Back at school on Monday, I can’t make it through class without running to the bathroom when the nausea hits. Both stalls are taken. I swallow the bile in my throat. A toilet flushes, but it’s too late. I throw up in the sink. The stall door opens, and with my luck, it’s Darleny.
She washes her hands and makes a face from the smell. “Are you pregnant?”
“No,” I say. “And if I was, I’m not sure why you’d think to ask me.”
She laughs. “What a polite way to tell me to mind my business, Inez. Jas always said you were timid.”
Her words sting. Darleny knows a side of Jas none of us do. I wonder how much Jas used to talk about us. My feelings subside when I realize Darleny might know if the crystal Jas gave me in my dream is real. But then she pulls some paper towels from the dispenser. “You might want to clean your shirt up. Before it starts to stink like your breath.”
Wearing Miliani’s hoodie is better than smelling like throw-up all day, but she’s small and it’s snug around my neck. She worries Darleny will tell someone. I joke about casting a memory-wipe spell, and Mili quietly considers it.
“I was thinking,” she finally says, “we should go to the hospital soon. To get an ultrasound.”
“Some people don’t see a doctor their whole pregnancy, and they’re perfectly fine,” I say. But if I am going to continue this pregnancy, it would be smart to know how it’s going. And if I’m not, then I’ll definitely need to see a doctor soon.
Mili shakes her head and opens her mouth, but I interrupt because I want to talk about what happened the other night again. I’ve heard of sleep paralysis before, but this was something else. “A spirit was trying to enter my body. What if they’re successful next time?” It’s hard to still my voice. “And does that mean we’ll be able to do the anchoring soon?”
“I hope so,” she says. “I’ve barely made any contact lately. And we’re running out of time.”
This annoys me. Mili should be the one fending off the spirits while I try to sleep. “Well, we should find the necklace Jas was wearing then. She said it would protect me.”
Mili’s eyes narrow. “Real Jas didn’t say anything; it was a dream.”
I pretend she’s not looking at me like she wants to take my head off, and open a notebook to draw the necklace the best I can. I’ve never been much of an artist—the crystal looks more like a blob—but Miliani doesn’t insult me.
“Do you remember it? I think it was an obsidian.”
“Hmm.” She looks at my kindergarten-style drawing again. “Jasmine didn’t take to obsidian crystals, said she liked to deal with drama as it came. They made her feel like she was in a bubble. And she liked to keep her crystals in a pouch in her pocket.”
She’s right. Obsidian is mostly used to block out negative energy, but it’s also a truth-telling crystal. Jasmine was an honest person, but honest on her terms. She liked her anonymity in certain situations—only choosing to tell people what she wanted them to know, when she wanted them to know it. So she wouldn’t wear an obsidian. She wouldn’t give up her privacy by choice.
“It felt so real,” I say. “I’m thinking she wanted me to have it to keep away whatever was in my room the other night.”
“I talked to my auntie about that. She said we should make some salt jars for protection.”
“We can do that, but I want the necklace, Mili. It’s real. I can feel it. Maybe it’s important for the ritual, and she’s trying to send us a sign. Will you and Nat check her house soon?” Mili reminds me that last time she was there, Darleny looked like she wanted to beat her ass. I pout and beg some more. “Please. I’d do it, but after the bathroom incident, I should avoid Darleny at all costs before she starts spreading rumors.”
Mili finally sighs.
“You’re a good friend,” I tell her.
“Suddenly.”
“You’re always a good friend.” I bat my eyelashes. “Even when you’re overbearing.”
“I’m never overbearing,” she says. “But if we do this, you need to go to a doctor.”
I stare down at my drawing. “If you do this, we can discuss how we’d go about getting me checked without my mom finding out.”
“Fair enough.”
Most of the school day is spent with me avoiding eyes, trying not to assume every whisper is about me. Darleny and her friends are huddled outside the principal’s office before lunch. When I walk by her, she asks, “How you doing, Inez?” in a sarcastic tone. A couple of her friend’s cackle, and my stomach drops. They all must know. Soon, everyone will know. Will the principal be calling me into his office with the counselor? Will they want to speak with Mami? My chest starts to hurt, but then I feel a cool hand grab mine and I know it’s Natalie’s.
“Don’t let her get to you. She doesn’t know shit.” She’s right. Darleny doesn’t know anything right now, but if I don’t get an abortion, how soon will my stomach start to expand? How long will it take for everyone to find out that I’m going to be a teenage mother?
I cling to Natalie a little harder on the way to the cafeteria.