Natalie knocks on the bathroom door repeatedly, fear in her voice, but I splash water on my face and stare down at my right hand. It’s red and already bubbling like a blister. The shape of it mirrors the scars from our pacts on my left hand. I don’t know why I’m here. I miss Jasmine, but this? I can’t do this. I’ll have to try to convince Mili to grieve and move on so we all can. None of us should ever have to sit through a séance again. I say a silent prayer to God, asking for forgiveness and to show me a way out of this. Then Lindy knocks on the door.
“We’re leaving.” Her voice sounds like her own again, but somehow that’s scarier.
No one questions where we’re going. No one talks to Lindy. For most of the drive, she watches me through her rearview mirror, and the black rosary beads hanging from it catch my attention. I’m surprised to see them after the séance. Even though I know Mili’s papa was raised Catholic, it’s as if my brain can’t make sense of his daughter Lindy following the religious traditions. I keep seeing her glossy eyes, hearing her haunting words in my head. She pulls in front of CVS and gets out.
Miliani turns in the passenger seat to study me. “What happened to you back there?” There’s a slight edge in her tone. “Was it your anxiety?”
“No,” I say, massaging my right palm with my cut thumb. “The crystal burned me.”
“Well, it didn’t burn the rest of us. You couldn’t keep it together for Jas’s sake? It’s bad enough we’re working slow. The days are disappearing. And now we can’t even talk to her.”
“Are you really questioning me after what we saw?” I hold up my hand.
Natalie takes it in her own. “Shit, Inez.”
Miliani’s mouth droops as she looks too. “Sorry,” she mutters.
“You should be,” Natalie says. “You ran bullshit on us, and your aunt wasn’t even prepared for a séance. Maybe you’re the reason she became possessed.”
“She…” Mili stops, shakes her head. “She was letting them speak through her.”
“Possessed,” I say, repeating Nat’s word. “This was a bad idea. We don’t know what kind of dark spirits she may have unleashed on us in there. She probably made things worse.”
Mili fixes a look on us. “I’m sorry for lying, but you both were hesitating—when Jasmine needs us. Auntie was trying to help with that. Don’t be dramatic.”
Natalie doesn’t care. “Dramatic? She hasn’t even wiped our blood from her forehead.”
Right when she says it, Lindy comes out of CVS. What did the cashiers think when they saw her like this? She gets in and puts a brown paper bag on the console.
On the ride back, she does a vague job of telling us what happened. “The spirits aren’t here to harm you. They’re trying to get a hold on this side without being anchored. I told them this was foolish, but that won’t stop them from trying.”
Natalie cuts her eyes at Lindy. “Was that before or after they took control of you?”
“I never lost control,” Lindy says, but her voice falters. “How will you ever open the realms enough to anchor your friend if you can’t handle a séance?”
“Séances require possession now, or…?”
Lindy’s voice tilts into something like amusement. “Are you upset the spirits were implying you weren’t friends with Jasmine, or are you upset with me?”
This shuts Natalie up. I open my mouth to defend her, but Miliani turns around. “What was that about anyway?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Nat says, but Mili presses till she cracks. “Things were different before Jas died. I know you remember. Let’s not act like Jas and I were good.”
Mili looks confused. “But she was still your friend.”
“I know that.” Nat leans forward. “And what about you? What are you keeping from us?”
Miliani’s eyebrows knit together. “Nothing. I don’t know what that was about.”
“Oh,” I say, finally finding my voice but still not wanting to speak around Lindy. “So Nat has to answer right now, but you get to keep shut?”
Lindy throws a quick glance at Mili, who sinks in her seat. A whole minute must go by before Mili sighs. “I told Jas I was in love with her, and … she said it back, but she died that night.”
My stomach drops hearing it. The tension leaves my body, but Mili wraps her arms around herself. I wonder how it all went down. If they planned to be together. Suddenly, I feel guilty for pressing Mili to talk to Isobel. I want to pull her close, but not with creepy Lindy watching.
“Damn.” Natalie runs a hand over her own face before she sits back.
Lindy clears her throat. “Now that you’re all done with your sharing circle and I don’t have to suffer through teen angst, you should all proceed with the spell work. Some of the spirits just like to have a bit of fun.”
I gingerly flex my blistered hand. “How did they know things? About us?”
Lindy shrugs. “It must be a combination of them watching you, and…”
“And what?”
“And maybe they tapped into my mind.”
“So they used your … your abilities to read our minds?” Natalie and I share a look, and then Nat inches closer to me. But Lindy doesn’t answer. I hope she’s ashamed. I open the window to let the air in. Maybe it’ll make it easier for me to breathe with her sitting this close to me.
Mili doesn’t seem shaken by her aunt’s revelation, but her voice quavers asking if Jas made contact. When Lindy says the connection broke too soon to find out, Mili pulls her hoodie over her head and doesn’t look at us for the rest of the ride. I know she blames me, but it’s hard to feel guilty for being the one to break the séance connection when I’m worried we did it at all.
We pull up in front of Lindy’s house, and she looks in her rearview at me and Nat. “Don’t run scared.”
What she doesn’t know is that my mind is already miles from here, praying with Mami, even listening to Father John in church, but Mili speaks for all of us. “We won’t.”
I want to slap some sense into her. How does she expect us to be okay with knowing spirits are watching, and waiting for the opportunity to be able to come through? My hand still stings. I don’t care what Lindy claims; they must want to hurt us.
“Let’s go upstairs,” Lindy says. I shake my head, but she uses her weird mind-reading tricks. “We won’t even talk about spirits, Inez. I have something to do, then I’ll drive you all home after.” I don’t believe her, but I remember the two buses it’ll take to get to the South Side and feel queasy. Walking home from the bus stop alone after the séance wouldn’t be fun, either.
Lindy’s offer makes me uneasy, but maybe it’s better than the latter.
Upstairs, she makes us tea with a hint of peppermint, and we sit on her stools at the table. We sip the tea quietly. It doesn’t taste bad, and soothes the ache in my stomach. I flinch when Lindy reaches for my hand, but her touch is soft. She opens up a small tin and rubs salve on the burn. I can feel it cooling while she stands to retrieve the CVS bag from the counter.
“I’ve never had to do this. I don’t have any kids. My siblings are older than me. There aren’t people in my life I’d care about telling if I knew. But with the confirmation from the séance, I think it’s the responsible thing for me to do.”
Miliani laughs a little. “Auntie, what are you talking about? Are you okay?”
“I’m perfectly fine,” Lindy says, and slides the bag across the table toward me. “But I can’t say the same for you, Inez.”
Something churns in my stomach again, but this time a wave of nausea hits. Why is Lindy paying so much attention to me? Is this some kind of punishment for dropping the crystal? Goose bumps rise on my skin, but I open the bag carefully and look inside.
It’s a pregnancy test.