Kendall usually took her horse, Beauty, for a morning ride, but that next morning she would forgo it due to her throbbing head. So she settled on stopping at the corral to greet her longtime friend before Lucas and Cord arrived.
“Morning, girl.” She ran a hand down Beauty’s white face and followed it with a kiss. “No riding for me this morning.”
Beauty whinnied as if she understood.
“But I need you to be on your best behavior today. A boy named Lucas is coming to stay with us for a little while. He’s not even a teenager, and he’s already experienced some of the most painful things life can offer. He really needs a friend. Someone he can talk to like we talk without any judgements. So be nice to him, okay, girl?”
The mare tipped her head up and peered at Kendall. “I know. I know. It’s hard to see a boy suffer.”
Kendall started to lay her forehead on Beauty’s neck but stopped. Not only would it hurt, but she would risk rubbing off the makeup she’d applied to cover the ugly purple bruise. She leaned her cheek against Beauty and closed her eyes.
Father, please let Lucas’s time at Trails End be cathartic for him. And give me the words to talk to him without falling apart and crying over his terrible tragedy but be uplifting.
The sound of tires crunching over gravel brought her eyes open. A dusty pickup rumbled up the drive to the house. She’d expected Cord to arrive in his work SUV, but she recognized his truck. He parked and hopped out, then came around to open his door, and a towheaded boy with slumped shoulders slid down.
Lucas was thin and wore a scowl as big as Texas. Cord said something to him, and his shoulders drooped more. Cord shook his head and stormed to the back of the truck to lift out duffel bags. The boy looked up and held his hand over his eyes to stare in Kendall’s direction.
She waved at him, and then beckoned him with a curl of her finger. He glanced back at Cord. Held for a long moment. Shook his head and took off at a fast clip across the yard and down to the corral.
“You must be Lucas,” Kendall said. “I’m Kendall, and this is my horse, Beauty.”
He raised a skeptical eyebrow. “She’s your very own horse?”
“Yep. I’ve had her since I was in middle school.” Kendall smiled. “You want to touch her?”
“Can I?”
“Sure. She likes to have her neck rubbed. Climb up on the fence rail and it’s easier to reach her.”
He planted a dirty sneaker on the rail and pulled up. Kendall could see his ribs poking through his shirt, and she instantly knew her grandmother would try to fatten him up, which meant lots and lots of cookies and milk.
He gently stroked Beauty’s neck. His frown evaporated, and a contented sigh slipped out. Not surprising. Horses were much like dogs in that they were often used to provide therapy. Kendall’s heart warmed at the change in the boy. Sure, it was momentary, but when you carried the weight of the world on your shoulders like Lucas clearly did, even a momentary break was priceless.
She heard footsteps approaching and looked up to see Cord stomping their way. He’d chosen to dress in his usual off-duty cowboy casual. Very fitting for their small town. His jeans and plaid shirt were worn, and a wide belt held a large silver buckle. He’d finished off the look with a well-used black Stetson, but she could still see his eyes, and she took a sharp breath at the anger there.
He stopped in front of them and looked up at Lucas. “You can’t run off like that in a strange place, Lucas.”
Lucas’s calm demeanor evaporated. “I don’t know what the big deal is. You could see me, right?”
“Not the point. You need to respect the fact that I have to know where you are at all times.”
Lucas rolled his eyes. “I’m twelve, not a baby.”
Cord started working his jaw muscle hard, and he looked like he’d reached the end of his rope.
Poor Cord. Poor Lucas. Both of them lost and confused on how to treat each other. Her heart broke for them and the heavy weight of their grief that neither of them knew what to do with. Her aunt Isabel came to mind.
Would Kendall soon know grief, too? Her cousins know the loss of a parent?
Oh, God, no. Spare Isabel. Please.
Kendall needed to be more present in her cousins’ lives. To make a point of supporting them and being there for them if they needed to talk. Or cry. Sure, Seth and Dylan wouldn’t cry in front of her, but Carly and Raina might.
And Cord and Lucas? What about them? Could she help them, too?
She didn’t have any real experience with kids other than through babysitting, but she would do whatever she could to help the two of them work through their struggles while they were staying at the ranch. Starting right now by trying to put Cord at ease.
“Good morning, Cord,” she said, making sure she sounded glad to see him.
He jerked his focus from Lucas and lifted off his hat to slap it on his knee before settling it back on. “Morning. Nice day.”
His still-angry tone didn’t at all match his words. She reached out to touch his arm. His focus locked on to her and zeroed in like a rifle scope. His gaze heated up, telegraphing what her touch seemed to do to him.
She hadn’t meant for that to lead him there. She dropped her hand and faced Lucas. “Do you know how to ride?”
“Yeah, my dad taught me.” His frown deepened.
Great start, Kendall.
“Would you like to go for a ride?” she asked, willing to endure the pain to cheer up this hurting kid.
His frown disappeared, his eyes coming alive with excitement. “Can we?”
“We have time for a quick one, right, Cord?” She gave him a pointed look.
For a sharp detective, he seemed oblivious to her signals and seemed ready to say no. She nodded firmly, telling him to agree.
A light dawned in his eyes. “Yeah. Sure. A quick ride is fine.”
“Then let’s go saddle up the horses.” She started toward the barn, and Beauty followed along the rail.
“Cool, she’s following you.” Lucas laughed.
“We ride every morning, so she knows what’s coming up.”
Lucas rushed up next to Kendall and looked up at her. “Can I come with you every day while I’m here?”
“Sure, as long as it’s okay with your uncle.”
“Do I have your permission?” His tone was snippy as he shifted his gaze to Cord.
Cord winced but nodded.
Their relationship was worse than she had thought. And if Lucas took that tone around her dad or granddad, even though he wasn’t part of the family, the boy would be told in no uncertain terms that this kind of disrespect was unacceptable at Trails End. Perhaps he didn’t need to be dealt with like that right now, but on the other hand, he could be pushing boundaries like kids did. If the right time presented itself later, she would mention that to Cord.
She stepped into the barn and inhaled the sweet scent of hay that brought back so many wonderful memories. If she ever had to leave her deputy job and couldn’t work in IT, then she’d find a job with horses.
“Cord, you can ride Gavin’s horse. The black stallion at the end. His name is Lightning. He’s a bit temperamental, but I know you have the skills to handle him. Go ahead and help yourself to the tack. It’s all labeled.”
He glanced into the tack room. “You the one who keeps it all so organized?”
“Granddad’s in charge out here, but I’m totally thankful he’s organized.” Kendall grabbed a pad and Beauty’s saddle.
“Which one do I get to ride?” Lucas asked.
“Beauty seems to like you, so I thought you might like to take her,” Kendall said instead of mentioning she was the gentlest horse on the ranch.
“But who will you ride?”
“Probably my mom’s horse, Sunrise. Or even Thunderbolt. He belongs to my dad.”
“Okay, cool.” Lucas took the saddle from her hands, and once she’d settled the pad on Beauty’s back, he hefted the saddle up. He might be scrawny looking but he was strong. He reached for the cinch, and it was clear that he knew what he was doing.
Kendall went back to grab the rest of the gear. “I’m sure Granddad could use a hand while you’re here if you want to help out with the horses.”
“That would be cool.” He glanced up at Cord. “Unless there’s a reason I can’t do that, either.”
Cord grimaced. “Helping out while we’re here sounds like a good idea. I can help, too.”
Lucas lowered his head, but not before Kendall saw his scowl.
“You’re going to be busy enough with the investigation,” she said to Cord and gave him a pointed look. “We can’t ask more of you.”
“Oh, right, yeah. I should probably stick to the investigation.”
Lucas’s head popped back up, and he took the bridle from Kendall.
“Thank you,” Cord mouthed to her over the back of Gavin’s stallion, who was prancing to get out of the barn.
She nodded, and she felt all warm and fuzzy inside from being able to help the pair if only the littlest bit. Problem was, she wasn’t the kind of person who did things halfway. Give her a bit of success like this, and she would try even harder.
And then? Then she figured, in the long run, it might help the guys, but it was only going to cause her pain.
* * *
The sun was shining as they trotted over McKade land stretching out for miles, and Cord wished the invigorating ride could erase the terse moments with Lucas. Cord was embarrassed at how his nephew talked to him, and yet he didn’t feel like he should discipline him. Maybe he was wrong, though, because Lucas was getting worse instead of better. Turning into a rude, sarcastic kid. But only with Cord. With others, like Kendall, he was polite and kind.
Cord swallowed down his sigh and looked at the pair of them talking about Trails End and how the ranch had been in the McKade family for generations. He actually looked like the warm, sweet kid Cord had known before the plane crash.
Just the thought of the crash made feelings of the loss well up inside, and he bit down on his cheek to keep it at bay. And there—right there—was the reason he couldn’t find it in his heart to discipline Lucas. Cord’s grief left him feeling lower than a rattlesnake’s belly. So, how must Lucas feel? He was only twelve. Twelve. A kid. One who should be enjoying life, living without a care, not being bogged down by unending grief.
They reached the corral and dismounted. Cord instantly missed the cool breeze as temps had already hit the mideighties. Kendall’s grandfather, Jed McKade, stood waiting outside the barn door. His cowboy hat was tipped back, revealing silvery hair. He was dressed in the usual jeans and boots most ranchers wore. Cord had to admire the older guy for still being fit and active at his age.
Kendall led her mother’s horse toward her grandfather. “Lucas, this is my granddad, Jed.”
Jed smiled, tightening laugh lines near his eyes, and held out his hand for the reins. “Glad to meet you, young man.”
“Kendall said I can help you with the horses.” Lucas’s tone was the most excited Cord had heard from him of late, warming Cord’s heart.
Jed smiled. “’Course you can. Don’t tell her, but I’m not as spry as I once was and am glad for some help.”
“Um…um…” He glanced up at Kendall and then back at Jed. “She’s right there.”
“Oh, yeah, right.” Jed winked.
Lucas giggled.
Jed faced Cord, his smile infectious. “Leave Lucas with me, and we’ll get the horses settled.”
Cord nodded his thanks and gave Lightning’s reins to the older man. He didn’t really feel right about not caring for a horse he’d ridden, but with Eve missing, he’d make an exception and use this time to locate her.
Kendall patted Lucas’s shoulder. “See you later, Lucas.”
“Later,” he replied, but he was already walking into the barn with Jed.
Cord fell into step with Kendall. “You’re real good with him.”
She smiled, that innocent country-girl smile that had always sent his heart beating. “Thanks, but I honestly don’t have any idea what I’m doing.”
“Me, neither, but then, that’s obvious.”
She nibbled on her lip for a moment, indecision claiming her expression. “At the risk of offending you, can I make a suggestion?”
“Suggest away.”
“When Lucas pushes you, he could be testing to see if you’re going to set limits for him.” She paused for a moment. “I may be all wrong, but when I took babysitting classes, they said that kids need boundaries because they can’t set them for themselves. And if they don’t have them, then the world is too big for them, and they lose control.”
“Interesting.” He let the thought roll around his brain. “Lucas has lost so much, and I haven’t wanted to make him feel worse.”
“Maybe if you think about the boundaries making him feel better, it will be easier to do.”
“Yeah, maybe.” He shook his head. “It’s really hard to go from the cool uncle who gets to spoil him to a dad who has to set rules. Especially when he blames me for his parents’ death.”
“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. Not at all. So if what I said makes no sense, I won’t be the least offended if you tell me to mind my own business.”
“No, I’m glad for the help. I’ll give it some thought.” He let that sigh out now as he couldn’t seem to control it. “Lucas might need professional help. He went once. Blew the guy off, and now whenever I suggest it, he gets even angrier. Still, I won’t give up on it.”
“Maybe he thinks if he works through his grief and feels better, he’s somehow being disloyal to his parents.”
“Yeah, I get that. So much to consider.” He stopped by his truck and toed his boot into the ground. “But right now we have Eve to focus on.”
Kendall eyed him, and he could easily read her thoughts on his change of subject.
“You’re right,” he said before she could speak “I’m running away from dealing with this every chance I get. Otherwise, I might pull my hair out. So go with me on it right now, okay? And let’s focus on Eve.”
“Of course. Just know, if you want to talk, I’m here.”
He nodded.
“I think it’s best if we start the day prioritizing our leads so we don’t waste time. We can work in Dad’s office.”
“Let me grab my notepad, and I’ll be in in a second.”
“Just come on in. His office is at the end of the hall.”
He stood there for a moment, watching her climb the stairs to the long ranch house painted a crisp white with black shutters. She opened the screen door, and it snapped closed behind her.
The sound of the door took him back to the first time he’d seen this place. Walt had held an annual department barbeque that Cord attended while he and Kendall were dating. He’d been eager to see where she’d grown up, as he’d only known Walt as a sheriff, not Kendall’s dad.
Right away he could see that the property was lovingly cared for. And her family was so warm and welcoming that he knew that was where Kendall got her open and trusting personality. But he’d ruined that. He’d let his domineering nature push her away. He always had to be right and have his way. In every single thing.
A night out? Yeah, he had to plan it to be sure nothing bad could happen. Even a day hiking on nearby mountain trails. If Kendall wanted to go on the spur of the moment, he put it off until he could make sure he’d planned for every situation they could find themselves in. She was so spontaneous, and he sucked the life out of that with his planning.
He shook his head and went to his truck, memories of his own childhood on a ranch much like this one flashing back. When he was ten, he’d left the gate open and their dog, Sparky, ran into the road. Cord’s youngest brother, only five at the time, had chased after Sparky. A truck hit both of them. Sparky lived, but Danny didn’t. All Cord’s fault. Every bit of it. He could never let anything bad happen again, so he’d taken to controlling life to get through the day. But Kendall didn’t cotton to that, and he’d honestly wanted to change for her. He just couldn’t.
He grabbed his notepad and resisted another shake of his head. He’d been so young and foolish with Kendall. No matter his efforts, he’d still lost her. Not to death, but from his life. Since they’d broken up, he’d worked on being less bossy. And he’d made some progress.
Then the plane crash had set him back. Made things worse, actually. Now he was so mixed up that he didn’t know which end was up. He just reacted in the moment, each and every moment of every day, which for Lucas was probably a bad thing.
And now? Now he could lose Eve because he hadn’t made time to talk to her when she needed him. Could he live with that added guilt, too? No way. It would surely break him.
He left the duffel bags by the truck and took his leather portfolio that had seen him through many investigations up the stairs and inside the cool house. It felt wrong to enter without knocking, but Kendall had told him to come in. The smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air. He hoped Lucas ate his share as he didn’t eat much these days, and Cord worried about that, too.
“Hey,” Kendall called from the dining room. “Dad’s in his office, so we need to set up in here.”
Cord placed his portfolio on the farm-style table that looked like it had been in the family for generations. Strong and resilient, just like the McKades seemed to be.
“I left our bags outside. If you tell me where to take them before we leave, I’ll drop them off.”
“Sure thing.”
A door swung open, and Kendall’s mother entered. Cord always thought it was sweet how Kendall was the spitting image of Winnie, minus the gray strands of hair and the wrinkles from the harsh Texas sun.
“Oh, Cord. Hi.” Winnie gave her daughter a pointed look. “I didn’t know you’d arrived.”
“We haven’t been here long.” He smiled, hoping she’d look at him and stop giving Kendall the stinkeye for not letting her know they were here. “Lucas is down at the barn helping Jed.”
“That’s nice of him. Jed can always use help.” She shoved a key ring into her jean pocket. “Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
“I don’t want to be a bother, but that would be great. Black, please. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Kendall raised an eyebrow.
Cord got the point. “You don’t have to say anything. It was all my fault for not listening to you and driving back sooner.”
“Oh, my.” Winnie grinned and fanned her face. “He’s polite and admits when he’s wrong. Don’t let him get away, Kendall.”
“Mom! We’re colleagues. Nothing more.” Kendall crossed her arms.
Her mother chuckled, and the lighthearted sound trailed after her as she went back into the kitchen.
Cord had always liked Winnie, and Kendall seemed to take after her in personality, too. “Your mom seems to have a mischievous streak.”
Kendall frowned. “And a matchmaking streak. So does my nana. So be warned—that won’t be the last comment you’ll hear.”
Cord was already having too many romantic thoughts about Kendall, and he didn’t need her family to encourage them.
Winnie returned with a tray that held a piping-hot cup of coffee and a plate with a frosted blueberry pastry. She set it on the table next to Kendall. “I added a big slice of Betty’s coffee cake.”
“Thank you.” His mouth watering for the baked good, he sat down by the tray. He had the feeling Winnie placed it where she did so he would sit by her daughter.
Winnie got her keys out. “I’m heading into town for groceries. Do you or Lucas have any special dietary needs?”
He picked up his mug. “You don’t have to cook for us. I assume there’s a kitchen at the cabin.”
“Betty’s our cook, and she insists on you eating with us. She’d take her cleaver to me if she found out I let you guys fend for yourselves.”
The image of Kendall’s grandmother chasing Winnie with a cleaver made Cord laugh. It’d been so long since he’d genuinely laughed and felt so at home that he took a moment to savor the feeling before answering. “We don’t need anything special.”
Cord took a sip of the coffee, which was strong—exactly the way he liked it.
Winnie changed her focus to Kendall. “What about you, honey? Anything you want while you’re here?”
“You mean besides all my favorite comfort foods that I know Nana will make for me?” Kendall grinned.
“Yeah, besides that.”
“No. I’m good.”
“Then be back in a few.” Winnie departed.
“I like your family.” Cord chomped off a huge piece of his coffee cake. “Like this, too.”
When Kendall didn’t say anything, he washed his bite down with a swallow of coffee and tried to wait her out, but she sat quietly for so long, he gave in and had to know what was going through her head. “What is it?”
She met his gaze, sadness radiating from her every pore. “I was wondering if it’s hard to be with my family. You’ve experienced so much loss, and I don’t know how you go on.”
He set down his cup, his appetite gone. “Some days I honestly don’t know if I can. But Lucas needs me. He may not think he does, but he does. And Eve. She needs me—us—too. I tried to check in with her on a regular basis. I really did. But I…” He couldn’t say more and let his words fall off.
“Hey.” Kendall pressed her hand over his. “You did your best. That’s all you can expect of yourself.”
He eyed her. “Is that what you expect of yourself?”
“No, but I—”
“We’re cut from the same cloth, Kendall. You know that and so do I. We set high standards for ourselves and aren’t very forgiving when we fail.”
“But you didn’t fail. So cut yourself some slack.”
He didn’t agree with her, but there was no point in arguing when his focus needed to be squarely on locating Eve. He closed off thoughts of his past life before he started bawling like a baby and opened his portfolio. “Top priority is visiting Eve’s friends at church. If anyone knows where she might be, it would be them. They volunteer in the mornings, so we should be able to catch them now.”
He slipped his pen from the holder and jotted it down on the pad under a To Do heading.
“I’m meeting with the sketch artist this morning,” Kendall said. “It’s a priority to get that distributed so deputies can be on the lookout for the suspect.”
“Agreed.” He added it to the page. “Reviewing Eve’s expenditures is the best way to track her recent movements, so we need to go to the bank.”
“The computer and phone are biggies, too. I should check on their progress after the sketch.”
He added both items and bank accounts to the notepad. “What else?”
“That’s a good beginning, don’t you think?”
He nodded. “Then let’s get to it.”
He stood and picked up his tray.
“I’m warning you. Finish the coffee cake or leave the tray on the table.” Kendall looked like she wanted to laugh. “You won’t want to have to explain to my nana why you didn’t eat her coffee cake.”
“Then I’d best eat it, as my mother taught me to be polite, and I can’t leave the tray here. And I sure don’t want to disappoint Betty.” He set the tray down and reached for the slice.
Kendall beat him to it and shoved the whole piece into his mouth. He got that she was trying to improve his mood, and he appreciated it. She grinned, that mischievous smile that had made life so interesting when they’d been together. He tried to return the gesture, but his mouth was too full. He chewed and was finally able to take a sip of the coffee. “You know I’m going to figure out a way to get back at you.”
He laughed, and the smile he received in return stole his breath, taking him back to the days when they were a couple, and he was on the receiving end of smiles meant just for him. Personal. Secretive. Promising.
In this moment, he could almost remember what hope felt like. Hope for something good. He sure could remember what it felt like to be interested in a woman, and he had no doubt his current expression was openly transmitting those same feelings.
Kendall’s smile evaporated, and she grabbed the tray. “I’ll drop this off in the kitchen so we can get going.”
Right. What was he thinking, hoping for anything with her?
She didn’t want to be with him now any more than she had after their breakup, and if he didn’t get that through his thick head, he’d find himself on the end of another big heartache—the very last thing he needed.