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PRINCIPLE 1:
Do not compromise
Chris says compromise is the easy way out. "No deal is better than a bad deal" he proclaims.
PRINCIPLE 2:
Bring up a deadline
Humans are heavily pain-avoidant. Adding deadlines heightens the perception of negative consequences, thus forcing the other side to come to an agreement sooner, because they think they'll risk losing the deal altogether.
NOTE: When you are on the receiving end of deadlines, understand that they are often given false importance. They are often arbitrary, flexible, and hardly trigger the negative consequences that are often suggested.
2 Criteria for Gauging the importance of a given deadline:
PRINCIPLE 3:
Strategically use the word "fair" and don't fall prey to it
Organisms are often swayed by how much they perceive they are being respected.
Consider starting the conversation with "I want you to feel like you are being treated fairly at all times, so please stop me at any time if you feel I'm being unfair, and we'll address that."
NOTE: This principle is also addressed in “Getting to Yes”. One of the principles suggest that we get the other party to agree on the way in which you'll both arrive at a decision. The way Chris addresses it here is more subtle, and works on the emotions.
If the word "fair” is used against you, respond with:
"Fair? It seems like you're ready to provide evidence that supports that?"
Chris found that this response often gets them to contradict their claim that their offer is “fair”. Their response to this question often gives you more data to work with too.
When you know the emotional drivers of the other side, you can then frame the deal in language that will get the other party to agree with your solution.
PRINCIPLE 4:
Persuade the other party that they have something to lose if the deal falls through
People are drawn to sure things over probabilities.
This was identified in 1979 by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky.
They discovered that people are more likely to take risk to avoid loss than to gain reward. This is called loss aversion.
STEP 1: perform an accusation audit from empathy principle 2 (this reminds them of possible loss and prepares them with low expectations)
STEP 2: let them go first (what the other party has in mind might be a better deal than what you are currently willing to concede)
STEP 3: use a range. Bring up another deal similar to the one you're negotiating. This helps them to adjust their expectation. It also highlights potential while avoiding agitating their defenses. (Chris noticed that giving fixed numbers appears to agitate defenses.)
NOTE: make sure the lowest end of the range is “the price” you are willing to pay
STEP 4: avoid a heavy focus on financial bargaining
if anchor high combine your offer with other benefits to make it sound reasonable
STEP 5: When you talk about numbers, use odd number. It makes it seem like it is more accurate or took deliberation.
STEP 6: introduce an unrelated gift when you get push back. This activates the human need to reciprocate when they've been done a favor
3 THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN NEGOTIATING A SALARY
1) Be respectfully persistent on non-monetary terms ( your skills, etc. )
2) Once you've both arrived at an acceptable agreement, clarify the expectations of your job role AND discuss what is necessary for a future raise.
3) Sell yourself as someone who values their opinion (“what does it take to be successful here?”)
