“I have an idea…” Daire’s soft breath tickled her ear.
Silvia opened her eyes, then quickly shut them. The bright light streaming through the blinds took her by surprise. Had she slept all night?
“What time is it?” she asked, her head turning into her pillow to block the light.
“Nearly nine.”
She popped up. “Nine a.m.?”
“Yeah.” He laughed. “Why?”
She blinked, bringing him into focus. He was sitting on the side of the bed, a cup of coffee in his hand. “I never sleep past five. Heck, I rarely sleep. How long have you been up?”
He set the coffee cup on the side table and snuggled beside her. “A bit. So, you slept well in my arms?”
She lifted her hand to cover her mouth. “Very. I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night.”
He pulled her hand away and traced the tops of her cheeks. “I was wondering about the shadows under your eyes. I thought maybe you didn’t like to eat your leafy vegetables. My mom is a major food nut. Plant-based. She’s constantly shoving vegetables down my throat.”
She lifted her hand to cover her face again, and he pulled it back.
“What are you doing? Stop covering that cute face.”
“I have morning breath.”
“Well, then, get up and brush. I’ve already showered, shaved, brushed, fed Harvey.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Like I said, I have an idea.”
Silvia pushed back the comforter and hopped out of the warm bed. She sniffed.
“I made breakfast, too.” He hopped up and made his way to her side of the bed. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face against her neck, kissing the sensitive area behind her ear. Goosebumps ran down her neck and arm. He pulled back and looked at her. “Don’t take too long getting ready. I have a fun day planned.”
With that, he stepped away from her and pulled the door closed behind him.
“What kind of fun day?” she called as she made her way to the small bathroom. The room, barely large enough for a shower the same size as her fridge, a toilet, and a single sink, worked for her. But she doubted Daire would even be able to fit under the showerhead. Since she hadn’t heard him, she assumed he must have used the hall bathroom.
“You’ll see.”
She thought about offering that she had plans, just to mess up his day, but then figured why bother to pretend. She liked Daire—well, as she told him last night, she loved him. Not that she’d ever been in love before, but she couldn’t imagine it feeling any more potent than what she felt for Daire. Sure, it was probably a healthy dose of thanks because he’d saved her and lust for his looks and body. But there was more… Her heart felt need and want…for Daire.
Even when she thought she loved Dominic, she’d never felt a strong pull toward him. She never felt an ache in her heart to be close—mentally. She’d just been a stupid kid who wanted to have fun.
She took a quick shower, brushed her teeth, slapped on some tinted sunscreen and waterproof mascara, and then stared in her tiny closet. Not knowing what Daire had planned, she wasn’t sure what to wear. Not that she had an extensive selection. She held up her joggers, which he’d noticed she always wore, so she opted for her only pair of jeans. Next, she grabbed a long-sleeve T-shirt.
She hoped he had nothing fancy planned.
Dressed, she stared into the mirror. The dark shadows that were typically beneath her eyes were nearly non-existent. A good night’s sleep did wonders. She’d slept almost twelve hours.
She smiled at her reflection. Her roots needed a touch-up. Maybe she could let them grow out for the first time in eight years. Luis hadn’t found her. Perhaps he stopped looking.
She could only hope.
Hope… She sighed on the word. It had been a long time coming, but she actually felt hope for the first time since she could remember.
She opened the bedroom door and smiled at Daire, sitting at the tiny dinette, scrolling through his phone. He turned it face down and stood.
“Breakfast is on the stove.” He filled a cup of coffee and handed it to her, then went back for a plate.
Silvia stared down at the cup. He’d already had the cream and sugar in it. She lifted the spoon and stirred as she sat at the table. “Thank you, Daire. You’re spoiling me.”
He glanced over his shoulder as he scraped food from a pan onto the plate. “This isn’t spoiling. This is sustenance. Plus, I wanted to have everything ready, so we can hit the road. He set the plate in front of her, then leaned down and kissed her. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was soft, sweet, and already…familiar. He backed away and took the seat beside her. “Eat.”
“What exactly do you have planned?”
He lifted his cup, finishing the last few drops. “Well, since you didn’t seem excited about horses, I have another idea to get you into the wilderness.”
“What’s that?”
“A side-by-side. Not like the department has. We have a nice Can-Am. It’s actually a softer ride than horseback. I thought I’d take you on a trail behind my house. We’ll end up near the creek for a nice picnic lunch.”
Silvia dug into her scrambled eggs. “That sounds like a perfect day.” And it did. She couldn’t imagine a better day than spending it with Daire in the wilderness.
What a one-eighty her life had taken. She’d gone from a wild then scary life in Phoenix to a subdued, lonely life for the last eight years, and now, she felt like she could have everything. She still missed her mother and sister dearly, but what if… What if she could actually bring them here? She’d have everything if she could talk her mother into moving to Alaska.
She’d have love and family, something she’d wanted her entire life.
The thought made her smile. Maybe she really could have a life.
Although she’d lived in Alaska for eight years, Silvia hadn’t done much but work. When she wasn’t working, she played with Harvey, read, or worked at the shelter with Jean Bedard.
Today, she was letting loose. She gripped her arms tighter around Daire’s waist, loving the feel of the wind as it buffeted her exposed skin. Strands of hair not secured by her helmet whipped at her neck.
Occasionally, whispy tree limbs snagged her shirt but, mostly, Daire was careful where he drove the four-wheeler, taking care to juke left or right to avoid larger limbs. He’d offered that they could take the side-by-side to a busier section by the river. But if she was okay with the four-wheeler, which was a bit bumpier, there was a more private beach accessible by the four-wheeler or horseback. Too far to walk, he’d suggested.
Silvia had opted for the four-wheeler.
They didn’t talk much over the grumbling engine. But that was okay. It allowed her to think about the previous night together—and all she’d confessed. What he’d learned about his past…
She especially appreciated that even though they had wanted to go further once they curled up in bed together, he’d just squeezed her tighter against his chest and whispered encouraging words.
Silvia inhaled the scent of the wooded area. All the snow that had melted gave the Alaska plains a swampy feel. The moist earth, which gave way to newly sprouted leaves, combined to create a rich earthy aroma.
After several miles of riding, the dense foliage opened, offering a fantastic view of the river that ran eighty-five miles from the Talkeetna Mountains to Cook Inlet. And, as always, an unobstructed view of the snow-covered mountain range behind the trees. She never quite got used to the fact that snowcapped mountain ranges always surrounded her no matter where she was in Alaska or what time of the year it was.
Daire parked and shut off the engine a bit back from the river.
Silvia unlatched her helmet. “It’s beautiful.”
Daire reached for the helmet and set it in the utility basket behind her. “Watch your step. It can be a bit mushy in some areas.”
He offered her a hand, then reached for the rifle he’d grabbed from his ready room, swinging the strap over his shoulder, so the gun rested on his back. Next, he reached for the cooler, which held their picnic lunch. He had raced through the kitchen, grabbing snacks, and then made a few peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches.
“Are there really bears here?” As long as she’d been in Alaska, she’d yet to see one in the wild. Not that she ventured into the wild much, but she’d always expected she might see some in her neighborhood since her street was surrounded on three sides by woods. But she hadn’t yet.
“There’s always a chance. Around here, they’re often referred to as the invisible bears.”
Silvia laughed. “Invisible? Why’s that?”
“Because even though we see all the remnants of them…” He pointed across the river. “See the paths. Most humans don’t go on that side of the river. That’s the bear’s side. You can see how they made paths to the river. They often leave behind half-eaten salmon. Pawprints in the mud. And we see the markings on the trees. But rarely do we see the actual bear, which is a good thing.”
“Yeah. But you still brought a gun.”
“I’d use the bear spray first.”
“Good answer.”
To the left of the path, Daire climbed up onto a platform about five feet off the ground, which was good since three-foot-high blades of green grass interspersed with fuchsia, purple, and yellow wildflowers bordered the river.
Silvia followed him up, then walked to the edge of the rail-less planks.
The raised deck allowed a perfect view of the narrow valley sandwiched between the forest of soaring spruce, quaking aspen, and paper birch and the Talkeetna Mountains.
She caught flashes of gray and black birds with a bit of yellow on their wings as they zoomed in and out of the trees, catching insects mid-air. Mosquitos, no doubt. Luckily Daire had sprayed them both down with Deet before they set out. After all, she’d heard her firefighter brothers joke that mosquitos were the unofficial Alaska state bird.
Daire tugged a thick blanket out of the pack he brought and, together, they spread it over the wood planks.
“This is so cool. I can’t imagine how much work it was to haul all the wood here. There’s so much to see.” Silvia couldn’t stop scanning the area for wildlife. Although her home backed up to woods, Wasilla was much more citified than Falcon Run, which bordered Denali National Park.
“Yeah. My dad built this before I was born. A few abandoned houses were on our property after Alaska repealed the homesteading act. Many of the properties requested for homesteading never went through because the owners had to cultivate at least an eighth of the property they claimed.” Daire gestured around him. “Not much to cultivate here except salmon and birds, so my father tore down any unlivable properties and then used the wood to create such places. He also built a few tree stands where he could hunt.”
“Hunt?”
Daire chuckled. “Yeah, we never bought meat when I was a kid. We lived off what Dad hunted. Now, none of us hunts. Plus, Mom’s—” He breathed a sigh. “Mom… I wonder if I need to start calling her Gram after all this time.”
Silvia reached for his hand, pulling him to sit on the deck. “I doubt she’d want that.”
Daire dropped his head. “I know my situation sounds ridiculous compared to yours, but I can’t help but feel betrayed.”
“Oh, Daire. Please don’t think I feel that way. It’s not like you’re wailing and gnashing your teeth. You’re upset. With good reason. You have every right to feel betrayed. But you know they love you, and everything they did, they did for your good.”
He bobbed his head. “I know. I just wish I hadn’t been blindsided.”
“I get that.” Silvia stretched out on the blanket. “The sun feels so good. I miss the sun.”
“I get that,” he echoed her words. He moved in beside her, propping his head on his hand. “I was born here, so I’m used to it, but I can’t imagine having to live in the year-round cold when you were used to 120 degrees.”
She moved onto her side. “It’s not always 120 degrees. Maybe a few days out of the year. Phoenix actually gets quite cool in the winter. Not Denali cold, but it dips in the winter and even at night. Besides, even in the summer, it doesn’t feel too hot if you’re in the shade. It’s that dry heat, you know.”
“Right. Still wouldn’t want to be cooking in an oven.”
“Really, it’s not that bad. Maybe…” She traced his collar bone. She loved how manly his neck looked. “Maybe someday, we can visit.”
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “I would love that. Not only because I’d like to see someplace other than Alaska once in my life, but that would mean that you feel safe enough to return.”
Silvia sighed. “I feel safe with you, Daire.”
“Good.” He ran a hand down her head, his fingers threading through her hair. “Because you are. I will never let anything happen to you on my watch.”
She smiled up at him. “Thank you. I like being on your watch. But I hope you know that if I’m on your watch, you’re on my watch, too, so I have a question for you. But again, I swear…if it’s none of my business, I’ll shut right up.”
He huffed out a breath, obviously having an idea of what she would bring up. “I said my life is your business, so tell me how selfish I’m being, please.”
She reached up and kissed the tip of his nose. “You’re not being selfish. As I said, you have every right to be upset. I just know…” She sucked in a deep breath. “There are too many things that went unsaid with my mom and me. My sister, too. As bad as that is, it would be far worse if I knew I never had a second chance to right those wrong words. Yeah, I’m far away, but she occasionally calls with a burner phone I sent her. If I found out she was dying, though… I’d have to go see her. No matter the danger, I’d have to take the chance to see my mother one more time.”
“And if I let my birth mother die,” Daire said. “I’ll never have a chance.”
“Exactly. I’m not saying you have to give up part of your liver. I don’t even know what the risks are for that. All I’m saying is that you might regret it if you never reach out to Ava.”
~ Daire ~
Daire pulled Silvia into his arms. “I know you’re right, and I promise to think about what I should do. But right now, can we not talk about our crazy families and talk about us?” Instead of talking, though, he covered her mouth with his.
When he woke her up this morning, his first thought had been finishing what they’d started the previous evening. His body had been more than ready, the reason he’d gone directly to the shower.
But then he’d realized he wasn’t ready. He didn’t want Silvia to reach out to him because she was hurting. He wanted her to want him as badly as he wanted her because she craved him, not a shoulder to cry on.
After a few seconds of kissing, Silvia nipped his bottom lip, then pushed his shoulders, clearly indicating she wanted him on his back. “How many of your brothers come here?”
Daire couldn’t suppress his smile as she crawled on top of him. “My three eldest brothers, I’d say never. Not anymore. Erik and Kimi won’t bring any tours because I told them I was bringing the four-wheeler out here. The loud engine spooks the horses—”
She leaned down, cutting off his words with a demanding kiss, then lifted his arms, pinning them above his head with one hand. He instinctively opened up to her, letting her have her way with him. There would be no more discussion from him unless her actions demanded it.
Her other hand moved to his shirt, her nimble fingers making quick work of the buttons. Her hands moved to his chest, tracing his pecks, then she ran a finger down the center of his chest, ending up at his abs.
“You are a fine piece of workmanship, Daire Belgarde.”
She knew exactly how he felt about her, so instead of responding with a compliment, which he doubted she wanted anyway, he just grinned up at her.
Silvia needed to be in control, he was certain.
She smiled, then lowered her mouth to his chest, taking one of his nipples in her mouth.
Chills ran over his flesh from his shoulders to his toes, and blood pumped under his skin, making him instantly hard. He hadn’t been with a woman since he’d met Silvia, and he was more than ready. Still, as much as he wanted her, he suppressed the urge to flip her onto her back and show her how much he wanted her.
She smiled up at him. “You like that?”
He released a shaky breath and bobbed his head. “More than you could possibly know.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Good.”
Her hand moved between them, and her mouth found his lips again at the same time her hand cupped him. She pulled back a few inches, then bit her bottom lip. “Nice to see you’re not the little brother after all.”
“You’re killing me, Silvia.”
“Mmm… Good. You’ve certainly made me hot the last few nights.” She kissed him again, her tongue diving into his mouth, her hand matching the same circular rhythm on the outside of his jeans.
“Silvia,” he said beneath her mouth. He wanted her to have complete control, but there was something he had to say before they went further.
“Yes?” Her lips continued to move softly over his, nipping and pulling.
He moved his hands to the side of her head. “I want you to know that I really do love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
Her lips pulled up again. She closed her eyes for a second, then opened them. He could see the transformation in her eyes at that very second. She believed him.
“I know you do, Daire. And I love you, too. Now, I want you to make love to me.”
She tugged him toward her, making it clear she wanted him to take control now, so he did.
He rolled her over, taking his time as he removed each article of clothing, then he made it his mission to kiss every square inch of her body.
Her scars didn’t matter; they were all part of what made Silvia who she was—the woman he fell in love with. The woman he knew without a doubt he’d die for.
After they made love, they lay together on the platform, intertwined in each other’s arms. The sun warmed their naked bodies, and Daire was sure he had never been happier. If he could choose a moment in time to repeat for eternity, this would be it.
When his stomach started growling, he simply reached for the soft cooler and pulled out a sandwich for each of them. “This is definitely a new one for me.”
Silvia stared up at him. “Which part? The having sex on your family’s hunting platform or eating naked?”
“Both!” He laughed.
She scoffed. “Oh, but I heard all of you Belgardes were wild.”
“Not me. I saw too much of what happened with my elder brothers—and Sam, obviously, with his constant pressure. I think it tamed me.”
She tsked. “Ah, and here I thought I had the wild one. I must be getting tamer in my old age.”
Dare cocked his head. “Speaking of old age. I was doing some math earlier.”
She rolled her eyes before he could continue. “Yeah, I lost two years in the transition to Alaska. I’m twenty-four, not twenty-six.”
He made a grunting noise. “And you kept treating me like you were too old for me.”
“And you just wouldn’t give up.”
He pulled her against his body again. “I’m insatiable.” And thankfully, prepared. He hadn’t been sure, but just to be safe, he’d tucked several condoms into the side pocket of his pack.
“I think I like that about you, Daire.”
He pulled her on top of him again. Within minutes, their bodies moved together as if they were one.
When he knew she was completely satisfied, he took his turn.
After they lay in silence for a while, Daire gathered up her clothes. He didn’t know how to help with her jeans. Taking them off was easy. Putting them on… He didn’t have a clue. But he slipped her hands through her long sleeves, then pulled the T-shirt over her head.
While she pulled on her jeans, he slipped into his shirt, buttoning it up, then tugged on his jeans. “It’s getting late. Even though it stays light until midnight, it’s not a good idea to be out here too late. Those bears won’t be so invisible late in the evening; that’s when they start to hunt.”
Silvia gathered up the rest of their belongings and followed him down the steps.
Daire stowed all their items in the basket, strapped them down, then straddled the four-wheeler. Silvia hopped on behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist again.
He loved how they already moved together as one, without even having to talk, one of the reasons they worked so well on the ambulance together.
What would happen when he finished his training? Would they have a position on the same shift? Would they be able to continue to work together, or would LT move him somewhere else? And what would happen if LT found out about their relationship?
Daire didn’t have to wonder too long; he knew exactly what would happen. If LT found out they were in a relationship, one of them would have to move to another shift.
How would they see each other if that happened? He already hated his days off. If they worked separate shifts, they’d never see each other.
Silvia’s arms tightened around him, and she rested her helmeted head against his back.
It didn’t matter, Daire realized. As he’d previously told Silvia—and proved—he’d walk into a burning building for her. He’d figure out this, too. Nothing or no one would stop him from seeing Silvia—other than Silvia.