Rockin’ in the Free World
That July, Three Dog Run threw a fundraiser to finance their first EP. They performed on a makeshift stage outside the Ward’s Island Association Club House by the Island Café where the staff served up ginger mojitos, microbrews and home-cooked meals. Local, long-haired children played soccer nearby beneath the trees. David and I spent that afternoon serving up hotdogs for a toonie. A roster of artists had come together for the day-long event. Toronto was in the middle of a heat wave, and it had been a stifling, overcast day. But as twilight settled, patio lights were lit and the crowd grew more festive. Ward’s Island was a ten minute ferry ride from the city’s harbourfront, and both David and I had put out an open call on Facebook, inviting everyone we knew. Across Lake Ontario, the CN Tower and Toronto skyscrapers glittered, reflected in the dark waters. Karen and Liam were due to arrive on the next boat and I waited for them at the ferry dock, within sight of the Island Café.
My old neighbours Mike and Melissa had driven down from North York and spent the day on the Islands. Mike looked a little bit sunburnt and windblown, but otherwise great. Fatherhood seemed to suit him. He walked apart from the crowds with Benjamin in his arms, rubbing his back. “Benny’s got a tummy ache,” Melissa explained, sporting a sunhat the size of a small umbrella. “Too much ice cream. He’ll be less fussy once we get him to bed.” She leaned on my shoulder and pulled off her flats. “Oh my god, my feet are killing me. I should’ve worn my cross trainers, what was I thinking?” She rummaged in a side-pouch of Benjamin’s stroller and pulled out a Band-Aid. “Michael,” she shouted, “how’s he doing?” Mike, who was pointing out ducks at the water’s edge, raised his arm and gave a thumbs-up signal. “We’ve got Benny in daycare for now,” Melissa said, bandaging one toe, “but it’s costing a fortune. Michael’s going to quit his job and stay home full-time. He knows his way around the kitchen and laundry room better than I ever did. Me, I’ve got a dozen restaurants and drycleaners on speed dial in my phone. I’m pregnant again, did I mention that? God, I miss my wine spritzers. But I love being pregnant, you have no idea. Just look what it does to my boobs. I’ve got more college boys checking me out now than when I was in college. Oh, and the girls, they just adore Michael when he’s out with Benny. What a DILF. Honestly, nothing is sexier than a man with a baby. You know, when we first got pregnant, he was such a mess. But it was his idea to plan for this second. I always knew he had it in him. Daniel, you’d make a great dad. Would you and David ever want kids?”
“Kids?” The question took me completely off guard. “No,” I stammered, “no, I’m still in school. To be honest, it’s not something we’ve ever discussed. I didn’t know the two of you were expecting again. Congratulations.” The ferry pulled up to the dock and the passengers disembarked. I spotted Karen and Liam and hurried forward to greet them. While Mike and Melissa introduced Benjamin to Karen, I gave Liam a high five and a hug. “Hey, look at you. Welcome back to Toronto. When did you two get into town?”
“A few hours ago,” Liam said, scanning the grounds. He wore a plain white T-shirt and baggy, cut-off jeans. He’d also gotten a haircut, trimmed his beard and cleaned beneath his nails. He actually looked like someone who might’ve grown up in civilization.
Jackson leaned against his leg and whined. I knelt and rubbed him behind the ears. “Hey there, big guy.” He licked my face. “Is he going to be okay,” I asked, “with all this noise and people around?”
“He’ll be fine,” Karen said. “And Jackson will be too.” She winked at Liam who managed a smile.
Melissa folded and hefted Benny’s stroller. “Suburbia calls. We’re off. Say bye-bye, Benny.” Benjamin stared at us with his big blue eyes. Mike waved his chubby hand. “Bye-bye.” Mike lifted him onto his shoulders as they boarded the ferry. When I called out, “It was great seeing you guys,” it was Benjamin who gave a thumbs-up sign.
After that, I walked Karen and Liam up the path to the Island Café. Liam kept Jackson on a short leash in the crowd. Other dogs roamed freely underfoot. They’d both brought small packs and sleeping rolls. “Pat and Blonde Dawn offered their place,” Karen explained, “but we’re going to camp out on the beach. It’s going to be a full Buck Moon tonight.”
“Here, on the Islands? Is that legal?”
“No. But people do it all the time.” Karen poked me in the butt. “I’ve got a few spots in mind. Don’t worry about us.”
On the outdoor stage, beneath the strings of patio lights, a five-piece jug band was playing enthusiastically, banging away on a banjo, a washtub bass and other home-made instruments. “So where’s Pat?” Liam asked.
“He’s around, somewhere. Three Dog Run opened this afternoon. They’ll be the closing act tonight. Can I get you a drink? Lemonade, cider?”
“How about a beer?”
I glanced at Karen. “You sure about that?”
“I can have a drink, Daniel,” Liam said.
“Okay. Okay, no problem. You two go find Pat. I’ll get us three beers.”
Stars began to appear from behind the pink-purple clouds. Someone lit tiki torches at the crossroads to the paved pathways. At the bar, I bumped into Parker wearing a Hawaiian shirt and his Ray-Bans. “Parker,” I said, “isn’t it a little dark for sunglasses?”
“I’m trying,” Parker whispered, “to look casual.” He leaned stiffly against the white railing, sipping on a Shirley Temple. “Do I look casual?”
“No, Parker, you look ridiculous.” I took off his sunglasses and tucked them into his shirt pocket. “What are you doing?”
Parker’s eyes swivelled in his head. “Behind me, five o’clock, is he still there?”
“Is who still there?”
“C.B. in a Tilley hat.”
C.B. was our code for “Cute Boy.” I glanced past Parker and spotted a strawberry-blonde boy with a frecklefaced girl in a denim dress. “I see him. He’s looking our way.” I waved and smiled.
“Daniel Garneau,” Parker exclaimed without moving his lips, “what are you doing?”
“I’m being friendly. So should you. Oh, here comes his friend.” The girl stepped up to the bar between us and retrieved a napkin. She spat out her gum and tucked it into a pocket of her skirt. “Hi,” she said shyly to Parker.
“Hello.”
“My cousin Kyle and I were just noticing your shirt. We think it’s really nice.”
“Thank you.”
I leaned in. “My friend Parker here thinks your cousin is really nice too. Parker, why don’t you go say hi to cousin Kyle.” I gathered up my three beers. “Cheers.” I walked away without looking back.
I found Karen, Liam, David and Blonde Dawn by a picnic table close to the stage. Pat, who was jamming with the jug band, on a kazoo, waved at us, stomping his feet. Some children and adults were dancing together, while most people were sitting in disorderly rows of plastic lawn chairs. “Hey, David,” I said, “this is my brother Liam.”
“We’ve met. Cheers, everyone.”
Pat leapt off the stage, dodged through the audience and gave Liam a crushing bear hug, lifting him off the ground. “Hey little brother, welcome to the Islands! Glad you could make it.” He grabbed the cup from my hand and drank thirstily. “Thanks for coming out. Wow!” he gasped. “This is amazing. You guys are the best.”
“Here’s to your EP.”
“Here’s to the Garneau boys,” Karen said. “Hold on, let me get a shot of the three of you.”
“Hey yo, Saxophone Man,” Pat shouted, “get a picture of the six of us!” Bobby Lam, who happened to be passing by, juggled the handful of phones thrust at him, and the next minute was spent posing for photos and trying our best to keep Jackson in the frame. After that, Pat jumped back onto the stage with my beer. “Here.” David handed me his cup. “I’ll get us another.”
“Thanks.”
Charles texted saying he and Megan were about to board the next ferry. When I met them at the dock, Megan showed off the engagement ring on her hand. “He proposed again,” she exclaimed breathlessly. “Like, I mean just now on the ferry, Daniel, and I don’t know, I don’t know what came over me, but this time I just said yes. I said it. I said yes.”
I grinned at Charles. “Dude.”
Charles stared back at me, his big eyes watering. He raised his hands and let them fall again. “She said yes.”
“Wow.” I opened my arms and hugged them both. “Guys, congratulations.”
“Where’s Karen?” Megan said. “Is she here yet? I have to tell her.”
A familiar voice spoke behind me. “Hey there, Daniel the Doorman.”
I turned to find myself face to face with Marwa. “Guys, look,” I said, “Karen’s here. She’s up by the stage. She’ll be thrilled to see you both. I’ll catch up with you.” Charles and Megan set off towards the Island Café. This evening, Marwa’s gleaming curls were the colour of cherry cola, and she wore a strapless, white sundress that showed off her cleavage and perfect tan. “Well,” I said, “if it isn’t the Meatball Queen.”
Marwa twirled and smiled coyly. “The one and only.”
“Marwa, what are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.”
“Were you on that last ferry? I didn’t see you.”
“No. We walked in from Centre Island. I came with Marcus. He’s getting drinks.”
“I see.”
“How have you been?”
“Alright.”
“So, Daniel, do I get a hug or what?”
“Marwa, of course.” When I squeezed her, she felt fuzzy and warm like a peach. I was surprised how much I’d actually missed her. The last time I saw Marwa, Marcus was being carted away in an ambulance, over a year-anda-half ago. “Wow, you smell amazing.”
“Thank you. So do you.”
“I smell like B.O., charcoal and wieners.”
“Classic yet contemporary.”
“I am the Hotdog King, I’ll have you know.”
“You’ve been helping your brother out with this fundraiser?”
“Here and there.”
“You’re a good man, Daniel Garneau.”
“I’ve been told that before.”
Marwa looked past me, and we both watched as Marcus walked slowly but steadily down the path from the Island Café. He wore a sleeveless shirt with a colourful Yakuza print, and a pale leather satchel at his hip. He was clean-shaven and had cropped his hair military-style.
“Hello, Marcus.”
“Daniel.” He handed Marwa a drink. “It’s good to see you.”
“No more cane?”
“No more cane. It has been a long convalescence.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you for the invitation.”
“Hey, thanks for coming. That’s a new look.”
Marcus ran a hand over his shaved head. “Yes, I suppose it is. Do you think it is too austere?”
“Austere? No, not with that shirt. You look good.”
“Do I?”
“You look great.”
“Thank you. As do you.”
Impulsively, awkwardly, I stepped in and gave Marcus a hug. “My brother’s in from Sudbury.”
“This is your second brother, Liam?”
“Liam. That’s right.”
“The ‘wildman-of-the-woods.’”
“Did I call him that?”
“No, but Patrick has. Liam Garneau,” Marcus said to Marwa, “is Daniel’s brother who lives off the grid.”
“He would if he could.” I smiled. “I think he tries his best.”
“There you are,” David called out, approaching. “Hey, Marcus, how’s it going?”
“I am well. It’s good to see you again, David.” He stroked Marwa’s cheek. “David, this is my very old and dear friend, Marwa.” He adjusted a bang that had fallen over her brow. “Marwa sometimes is my muse.” He raised a toast. “Here’s to the artistic process. I’ve brought a gift for the band. Are they about?”
“Somewhere,” David said, draping his arm over my shoulder. “They’re scheduled to go back up in an hour.”
“What’s this gift?” I asked.
Marcus raised a finger to his lips. “It is a surprise. But let me show you.”
He handed Marwa his drink, opened his satchel and withdrew a black T-shirt. Ceremoniously, he unfolded it and held it up, displaying the three-puppies logo David had designed.
“Holy shit, dude!” David exclaimed. “That looks awesome!” He grabbed the shirt from Marcus’ hands. “When did you do this?”
“I had thirty made up this morning. I’ve brought four for the band. And one for yourself.”
“Thirty? Whoa. We have a budget for this?”
“Like I said, these are a gift. When Three Dog Run wins their first Juno, I except a VIP pass to all their concerts.”
“Fuckin A!” David laughed. He pulled his own T-shirt off over his head, and put the new one on. “What do you think?”
“Here.” Marcus tucked in the tag sticking out of David’s collar, and rearranged the shirt on his shoulders. He patted his chest, and stood back appraisingly. “Beautiful.”
“Very nice,” Marwa said.
David glanced at me. I folded my arms and shrugged. “Looks great.”
“Come on, let’s go find the band! They can wear these on stage tonight.”
Marwa and I watched Marcus and David disappear into the crowd. “Your boyfriend,” she said, “he’s cute.”
“Thanks. So are you.”
“That’s sweet, Daniel.” She looked up at me sidelong, biting her lower lip. “You okay?”
“Of course I am.” I drained my cup and tossed it into a nearby garbage can. “Why shouldn’t I be?”
“Just asking.”
“So how is Marcus?”
“He’s working on a new project. He won a big Ontario Arts Council grant for it. It’s major. But he won’t tell me what it is.”
“Oh?”
“Ever since the accident, he’s been different. More secretive. He keeps to himself a lot these days.”
I wanted to ask if he was seeing anyone, but all I said was: “He seems well.”
“He isn’t seeing anyone, in case that’s what you’re wondering.”
I caught myself reflected in Marwa’s enormous eyes. “Is he happy?” I asked.
“Daniel. Marcus is never happy.”
The ferry horn sounded last call before pulling out. “And how are you doing?”
“I,” Marwa said, “have been baking cupcakes.”
“Cupcakes?”
“Mm-hm. Lots of them.” Marwa handed me her card. “I’ve even hired an assistant.”
“Well.” The card was hot pink with delicate, swirling script. “Cherry Bomb Bakery. Impressive.”
“Thank you.” Marwa performed a curtsey. “Everyone loves to eat, right? Who doesn’t love cupcakes?”
“Who doesn’t love cupcakes.”
Marwa looked in the direction Marcus had gone. “When he was in the hospital, I’d have him test my samples. Raspberry chocolate truffle was his favourite. I’d also bring him home-cooked meals, and take-out: Swiss Chalet, dark meat with extra dipping sauce.”
“I know.”
“He likes to tell people he’s vegan.”
I sighed. “I know.”
“His leg was hurting him by the time we got here. I told him he should’ve brought his cane, but he insisted he didn’t need it. I gave him something to help with the pain. Don’t tell him I told you.”
“You still catering Marcus’ parties?”
“I cater a lot of people’s parties. Is there anything I can get you?”
“Out here?”
“Try me.”
“What are you, like a walking pharmacy?”
“Does your boyfriend like to party?”
“David? I think so.”
“Look. Marcus is having a few people over tonight. Why don’t you and David join us? It’ll be fun.”
My heart began to thud in my chest. I tried to sound casual. “I dunno.”
“Why not? I’ll take care of you both. I promise.”
“I know you will. That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“Daniel.”
“Marwa, I like you. You’ve been really nice to me. It’s just that I don’t entirely trust myself. When I’ve been on favours, I’ve done things I’ve regretted.”
“So we won’t get you high. Just come on over and have a few drinks with us. Are we that scary?” She bared her teeth and clawed at my chest.
“No,” I said, laughing, “you’re not that scary.”
“That’s too bad. I’ve always wanted to be scary. I always kind of thought of myself as a Wild Thing.”
“Wild Thing?”
“You know, from that children’s book.”
“I can picture that. You, Marcus, Fang. Wild Things, definitely.”
“Oh, Marcus, he’s not a Wild Thing, despite what people think. The truth is,” she whispered, “he’s just a boy.”
“From Burlington.”
“That’s right.”
“I see.”
“He really misses you, you know.”
“Does he?”
“Daniel, I’ve known Marcus his whole life. You had a big influence on him.”
“I know. I’m the first person who’s ever asked him out. Woohoo. I suppose I’m also the only one who’s ever broken up with him too. Is that right?”
“That’s right.”
“Bummer. Welcome to the real world.”
“Daniel, why did you ask him out?”
“My best friend, she put me up to it.”
“Your best friend?”
“Karen. She’s here tonight. I’ll introduce you.”
Marwa hooked her arm through mine, and we strolled along the waterfront. “Should I be jealous?”
“Karen and I grew up across the street from each other. We’ve known each other since we were kids.”
“I’m jealous.”
“You and Marcus grew up together.”
“That’s true. I remember Marcus, he was this skinny, nervous, excitable boy. He was sick all the time. He’d get these nose bleeds that would land him in the hospital for days. It was awful. He used to get teased and beat up a lot.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“I was his only friend. He used to stage private performances just for me. I’ve lost track of the number of Marcus Wittenbrink Jr. world premieres I’ve attended.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“It was. For the both of us. His parents didn’t approve of me. They were these big shot lawyers, see. Back then, I was this sketchy goth chick. They took one look at me and figured I was bad news.”
“And were you?”
Marwa giggled. “Of course I was.”
“I’ve met his parents.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Look, Marcus hates talking about his past. Don’t tell him I told you all this.”
“He’s lucky to have you.”
“Well, we’re a lot of things to each other.” Marwa picked up a piece of driftwood and, with surprising force, hurled it overhand across the lake. “Except, I wouldn’t call him my best friend.”
“No?”
“No.” Her eyes sparkled. “I wouldn’t.”
“What would you call him then?”
“Oh, that’s easy.” Marwa smiled up at me wistfully. “Marcus, he’s leader of the wild rumpus. He’s Max, King of All Wild Things.”
Just before Three Dog Run was to take the stage, I found myself waiting outside the single-occupancy washroom at the back of the WIA Club House. When the door finally opened, to my surprise I encountered Parker emerging hand in hand with Kyle. “Oh,” Parker blurted, “Daniel.” I could’ve sworn I saw him blush. “Daniel, this is Kyle. Kyle, this is my friend Daniel.”
“Hey Kyle, nice hat.”
Kyle, who looked like a shaggy Christopher Robin with facial hair, smiled shyly. “Thanks.”
“Parker,” I said, “what’s a DILF?”
“A DILF? That’s a Dad I’d Like to Fuck. Why do you ask?”
“Oh, okay, thanks. That makes sense.” I clapped them both on the shoulders. “You guys having a good time?” Both nodded. “Parker,” I said, pointing, “you’re flying low. Excuse me.” I squeezed past them and closed the door behind me. I stood over the toilet pissing for what seemed like a whole minute. After that, I soaked a handful of paper towels in cold water and wiped down my neck and armpits. I wished I’d brought my deodorant. When I finally stepped out, Marcus was waiting. “Oh, hey.”
“Care for a bump?”
“What?”
He held up a tiny Ziploc bag of white powder. Fang had always been the cokehead when the three of us were together. I glanced around nervously. Marcus squeezed past me. His hand rested on the doorknob. “You coming?”
I followed Marcus back in and he bolted the door. The washroom was cramped enough for one. I did my best not to press myself up against him. Marcus spent some time crushing the contents of the bag with his lighter against the edge of the sink. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful,” I finally said, “but can we hurry this up?”
Marcus regarded me mildly. “Now that just sounds ungrateful.”
“Marcus.”
“David did a good job with the logo.”
I nodded. “You pay for those shirts yourself?”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“Because I used to be like them. Because I’ve been fortunate to have had people believe in me and support me along the way. Now that I’ve achieved some modicum of success, it’s good to be able to give something back. Here.” He’d dipped the end of a key into the bag and held it out for me.
I opened and closed my mouth. Finally, I leaned over and snorted the bump. After that, Marcus helped himself. “Is that the only reason?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Why Pat and his band? Why them? Thirty T-shirts? C’mon. You barely even know them.”
“What do you want me to say, Daniel? Because Patrick reminds me of you?”
“Pat’s not like me at all.”
“That’s right. Patrick’s his own person, as are Dawn and Rodrigo and Robert.” Marcus helped himself to a second bump, sniffed, and held out the key.
“No,” I said. “No thanks.”
“If it bothers you that much, give the word and I’ll walk away. I’ll take back the T-shirts. I won’t talk to them again. Ever. Will that make you happy? Is that what you want? Because I’ll do it.”
“What? No.”
“Then what is it, Daniel? Tell me, what is it?”
“I’m with David now.”
“I know that.”
“Are you sure you know that?”
“Daniel, don’t be arrogant. It’s not becoming.”
“Do you really, honestly think I’m being arrogant right now?”
“No, I suppose not,” Marcus said, his gaze downcast. “My apologies.”
“But you think I’m being an asshole.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you’re thinking it.”
“You can choose to believe that if you wish.”
I reached for the door. “We’re done here.”
“Did you ever care for me?”
“What?”
“Did you ever,” Marcus said, “care for me at all?”
“What the hell sort of question is that?”
“It’s just that you seemed to be able to walk away from us so easily.”
“You and Fang seemed to be getting along just fine.”
“I didn’t mean Fang and me. I meant you and me, the two of us. When those elevator doors closed, you just seemed so cold and far away. You just didn’t seem to care at all.”
“What? What? Are you kidding? Are you, are you like kidding me?” I backed up, banging my head painfully against the towel dispenser. “Marcus, you were the one who kept pushing and pushing. You knew I wasn’t into the threesome thing, but you kept pushing.”
“Fang is a good person.”
“This isn’t about Fang!” I shouted. “This is about you and me, and what we meant to each other. We were supposed to be partners, we were supposed to be boyfriends. What happened on New Year’s Eve was a mistake, a stupid mistake. But that’s all it was. I didn’t plan for it to happen. You were the one who took it and ran with it! I know you think I’m this, I’m this imbecile living in the Stone Age, but I happen to like the idea of being boyfriends. I am so sorry I’m not as enlightened as you are, but some people just aren’t cut out for your New Age bullshit excuse for fucking around with whoever you happen to get a hard-on for. That’s what I walked away from. For the record, I loved us. I loved us, Marcus. But the two of us just wasn’t good enough for you, or maybe it was too scary for you. Real relationships, the real ones that mean something, they’re scary, they’re fucking scary as hell. You were the one who shut down. You were the one who walked away from us.” I scrabbled at the bolt. When the door swung open, I half fell out of the washroom. On the far side of the Club House, Three Dog Run launched into their opening number, an energetic cover of a Sam Roberts tune.
I strode away without looking back, trying not to break into a run. Then I did break into a run. Rounding the building, I searched the crowd for David. Eventually, I spotted Karen towards the back, sitting comfortably up in the nook of a tree. “Where’s David?” I asked.
“I thought he was with you. You okay?”
“Yeah. I just need to find David. Where’s Liam?”
“He went for a walk. Jackson was getting a little spooked. Daniel, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” I clutched my head. “I’ll tell you later.”
“Daniel, you’re crying.” She jumped down from the tree. “What’s wrong?”
I started to back away. “I gotta go.”
“Go where?”
“I’m going to find David, alright?”
“Oh my god, you’re bleeding.”
There was blood on my hand. I touched the back of my head and my fingers came away wet. “Shit.” On stage, Pat flailed at his guitar, craning his neck over the mic. The audience was on its feet. Karen took me by the hand and led me away to the nearby soccer field. I kept insisting, “Karen, it’s nothing. It’s just a scratch. I’m fine. Seriously.”
She sat me down in the middle of the field, soaked a napkin with a water bottle and dabbed at my scalp. “What happened?”
“I got into a fight with Marcus.”
“You didn’t hurt him, did you?”
“What? No! Not, like, no we weren’t fighting. We were just arguing and I must’ve hit my head. Look, I didn’t even notice until you pointed it out.” I pulled out my phone, called David, got his voice mail and hung up. Then I tried again and left a message: “David, it’s me. Call me back.”
“Well,” Karen said, “it doesn’t look too bad. What were you fighting about?”
“Us. Why we broke up.”
“Daniel, you and Marcus broke up over two years ago.”
“I know.”
“For real?”
“I know. It’s fucked up. You’d think we’d be over each other by now. And the craziest thing is that David seems to like the guy. I mean, what’s not to like, right?”
“Marcus can be charismatic. Here, hold this.” Karen had me press a fresh napkin against the back of my head.
“Would you ever talk to David about this?”
“Oh, David talks about Marcus all the time.”
Karen frowned. “Really?”
“I know. I mean, what kind of boyfriend keeps talking about your ex-boyfriend? Like, I mean, who does that, for chrissake? Sometimes, I think David wants to sleep with the guy.”
“Does he?”
“I don’t know. He’s convinced I do.”
“Is David the jealous type?”
“No. In fact, he’s the opposite. That’s what makes everything so weird.”
“So do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Do you still want to sleep with Marcus?”
I stared at Karen. Now my head was starting to ring. Blinking jets passed high overhead, and farther beyond, satellites spun around the planet Earth. Hello. Goodbye. “Of course I do,” I exclaimed. “If I didn’t, there’d be no problem. That’s the problem.” The stars spiralled, dizzying. I inhaled into my lungs the moist fragrance of summer grasses, wildflowers and blooming trees. The sensations of the world filled me up to bursting. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or cry.
My phone rang. “David, where are you?”
I could barely make him out over the music in the background. “The sound engineer, he’s sick,” he said. “He’s hurling down by the dock. I’m on the mixer.”
“What, right now?”
“Yeah, I’m mixing for Three Dog Run right now. I’ve never mixed before in my life. Where are you?”
“I’m over in the soccer field.”
“What are you doing over there?”
“I’m talking with Karen.”
“The band’s on stage. They’re playing already.”
“Yeah, I know. I can hear them.”
“How’s my mixing?”
“It’s fine.”
“Daniel, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I love you.”
“I love you too. Hey, you sure everything’s okay?”
“Yeah. I’m sure. I’ll meet you after this song, alright? You’re doing great.”
“Alright. Hurry up.”
I hung up. “He’s on the mixer.”
Karen took both my hands in hers. “Look, I should go find Liam. He wasn’t looking so good earlier. Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah. I should go too. I think David needs me.”
“Daniel, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For getting you involved with Marcus. If I hadn’t pushed you to ask him out ...”
“Oh, Karen, no. No, that was, that was cool. You were great. If it weren’t for you, I would never have asked him. But, I mean, I want to thank you for that. Thank you. You’re good for me. You’re my best friend. Don’t be sorry. I regret a lot of things in my life. But I don’t regret asking Marcus out.”
“You sure about that?”
I nodded. “I love you, Karen Fobister.”
“I love you too.” She stood up and helped me to my feet. “How’s your head?”
“It’s okay.” I checked the napkin, but I’d stopped bleeding. “I’m okay.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Really, I am. Thank you.”
“Alright.” Karen backed away. “Okay. Catch you on the flip side.”
I waved and watched as Karen headed off. “Catch you on the flip side.”
Close to midnight, David and I caught the last ferry back to the city. The fundraiser had been a success, and there was a lot to celebrate. Charles and Megan had taken the earlier boat. Pat, Blonde Dawn and the rest of the band were staying overnight with friends on the Island. Apparently, so was Parker. Good for him. Karen texted to let me know she’d found Liam and Jackson, and that all was well. David and I sat side by side on the main deck, sunburnt and exhausted, our hands buried in our pockets, our tired feet stretched out. David wore his big headphones, the hood of his sweatshirt pulled down low over his face. Two people strolled up. It was Marwa and Marcus.
“Mind if we join you?” Marwa asked.
“Hey,” David murmured, lifting one earpiece. “We were wondering if you guys were on this boat.”
They settled on the opposite bench facing us. A wind had sprung up, and the ferry rocked as it ploughed steadily across the channel to the mainland. Marwa slipped off her jewelled sandals. Clutching them to her breast, she lay down with a contented sigh, resting her head in Marcus’ lap. Absently, he stroked her hair, gazing out the window. David put his headphones back on.
Eventually, Marcus and I regarded each other. His hazel eyes were flecked with gold. I knew I’d been angry with him earlier that evening, but that feeling was vague now and far away. He and David looked nothing alike, yet I saw something strangely similar in the way they held themselves, and in the way they’d both gaze upon me. Marcus’ shaved head accentuated the precise proportions of his skull and jaw, the curve of his neck. He had one bare arm flung out over the back of the bench. I remembered more than once, long ago, resting in Marcus’ lap just as Marwa did now. I noticed his knuckles were freshly bruised and crusted with blood, but I didn’t think to ask what had happened. Calmly, we observed each other, breathing in unison, until the ferry arrived at the Harbourfront dock and both Marwa and David roused themselves and we all stood and gathered our belongings and waited for the corrugated metal gangplank to lower, before stepping off the boat back onto solid land, poised at the concrete edge of the luminous city at night. Then when the four of us hugged goodnight, I made a point of kissing Marcus on the lips. And this time, it wasn’t a kiss between friends or ex-lovers. After that, I took my David’s hand in my own and walked away.