SITTING IN HER car, she stared at the front of Starbucks, debating within herself if she should just start her car back up and get the hell out of there. She couldn’t believe she had allowed her father to talk her into meeting Vince for coffee. There were so many other things she should be doing. To be honest, there were many things she would rather be doing. This was a mistake she had already made once. So, why was she making it again?
God, she wished she knew.
With a deep breath, she opened her car door and stepped into the past.
She was crying, but then again when wasn’t she crying. She had shed tears for the past year, ever since the plane crash destroyed her family. Vince Andrews had been there, a constant support for everything she was going through. He held her when she couldn’t stand on her own two feet, physically as well as emotionally. With Brent and Lily’s help, he kept the foundation running and oversaw the things she just had not been able to handle right then. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to handle it. She just wanted to lay down and die. She should have been dead. She should have been on that plane. Just like Marc. Just like Maggie. She would have died, as well, if it hadn’t been for her having drank too much the previous night.
“You have to stop blaming yourself, Jacqui.” Vince had been Marc’s friend since their college days. Together, they began The Karston Foundation, creating businesses that others could take over—for a profit, of course. It had always been about the profits, until Katrina, and then it became all about the people. “Be thankful that you’re alive.”
She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I don’t want to be alive, don’t you get it? I don’t deserve to be alive. I enjoyed my life and, because of that, I wasn’t there when my family needed me the most.” Sobs wracked her body, her chest heaving with the deep gasps of breath she had to take between the downpours of tears.
He held her, pulling her head to his chest, his powerful, firm chest. With her hand on his chest, she braced herself, holding him close, even though her body told her to pull away. Her father had called him, told Vince that he couldn’t get her to see reason any longer. Vince rushed right over and took her in his arms. She should have pushed him away, but she couldn’t. She had no strength and needed his right then.
And he had given it to her, his arms wrapped around her, holding her to him as he stroked her hair, making soft assurances with his deep voice. She held onto his words, held onto him. As she closed her eyes, she pretended that it was Marc holding her, embracing her. She took a deep breath and could almost smell him. Another tear rolled down her face.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here. I won’t let you fall too far away from us.”
“I should have died.”
He put his hand under her chin and tilted her head so he could look deep into her eyes. “I’m glad you didn’t.” His eyes were so soft, so caring. She stared up into him and felt herself getting lost. She didn’t even notice when he started to lean down or when his lips—his soft, yet strong lips—grazed hers in a tender kiss. It had been way too long since she had felt lips against hers, too long since someone had held her. She wrapped her arm around his neck and joined him in the kiss, pressing into him, her tongue the one that parted their lips and began the dance that tasted him. He turned her so that she was facing him, his hands pressing against her back, pulling her into him. She didn’t resist. Her mind screamed that she should, but her body was too lonely.
Their lips parted and he tasted her neck, his tongue gliding along the curve of her flesh. She tilted her head back, her hair falling down in a curtain against his hand. She didn’t know when he slid a hand under her shirt, but she felt the roughness of his fingers against the smoothness of her stomach, easing its way upward and under her bra. She didn’t fight him. Her body flamed with long-neglected want. She heard herself moan and he took that as an invitation to continue. She didn’t correct him.
She reached down between them and felt his hardness for her. She yanked the button of his pants open, jerking the zipper down. Sliding her hand inside, she gripped his manhood, stroking it. It was thick, solid in her grip and she wanted it. Needed it.
He picked her up and carried her to her bedroom, his mouth continuing its attack on her neck and shoulders. As he laid her down on the comforter, he began to unbutton her shirt, kissing each spot as it was uncovered. He pulled the cups of her bra back and ran his tongue over her swollen nipples, sucking them as he held her breasts in his hands. She gripped his head as her moans echoed off the bedroom walls.
Neither could wait. He stripped down and slid his long, thick body between her legs. “Please,” she moaned, and he was more than eager to obey. With one deep thrust he was inside of her, his hips pounding against hers, the sounds of flesh slapping flesh filling the room. Her cries echoed in her ears, his grunts sending shivers down her back. She gripped him, dug her nails into his back as she felt her body crying out in pleasure. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
He didn’t. She felt the wave of her orgasm cresting and, with an arch of her back, she allowed it to crash against the shore of her soul. Her hands gripped the comforter, squeezing it in her fingers as she cried out. Her body shook, trembling from her release as well as her emotions. She cried out again. “Yes, oh Marc, yes!”
And Vince just stopped. She opened her eyes, wondering what was wrong, and then everything came flooding back in on her. Her pleasure turned to shame and pain as tears burst from her again. Vince slid back onto his calves, kneeling between her legs, which she lifted and closed as she rolled over to her side. He tried to comfort her, but she wouldn’t allow him to touch her. She wanted him to leave and so he did as she remained where she was, curled up in a fetal position, feeling as if she had betrayed everyone in her life.
Jacqui stared at the coffee shop. She had made sure that she had never seen Vince after that day. She had Brent take every meeting she had scheduled with him and then very slowly took him off all projects until she finally bought him out of his own company. She had refused to give him the chance to get close again. Marc deserved better than her, even in death. He deserved her faithfulness, and she was damned well going to give it to him. She threw herself into the foundation after that, losing herself in what Marc began.
She took a deep breath. She wanted to leave before she had even walked inside. Yet, she was stronger now than she was a year ago. She was not the quivering, babbling, broken woman that had given into weakness that night. No. She was Jacqui Karston, CEO of the biggest corporation in Biloxi. She was going to join Vince for coffee if only to prove that she had it all under control.
She stared at the glass doors. But, do I have it under control? Only one way to find out. She took another deep breath, stepping out of the warm April evening and into the air-conditioned coffee house.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Morgan paid the delivery man, tossing in an extra five for a tip, before shutting the door. As the door clicked, Dustin screamed out “Yay!” as he circled around the room in a sprint. Erin stood by the kitchen counter, pouring soda for everyone. As Morgan set the boxes down on the Formica, Dustin jumped up and down beside him. “I want cheese! Did you get me cheese?”
Erin giggled as Morgan tried to get his son to calm down. “Yes, I got you cheese. Of course, I got you cheese. What else would a little squirt like you eat, huh?”
“I love cheese!”
“I never would have guessed.” Erin laughed harder as she leaned on the counter beside the hopping body of Dustin. Morgan could only smile as he watched the others. Erin may not want children, but she always doted on Dustin when the little boy was around, and he always clung to her. For Morgan, it was almost as if he was able to play family for a while, a feeling he missed, even though he would never admit it out loud.
With plates of pizza and cold drinks, they perched themselves in front of the television and watched Toy Story for the hundredth time. The night started with Dustin sitting on the floor, the coffee table his dinner table, as Erin and Morgan sat on the couch. However, halfway through the movie, Dustin left his spot on the floor and slid between them, his hand on his dad’s leg and his head laying on Erin’s knee. Morgan draped his arm along the back of the sofa, his hand toying with Erin’s shoulder. The night couldn’t be more perfect.
By the time Buzz and Woody finished saving the toys and their world was returned to normal, Dustin had fallen asleep, his tiny arms hanging down. “Doesn’t look like the little guy made it.”
Erin laughed. “He fell asleep about thirty minutes ago. We just kept watching the movie.”
“Well, it is Disney.” He scooped Dustin up into his arms. “I’ll put this little guy away and be right back.”
Erin just grinned up at him, a thousand dirty thoughts loaded in that grin. “I’ll be right here.”
Dustin’s night light lit up his room enough that Morgan didn’t need to flip on the overhead lights. He laid the little guy in the bed and pulled the covers up over his tiny torso. As he did, his son stirred, his eyes fluttering open. “Daddy?”
Morgan sat on the bed beside him, tucking the Toy Story comforter up around his arms. “Yes?”
“Are you going to marry Erin?”
Morgan almost choked. “Excuse me?”
“I like her. And you need someone to come home to. I come home to Mommy. You need someone here with you.”
“Well, thank you for thinking of me, but I like it just being you and me.”
“Don’t you get lonely when I’m not here?”
He nodded. “Sometimes, but I have my work to keep me busy, and it wouldn’t be fair to leave someone here while I travel for work.”
Dustin yawned as he settled himself further into his covers. “Okay,” he said, his voice a soft dreamy distance away. “I just don’t want you to be lonely. And I like Erin.”
Morgan leaned down and kissed his son’s forehead. “I like Erin, too, Squirt.”
As he stood in the doorway and stared at his son sleeping the peaceful sleep of children, he couldn’t help but smile at how sweet the conversation had been. He knew he had made some major mistakes in his life, but Dustin wasn’t one of them. Morgan couldn’t imagine his life now without his son. Maybe I’ll name a community center after him, one day.
As he entered the living room again, thoughts of Dustin and community centers quickly floated away as he saw Erin standing in the kitchen, cleaning up after their evening. “You didn’t need to clean up. I’m used to being messy.”
Her laugh was soft and pleasant, high in tone, but musical, not annoying. It made him smile as he moved around the counter and behind her. “You’re used to one person and take out. Do you even use these dishes?”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to his chest. “Sometimes. I mean, Dustin does visit on occasion. He has to eat and if you have seen his room, then you know he is worse than I am in the messy department.”
“Like father like son, I’m sure.” She leaned back against him, her body soft against his firmness.
He turned her where she stood, so that he could look into her eyes. “Well, he does have excellent taste. He did invite you to dinner, didn’t he?”
Snaking her arms around his neck, she just smiled at him. “True. Or perhaps he was just afraid he would starve to death if he didn’t have someone here to help him out.” She giggled slightly as she leaned forward and kissed his nose.
Chuckling, he squeezed her waist. Then he just paused and gazed into her eyes. He had never known how they sparkled so much before, a mischievous twinkle. With a smile on his face, he leaned forward and kissed her, her lips warm and soft against his. She leaned into him, pressing her lips tighter against his. He breathed her in, and he had to admit, he relished the fragrance. He parted her lips with his tongue, twirling it around hers as they imitated with their tongues what they were hoping their bodies would be doing soon. He gripped her tighter with his hands, digging his fingers into her waist as they kissed. Her hands toyed with his hair, her fingers running through it, pulling occasionally.
As they broke the kiss, pulling away from each other slightly, their breathing was heavier, more intense. He grabbed her hand and led her to the back bedroom. She didn’t resist. Pausing at Dustin’s bedroom, he made sure his son was sound asleep before leading Erin into his own room and closing the door. As soon as the door clicked, their hands were reaching for clothes and pulling them off each other as fast as they could. He unclasped her bra and let it slide to the floor as he lowered his lips to her flesh, sucking the hardening nipples into his mouth as he roamed his hands over her back. He flicked his tongue back and forth over the tiny nubs, nibbling slightly, her moans filling his ears.
So did the ring coming from his cell phone.
He groaned as he pulled away. Nothing ever good came from calls on Saturday night. He glanced down at his screen. Jacqui Karston. Great. He slid the button to accept the call with an apologetic look toward Erin. “Morgan here.”
“This is Jacqui Karston. You have to fire Vince Andrews.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Vince had beat her there and was already sitting at a small table tucked back into a corner. She didn’t like the cozy setting, but she wasn’t about to make a fuss about it. Taking a deep breath, she slid into the chair opposite his.
“Thank you for joining me,” he said. His smile was weak and he looked as nervous as she felt. Good. She didn’t want to be the only one uncomfortable.
“My father thought I needed to get out of the house. He wouldn’t cease his nagging until I said yes.” She didn’t care if it sounded as if she was forced into joining him. She had been. She wanted to be back home.
“Well, whatever made you call me, I’m glad. Coffee?” He made to stand up and she nodded. “Still, cream and one sugar?”
She was shocked he remembered, and it made her uneasy. She just gave a weak smile as she nodded again. As he walked off to get their drinks, she just stared at the table. This is so not a good idea. Picking up a napkin he had left on the table, she tore off a piece, rolling it between her index finger and thumb. She kept telling herself to breathe as she inhaled through her nose, trying to calm her nerves.
Before she was able to convince herself to relax, he was back with their drinks. She smiled and offered him a quick, “Thank you.” What on earth are we supposed to talk about? This was a stupid idea.
“So,” he began, “you seem to be doing really well for yourself.” He glanced at the torn napkin but didn’t say anything. “I’ve kept track of most of your ventures. You’ve created a lot of jobs in the area. Put a lot of people to work. You should be proud.”
“Thank you. I’ve been quite lucky in the things I’ve attempted. I have great people working for me who make sure we’re successful.”
He nodded. “The word on the street is that you’re a force to be reckoned with in this city. You haven’t failed at anything you’ve set out to do. Even when your father had his accident, you kept going strong. Others would have stopped, taken time off. You never skipped a beat.”
“My dad says I’m obsessed.”
“Driven would be a better word, I think.” He twirled his cardboard cup in his hands as he smiled at her. “I have to say, you look great. It’s good to see you’re taking care of yourself.”
She shrugged. “I can’t help people if I’m sick.”
“True.” He glanced down at his cup. She felt better knowing he was having trouble making conversation, as well. She didn’t understand why he even asked her out for coffee if he was this nervous. When he glanced back up, his smile was back and his eyes twinkled. Her breath caught in her throat as she remembered how much his eyes twinkled back then. “I’ve missed you,” he said.
She took a deep, sudden breath. “Look, Vince…”
He quickly held a hand up. “No, please, hear me out. I promise, I’m not making a pass at you.” She settled back in her chair and he assumed it was safe to continue. “What happened a year ago was wrong. I was wrong. You were hurting and, instead of being a safe zone for you to grieve, I allowed myself to get caught up in my own emotions and crossed a line.”
“Your own emotions?” She stared at him, her head tilted a little. “What emotions?”
He shrugged, suddenly nervous again. It showed all over his face, in his body language. “Marc and I were best friends for the longest time. When we started our investment company, we were together almost all the time. I was completely shocked when he told me he was bringing someone else in, jealous even, to be honest. Then he brought you around to meet me and I was even more jealous. You were young and beautiful and actually had your head on straight. Up until then, Marc had been the brains of our venture and I was the brawn, so to speak. He put a plan together and I made sure it was carried out. It wasn’t long before you were helping him and you were damn good at what you were doing. I tried to see you as much as possible.” He gave her a sheepish smile. And then he shrugged. “I didn’t get out much and being around you was the closest I was to having someone in my life. I didn’t know that Marc had already impressed you enough to make you his girl. Next thing I know, the two of you announced your engagement and I had never even had a chance to put my hat in the ring.”
She watched as he took a deep breath and fell back into his chair, his hands still around his cup, from which he had yet to take a sip. She wanted to say something but had no idea what. Until the day he had kissed her, Jacqui had no idea that he had feelings of any kind for her. He had always been around, but she thought they were just friends and business partners. She never had a clue that he was carrying a torch for her.
He shrugged. “Then the plane crashed and took Marc and Maggie with it.” He had tears in his eyes he was trying hard to keep from falling. “It sucked what happened and I wish it hadn’t, but after watching you grieve for almost a year, I thought that maybe, just maybe, fate was giving me a second chance.” He held up his hand before she could say anything. “I know it was wrong. Very wrong. And I’m sorry. I should have kept better control. It’s just that I had been in love with you for so long that I allowed my walls to come down and…well…what happened, happened.”
He glanced back up at her, his tears under control. He gave her a small smile as he continued. “You were right to stop seeing me and buy me out of our business. That’s why I didn’t fight you on it. I was ashamed and just sulked away with my tail between my legs.” He leaned forward, his posture more assertive, more confident. “And I would have stayed away except I saw the Maggie Karston Community Center project go through some bid proposals. I saw it as my chance to make amends. To honor my friend and his daughter. I’m not here to make waves. I promise. I won’t lie. I’d love a chance to do things right with you, but my main focus will be the community center.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. What could she say? He had just professed his love for her back then and that even now he wanted a chance with her. She didn’t want a chance. She wanted to be left alone to work. Finally, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, giving herself time to gather her thoughts. “Vince, I’m sorry. I don’t date. I haven’t dated since Marc passed away. I’m sorry if you’ve been waiting all this time to ask me out, but I’m not interested in a relationship—with you or anyone else. I’m sorry.”
He nodded, his face a fallen crest. “I understand. Like I said, my focus is the community center. I won’t say, I don’t hope you change your mind, because I do. However, I can work without crossing lines.”
She tried to give him a smile, but all she really wanted to do was get the hell out of there. If she was nervous before, she was paranoid now. They made idle chitchat from that point on, but Jacqui wasn’t really in the conversation. She found it hard to sit still, anxious to be anywhere but there, alone with Vince. Finally, her coffee was done, and she made a hasty exit. Vince hugged her goodbye, but she kept her body tense and straight.
“Thank you for coming out for coffee. I had fun.” His smile was hopeful, and she didn’t know what to tell him or how to handle the situation. “Hopefully, we can do it again sometime.”
She just wished him goodnight and headed for her car. Once inside her vehicle, she snatched up her cell phone and hit Morgan Brewer’s number. It rang a couple of times before he finally answered. “Morgan here.” He sounded annoyed, but she didn’t care.
“This is Jacqui Karston. You have to fire Vince Andrews.”
“Excuse me?”
“The foreman you hired Friday. You have to let him go. I won’t allow him to work on the community center.”
“And why is that?”
“It doesn’t matter why. It only matters that I want him gone.” She was not going to run the risk of running into Vince again. Morgan had to get rid of him.
“Actually, it does matter. And Vince doesn’t work for you. He works for me. Barbie ran a criminal check on him and found nothing, so unless you have a valid reason as to why he shouldn’t work for us, he’s already been hired, and I can’t just fire him. That’s not how Rutherford operates.”
“Rutherford works for me.”
“Then I suggest you take it up with Neal, and if he tells me to fire Vince, then I’ll fire him, but until then, the man stays.” He sounded irritated, as if she had caught him in the middle of something. “Is there a reason you can give me to fire him?”
“I…I…” She really didn’t want to give Morgan Brewer the details of her history with Vince. Who knew what the man would do with it?
She heard Morgan take a deep breath. “Then he stays. Now, if there isn’t anything else, I will be back tomorrow night and in the office Monday.”
She wanted to scream, demand that he take her seriously, but he was right. She had no real reason to have him fire Vince other than her comfort level. “No, no. That’s fine. I’m sorry to have bothered you on your day off.”
“No problem. See you Monday.”
She dropped her phone into her lap as she took a deep breath. The same old panic she had felt over a year ago welled up within her and she had no one to talk to about it. No one would understand how she felt. Just like back then, she was all alone and it scared her.