FROM THE DRIVER’S seat, Jacqui stared at the front of her house. She wasn’t sure she was ready to be alone in such a big place again. Yet, she knew it was the right thing to do. Her father had endured her nonsense and control long enough. He deserved to be in his own home, surrounded by his possessions and memories, instead of hers.
It wasn’t for his benefit that she had basically kidnapped him. It was for hers. If he returned home, then she would be alone with her memories, memories she was able to keep at bay for two years. A knot formed in her stomach, nausea threatening to overwhelm her, tempting her to change her mind. Tempted, but not persuaded.
With a deep breath, she opened her car door, determined to see her decision carried out. Passing through the doorway, she sought out her father and Sophia. Both were in the kitchen having an afternoon snack. Jacqui smiled at the crumb cake and the smell of fresh coffee that wafted up to her as she walked behind the counter to fix her own cup.
Sophia hopped up from her seat. “I can do for you.” She made to rush over to take the cup from Jacqui, but stopped when Jacqui held her hand up, smiling. With reluctance, Sophia went back to her seat, her hands dry washing each other in her nervousness.
Bert stared at his daughter, his eyes narrowed. “You’re home early.”
Jacqui nodded. “I am. I thought we could have a talk, the three of us.” She finished pouring her coffee, adding two sugars, and then joined them at the table. She pointed to the crumb cake. “Looks delicious. May I have some?”
“Of course, Mrs. Karston.” Sophia reached to slice her a piece.
Jacqui put her hand over Sophia’s, stopping the other woman. “I can cut it, thank you. And please, it’s Jacqui, not Mrs. Karston.”
Her father cocked his head to the side. “Are you dying?”
Jacqui laughed. “No. Why?”
“Because you’re being nice. You don’t do nice.”
Jacqui sliced a piece of the crumb cake, sliding it onto a napkin before pulling it over in front of her. “Well, I plan on changing that.”
“Is that what you intend to talk to us about? To tell us about this sudden transformation?”
“No,” she said. Sophia sat there, not sure what to do or how to behave. She didn’t blame the woman. The last few times they had talked, it had been Jacqui chewing her out for failing to take care of her father according to her standards. It was going to shock her to discover that Jacqui intended to send her to her father’s house with him. “No, my demons are mine to face. You’ll just have to trust me to handle them. What I want to talk to you two about is sending you home.”
His eyes narrowed further. “Sending me home or to a home?”
Jacqui laughed. “To your home. You were right the other day. I have no right to force you to stay here when there is nothing wrong with your house. I’ve talked to Morgan about fixing up the bathroom and other areas to make them handicap accessible and, if Sophia is willing, we can fix the spare bedroom up for her, so that she has a place of her own. She can still take care of you there and you’ll be able to be around your stuff.”
He had his hands wrapped around his coffee mug, which now seemed to consume his attention. “Are you sure you’re ready to be on your own again?” His voice was a whisper, not his usual gruff, argumentative self. With all of his blustering about being kidnapped, he was still concerned about her sanity. She couldn’t believe she had fallen so far.
Jacqui reached out a hand, placing it over his, and squeezing. “I think you’re ready to be on your own again and I’m sure I’ll survive.” She turned to Sophia. “What do you think, Sophia? Would you be willing to take care of my dad at his place as soon as we get the renovations done?”
“I will, but Mrs. Karston, who will take care of you?”
Jacqui smiled at the woman. “I guess it’ll be up to me.”
They talked some more about what would be needed at the house as far as repairs and renovations to make it livable for her father, as well as what Sophia would need to make the transition. She was going to make sure the other woman had whatever she needed in order to take care of her father, lacking nothing. Bert would be able to make some changes to his house, as well. It had been closed up for over a year, so they would need fresh linens and drapes, perhaps some new towels. They would also have to restock the house on all of the fundamentals, like dish soap, laundry detergent, and shower necessities. It was going to be like setting up a brand-new house, but it would be worth it to see her father happy. Besides, they weren’t on any time limit. They could go their own pace and get it done right.
She left Sophia to take care of dinner and her father making lists of what would be needed to begin while she went into her office to catch up on some small items needing her attention before she could ignore the rest. She had taken off early, but there were still things that required her signature as opposed to Lily’s.
Staring out her office window at the river that flowed beside her house, her eyes settled on the dock where she had spent so many nights with her family as the water drifted past. She could already hear the ghosts of the house calling out to her, their memories screaming for her attention. Perhaps it was time to sell the house and start completely from scratch. She still had not been able to bring herself to venture out onto the back patio with all of its luxuries. There was still so much surrounding her that she heard Marc’s voice calling to her and Maggie’s squeals as she played. Her father’s presence helped drown them out, but when he moved back home, she was afraid those voices would once again drive her to a depression she might not be able to overcome.
She picked up a picture frame from the corner of her desk. Marc had his arms wrapped around her and his chin on her shoulder as they stood in front of The Karston Foundation building as the ribbon was cut. His smile called out to her as his eyes caressed her. She placed a hand on the picture, wishing she could touch his face once more. She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes. Two years had passed and yet, she still felt the pain of her loss, the void his absence caused in her life, just as she did that very first day. Her father was right. She had never learned to let go. She couldn’t. She owed Marc her life simply because he had lost his.
And yet, she couldn’t stop thinking about Morgan, or his kiss. It was because of him that she was moving her father back into his own home. It was because of him that she sat down and talked to Lily as more than just her personal assistant. It was because of him that she was going to be all alone with her demons in her home again. Setting the picture frame back on her desk, she stared back out the window, wondering what Morgan was doing right then.
She found herself smiling, thinking of cooking him dinner. Such a silly form of payment. She had no idea what he was up to, but there was no doubt that a womanizer like Morgan Brewer was up to something. Yet, he was willing to help her get her father’s house ready for habitation again. He hadn’t even balked at the task. Probably because she was giving in to his suggestion concerning her father. At least, he didn’t tell her how right he was and how glad he had been that she actually listened to him. She didn’t need his arrogance. Of course, his smirk said it all, with no need for words.
She pushed herself out of her chair, rubbing her hands along her upper arms as she stood by her window, suddenly feeling as if a draft was blowing over her. If she was honest with herself, something she had a hard time being, it seemed, she would admit that what she really wanted was his arms around her, his lips against hers again. Brent was right, and so was Lily. She needed to get out into the world, but how could she betray Marc that way? It just didn’t seem right.
Yet, Marc had been all about living life to its fullest. Wasn’t she betraying his vision for life by not following the promptings of her heart? Her father would think so. Morgan would as well. Life is all about taking chances, he would say. You have to roll the dice once in a while and see where they land. However, was she ready to roll those dice? To take a chance? She wasn’t sure. She was scared. Her structure was her safety net to keep her from losing control again. She was most afraid of that—losing control. The last time it had cost her everything. She was afraid of losing anything else. Anyone else. She didn’t think she could handle it. She wasn’t sure how her father was able to go on after losing her mother to breast cancer. It was the first blow that had made Jacqui quite aware her life could be touched by tragedy, just like everyone else’s. She had held her father while he cried, and then she hid in her room, allowing her grief to pour from her own eyes. Yet, her father grew stronger, after a time. How, she wished she knew. It’s a part of life, Jacqui. It sucks. It hurts like hell and yes, I want to be with her right now. But I can’t. Furthermore, it doesn’t honor your mother’s memory by me sitting around moping all damn day. I honor her with the way I choose to continue living. I refuse to be a walking corpse until my Maker decides it’s time to call me home. There’s still plenty to live for, such as you.
She wasn’t living. She was merely existing. Morgan was right. She had done a lot of good for a lot of people, but none for herself. It was time to fix that. It was time for Jacqui Karston to start living and it was going to begin with fixing Morgan dinner.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dustin leaped from the back of the sofa and flung himself at his father’s back, his boyish scream alerting Morgan to stop whatever he was doing and catch his son. The four-year-old had no fear, trusting that his father would always be there to catch him. It was that trust that caused Morgan to rethink the way he was living his life.
Dustin laughed as he swung on his father’s back. Morgan couldn’t help but get caught up in the laughter. Reaching behind him, he grabbed Dustin’s legs, pulling the little boy around while growling as he leaned down and pretended to eat his son’s belly. The little boy just wiggled as he squealed in his daddy’s arms.
Once Jeannie had left, Morgan finished a couple of quick tasks and then left for the day. They grabbed some ice cream and then he took Dustin to see his new room at Daddy’s. Standing in the doorway of his son’s room, his arms across his chest as he leaned on the door frame, Morgan absorbed the giddiness of the little guy as he ran around his room, touching everything. He loved the race car curtains and matching bedspread, immediately leaping up on the bed and jumping up and down until his father tackled him and it turned into a tickling match. When Morgan finally found himself winded, he showed Dustin the new toy cars and set him in front of the television. That didn’t last long as now the little boy swung from his daddy’s neck.
Laughing, Morgan plunked Dustin down on the sofa, dropping down beside him. “What are we having for lunch, Squirt?”
“Pizza!” Tiny arms shot into the air as his cry for his favorite food bounced off the walls.
Morgan laughed harder. “I just knew you were going to say that.”
Picking up his cell phone, Morgan dialed the local pizza place, the number already having been used a few times since his arrival, and ordered a half-cheese, half-meats. Dustin played with his Hot Wheels cars while the Disney Channel went through its afternoon programming. Picking up the lukewarm cup of coffee sitting on the counter, Morgan watched his son playing on the coffee table, his little eyes bouncing back and forth between the cars and the television. He was going to miss having Dustin so readily there for visits. His son was the highlight of his life.
So, why was he even toying with the idea of getting involved with a woman nine hours away from Dustin? He didn’t intend to move to Biloxi. This was a temporary job and then he would be back in charge of the Central Florida offices again, visiting his son every other weekend. He shouldn’t be attempting to gain Jacqui’s attention. It wasn’t fair to her when he had no intention of staying around.
He let out a soft sigh. Yet, he couldn’t get her out of his head. It was as if each time he forced her to open up, to change something about herself that had been bottled up inside, he grew to care more and more for her. He wanted to see her happy, to watch her face light up with joy, which made her eyes sparkle. He found himself smiling as he thought of her eyes. They even sparkled when she was frustrated at him, which was almost daily. She had been so cold towards life when he first arrived and was only just now beginning to melt her frosty exterior and allow the warmth of her heart to burn through. She was finally taking a chance on things and it was all because of his prodding, he knew, but she really didn’t need to take a chance on him since he was leaving in two months.
But did he want to leave? He thought back to his conversation with Dustin a couple of weeks ago in Orlando.
“Are you going to marry Erin?”
Morgan almost choked. “Excuse me?”
“I like her. And you need someone to come home to. I come home to Mommy. You need someone here with you.”
“Well, thank you for thinking of me, but I like it just being you and me.”
“Don’t you get lonely when I’m not here?”
He nodded. “Sometimes, but I have my work to keep me busy and it wouldn’t be fair to leave someone here while I travel for work.”
Dustin yawned as he settled himself further into his covers. “Okay,” he said, his voice a soft dreamy distance away. “I just don’t want you to be lonely. And I like Erin.”
Morgan leaned down and kissed his son’s forehead. “I like Erin too, Squirt.”
And he did like Erin, just not enough to marry her. Erin had always said she wasn’t the marrying kind of woman and he was fine with that. After two failed marriages, he had decided he wasn’t the marrying kind of guy. Yet, Jacqui made him want to be a better person and being that better person meant being there for his son no matter what. He would just have to keep his chase of Jacqui a never-ending game. The better person in him did not want to see her get hurt.
His cell phone rang, vibrating against the Formica counter. Think of the woman and she calls. Picking up his phone, he swiped the screen to answer it. “Hey there. Needing me to fire someone else on my staff?”
“Huh? Oh, no.” He heard her take a deep breath. Why he had to push her buttons, he didn’t really know, but it was fun getting some type of reaction out of her. Okay, he did know why he did it. He loved seeing her flustered a little. “You said the payment was my cooking you dinner and I know you have your son with you this weekend, but I was wondering if you would like to come over tomorrow night and collect your payment.” He found himself smiling and was just about to make a comment when she must have realized how her statement sounded. “Of me cooking you dinner. That payment.”
He laughed, picturing her blush on the other end of the phone. “Well, usually I don’t make people pay me until the job’s done, but I’m sure Dustin would much prefer your cooking over his father’s microwaved macaroni and cheese. What time would you like us there?”
“We can eat at six, so perhaps five-thirty? I don’t know what your son’s bedtime is. Is that early enough?”
He found himself smiling at her consideration of Dustin. “That sounds perfect. I’ll bring the wine and the juice boxes.”
“The juice….oh, for your son. Right. Well then, I will see you at five-thirty.”
He could hear her nervousness through the phone. Picturing her lips against the receiver, he remembered what they felt like pressed against his. Even though he knew it could never go anywhere, he really wanted to taste those lips again. Hell, he wanted to taste her. “We’ll be there. Thanks.”
She said goodbye and he could hear the smile in her voice. Glancing at the phone as he hit the END button, he felt the flutter in his chest. He really didn’t think she would follow through on the meal. From what he gathered, Jacqui Karston didn’t cook. Tomorrow night should be interesting to say the least.
His doorbell sounded and Dustin leaped from the sofa, arms shoved into the air as he bellowed, “Pizza!”