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In every negotiation it is important to identify:
The known knowns
The known unknowns
The unknown unknowns (most important) < “the black swans”
Chris spends some time urging us to get rid of assumptions and be aware of allowing what we believe we currently know to interfere or blind us to what we don't yet know.
Its important to convince the other party they have something to lose in order to increase your leverage.
3 ways to prime your brain to look for the unknown unknowns
3 types of leverage you can get from identifying the unknown unknown
control of what they want. You have the ability to provide or withhold
ability to create suffering
NOTE: when someone has negative leverage over you, label their leverage with an "it seems.."
EX: "It seems like you don't care what position you leave me in."
reflecting inconsistencies in the other party's argument
It is important to understand the other sides world view (emotional world view) so that you can word your argument from their world view. This often results in feelings of validation.
Chris describes their worldview as their “religion”
Understanding their “religion” = understanding their vulnerabilities.
Seek out things that conflict with what you've identified their religion to be.
MAIN PRINCIPLE:
Sometimes the other party will struggle to come to an agreement. This is often not because they are trying to be difficult, but because they are missing something. It is important to identify the blocks that are preventing the other person from coming to an agreement.
Here are a few to consider:
