Laura owed Seth an explanation. Actually, Josh owed both of them explanations. But he wasn’t here and Laura just couldn’t believe that he was anything less than the good man she knew. Seth was asking the same questions that were pounding inside her own head, though. Because they both needed to know why they were suffering like this.
And Laura could tell that Seth was trying very hard not to pressure her. To let her sit with the idea that this was all some kind of mistake. She appreciated that.
That is what made Laura try to answer his question. “I know it doesn’t make sense. The key was in Josh’s things. Mahoney came because of the key. The man is an awful criminal. But there is no way Josh was involved with him. It is just not possible.” She held herself very still as she waited for Seth to respond. This was the part where he accused her of being naive and delusional.
“Okay.”
Okay? He just said okay?
“I believe you, Laura.” He leaned back fully and stretched his legs out a bit more. He did not look threatening and his posture was almost comforting. Inviting. “Tell me why you’re so sure Josh was not involved.”
Even though it seemed Seth was not going to become her adversary, she still felt completely unsettled. Laura took a deep breath and felt Abby slightly trembling in her lap. Regret overflowed in Laura’s heart. She had wanted so much for her child. Safety and security. Giggles. Arts and crafts, and pudding and cookies. Friends. Instead, her girl had lost her father. She’d been yanked away from all she knew to live alone on a mountain. And now they were running for their lives. Even though Laura had not told Abby about the danger, the child was well aware that things were bad. And scary.
She began to run her fingers through Abby’s hair, smoothing. In theory, the actions were meant to soothe the small girl, who looked confused and scared. It was something Laura often did when Abby was upset. But it worked both ways. Laura’s own breath evened out. Some of the painful stiffness in her shoulders began to melt away.
“First, Josh wouldn’t break the law. He was a Christian.”
“Christians can mess up, Laura. They can make mistakes.” He sounded like he was walking through a house of booby traps and Laura almost felt sorry for him. Except it was her life that was blowing up.
“I know. I know. Josh wasn’t perfect. He was as human and fallible as the rest of us. But his faith was strong. He is the one who helped me come to terms with my own faith. He was a good man, Seth.”
Seth was just looking at her. Watching. Laura kept moving her hands through Abby’s hair. Soothing them both.
Seth nodded slowly. “Okay. In our current situation, it doesn’t really matter. There’s a safe-deposit box out there that Mahoney wants bad enough to kill three people and set a mountain on fire. That’s a good lead we can give to the police.”
“If we ever make it to the police.”
Seth slid over to where Laura was, angling his body so he was sitting next to her as much as possible in the small area. He took her hand in both of his. Her other hand slid out of Abby’s hair and into her lap. Seth squeezed her hand gently and then let go to put his arm around Laura’s shoulders. He was holding both her and Abby in a gentle, supportive hug.
The residual tension left Laura’s body altogether and she rested all her weight against him. Her head fell back against her shoulder and she turned in to his body, breathing in his warm scent and listening to the steady beating of his heart. Tears welled up and spilled over.
Laura didn’t want to cry. Not here, stuck in a literal hole. Not in front of Abby. Not when she felt so weak. But she couldn’t stop the tears. It was all too much. She had not been safe out in the real world and she had not been safe back home on the mountain. There was nowhere she was safe. Worse, there was nowhere she could keep her daughter safe. Her daughter was in danger, it was somehow her fault and there was nothing anyone could do.
The only person who had ever been able to make her feel safe was her dad. And he was gone.
She muffled her sobs in Seth’s chest and felt him wrap his arms to more completely embrace her and Abby. Abby’s little hands patted her on the back and she cried harder that her sweet daughter was comforting her instead of the other way around. When it was over, and she could hear beyond the cries of her own heart, she became aware that Seth was murmuring to Abby.
“Your mommy is fine, honey. She’s just feeling sad and sometimes we cry when we’re sad. But she is okay. She loves you and everything is going to be okay.”
Laura laughed and moved her arms to complete the group hug. She felt better, as though she had bled out some of her pain. “Seth is right, honey. I’m okay. I just got sad for a minute, but I’m okay.” Laura lifted her head and looked at Abby, cupping her chin with one hand and stroking her cheek with the other. “Are you okay, baby?”
Abby nodded and hugged her even tighter. Laura looked at Seth. She didn’t want to peer in his eyes and see whatever was lurking there, but she owed him that much. But looking made her even more confused. She thought she saw affection. And sympathy.
He should hate her for dragging him into this mess. But he didn’t act like he hated her at all. Laura added that to the list of things to figure out once this whole mess was over.
“What do we do, Seth?”
His hand was rubbing her shoulder, and Laura was leaning into it. She had missed the touch of another person, of someone who was not Abby. She had not had physical contact with someone besides Abby since her dad died. It had been months. It suddenly felt like it had been decades.
“Priority one remains getting off this mountain. We keep on with our plan, staying in the trees as much as possible, tracking the river, heading over the mountain.”
Laura nodded. So much had happened and yet they were still in the same place. They still had the same objective. The same plan. It was back to her. Her turn to step up and do her part, use her knowledge of this place to get all three of them to safety.
Laura had felt like throwing up when that man had called dibs on killing Seth. And when he talked about her forthcoming painful death. But she couldn’t think about those things now. If she let fear cripple her, she might as well walk out there and turn herself in to Mahoney.
“How did you know they were there? I didn’t see a thing.” That part had really been bothering her. The first indication she had that something was wrong was when Seth made it clear they needed to get out of there and hide as fast as possible. How was she supposed to lead them to safety if she couldn’t even tell when the enemy was close by? She was supposed to be the expert out in these woods. She should know when humans were present, especially since it was such a rare event. Yet, she had not even known for sure what they were running from.
“I saw a reflection. I wasn’t positive it was them—I just knew the sun was hitting something metal out there. And I knew metal didn’t belong in these woods.”
“I didn’t see that. I completely missed it.”
“Hey, Laura, look at me. No, really look at me.” She did. “That’s not your fault. You had Abby. You had to map out our path. You had a lot to do. I’m not blaming you. It’s not your job to do everything.”
“I know.” But she should have seen sun reflecting off metal. If she missed that, would she miss a more subtle sign? Would she lead them right to the men? Lead Abby and Seth to their deaths? If that happened, Laura would never forgive herself.
* * *
She said she knew it wasn’t her fault, but Seth could see the truth in her eyes. Laura was feeling like a failure. She was blaming herself.
Seth had felt fairly helpless for the last two days. Unable to step up and make it right. But this was something he could try to fix. Something he needed to resolve, right now. “Laura, please listen. Really, really listen.”
She looked at him and there was fear in her eyes. That was unacceptable. Completely unacceptable.
“It’s not your job to do anything. I know you’ve been taking the lead on this. That we’ve needed to rely on you because you have the expertise on this mountain. But you’re not alone. And I’m not helpless.”
As he spoke, some emotions rose up inside that he hadn’t been aware of carrying. Hadn’t known were lurking in his heart. A kind of defensiveness. A need to prove that he was a capable man, strong and able to protect them.
He had hurt his family and had run because he could not figure out a way to make things right. He’d felt like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs for a very long time. But he wasn’t that. “I’m a grown man who grew up in the Oregon woods. I’m a trained park ranger. I have outdoor skills, too. Hunting and tracking. Navigating in the forest.”
She was looking at him, and he saw her throat move as she swallowed.
“You have the knowledge of this mountain, and I am beyond thankful for that. But no one person can do this, Laura. No one person should have to do this. I’m here, and I am more than just another body. I want to help. I need you to let me help.”
She was still listening. Still looking at him. Here, in this enclosure, with that sweet child on her lap, Laura looked very small. Very alone. But she wasn’t alone right now, and Seth suspected that she had been alone in the past for far too long. He knew all about that.
He’d been alone, too.
And Seth was tired of it. He had a family back home. A family who loved him. Wanted him. And he ran because he couldn’t swallow his pride. Accept their help. Avoid taking his anger at his wounds out on them. Laura did not have any of that. They were both suffering from the same thing but Seth’s was self-inflicted. He’d known he had made a mistake about a week after he’d left. Then, he had spent more than a year telling himself he needed to live with the choices he made. Now, though, after all this running, of watching this incredible woman, Seth decided that he was going to try to fix his mistakes. If God gave him another chance, he would not take it for granted.
Seth tried to put every ounce of his determination and sincerity into his voice. “You worry about keeping us on course and helping us find a safe place when we need it. I’ll worry about whether the fire is catching up or where those men are. We’re a team, and that means you can rely on me for some things. In fact, I want you to rely on me. Please.”
“Okay.” It was whispered, but Seth thought she was perhaps shy instead of hesitant. Something shifted in his soul; something happened in this space. He was more open. Hopefully that shyness on Laura’s part meant she picked up on it, too.
But they had to get off this mountain. It was literally on fire. Their escape options were shrinking. And these men were not going to give up anytime soon. That was okay, because Seth was not going to give up, either. And he would put his will up against someone else’s any day of the week.
Seth was feeling alive again, the blood pumping hard through his veins. But this time it wasn’t pumping with fear. Nope. This time his body was surging with determination. “So this area was just searched again.” His voice was brisk. No nonsense. It was time to set aside emotion and focus on the mission. They needed to get out of this cave. “That probably means it’s safe, for now.”
“Yeah, but they know the fire is closing us in. They are using it. The search area is getting smaller and smaller.”
“You’re right. So we need to up our level of caution. And that river is becoming much more viable as a Plan B.”
“I really don’t want to cross it with Abby.”
“Me, either. But if it comes to that, we’ll do it. And it will be okay.”
“Okay. We have about four hours of daylight left. Traveling in the dark is sounding better and better to me.”
“Agreed. So let’s go. We’ll be careful, but we’re going to keep moving. If you know of any more of these hidey-holes, a route that takes us past them might be worth a slight delay.”
“You think we’re going to run into more men.”
Seth paused. But he would not lie to her. “Yes. I do. But they seem to be completely lost in the woods, and that will definitely work in our favor. They don’t seem to know how to track. Or how to move quietly. We’ll use that.”
Laura breathed in deeply and sighed it out. Seth almost smiled as he watched the slump leave her shoulders. He could practically feel her gathering herself up. She shifted, putting Abby on her feet, and whispered to her. Seth could hear her telling Abby that they were going to go outside again. That they still needed to be as quiet as possible. That it was dangerous, but Seth and Mommy were going to keep her safe from the bad men.
Seth couldn’t see Abby’s eyes, but he watched Laura look intently into them. Then she smiled and kissed Abby on the forehead. Laura looked at Seth. “Okay. We’re ready. Let’s go.”
Seth lifted the flap up slowly, and peeked outside. He saw nothing unusual. Heard nothing but the normal sounds of the forest. The smell of smoke had become constant, but the sky still looked blue.
He held out a finger to Laura, gesturing for her to wait while he checked it out. He kept his weapon at his side, but was ready to lift it and use it if needed. He lowered the flap, concealing Laura and Abby inside as much as possible. After walking around for a couple of minutes, Seth felt confident that it was as safe as it could be in their current circumstances. He holstered his gun.
He opened the flap and saw relief take over Laura’s face. “It’s okay. We’re clear.”
Laura came out, and Seth automatically reached down to carry Abby. She came without hesitation, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in the space between his shoulder and his face.
Laura started to walk ahead of them, but Seth reached out and took her hand. She looked surprised, but she didn’t pull away. They moved forward then, a little group of three. Laura was still in the lead. Seth was looking all around, trying to make sure he would see if they ran into the men again.
He knew he was being ridiculous, but he was thankful Laura was going along with it right now. He was going into the territory of hypervigilance. There was a fine line between being aware and getting paranoid. Between observing your surroundings and stressing your body out so much that it began to misfire. Stopped functioning the way it should. Seth forced himself to take it back a step. He squeezed Laura’s hand and then let go, wrapping both arms around Abby.
As much as he had liked walking with her warm hand in his, he knew this was better for their safety. He was able to keep up and observe their surroundings a little better. He could watch his footing while holding Abby.
Laura gave him a concerned look, and he just smiled at her. He tried to look reassuring, but was glad he didn’t have a mirror to see if it worked or not. It must not have been too bad of an approximation, though, because Laura smiled back and continued leading the way.
She was going a different way than before. They were still in the cover of the trees, but they weren’t on the route they’d been on when Seth first saw the shining reflection. He reached out and touched her back. “Why are we headed a different way?” His voice was as soft as he could make it and still have it be audible. He felt bad questioning her, but he wanted to understand where they were going as best he could without actually knowing what the land looked like up here.
“I’m still taking us in the same direction, but I want to incorporate possible hiding places into our route.” Her voice was so soft that Seth only understood what she was saying by looking at her lips while listening. He nodded and gave her a thumbs-up sign, and she started walking again.
For all that being a hermit’s daughter had caused Laura pain in her life, it seemed like it was the very thing that would save theirs. Her knowledge of these woods was so complete that it was almost unbelievable. Even people who lived on the other side of the mountain probably didn’t know their land as well. It was one thing to live in a place. It was another thing entirely to have that place be your whole world. This mountain had been Laura’s whole world for a very, very long time.
The trees thinned out and Seth tried to see if he could tell where they were on the mountain. There were small patches of snow that had not melted scattered here and there, indicating that they were making progress in their goal to go up. Even though it was spring, the snow would probably get heavier the higher they went. But snow was good because up was good.
The heavy canopy over them finally gave way and Seth found he was ready for blue sky. A reminder that there was a whole world out there for them. More than tree after tree.
Instead, he saw smoke. Thick, heavy. The entire sky was black.