Chapter Eleven
Leticia battled guilt until she submitted to her conscience and telephoned Kenyetta. “Hi, Ken. Mark called me night before last to tell me that my grandfather died. The funeral is Tuesday.”
“What? How come nobody told me?”
“I don’t know. Anyhow, I’m telling you now in case you want to go.”
Leticia could almost smell her cousin’s rising irritation over not having received personal notification from somebodyin New Orleans. An announcement from anybody there would have satisfied her.
“How can I go? Today’s Sunday, and I don’t have time to shop.”
Leticia released a long breath and looked toward the ceilingas if asking for patience. “Why do you need to shop, Kenyetta? You won’t be going to a grand ball, and all the men at the ceremonies will be your relatives.”
“Hmph. I know you don’t care how you look, Leticia, but I do.”
She didn’t see the point in a verbal spar with her cousin. “Look, I gotta go. Have a great day.” She’d done her duty, and she didn’t have to listen to her cousin’s put-downs and ego trip all the way to New Orleans.
Monday morning, more cheerful than she had a right to be when on her way to her grandfather ’s funeral, Leticia tripped down the hall a few minutes before seven-thirty and called to Willa.
“What smells so good?”
“I bought some good old sage sausage. Men love it with waffles and with grits and scrambled eggs.”
Another one of those women who loved to make men happy, eh? She couldn’t help bristling a little. “Really, Willa. Surely, it won’t surprise you to know that women like that stuff, too. At least, this woman does.”
“Yes, ma’am, but what you eat don’t amount to peanuts. If you want me to, I can lay it out every morning, and with pleasure.”
“I’ll bet.”
The doorbell rang, and Leticia delighted in getting to the door before Willa did. She slipped the chain, opened the door and looked up at Max. “Hi,” they said simultaneously. What did she say now? “Is it cold out?” she asked him.
She wished he wouldn’t grin as if he’d caught her stealingcookies. “May I came in?” he asked her with a signifying wink. Her gaze was locked on his gray suit, white shirt and gray and yellow checkered tie, something he didn’t wear at work. In the office, he usually wore slacks and a tweed jacket or, in the summer, light pants and a darker jacket that came close to matching them, but didn’t always make it.
“Oh, sure. Yes, of course you can. Willa’s expecting you. I mean ... ”
His grin spread over his face, lighting his eyes until he laughed aloud. “I never thought I’d see you without your famousaplomb, Leticia.”
“It’s not nice of you to mention it, Max.” Feeling freer with him than she had previously, she took his hand and walked with him to the dining room. “Willa cooked this breakfast without thought as to my taste or preference. Have a seat.”
This was not the Max she knew at the office. He wasn’t stern and aloof or seemingly concerned mainly with his image as an ace reporter. This man was her warm and caring date of two nights earlier, the engaging and understanding man who joined her as a guest of Bill and Allison Covington. The man who surprised her with his attentiveness and his similarityto her in morals and manners.
“We have to say grace first,” Willa announced, “so y’all wait a minute.” She put the food on the table, joined them and said grace. “And, Lord, would you please take this situationhere in your hand?” she added. Willa handed them bowls of fresh pineapple chunks and sweetened raspberries. Leticia looked at the food and then at Max.
“You’re welcomed to eat like a little bird,” he said, “but I’m going to eat some of everything I see. My cook gives me Rice Krispies for breakfast. I’m sick of ’em, but she says they keep blood pressure down.”
Willa smiled at Max. “I opened a fresh can of dark roasted Columbia coffee.” She poured a cup and handed it to him.
“I drink coffee, too,” Leticia grumbled.
Max hooted and looked at Leticia as if to say, “Sorry. I can’t help it if I’m her boy.” What he said was, “This waffle is to die for, and it’s been years since I ate any sage sausage. Willa, I’m going to give Ella your phone number.”
Leticia watched Willa preen. “Who’s Ella?” Leticia asked Max, and wanted to bite her tongue.
“Ella cooks and looks after my house. I thought she was perfect, but how can she be when she doesn’t give me sage sausage and Belgian waffles?” After he finished eating, he went around the table to where Willa sat and kissed her cheek. “You’re wonderful, Willa. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed my breakfast.” To Leticia, he said, “Thanks for invitingme. You knew I’d enjoy it. It’s really sweet of you.”
“But I don’t rate a kiss on the cheek,” she muttered to herself,and she suspected he heard her, for his eyes twinkled and a grin formed around his lips.
Max glanced at his watch. “We’d better be moving. Traffic to the airport can be heavy at this time.” He shook hands with Willa and picked up Leticia’s overnight bag. “Ready?”
She nodded. “As I’ll ever be.”
“You rented a car?” she asked him as they approached the black limousine.
“I want to see you to the gate, and I couldn’t do that if I drove my car, because I’d have to park too far away.”
At the airline’s kiosk in the airport, Max printed out her ticket and handed it to her along with a receipt for her return ticket. “They won’t let you go to the gate with me,” she told him, and she knew that the tenor of her voice told him of her disappointment.
“I got a general clearance several months back, so I can pass security. You ought to do that.”
Considering the crowd ahead of them, she figured it would be a good idea. After removing her shoes, the jacket of her suit, and her cosmetics bag and putting them into the plastic tray for security check, she removed her laptop from her suitcase and placed it in another tray.
On the way to the gate, they passed a newsstand. “Let’s stop here a minute,” he said, went in, bought a copy of the Washington Post, a package each of cookies and Snickers and handed them to her. The man was taking care of her, and she had a right to know why. The words Why are you doing this? were on the tip of her tongue when he said, “I don’t know what you’ll face or how you’ll feel there. It’s an occasion that can generate feelings you didn’t know you were capable of experiencing. So, a little TLC is something for you to fall back on.” He looked her in the eye. “There’s more where this came from.”
As if he considered the thought closed, he took her arm and walked with her to the gate. “They’re boarding. Did you bring my cell phone number?”
“Yes, I did. Thanks for—”
Max didn’t let her finish. “Don’t thank me.” He leaned down, kissed her cheek, turned and walked away.
Was that all she could expect in life? A kiss on the cheek? He’d kissed Willa on the cheek. Was he telling her that she wasn’t entitled to more from him than her cook received? She had vowed to change, and it was time she did it. “Damn you,” she said when he was well out of earshot. “Next time you do that, I’m going to show you what a real kiss is supposedto be like.”
A man who had evidently witnessed the chaste kiss and heard her reaction grinned at her and said, “That’s it. The guy must be loonie. Damned if I’d kiss you on the cheek.”
But with his sharp ears, Max heard her. If he was getting to her, fine; that was no more than she was doing to him. He had a mind to kiss her cheek when he met her at the airport Wednesday on her return from New Orleans just to see what she’d do. He didn’t question his protectiveness toward her. It had been instinctive almost since he met her. She had an uncannysense, almost an instinct about his feelings, and particularlywhen he was down. And for some reason, she disliked his being hurt or unhappy. He needed to sort it out, but he knew himself well enough to appreciate what the consequenceswould be when he did figure it out. He wasn’t quite ready for that.
He got to the office late, shortly after ten, and missed the morning budget meeting. A note from Joel was stuck to his telephone. He didn’t jump when teacher clapped, so he ignoredthe note, but he’d hardly taken his seat when Joel phoned him.
“I get some breaking news, and neither you nor Langley is around to cover it. You two had the entire weekend to celebrate.”
“You’re not minding your own business, Joel. Didn’t Leticia tell you her grandfather died Saturday night?”
Joel’s long pause didn’t fool Max. Something had registeredwith the man, and he was gauging how much he could say with impunity. Finally, he said, “Yeah. She left a message on my answering machine. How do you happen to know about it?”
Max leaned back in his chair and prepared to enjoy himself.“Ah, what fools ye mortals be. Temerity is thy middle name.”
“She’s a nice gal, Max. So watch your step.”
He laid the phone on his desk, almost ran to Joel’s office and burst in without knocking. “Man, what the hell gives you the idea that I would mistreat Leticia or any other woman? I know she’s nice. I probably know it better than you do. So lay off.”
“Bridget thinks she’s good for you. She said you were a different man with her. I thought so, too.”
Max plowed his fingers through his short, not-quite-straighthair. “She’s special. Leave it at that, Joel.”
“As long as you know it.”
Max stared at Joel while he debated with his temper. He didn’t allow anybody to give him a tongue lashing. “Be careful,Joel. I think a lot of you, but not enough to let you treat me as if I’m a kid.”
“I think a lot of you, too,” Joel said. “No offense intended.”
Max looked at Joel for a long time. “All right. No offense taken.” He knew he was different with Leticia; he had been from the first, but he’d be careful in the future not to show it.
When Leticia reached the baggage claim area in New Orleans’s Louis Armstrong Airport, she saw Mark striding toward her. At once, she knew why she’d come. She dropped her bag and reached out to the one person who she knew cared for her. Maybe Max cared for her. She wasn’t sure, but she knew that Mark did.
They held each other for a few minutes. “I’m so glad you came, Leticia. I’ve just learned that Granddad’s lawyer is reading the will this afternoon and that you should be there.”
“Me? You can’t be serious.”
“I am. His lawyer is one of my close friends. From the hint I got, the number of relatives and pretenders attending the funeral will be a lot smaller than it would have been if the will had been read after the burial.”
She knew so little about her grandfather, but she refused to take responsibility for that. “I didn’t realize that he was wealthy,” she said to Mark.
A sad expression clouded Mark’s face. “I guess he was. And it’s a pity, because the old man was known for squeezinga penny until it screamed. He didn’t seem to enjoy it. Now he’s gone, his wealth is here, and people who didn’t earn it will have the benefit of it.”
They stopped at Mark’s home long enough for her to freshen up and change her clothes. As they rode the elevator to the lawyer’s office, Mark chuckled. “Granddad was just mean enough to say that you didn’t inherit unless you attendedthe reading. I sure wouldn’t put it past him.”
Indeed, Bryce Crawford had made precisely that stipulation.“In other words,” Leticia said to Mark after the reading, “if you didn’t attend the funeral, it means you were disinherited.”
“Right. We all knew he was foxy.”
Leticia was in a state of amazement when she left the lawyer’s office. The old man had owned three houses, his own dwelling and two that he rented out. He left them, his bank accounts and stocks to his seven grandchildren. Mark and Leticia received his own dwelling and its contents.
“I suggest we sell the house and everything in it and dividewhat we get,” Mark said. “It’s easier that way. What do you think?”
“Good idea. Ask your lawyer friend to take care of it.”
As Mark predicted, not three hundred, but sixty relatives attended the funeral. Word certainly gets around, Leticia thought. She gazed down at her maternal grandfather, marblelike in his stillness and elegant for eternity in his black tuxedo, white-lined pleated shirt, and gray and yellow paisley tie, cummerbundand handkerchief.
“It’s what he ordered and paid for,” the undertaker explainedwhen questioned.
Mark’s eyes glazed with unshed tears. “Look at him. It’s the story of his life. Everything for show, even the way he treated his children.”
She thought of her mother and her docile acceptance of banishment from her home and all that she knew because of her father’s need to save face in their community. Have I inheritedfrom my mother a reluctance to plow my way through life, passionately going after what I want and need in my relationships with people? What has changed since the day I got my degree? Leticia attributed the success she’d had wholly to her mental prowess. She’d met some people, but in six months, she’d made only two friends, Mark and Max. She still didn’t have a girlfriend with whom to share her triumphs, failures and fears, to dish the dirt, talk about men and shop.
“What’s the matter, Leticia?”
“I need to straighten out my life.”
He walked with her back to his car, alternately holding her hand and hugging her shoulders. “Is he the guy who gave me the dirty looks when I met you at your office?”
“He’s wonderful to me, but he kisses me on the cheek.”
Mark’s husky laugh had the ring of a man who understoodthe problem. “Does he know you want him to kiss you? If he doesn’t, why don’t you turn your head and show him?”
“Just let him do it again,” she said. “He’ll get the surprise of his life.”
Although she hated to leave Mark, Leticia was glad to have the dreariness of the funeral and burial behind her. She remained stunned by her grandfather’s generosity until she realized that it was as much a recompense for her mother as it was a gift to her. She asked the lawyer to send her a picture of her grandfather and grandmother, told Mark good-bye and headed home.
She reached the baggage claim area in the Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport and saw Max. “Hi,” she said, both surprised and comforted to see his familiar face. “I didn’t realize that you were planning to meet me.”
He took her bag in his left hand, put his right arm around her waist and headed out of the terminal. “How did it go in New Orleans?”
“I have a lot to tell you but, Max, you’re confusing me.”
“Not if you keep your thinking cap on.”
She could feel her temper rearing up. She was getting mad and didn’t care if he knew it. Men didn’t even treat their little sisters as he was behaving with her. She stopped walkingand stamped her foot.
With concern etched on his face, he held her closer. “What is it, Leticia? What’s wrong?”
“You. You do all these nice things for me and you ... Oh, nuts to you, Max, and don’t kiss me on the cheek when you take me home. I mean it.”
At first, his face bore a quizzical expression. Then he shrugged in a nonchalant fashion. “Okay, Leticia.”
“Dammit, Max. Is that all you have to say?”
“You told me not to kiss you. If a woman doesn’t want me to kiss her, I won’t kiss her.”
She felt as if she would explode. “I didn’t say I don’t want ... Oh, hell! Let’s go.”
He picked up her bag, put his other arm around her waist and proceeded with her to the exit and the waiting limousine.Inside the car, he said, “Are you all right? Apart from being mad at me, that is?”
“I’m fine, and I am not mad at you. I’m vexed because you give me mixed signals. My grandfather left me half of one of his dwellings and its contents and, let me tell you, that’s quite a lot. I’m stunned.”
“You couldn’t have given me better news. He cared for you, and he wanted to make amends for his wrongdoings.”
“Yes. To my mother as well as to me. He told me he regrettedit. His lawyer will supervise the sale of the house and its contents and give half to me and half to Mark, my first cousin.”
When the limousine stopped in front of the eight-story white-brick apartment building in which she lived, Max asked her, “Am I allowed to walk with you to the door of your apartment?”
She looked hard at him. He was serious. “What makes you think you have to ask?”
“I don’t want to make any mistakes with you.”
With great effort, she resisted the urge to pinch him somewhere,and any place would have sufficed. “Please don’t look so innocent, Max. I can’t stand it.”
At her apartment door, he took her key, opened the door, tipped an imaginary hat, smiled and walked away. “I could kill you,” she called after him. “And that’s not all I could do.” He didn’t stop walking. She’d give anything at that momentif she could understand him. In some important respects, she knew him, and she could discern his moods, when he was pleased or displeased and when he bordered on anger, but deep down, she had no idea what made him tick.
Several evenings later, Max called her at home, and that surprised her because, from the time he left her at her apartmentdoor following her return from New Orleans, she’d seen him only at The Journal staff’s morning budget meetings.
“Are you going home for Christmas?” he asked her.
“No. I don’t have anyone in Atlanta, and Mark’s the only person I’d want to see in New Orleans, and he’s going on a cruise with his girlfriend.”
“I see. I usually have dinner Christmas Eve. Would you have dinner with me? You shouldn’t be alone, and I’d enjoy your company.”
She would have expected him to say most anything but that. It bothered her to have anyone feel sorry for her. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d had Christmas dinner alone. Time was when she was glad to have a turkey wing and mashed potatoes for her Christmas meal.
“Thank you, Max, for caring, but I don’t want to impose on you. I’ll be fine. Honest.”
After what seemed like ages, he said, “If it could possibly be an imposition, I wouldn’t have asked you. Good night.” He hung up.
For a long minute, Max stared at the mobile phone in his hand. He didn’t realize that he’d sent it across the dining room until it crashed into a chair. It had taken him a long time to reach out to a woman, any woman, but he’d made himself do it, because she was the one person who could bring joy to his life at Christmas. And she ought to know that he cared for her. He knew she cared for him before she knew it, and he had discerned it from her behavior with him. She’d complained that he kissed her cheek, but he knew himself. He wasn’t a pimply teenager who could kiss and fondle women, tell them good night and go whistling on his way. If he ever kissed Leticia Langley the way he longed to, he’d want to bury himself in her and love her till he spent himself, and she ought to have sense enough to know that.
He couldn’t understand her thin reason for not having dinner with him on Christmas Eve and for preferring instead to be alone. He ran his fingers through his hair. Maybe she wouldn’t be alone, and he’d been a sucker.
“How many are we having for dinner Christmas Eve, Mr. B?” Ella, his housekeeper, called to him from the kitchen.
“Just the three of us. I’m not having a guest this year.”
“Then what’ll I do with that big turkey I ordered?”
“Exchange it for a smaller one. I’m going out.” He headed out Thirty-eighth Street toward McLean Gardens, walking at a fast clip until he reached a red light, stopped and rememberedthat he hadn’t put on a topcoat and that the wind was sending freezing air straight through his body. If he didn’t know better, he would think he was entirely alone on earth. The brilliance of the moonlight and the silver coldness of the stars added to his loneliness. Right then, he would have been happy to meet a dog on the street, but the barren limbs of the trees were the only moving things he saw. He turned back, walking at a slower pace.
How had he let himself do what he’d sworn never to do again? He was vulnerable to her. They had so much in common,and he felt so comfortable with her that she’d sunk into him before he got his defenses up. If he knew why she’d rather spend Christmas alone than with him, or if she had another man, he could deal with it, but he believed she cared for him, so this didn’t make sense. But he wasn’t going to ask her why. Not now or ever.
“Oh, my Lord, I’ve hurt him, and he’ll never forgive me. What on earth was I thinking? He wasn’t being nice. He cares about me,” she said in a loud voice.
She dialed his number, and when she got his answering machine, she hung up and dialed his cell number. He didn’t answer that either. It seemed as if her heart hit the bottom of her belly.
What had she done? She knew Max’s level of sensitivity and that, in spite of his sometimes tough manner, he hurt easily. Pain, almost physical in its intensity, wracked her. How had she been so thoughtless? And why didn’t she accept his invitation when she knew she wanted to be with him?
By his actions, Max had shown her that he was her friend and that he cherished her friendship. And what had she done but behave like a foolish schoolgirl, too stupid to realize that the man cared for her and that, with his looks, status and prestige, he could have any of a number of women as his Christmas Eve dinner partner.
As days passed, it became evident that he was avoiding her at work. Her column on women politicians in Washington was quoted widely by the television pundits and congressionalleaders, and every reporter at The Journal congratulatedher, except Max.
She had to find a way to make amends, to tell him that she was godly sorry. With Willa spending Christmas in South Carolina with her children and grandchildren, Leticia orderedChristmas Eve dinner from a caterer and ate at home, more miserable than she could remember being since her father’sdeath. She pushed the food around on her plate, unawareof her actions. She could have been with him, but instead she’d hurt him terribly and herself as well. Salty water rolled down beside her nose and on to the food that she held at her lips. What if he, too, were miserable? Sobs wracked her until she no longer had the strength to cry. Why couldn’t she relateto people as she wanted them to relate to her? She coveredher face with her hands. She had to talk to him.
Christmas morning, she answered the telephone and heard Kenyetta’s voice. Two weeks earlier, she would have sworn that she would never welcome that sound. “Hi, Ken. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you, too,” her cousin said. “Except this is no merry time for me. Girl, would you believe that SOB Reggie Parrish got a divorce and is marrying some gal in Hyattsville after screwing me around for almost five years? The SOB sent me an invitation to the wedding, and it’s addressedin his own handwriting. If I ever see him again, his ass gon’ be mine. When I finish with him, his new bride will have a eunuch on her hands. Not that it will make a differenceto her. When he had all of his important parts, he didn’t hack it.”
“Slow down, Kenyetta, and get a hold of yourself. If you commit a crime, you’ll go to jail, and then you’ll really be miserable. Besides, you’re not in love with him, so just forget about him.”
“He used me.”
“You told me you were using each other.”
Kenyetta ignored that bit of truth. “I didn’t get a damned thing out of it. He couldn’t take me anywhere, and he sure wasn’t shit in bed. Wilson put down more in one hour than Reggie came close to doing in almost five years, but, hell, Wilson ain’t shit either. That brother’s like a stallion. He won’t hang around a minute longer than he gets what he wants. The jerk.”
Leticia didn’t want to talk about Reggie what’s-his-name and especially not about Wilson. “They’re out of your life,” she told her cousin, “so be thankful. Now you’re free to find a nice guy who will really care for you.”
“Hmph! What’s with you and that number ten you had at the Kappa dance? That’s one fine brother. Snooty, but a real knockout.”
“Don’t ask me. I messed up.”
“Girl, get on your knees. Crawl. Whatever. He wouldn’t get away from me.”
She wished Kenyetta would listen to herself. That philosophyprobably accounted for her short reign as queen of Wilson Gallagher’s world. “I said I messed up, Ken. I did not say I owed him every shred of my pride.”
“Okay. You know it all. How about going to a movie?”
“Fine. But not today. I have to work things out. Thanks for calling.”
Leticia hung up, got the telephone book and looked for Max’s home address, but he was not listed, and the telephoneoperator wouldn’t give it to her. She knew that if he wouldn’t answer her phone calls he would ignore her e-mails. She hadn’t seen him in the office that Friday, the day after Christmas, although she heard his voice twice in the corridor.In any case, she didn’t consider the office the proper place for what she needed to say to him.
Late Friday afternoon, she passed Max’s office on her way to see Joel, saw the light beneath his door and shivered from the pain of their separation.
“Come in,” Joel said when she knocked. She opened the door and walked in. Leticia didn’t pay much attention to the deep tan-colored walls, yellow drapes, walnut furniture and the high-back tufted leather chair in which Joel sat, comfortablein his masculine environment and with his status as editor in chief. “Hey, what’s with you? Did you lose your best friend?” he asked her.
She nearly choked. “Did I ... maybe. I don’t know. Joel, do you know Max’s home address?”
His frown didn’t surprise her. After all, Max was less than ten feet from Joel’s office. “Sure, I know it, but he’s right down there in his office. Can’t you ask him for it?”
“I could, but I don’t think he’d give it to me. Please, Joel. I won’t do anything bad. I swear.”
“Sit down. You’re miserable, and so is Max. I’ve seen him in all kinds of moods, but not like this. I turned that corner by Rube’s office, and he bumped into me and nearly knocked me speechless. He muttered something and didn’t even stop walking.”
“Joel, please. It’s my fault.”
Joel fingered his chin as if in deep thought and then appearedto have reached a decision. “I’ll give it to you, and I think you ought to patch it up with him. I’ve known Max for years, and I know he’s straight. I also know that he cares a lot for you. I wish my daughter would bring me a man like Max.”
“Sometimes I don’t use my head, Joel.”
“Oh, you use your head, all right, and I suspect that’s the problem. If you try following your heart, he’ll create a whole new world for you. The Max I saw with you at the Kappa dance was a different Max—happy, proud and very possessiveof you. By now, you ought to have him eating out of your hand.”
Maybe that was true, but maybe it wasn’t. She had to go on what she knew, and she knew she’d hurt Max. “I don’t want him to be unhappy because of me.”
“Then you know what to do. Be honest with him, and forgetabout pride. The people who have the most pride live the loneliest lives.” He wrote the address on a small yellow pad and handed it to her. “Monday morning, you’d better be grinning when you come in here.”
She thanked him and, when retracing her steps, passed Max’s door with a heavy heart, and for the first time in her memory, she had a feeling of hopelessness.
Leticia rose early the next morning, Saturday, so agitated that she’d been unable to sleep. But during her tempestuous night, she had at least come to an important decision. She would visit Max at his home, before she slept again, and she would go to him late in the afternoon, before it was time for him to keep a date, if he had one. She didn’t believe he would be rude to her in his home. It was her only chance.
She dressed with great care in an avocado-colored, sheer woolen dress that flattered her, and at twenty minutes to six, she rang his doorbell. Her heart seemed to have stopped beating as she held her breath and waited. The door opened, and Max stared down at her. His lower lip dropped, and his eyes seemed twice their size.
“Leticia! What are you ... ? What’s going on?”
She steeled herself against the effect of his aura, somethingthat hadn’t bothered her in the past. “Hi, Max. May I come in?”
He stepped aside. “Yes. Of course you may. Excuse me for a minute. I’ll ... get presentable. Have a seat in the living room.” He pointed to what she supposed was the direction.
Her glance traveled down to his feet, and she couldn’t help smiling. So he didn’t like to wear shoes. She strolled in the direction to which he’d pointed.
“Who’s that? Ella? Max? Did someone come in? My throat feels parched.”
Leticia followed the sound of the voice to the back of the house and what seemed to be a sunporch. “Oh. Hello,” she said to the woman who she knew at once was Max Baldwin’s mother.
Sitting in a wheelchair and wearing a burgundy velour robe, the woman smiled at her. “I hope you came to see Max. He needs a lift, and I hope you’re it.”
“My name’s Leticia, Mrs. Baldwin, and yes, I came to see Max.” She shook the woman’s proffered hand and hunkered in front of her. “Did you say you had a dry throat? I can get you some water. Would you like some?”
“Oh, thank you. I would. My medicine makes me feel like somebody put a hot poker in my throat, but it’s making me well, so I’m not complaining. I’m so glad you’re Max’s friend. You know, I don’t need a nurse, but he insists that I have one, and she’s in addition to Ella, his housekeeper. I know I’m blessed. Lots of men would put their mother in a nursing home, but he wouldn’t even consider it.
“He gives up a lot because of me. I know he does, but I’m getting better, and I’m walking a little more every day. He’s—”
Leticia interrupted her, because she didn’t think it fair to learn about Max’s private life from his mother. “I’ll go get you some water.”
“You come back now,” the woman said, clinging to Leticia’s hand.
“Don’t worry. I will,” Leticia told her, stood and kissed the woman’s forehead. Figuring that the house’s structure had some logic, she found the kitchen at once.
“Hi. I’m Leticia. Where are the glasses? I want to give Max’s mother some water.”
“I’m Ella, Miss Leticia. I’ll take Mrs. Baldwin the water.”
“Thanks, but I told her I’d bring it, so I’d better do it.” She filled the glass and headed back to the sunporch. But as she reached the stairs, Max bounded down to the bottom step.
“Where are you going with that glass of water?”
She didn’t pause. “Your mother wants some water.”
“Here you are, Mrs. Baldwin.” She noticed that the woman’s hand shook as she reached for the glass. Leticia slipped her left arm around Jean Baldwin’s shoulder and held the glass to her lips.
“Thank you. I’m nervous thinking I’ll drop it. Beryl—she’s my nurse—won’t let me use any energy. I know she loves me, but if I don’t do things, I’ll never get strong.”
Leticia sympathized with the woman. Being dependent somehow deprived a person of dignity. She patted the woman’s hand. “You’ll be as good as new, Mrs. Baldwin. It’s hard, I know, but have faith and try to be patient. Next Christmas, you’ll be the one who roasts the turkey.”
“Lord, I hope you’re right. You’re a sweet girl. I want you to come see me again.”
“Thank you, ma’am. I’m going to take this glass back to the kitchen.” When she reached the staircase, Max stood where she’d left him.
A case of lightheadedness made him unsteady, and he leaned against the dining room doorjamb. Shaken. What he’d seen minutes earlier didn’t seem real. Leticia Langley was in his house, talking with his mother as if they’d been friends for years, giving her water and kissing her cheek. And it had not been for his benefit, because Leticia couldn’t see him.
Max knew why Leticia had come to his home, so he didn’t ask that question. “Have a seat over there,” he said to her, and pointed to a big leather chair near the fireplace. She sat down, and he pushed a leather pouf in front of the chair in which she sat and took a seat on it.
“How did you find my address?”
“I begged Joel for it. Max, I know I hurt you.” She held up a hand to ward off his intended interruption. “You wouldn’t take my calls, and you avoided me in the office. I was miserableChristmas Eve and Christmas Day, because I wanted to be with you. I spent Christmas Eve alone. Yes, I felt sorry for myself, but I faced some realities. No one on earth means as much to me as you do. Can you and will you forgive me? If you can’t, I’ll have to accept that, but I don’t think I’ll forgive myself.”
The pain etched in her face touched him deeply, and he wanted to forgive her and let bygones be bygones. “It wasn’t exactly hallelujah time for me. At first, I couldn’t believe that you’d refused to spend Christmas Eve with me.”
She looked straight into his eyes, and he knew how importantit was to her that he believe her. “Apart from my beliefin my intellectual ability, I don’t have a surplus of self-confidence, Max. You could have Christmas dinner with any single woman in this town, so why me? I thought you were being nice because you felt sorry for me.”
He couldn’t believe she’d said it. “What? You’re kidding, I hope.”
“No, I’m not.”
“I won’t lie,” he said. “It hurt terribly. I had planned a wonderful evening for us, but ... I felt as if I could hardly make it through that night.”
She reached out to him, then quickly withdrew her hand. But when she spoke, she looked into his eyes. He could almostfeel her pain, but empathy for her did not lessen his.
She got to him as he had known she would. “I’ll try to stop thinking about it, Leticia. Time heals all wounds.”
She stood. “Thanks. I know I can’t expect more. I’ll tell your mother good-bye and then ... Would you please call a taxi for me?”
She walked toward the sunporch, and he had about a minute to make up his mind. When she got back to him, he said, “I’ll drive you home.”
She hadn’t told him that she cared for him in precisely those words, but what she’d said amounted to that. He felt a lot better;he’d lie if he said he didn’t. But could he take the chance?
Max parked a few doors from the white brick building in which Leticia lived, got on the elevator and walked with her to her apartment. Holding out his hand for her key, he felt the tension in her as she fumbled in her purse. She found the key ring, looked up as she handed it to him, and the pain reflectedin her eyes gripped him the way a wrench tightens around a bolt.
He opened the door, stared down at her, and his heart began to race. His hands itched to roam over her body, to bring her so close to him that air couldn’t flow between them. He sucked in his breath, caressed her right cheek with the back of his left hand, turned and walked away.
It was then or never, and she knew it, but she couldn’t make herself call him back. As he walked, his strides seemed less purposeful than his usual gait. She stood in the doorway and watched the man who always held his head high look down as he moved with wooden steps. Shudders plowed through her when he pushed the button for the elevator.
He half turned, glanced her way, and her head said call him. Zombielike, she took a step forward, and he turned fully toward her. The tone announcing the arrival of the elevatorsounded to her like the knell of death and, of its own volition, her right hand extended toward Max. The elevator went unheeded, and the door closed. He took a step toward her, and she opened her arms. Slowly, he started to her. She moved with arms wide, and then they raced to each other. There in the hallway, she leapt into his arms and, neither moving nor speaking, they held each other.
With an arm tight around her waist, he walked with her back to her door, but he didn’t seem inclined to go further. She turned into him and, as tremors possessed her body, she held him without shame while tears bathed her face.
“It’s all right, sweetheart,” he whispered. “Don’t be unhappy.There’s no reason. We’re together now, and that’s what matters.”
She braced her hands against his chest and looked into his eyes. “But nothing has changed, Max. Nothing.”
She had a feeling that at that moment, he stopped resisting,for the touch of his hands seemed sweeter and more loving.
“You’re wrong, sweetheart. Everything has changed.”
“But you ... you left me.”
For the first time, he smiled, and its warmth flooded his face. “You don’t want me to kiss your cheek, so what was I supposed to do?”
“I will not dignify that question with an answer.”
“Okay, but will you bring me scones and cookies?”
“I’ll think about it.”
His arms tightened around her in a fierce hug. “You’re precious to me, Leticia. So precious. Don’t forget that. Good night.”
She told herself not to second-guess him, that he probablyneeded time to come to terms with their relationship. She wasn’t satisfied, but for now, she was content.
Max left Leticia walking on a cloud, high from the happinesshe felt. She knew enough about him to understand him and to know whether she could accept him for himself. Seeing her at his front door had been a severe shock, but if she registered that fact, she didn’t show it. He marveled that in the midst of her distress, Leticia could forget about herself and show his mother consideration and kindness. He got into his Town Car and headed for Georgetown and home.
“I see you’ve been keeping that one to yourself,” Ella said when he walked in. “I gave your mama her dinner, Mr. B, but I waited for you. Tell me about this young lady.”
After washing his hands, he joined Ella at the breakfast-roomtable. “Leticia is ... Look, I’m not sure I want to talk about her, Ella. I’m still working it out.”
Ella cleared her throat with unnecessary vigor. “Okay, you can tell me that, but your mama will never accept it. She’s ready to welcome her new daughter-in-law.”
“I can’t blame her; Leticia gets to you in a hurry. But tell Mother to slow down, will you?”
Ella placed her fork on the side of her plate and looked at him. “You telling me she doesn’t mean anything to you?”
“No. I’m not, and for now, that’s as far as I’m going with it.”
“Well, at least you’re eating, and that’s more than you’ve done for the past two weeks. Whatever she did while she was here, I sure hope she keeps on doing it.”
“I hope it gets well beyond that,” he murmured under his breath, and he didn’t doubt that it would. But when?