CHAPTER EIGHT

 

 

“Kali!” the group of girls squeal as they rush over to us.

They circle me excitedly, effectively blocking me from Grayson and him from me. I can’t even offer him any explanation right now, even though my head is spinning so much I don’t think I’d be able to do much explaining anyway. I clutch George’s leash tightly, thankful that my pup is social and friendly. I’ve never gotten flanked like this with him around before. My fur baby presses against my legs, trying to hide while uncertainly appraising the girls barraging me with question after question, followed by more questions.

The second the Glammers approach, my whole persona shifts into business mode. It’s like a light switch flicking on. Running on instinct alone, my practiced G&G grin lights my face, my shoulders automatically straighten, and I smooth a hand over my yellow blouse to make sure it’s still perfectly in place. Despite my polished presence, inside, my heart is sinking like a rock. All I can think about is what must be running through Grayson’s head.

Judging by his bewildered and concerned expression, he isn’t happy.

“Kali, Kali!” the girls chant before jumping into their questions.

“Who’s the guy?”

“Is he going to be on your channel?”

“That picture Sutton posted the other day of you, her, and Liv on the beach was so cute! Where’d you get your swimsuit?”

“Can you give us a shout out the next time you’re live on Insta?”

“We saw you have two million followers now! That’s amazing! How do I get that many?”

“Is it hard to start a beauty business?”

“Can we take selfies with you and Georgie?”

To be honest, I hardly hear any of their questions. Mostly because I’m too busy trying to hastily put together some sort of apology script for Grayson once I’m able to pull away from the G&G fans. Unfortunately, it’s not really like I can tell them that now isn’t the best time for selfies. Interacting with eager fans is a necessary part of being an influencer. If I get testy with them, I could sink the whole G&G ship.

“Of course, Glammers!” I gush, imitating Sutton’s cheerful, zealous tone as best as I can. She seems to soak up every second in the spotlight and I need a bit of her self-assurance right now. “I’d love to take some pics with you, but then I’ve got to head out. The girls and I have so many super exciting things planned for our Glammers over the next few months that I need to get back to work on them.”

I cast a glance at Grayson, whose arms are folded over his chest. His dark brows draw together over his nose, almost meeting in the middle, he’s frowning so hard.

I clear my throat loudly and try to keep my smile in its perfect place. “Also, my friend over there doesn’t like to be on social media. Do you think we can keep him out of the pics for now?”

The girls look longingly at Grayson, but thankfully, they’re so happy to see me and George in real life that they don’t waste any time worrying over him. Once they get their fill of selfies, hugs—and George—they retreat. For the moment at least.

Grayson walks over to stand beside me, absently reaching down to give George a pat when he nudges his hand with his wet nose.

“I guess we should leave while we have the chance,” Grayson mumbles once we’re alone again, obviously noting that we’re still being closely watched. “Before they start taking more pictures.”

He pulls out his wallet, taking out enough to cover the burgers and shakes we didn’t get to finish as well as George’s meal, then adds a generous tip before we make our escape.

We head back to Grayson’s car in silence. The entire walk there, my body feels like it weighs ten thousand pounds. Every step takes a concentrated measure of effort. Grayson, who’d been so chatty and warm earlier, has gone ice cold. It’s not like I can blame him. We had a wild pack of Glammers descend on us like vultures hungry for a snack.

How can I fix this?

Can I even fix this?

“Kali,” he begins at the same time I hesitantly whisper, “Grayson.”

We both go quiet, staring at one another. I let out a soft, feeble laugh, hoping it will make him smile at least a little bit, but there isn’t much amusement in his handsome features.

“What was that about back there?” he asks quietly, jerking his chin toward Franco’s. There’s a grimness to his voice that sets my teeth on edge. “It was like those girls spotted a celebrity. Have you done makeup for a Hollywood star or something?”

Sensing the growing tension between the sexy lawyer and me, George gives a quiet whine. He licks my hand and nervously wags his tail until Grayson caresses his ears. It’s only then that George relaxes, and I’m glad that at least my puppy is finding comfort right now.

My mind races as I try to figure out how to explain what just happened. “Those girls probably just thought George was cute…”

I trail off, losing the energy to deceive Grayson again. I’ve already lied about my career, and now I’m only digging the hole deeper.

Besides, I can tell by his face that he knows there’s more to it than that.

I want more than anything to go back to when Grayson and I were having a nice, sweet, deep conversation about our lives over burgers, fries, and shakes. That connection we had sitting there at the table in Franco’s was real. But I guess this is real, too. It’s hard, but it’s real.

Not everything can be simple, can it?

Biting my lip hard, I run a hand through my hair and shake my head. It’s time to stop being so secretive. Grayson deserves to hear the whole truth about my career.

“I’m an influencer, Grayson,” I say with a sigh. “My two friends and I have a beauty brand that we run on YouTube and social media. Actually, we’re pretty famous—like, really famous.”

He nods and leans back against the side of his car, then stares down at his feet, idly watching a few golden grains of sand get tossed in the breeze. I brace myself for what I’m sure will be an uncomfortable conversation once he’s soaked in the truth.

To my surprise, Grayson doesn’t question why I lied. He doesn’t get mad or irritated. He doesn’t accuse me of being sneaky or even vain. I almost want him to be angry because that would assuage my guilt, but he won’t even let me have that.

What he does say is just as heart-wrenching, however, only in a different way.

“Getting recognized must be pretty ordinary then, huh?” he asks.

I nod.

He considers that. “It must be difficult knowing that everywhere you go, people expect you to be who they’ve seen on their phones and computer screens. That pressure must be intense. I’m not surprised you didn’t tell me right from the beginning.”

I blink.

Here Grayson is, finding out that I’ve been hiding part of my identity, and he’s more concerned with my feelings.

He really is one of a kind.

I offer him a small smile. “Actually, when you and I met, I was running late for some meetings and a group of fans noticed me. I ducked into the library to get away from them and when you didn’t know who I was…” I shrug apologetically. “It felt amazing to have a chance to be myself.”

Grayson nods again. He inhales slowly, and when he does, I can hear resignation in the heavy breath. I already know what he’s going to say next—and that it’s going to devastate me.

His brown eyes, now somber and defeated, continue to pierce mine.

Please don’t say it, I silently beg him even as he opens his mouth to speak.

“Kali, I think you’re amazing.” As always, his rich voice is steeped in sincerity. Any other time, those words would’ve made me soar through the evening sky, but right now, it makes me want to melt into a puddle of sadness. The hot air balloon in my heart has definitely popped. “It’s just… You know the pressure I’m facing with my own career. In fact, you probably know it all too well. One wrong photo that a client or employer sees when they look me up online and I’d be done. I’ve had to fight so hard already…”

His voice cracks a little and he immediately falls silent, choosing instead to dig his hands into his pockets.

Listening to Grayson speak, I wish more than anything that I didn’t understand where he was coming from. I wish I could tell myself that he’s being ridiculous and selfish and mean. But the truth is, I do know those fears because I live with them, too.

Hot tears fill my eyes. I blink hard, trying to stave them off so that I don’t make this moment even more horrible by crying.

Grayson’s jaw clenches and he reaches his hand out toward me like he wants to wipe the tears from my cheeks, but then he freezes. He’s so close that I can feel the heat of his fingers against my skin, but he doesn’t touch me. I’m actually kind of grateful for that, because if he did, there was no way I’d be able to hold back these damn tears.

“Let me drive you and George home,” he offers, dropping his hand. “It’s the least I can do. I want to make sure both of you get home safely.”

“No!” I say a little too loudly. “I mean, thanks, but no.”

Grip tight on George’s leash, I step away from Grayson. The last thing I want is to sit down in that car with him, not because I want this date to end, but because I don’t want his final memory to be of me hunched in that seat with my face buried in George’s neck and tears smearing my makeup down my cheeks.

“Sutton and Liv will come to get me,” I add softly.

Before he can insist, I pull my phone out of my purse and shoot a short, simple message to the private group chat already set up between my besties and me. It’s a single word—911. A split second later, my phone is flooded with responses from Sutton and Liv, as well as confirmation that they’re already jumping in the car to come rescue me.

I lift my head, forcing a smile, but Grayson doesn’t mirror the expression.

“You don’t have to do that, Kali,” he says quietly, sadly. “You don’t always have to smile even when you don’t want to.”

I don’t say anything.

I can’t.

Because if I do, I’ll start crying for sure.

And once a single tear falls, more will follow, and they won’t stop.

All I can do is stand there and watch the man of my dreams get in his car and drive away.