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I went back to the dorms, grateful to find most of the other female trainees resting or meditating. It only took a moment to slip a fresh set of clothes out of my bag and slip into the back. Come what may, I planned to be clean and in fresh clothes. The shower was heavenly, and I felt so fresh and new that I braved the dining hall next. A wave of nerves passed over me as I sat and I barely managed to swallow down two bites of roast chicken and some water. At least the rest of my wave was just as consumed with what came next. They barely noticed that I was there at all.
Around us, Dragon School carried on. Chuckles and smiles from the other tables and loud conversation, occasionally broken up by the sober expression of one of the Grandis made everyone else seem indifferent to our plight. But no wonder. Hadn’t they all done the very same thing we were about to do and lived to tell about it?
I slipped out of the dining hall early, grateful for the cool breeze against my sweaty brow. I hadn’t expected to be so nervous, but it was eating at me. The bell rang and a new kind of fear stabbed through me. I needed to be up top as quickly as the others but I didn’t have the time to get there and now the bell was ringing!
I sped towards the stairs, painfully aware that trainees beside me were easily passing me at only an average walking speed. I bit my lip. If I was late, all was lost – for Raolcan and me, at least.
What was that down the path? Was that what I thought it was? A lift on cables and pulleys sat beside the kitchen, loaded with a pair of crates still to be unloaded. Over the edge of the crate, I saw eggs packed in straw. It would be a simple enough thing to move the light crates off and stand on the lift myself, but to sway on an unstable lift hundreds of yards above the ground and with no way to get down if things went wrong – could I even do it?
There was no time to lose. I hurried over, dragged the crates off, thankful that they were light enough for me to move and then crawled onto the wooden bench suspended between two cables. My stomach fluttered as the plank swayed under my weight, but I gripped the cable attached to the pulley, jammed my crutch between my good thigh and the bench and wrapped that leg tightly around the board while the other hung dead on the other side. It was now or never. I hauled hard on the cable, my shoulders screaming with the effort, but the board shot upwards, the pulleys easily magnifying my efforts. It was easy to draw the rope through so I was able to pull hand over hand all the way up from the dining hall level to topside.
A silver whistle greeted me as, huffing and exhausted, I pulled myself off the swaying board and onto the firm rock. It felt good to grip the rock and know it was firm under my hands and knees. I needed a cold drink of water and a chance to lie down, but then I would miss my opportunity. Gritting my teeth against nausea and nerves, I hauled up on my crutch and fell in behind Tamas who was last in line.
“Best wishes on your bonding,” I said to him. There was no need to hold a grudge for his distant behavior. We could still be friends. He didn’t reply, but maybe it was just nerves. We were all nervous, weren’t we?
“Welcome,” Grandis Dantriet’s words rang out over the cliffside. The sun hung low in the sky, painting his white braids and loose hair an orangey hue that suited him. “We gather for bonding between dragon and rider trainee. This is your last chance to bow out of your commitment to the dragon you chose. Do any of you chose to take that option now?”
My hands shook as everyone looked back at me. They just assumed that I would crack now that the pressure was on. Why did they think that I wasn’t up to the task? Was a ruined leg really enough to destroy your entire future? I didn’t think it should be. I stiffened my shoulders and held my head high. No flinching from Amel Leafbrought. If they thought I wasn’t worthy then I would just have to show them all that they were wrong about me.
Like a bag of grain falling open and spilling on the ground, Tamas fell to his knees in front of me, head in his hands.
“I can’t do it. I thought I could but I can’t.” His tone sounded strange – like it didn’t even belong to him.
“Don’t give up now,” I whispered. If he could just make it through these two tests he’d have gotten past the hardest part. He just needed a bit more encouragement.
He craned his head back to glare at me, his fingers gripping into the dust on the ground like claws. I gasped at his dark expression. “Shut up, cripple. We all know you aren’t going to make it out of this alive. Stop fooling yourself. I won’t be an idiot like you.” He turned his gaze back to the rest of them. “I know my place. I should never have tried to rise above it.”
Grandis Dantriet raised a hand, cutting off comments muttered throughout the group. “The purpose of this ritual warning is for those like Tamas who learn this is not the life for them. Go with our blessing, Tamas. Return to the servants’ quarters. Are there any others?”
All eyes were fixed on me as Tamas strode away to the ladders. I felt my face grow hot but as the seconds stretched to minutes, I refused to crumble under their gazes. I wasn’t going to give in. They’d all have to watch me fail or succeed on my own effort. I bit my lip and willed myself to be steadfast.
“Very well.” Grandis Dantriet scanned our ranks, as if counting us and then gestured to the stands behind him. “Behind these stands, your dragons are arrayed. Our Binder, Grandis Echomeyer, is with them. You will each be bound by magic to your dragon. This gentles them to your touch. They may not listen to your commands, but your own dragon can no longer maim or kill you. Be careful of all other dragons in these stables. Only your bonded dragon is bound to keep from harming you. You will also be bound against harming him. It is the way of the Dragon Riders. Our bonds are sacred and revered. So let it be for the ages.”
“So let it be for the ages,” the trainees around me replied. Another thing borrowed from the nobles that I knew nothing about, I supposed.
We followed him around the seating area in the ragged line we were in. With every step, my heart hammered louder. Was I making the right choice? I desperately wanted to be a Dragon Rider – it was all I could do to keep images of delivering messages on the back of a grand purple dragon from flooding my mind – but what if it was bad for Raolcan? It was bad enough that he was a slave here. Was I making things worse by choosing him? He’d been cagey when I asked him, unwilling to say one way or the other. Should I have pushed him harder, or was it best simply to take him at his word that this bond was best for him?
As we followed the line of dragons, the trainees peeled off to where their dragon stood. Savette seemed almost to skip towards her red dragon and off toward the end I saw someone leading a green dragon away – Tamas’ dragon. I felt a pang at the thought of him kneeling in the dust, giving up his whole future. He didn’t need to do that. He shouldn’t have done it just because the other students doubted us. I wished I had the chance to tell him that. Maybe I should have been out there helping people be brave this afternoon instead of sleeping in Raolcan’s stable and then watching Leng ride off to the horizon. I swallowed back worry and tried to focus on what was ahead. Raolcan? Where are you?
Wait, was that him? Why was he so silent? I didn’t hear him in my mind at all. Something wasn’t right. It made me feel strange and lonely – like a butterfly on a snowy field. Was he angry? Was he silent in his anger? His golden gaze fixed on mine as if he was trying to communicate silently, but that was just silly. After all, if he wanted to speak to me mind to mind he easily could. I cleared my throat, suddenly uncertain.
I waited as Grandis Echomeyer and Grandis Dantriet worked their way slowly back down the line in the gathering dark. We were stretched too far apart to see what they were doing with each trainee before us. I was almost startled when they finally found me in the dark. Two servants held torches beside the Grandis, outlining everything in dancing orange hues.
“Amel Leafbrought?” Grandis Dantriet said as if he didn’t already know it was me.
“Yes.” My voice shook a little.
“This is the dragon you chose, Raolcan the Purple?”
“Yes.” My voice was clearer now.
“Do you choose to bind with this dragon and be his rider?” Grandis Echomeyer asked. He was slender like all Dragon Riders but stooped with age and his skin was yellowed and sagging.
“Yes.”
“Hold out your hand.” His eyes went still, like he’d retreated to another world and then heat flared in my wrist.
I yelped and drew it back at the same moment that Raolcan snorted, flames gouting out of his nostrils. He missed us, but his continued silence cut deep. Was he angry at me? Was I making the right choice?
A bright white stylized feather appeared on my wrist, and I saw the same feather burning brightly in the twilight against Raolcan’s wing. We were marked with an identical sign. I stared at mine in wonder as it faded into a dull glow.
“Different every time.” Grandis Echomeyer seemed to beam with pride.
“We’re the only ones with this sign?” I liked that, though I still feared Raolcan’s silence.
“Yes. Each pair has its own. The magic determines it. You’re bound now, and he’s gentled to you. Treat him well.”
It seemed so informal – so basic – for such an important moment. My eyes went wide with surprise and I would have remained stunned if Grandis Dantriet’s voice hadn’t broken into my wonder.
“You may write your vote for First Rider now and place it in the jar.”
“I don’t choose to vote.” I was proud of how clear my voice was.
His eyebrows rose. “You realize that it could be you.”
I barked a laugh so suddenly that I surprised myself. “Of course, it will be me. That’s who everyone else is voting for. I’ve decided not to make anyone else feel the way I do, with my name on the paper.”
“The duty of First Rider is a great honor.” His expression was unreadable. “So let it be.”
I wasn’t surprised when all the rituals were complete and Grandis announced firmly that the vote was unanimous - I would be First Rider the next day. I wasn’t surprised when they all trooped away, leaving me to hobble back in their wake. What surprised me – worried me – was the silence from Raolcan. It was like a wind had been blowing for days and was still now. I felt completely abandoned, alone and bereft at his missing voice, and worst of all I feared what it meant for that first flight.