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The goal of negotiation isn't to simply get a “yes”, its also to guarantee that the agreement can be executed. We can do this by focusing on the “how”
“Yes is nothing without how” - Chris Voss
PRINCIPLE 1:
Ask a number of "how" questions
“How” helps you to lead the conversation indirectly. Be very aware of your vocal tone, because some “how” questions can come of accusatory.
REASON: Gives the illusion of control and respect. It also buys time to develop rapport, and get more information on their desires.
NOTE: "How" questions are an indirect way of saying "no". It then forces the other party to drive a solution. (once again, seducing them to your solution, instead of forcing them into it)
The most ideal result is getting them to vocalize your solution in their own words. This gives them the impression that it is their idea.
PRINCIPLE 2:
Ask a version of these 2 questions
Once you get an answer, summarize their answers until you elicit a "That's Right"
PRINCIPLE 3:
Ask Calibrated Question to Identify The Team's Desires
As we talked about in the last section, its important to consider the team of people who will be influenced by the negotiation. They can often interfere with the terms even after an agreement has been made.
Ask versions of the following questions:
PRINCIPLE 4:
Address in-congruence in spoken word compared to body language
Pay more attention to the nonverbal cues than the words.
( “7-38-55” is a rule coined by a psych professor by the name of Albert Mehrabian that suggests that communication is 7% verbal 38% tone 55% body language )
When you notice in-congruence, mirror the other party's words and label them via a question.
EXAMPLE:
I noticed you said "yes", but it seems like you were hesitant.
PRINCIPLE 5:
Get the other party to agree to the same thing 3 times
This helps you identify whether or not you are getting a false yes (as we discussed in principle 3)
Here are what the 3 agreements might look like:
Agreement 1 = the first time they agree
Agreement 2 = label and summarize to get a "that's right"
Agreement 3 = a calibrated "what" or "how" question that gets them to explain the implementation
PRINCIPLE 6:
Look out for extra wordiness, complex explanations, and the avoidance of the word "i"
People who are lying tend to be concerned about being believed, so they often compensate through distracting and deflecting responsibility by avoiding the word “I”
PRINCIPLE 7:
Pay attention to the use of pronouns
Chris noticed that the easier someone uses "i" or "my" or "me", the less important they are to the negotiation. The more someone uses "they" "she" "he" the more important they are to the negotiation.
The decision maker often wants to avoid being pinned down in a negotiation so deflecting to others can help them feel protected.
PRINCIPLE 8:
Use your name in the introduction
Introducing yourself by name helps to humanize you, and indirectly elicits empathy.
PRINCIPLE 9:
Get people to bid against themselves
Say "no" indirectly by progressing through the following statements:
(1) “How am I suppose to do that?”
(2) “Your offer is very generous. I'm sorry, that just doesn't work for me.”
(3) “I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I just can't do that"
(4) “No” (last resort)
