as quickly as he’d appeared, he wriggled out of her embrace and headed towards the light glowing outside the room. She didn’t see the door open or close, but she knew that he was gone. She slipped out of bed and rushed to the door, then got down on her knees to peer through the keyhole and into the hall. If there was any light coming from the other side it was long gone, and in its wake was nothing but night.