A Proposal

When I came to breakfast in the morning, Mr Fairfax informed me that the Master had left early to visit a part of his estates that lay some way off, and was not expected back before evening, and might well stay over if the business proved protracted. In the event, I did not see him again until the afternoon of the following day, when I came across him sitting in the garden, reading. He asked me how I was and I replied that I was well. He persuaded me to sit by him and talked for a minute of trivialities, the flowers, the weather, how it threatened rain perhaps, anything but that which was uppermost in my mind, and I thought, from his preoccupied look, in his too, our congress of that evening, and how we were to relate to one another now. Suddenly he changed, as if having taken a decision.

"Jane," he said, "come to my side. Be my companion and best self."

I was torn between obedience and the belief that he intended to wed Miss Ingram, and I could be no more than a kept woman. But would that not be enough? Was it not the height of submission to be an unwed slave? But I could not overcome my training and shrank from him, while he held my wrists fast, and drew me closer.

"I cannot Sir," I wailed. "You will have a bride, and there would be no room for me beside Miss Ingram."

"Miss Ingram shall never be my bride," he declared. "I do not love her, and she has no affection for me now."

It was as music to my ears, if I could only believe it, but I was still incredulous and would not answer him, writhing still in his grip.

"Do you doubt me Jane?"

"Entirely."

"You have no faith in me?"

"Not a whit."

"Ah Jane, you strange thing. I could not, would not, marry Miss Ingram. You, poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are, I entreat you to take me as your husband."

"What me?" I cried, beginning by his earnestness, and especially his incivility, to credit him.

"Yes you. I must have you for my own, entirely my own. Say yes quickly."

So I said yes, for I could do no other, my poor sense entirely overcome by longing and a nature that longed to submit. As we sealed the bargain with a kiss, the heavens, that had, all unobserved by us, so deeply were we involved in our own affairs, built great purple columns of menacing clouds, opened with a crash of thunder. Lightning struck the great oak tree across the ride from us, and the waters poured down like a waterfall. We raced for cover in the Summer house, even the few seconds required sufficing to see my muslin gown, and all beneath it, soaked to my skin. As my Master put his arms around me I shivered, for the raindrops had felt as cold as ice.

"What, afraid of me still?" he cried.

"I shall always maintain a proper fear of you, as any good wife should, "I replied, "but it is cold not fear that makes me shake today."

At once he was all concern.

"You must take off those wet clothes," he declared, and would not be denied, acting as my tiring maid and unbuttoning me, pulling up my skirts to strip them off me, removing my soaked shoes and wetter stockings, that clung to my legs, until I stood in my stays only, my long wet hair come loose, and lying on my shoulders in sodden swathes.

"How to dry you?" he pondered, than removed his jacket, its thickness good protection from the rain, and stripped off his shirt, exposing his manly chest, the sight of the muscles rippling under his surprisingly delicate skin, creating a stirring in my belly, and an inner warmth that quite cancelled the icy deluge. With the fine linen of the shirt he dried my upper body, knelt on one knee to dry my legs, that stirring in my belly now nearing an earthquake as his hand stroked up my thighs to my fork, then stood again, before an eruption could ensue, to rub my hair, until it was no longer soaked, but merely damp.

Still I shivered, how much from cold, how much from heat, I could not tell. He cast further for aid. Against the gazebo in which we sheltered, grew shrubs of all kinds. He tore branches from a species of broom, or was it a birch? No matter, the branches consisted of bundles of thin parallel twigs, very thin and swishy, as I found when he began to strike me with them, stinging my tender skin all over, extraordinarily painfully at the start, for cold wet skin can be very sensitive, but soon dissolving into a fiery glow.

I danced under his whipping, my agitated movements adding to my envigourment, until I was warm and reddened all over. He dropped the twigs and seized me, bearing down onto the bench that waited there for visitors to rest their weary limbs on, or lovers their fresh lust. I lay back, glowing, on the hard wood, welcoming its harsh indentation in my back, as I awaited his equally hard indentation in my front, but I was not to enjoy the hoped for penetration. As I opened my thighs, and reached with eager arms, a voice from the doorway interrupted us.

"Are you all right Sir? The servants reported that you were seen running for the Garden house, but the rain stopped a while since, and still no sign of you. The lightning has struck just below, and we were feared you might have felt its power."

It was Mrs Fairfax. Did she but know it, another minute and I would have indeed felt the lightning's power, but it was not to be. Mr Rochester explained how I had been overcome by the chill, and that he had been attempting to enliven me, in which I might say he had succeeded admirably. At this the good lady was all consideration, and took me under her wing, hurrying me off to the house to be cared for.

"For men are not adept at these matters," she said.

I forbore to remark that, not only was Mr Rochester very able indeed but, if left uninterrupted to his own devices, would have had me roaring hot in but a moment, though it is true I would not have been entirely dry!

Once Mr Rochester had announced his intention to marry, all was bustle and todo within the house, and without, to prepare for the day, for he would have it soon. While all seemed happy for me, there was that in Mrs Fairfax's attitude that disturbed me. It was not that she was unfriendly, or even distant, but she seemed uncertain and unhappy in some way I could not understand. True, up until now, she had had the care of Thornfield, which would now fall to my charge, but I did not think she thought so much of the position as to be jealous of my taking it, especially as she was assured of a life of comfort and ease for the rest of her days.