Silvia stood, then darted her eyes around the nearly full restaurant. She scooped up her purse, ready to bolt, but then remembered Daire had driven them. First to the airport, then here. She’d let him take control of everything this past week, and now she was doomed.
“Take me home!” she demanded. This was why she’d never let herself get involved. When it was just her, no one else could get hurt. No one else could screw up.
“Silvia, I’m so sorry. Maybe I’m wrong—”
“Sorry? I trusted you, Daire! I’ve done this on my own for eight years, and no one got hurt. I made sure everyone was safe. Now…” She ran her hands through her hair. What was she going to do? She slumped back down in the booth.
“I’ll help.” He reached both hands across the table for her, but she pulled herself upright. “We’ll move you into a safe place,” he rushed to assure her. “Like I mentioned, one of those high-rise apartments.”
She shook her head. “You’re not getting it, Daire. There’s nowhere to hide if someone knows where you live. Anyone can kill anyone if they really want to. A quick stabbing on the street. A gunshot through those paper-thin walls or windows of mine.” She pushed her plate away. “I have to leave.”
“Of course, we can go now.” He lifted a hand to catch the server’s attention.
“No, Daire. I have to leave Alaska. Now. I have to start a new life—again. You know how small Alaska is. If he looks up the Midnight Sons, he’ll see a dazzling pic of you, especially since we were recently listed in the papers—together. All he’ll have to do is Google Midnight Sons, and not only will your pic pop up, but my image and new name will show up in the same article.”
She dropped her head. She wouldn’t be able to transfer to another state as a paramedic. She’d never be able to use her sister’s name again. Since she’d have to work jobs that paid under the table, she’d have to spend her life working for peanuts. And what about her mother and sister… How would they afford to live where they were without the money she sent?
The waitress appeared, so Silvia stood again. “I’ll wait outside.”
Daire fished in his pocket for his wallet. He handed the waitress two twenties, then followed Silvia.
“Sir, don’t you want me to box this up?” The server called after them, but they were halfway to the door.
Outside, Daire stepped in front of her. “I’ll go with you, Silvia. Anywhere you want. I have money. He won’t find us. I’ll work construction. I’ll take care of you.”
Silvia closed her eyes, but tears still leaked from the corners. “No, Daire. You can’t help me. No one can help me. Just take me home, please.”
He clicked the key fob and offered a hand to help her into the truck, but she pushed it away and stepped up inside.
Not an hour ago, she felt hope. The dark despair that she’d carried inside her for so long—even before Dominic’s attack—had finally subsided. Amazing the difference an hour could make.
Daire, thankfully, remained quiet the entire way to Wasilla, which she knew was a task in itself for him. When he parked in front of her trailer, she reached for the door handle. Like the last time she’d been upset, he stopped her.
“Silvia, I…” He clenched the steering wheel. “Please, let me help. Let me stay with you—”
“Don’t you understand, Daire?” She sniffed. “It’s not just my life that I’m worried about. It’s everyone I love. If you’re anywhere near me, he’ll kill you first, then come for me. He’ll… You don’t know him.” She wiped the tears off her cheeks. “Please. Just… Leave me alone. I’ll figure this out.” She opened the door and hopped down from the cab. Instead of walking to the house, she stared up at him. “Don’t come back here. If you do, I’ll call 9-1-1. Do you hear me?”
He closed his eyes and sniffed, too. “Please, Silvia—”
She slammed the truck door and ran to her house.
Inside, she let the tears fall.
Tears she’d held back for eight years gushed out in a torrent of guilt, anger, and poor-pitiful-me cries until she passed out on the carpet. Half-asleep, she vaguely registered the sound of the doggie door. She didn’t move until Harvey slobbered her with dog kisses.
“Harvey,” she cried, sitting up and wrapping her arms around him. “What are we gonna do?”
As if commanded, Harvey sat. Together on the floor, their heads reached the same height. He slapped his lips but offered no answer, just soulful brown eyes. It was like looking into Daire’s sad eyes. But she had to be harsh with Daire; she had to break off their relationship to protect him. No one was safe with her around.
Her choices had brought pain and suffering to her mother’s and sister’s lives. And now, she’d pulled Daire into her nightmare.
“Where will it end?”
Harvey just stared at her.
“I don’t know what else to do? I don’t know where to go.”
He slapped his lips again. It was his way of communicating that he didn’t understand a command, she was certain.
Silvia stood, and Harvey hopped to all fours beside her. She checked his bowls; there was still kibble in the automatic feeder. The five-gallon automatic waterer was still half-full.
“What do you want, Harvey? Don’t you know that living here is dangerous? I’m no good for you, I swear.”
He hopped off his front legs.
“I don’t understand.” But then she did. He wanted her. He’d missed her. “You want to go for a run?”
He yipped.
She lifted her hands and, as sad as she was, she felt a smile tug at her lips. “You have free reign to go anywhere you want, but you like your routine. You like to run with me?”
He yipped again.
“Okay.” A run would do her good anyway. She always thought better when she ran.
She changed clothes. All the while, Harvey ran in circles. She hadn’t gone on a run since the accident with the young boy, as she preferred to think of that day. Unlike Dominic, the young boy hadn’t meant to hurt her. He’d been protecting his home.
Shoes on, she warmed up her muscles while inside, then headed to the door, leaving her cell phone. She didn’t want music today. She needed to think. She needed to figure out what to do.
A half-hour later, she and Harvey returned. He darted for his water dish, but she was far from tired.
She spotted the virtual reality mask Daire had bought her. She would send it back to him, she decided, but not today. Today, she still felt angst inside her that she needed to expel.
She was in the mood for smashing targets. Instead of opting for punk or pop, she headed for the hard-rock tracks. The broken-dreams soundtracks.
Daire had been right about the virtual reality workout. She loved the boxing and what she called light-saber workouts. It made her feel like some small part of her was in control, if only for a few moments.
She pulled on the mask, slipped the wrist straps over her hands, tightened them until they were snug, then turned on the device. Harvey had already learned to keep his distance. He sprawled himself out on the kitchen floor, all four legs spread in different directions.
She confirmed the playing space, then searched for any new routines she hadn’t tried with a heavy metal music track.
Two songs in, she started to feel in control again. She imagined holding a real bat, imagined swinging it against Luis’s head if he came near her or someone she loved.
As she was smashing targets, the trainer announced a quote that always made her feel powerful: “The devil whispered in my ear, ‘You are not strong enough for the storm.’ Today, I whispered in the devil’s ear, ‘I am the storm.’”
Silvia paused the play. “I am the storm!”
She resumed play, and she felt her muscles tingle with new life. She swung and swung and swung. It was her first time doing this routine, but she was invincible.
“I am the storm!” she screamed loud enough for her neighbors to hear, but she didn’t care. “No one will ever hurt the ones I love again. No one will ever hurt me again. No one will ever chase me from my home again because…I am the storm!”
~ Daire ~
As much as it killed him, Daire honored Silvia’s wishes.
He didn’t show up at her house. He didn’t call. He even called LT and explained that he’d be taking a medical leave, effective immediately.
Once LT approved his request, he made the second call he needed to make. Once he got the information he needed, he made the third call.
“Hello?” the woman answered tentatively as if she were afraid to answer phone calls, but she knew she had to answer this call.
“Ava?”
“Who’s calling?” He was right. She didn’t want bill collectors to know that they had the correct phone number.
“Daire Belgarde.” He couldn’t bring himself to say, your son. He’d never be her son. And she’d never be his mother. As he’d told Silvia, she had years to come to him, but she’d waited until she needed him. He knew the attributes of a great mother. He’d seen them in Claire. Sonia, too. She’d shown her love for her two daughters repeatedly. No, Ava would never be his mother, but that wouldn’t stop him from being the hero she needed him to be. Her actions—or lack thereof—wouldn’t dictate the way he behaved. He was born to be a hero. Even if Silvia wouldn’t allow him to help her, he could still do his part and save this woman.
“Daire! Oh, Daire! I’m so glad you called.”
“Everything is set for tomorrow. Just show up at Alaska Regional at 7:00 a.m.” He’d wanted to say, I bet you are glad I called, but he held back his ire. No way would he fall for her false passion, though. She didn’t care about him, only why he was calling…what he would do for her. Sam had obviously called or texted ahead of him. Just because he would be the woman’s hero didn’t mean he had to be happy about it, did it? He almost laughed as he remembered an old sitcom he liked to watch. Two of the main characters had argued that there was no such thing as a selfless act. Well, here you are, my friends. I definitely don’t feel good about doing this.
“Daire?” Ava said, her tone soft and questioning. “Don’t you want to know why?”
“Why, what? Why you allowed me to grow up in a wonderful home with a wonderful mother and father and four older brothers who loved me? No, I don’t need to know why? I don’t care why.”
“Can we meet tonight, please? For me.”
He scoffed. “Don’t you think I’m doing enough for you? Recovery is up to seven days in the hospital, then six to eight weeks at home. I have a life, Ava, and I’m putting it all on hold to save your life.”
“Why?”
“Why, what?” he asked again.
“Why would you do this for a woman you don’t even know…one you don’t even want to know why she abandoned you?”
He sucked on his teeth, then cringed. Horrible habit. He always viewed people who did that as arrogant. He didn’t feel arrogant, though; he felt frustrated. Everything he’d witnessed so far about Ava revealed her to be a selfish, self-serving woman. One he assumed would be happy to just accept his donation without question. If he were an anonymous donor, she wouldn’t need to know why or even his name.
“Okay…” He thought about the question he really wanted to know. He didn’t care why she’d given him up when she was seventeen. In his opinion, that was actually a noble act. It would have been a lot easier for her just to abort him. He could also understand why she didn’t have the nerve to contact him when he turned eighteen. He could imagine how painful that would be. He couldn’t imagine giving up a child, then trying to form a bond once they were an adult. But there was something he couldn’t understand. Something he would always be upset at her for. She could use Sam as an excuse, but it didn’t hold water. “Why did you choose to reveal yourself when and where you did? In front of all my friends, coworkers, and family?”
“Umm…”
“Don’t hurt yourself,” he snapped. “I know exactly why. The reason I don’t care about the other reasons. You did it publicly to shame me—”
“That’s not—”
“I’m not a child, Ava. I’ve been through a lot in my short life. You knew very well that I’d have to acknowledge you if you revealed yourself in front of my friends and coworkers. Well, you’re right; I do have to acknowledge you. But not because I feel any sense of duty because you carried me into the world. I’m doing this because I’m a Belgarde and a Midnight Son. I’d do this for a stranger on the street because… I am a hero. I don’t have to prove myself to you or anyone else to know that I’m a true hero in my heart and soul.” He paused for only a second. “So, no, I don’t want to see you tonight. I’m exhausted, and I need to get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.”