Christian
Christian woke to a tongue on the arch of his foot and his first thought was of Ellie. But it turned out to be her dog. As much as he liked the animal, he didn’t particularly like being licked awake.
Unless it had been Ellie who did the licking.
And just like that, he had half a boner again.
She was not joking around about this Fate thing. It was hella real. He had the nonstop erection-action to prove it.
The little pillow wall between them was the current source of his annoyance, because all he wanted was to get his skin on her skin. Or hers on his.
Dodger whimpered again, and Christian looked up in the dark, realizing that the dog wasn’t at his feet anymore. He was on the other side of the bed.
Then the whimper came again, only it wasn’t canine. It was human.
The sound lanced him straight down to his heart. Ellie. She was crying.
He sat up straight, pulling at the pillows, tossing them across the room so he could get to her. When nothing else stood between them, he looked down at her sleeping form, curled up into a ball on top of the covers. As soon as his hand went under her shoulders, she woke up with a ragged breath.
“Wha—” she was saying, but the ends of the word disappeared as she seemed to realize where she was. She grabbed the front of his t-shirt and held on to him. He waited for her to call him by Donny’s name, but she just sobbed into the material. She probably hadn’t been held by a man since him. This had to be disconcerting to her.
“It’s me,” he whispered, settling her fully against his body. “It’s Christian Kyle.”
“Christian.” The sound of his name, so airy and half-asleep. He was now fully hard. And she was moving against him, trying to find some kind of easy position, but none of it was easy on his dick.
“You’re okay,” he said, stroking her back. “You’re in Abilene.”
She didn’t respond. Her breath was still a little uneven, a little emotional. She just clung to him and climbed around like she couldn’t get comfortable.
Just… don’t… straddle… me… was all he could think. He would be gone if she did that. It wouldn’t matter how bad an idea this was, or what she really wanted. This magick was practically magnetizing them to each other.
“You’re okay,” he whispered again, trying to stabilize her. “Whatever was chasing you is gone.”
“Nothing… Nothing…” She panted, a little breath, looking up at his face. “Nothing was chasing me.”
He settled her down on the bed, so that she curled up beside him. If she even brushed his dick, he was gonna come. And he needed the space.
“What happened? Can you tell me about it?”
“It was…” She held her breath. “It was Donny.”
Something struck a knife point in his heart, and he tried to move away from her, but she kept clinging to him. It would be Donny.
“I have this dream sometimes,” she said, holding a piece of his shirt like it was anchoring her. “Where I’m running through the grass, and then I find Donny, like he was… that night… Like when he…”
Christian’s insides tightened, steeling himself to hear about her late husband and how much she still wanted him to be alive. It would serve him right for thinking he could have a moment of happiness with Ellie in his arms.
“Like the night he died,” she continued. “When they killed him.”
He ran his hand up and down her shoulder. “What happens in the dream?”
A little choked sound caught in her throat and his resolve gave way. He pulled her back on top of him and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the side of her neck. He tried a few soothing sounds, and she finally started breathing again.
“I’m too late…” Her words came at the end of a long exhale and hung so perilously between them. “I’m always too late.”
“It’s okay, El,” he said, stroking her hair and then down her back. “It’s okay.”
“No.” She sobbed. “It’s never okay. I… I should have saved him.”
Christian pulled her back and tipped her chin up so she was looking at him in the dark. “How old were you when this happened?”
“Twenty-five.”
“And you were human?”
“Yeah,” she said, swallowing. “I’ve always been human.”
He stroked his finger down her trembling cheek. “You know I used to be human, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, I know the difference between being human and being a wolf.” He took her face in his hands, holding her solidly, trying to impart all the calm he could into her. “Let me promise you, even if you’d gotten there, you wouldn’t have been able to stop a Moonbound wolf from doing what they did.”
She tried to shake away from him, but he held her tight.
“Listen to me.” He pulled her face closer, wanting to kiss her. “If you’d gotten there faster...”
“I could have talked them out of it,” she whispered.
“No, El. Listen to me.” His lips were so close to hers… it would only have taken him a breath to put his lips on hers, but he wouldn’t do that to her. “If you’d gotten there faster, you would have died, too.”
A sharp pain went through him. God, she would have died.
Everything in him cried out, no!
He hated that she’d lost the man she loved. But if she hadn’t lived, Christian might have died, and then his sister... He couldn’t say those words to her, because it would sound like he would willingly trade the love of her life for his sister. And in that moment, he wished he could give her Donny back.
She dragged against his hands, and her face went to his chest. Thankfully, saving him from kissing her. She slid her arms around him, holding on like he was her life raft. God, he wanted to be that for her. He wanted to save her from this.
“Stop blaming yourself for this, Ellie.” He settled her down against his chest and stroked her hair again, like she was precious. That was easy, though. She was. “I haven’t known you for very long, but a man who loved you like he did would have thrown himself in front of a thousand Trewitt wolves to make sure you lived. You are special, Ellie Culver, and you are worth those thousand deaths.”
She shook her head, sitting up. “No, I’m not. I couldn’t save him.”
“Well…” He shrugged. “You saved me. And you save animals every day. And you have this unshakable optimism. And you still care about Donny’s family. You sacrifice yourself plenty.”
“I saved you,” she said, whispering again, “I saved you,” like it was a mantra. Her head dipped closer to his, her lips almost touching his.
“You saved me, El.” He gave her a small smile. “I know it’s no consolation when you lost the love of your life. But you saved me.”
Her lips landed on his like a flash of lightning across a waiting sky. The spark made his breath stop, and he pulled her as close as he could manage. She drank him in like a desert traveler at a long-sought oasis.
He couldn’t help himself. He kissed her back.
Ellie
She wanted him.
Wanted this.
Wanted to escape into his embrace. Into the wave of emotion that he’d stirred. His scent embraced her like a furry fleece blanket on a cold winter day, making all the hurt fade away. He was all around her and on top of her. His mouth against her mouth, coaxing a fire that hadn’t burned inside her in years.
She had saved Christian.
She hadn’t saved Donny.
In her heart, she knew Christian was right. She’d be dead if she’d gotten there sooner. She wouldn’t have been able to stop any of them. The guilt she carried over Donny’s death… he wouldn’t want that for her. But it’d been with her so long, it’d grown to her spirit like moss on a tree. She wasn’t sure she’d ever really be able to shake it.
Each touch.
Breath.
Kiss.
Christian was a balm to her pain. Everything slipped away. Everything but his hands and his mouth. I need this. Right now, I need him. That was all she could process right now. The rawness from the dream. The assurance and comfort from Christian. She needed him so badly she ached all the way down to her soul.
“More.” Her voice was garbled by Christian’s mouth. She tugged at his t-shirt, pulling it up from the waist. Her fingers grazed over his smooth warm skin and energy hummed between them. She wouldn’t have been surprised to see literal sparks arcing from his body to hers. There weren’t. But it felt like there should’ve been.
“I shouldn’t.” Christian pulled away, leaving her panting and needy and confused.
Tears welled in her eyes. The war between her heart and her head was tearing her apart. “Please.”
“I have this… When I get to El Paso, I’m going to have to—” Emotion broke his voice, stopping him from completing the sentence.
She grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him back down. She nuzzled his cheek. And nibbled on his ear. “I need you, Christian. Even if it’s just tonight. Please.”
His breath stuttered from his body like a truck engine that wouldn’t start. Then she bit down on the soft flesh of his neck, pleased by the second shudder that rippled through him.
She pulled on his shirt more until he reared up and yanked it over his head. His legs straddled her hips. His erection pressed hard against her core as he came crashing back down on top of her, claiming her mouth with his like she might disappear into thin air. Like he only had this moment.
“Ellie.” He spoke against her neck as his lips trailed from her mouth to her cheek to her neck. His hands slipped along her sides and pulled up the sweatshirt, breaking contact with his mouth only long enough to yank it over his head and send it sailing across the room. “I—”.
Elle could hear the hesitation, even after he’d removed her shirt. Something was clawing at him, trying to pull him away.
“Just give me this. Just this once. Please. Don’t you want me?” She looked up into his blue eyes and gasped beneath the weight of his stare. The way it cut through her. Touched by a part of her, she’d never thought would see light again.
“More than anything.” His voice came out in a husky breath that made her body ache beneath the pressure of his thighs.
She didn’t think getting naked in one second was possible, but before she could take in a deep breath, Christian’s mouth was on her bare breast. His hand slid down her hip and cupped her naked ass. She hadn’t even seen which way her pants had flown.
She smiled. Closed her eyes. Moaned. She was so close to combusting, and he’d barely touched her.
“I’ve wanted to do this since the first time I saw you. God, you’re gorgeous, El...” The tone of his voice brought her down out of her cloud just a little. She looked up at him as he hovered over her body.
He was all hard lines and regret. No, not regret. Something else. Something she couldn’t put her finger on at the moment. But the desire was there. Genuine hungry need that glowed in his eyes like his wolf was going to come out and take a bite.
“Make me feel, Christian. Make me forget, please.”
His eyes darkened. The glitter of his wolf in those blue orbs turned harder. He dipped down and twirled his tongue around one of her nipples. It bunched and hardened, and her core throbbed, anxiously expecting more.
She grabbed his hair and fisted a handful, arching her body against his hard-muscled chest.
He pulled back again, swung away from her and off the bed, peeling off his boxers. When he turned back to face her, his erection jutted majestically from a nest of dark curls. He was beautiful and thick, and Ellie couldn’t think straight. All she wanted was to touch him. To feel him inside her. Because if he was buried in her, she wouldn’t be able to feel anything else weighing her down, dragging her toward the sadness that only the company of injured animals had kept at bay.
“Please.” She opened her legs.
His nostrils flared, and his eyes went straight to her sex.
He didn’t speak, but she’d seen that kind of desire before. The look that said he was thinking of nothing but her. He wanted her. That was all that mattered right now.
Christian crawled over her on the mattress, nudging her legs even further until he was settled in the cradle of her hips. He pressed inside slowly, his eyes locked with hers as he sheathed himself inside her.
It was so much. He was so big. And it’d been so long. She dug her fingers into his biceps as her body adjusted and squeezed around him. She released a long breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.
Then he moved.
Her entire body trembled. Sweat formed a sheen across her skin and his.
“More.” The words came out as a frantic plea. “Harder.” She wanted to feel only him. Think about only him.
He stroked inside her. Slow. Deep. Every second was drawn into a lifetime of pleasure. She never wanted it to end.
“El, God. You feel—” He growled into her shoulder before nuzzling one of her breasts and taking the nipple into his mouth.
“So good.” She wrapped her legs around his waist and matched his thrusts move for move.
“Better than anything.” His voice was deep and gravelly and strained, like he was holding on for dear life.
She was. Holding on for dear life.
His fingers clenched on the bedding on either side of her head. He drew himself in and out. Controlled. Purposeful. Furiously desperate.
Ellie grabbed his shoulders and dug her fingers in with each slide of his cock. Her breath was coming in gasps. Her body coiling around his hardness, preparing to implode on itself. The energy between them had multiplied. Every touch. Every movement. It connected to every nerve in her body at the same time.
He took her mouth again. Consuming her. She moaned against his lips, taking everything he was giving. He shifted his hips, rubbing against her sex with each thrust now at an angle that had her crying out his name. “Christian! Yes!”
She soared above the wave that crashed over her, washing away all the hurt and pain and loneliness. It was just Christian. Just her. Right now. Her body clenched around him and she pulled him even closer.
His tongue speared her mouth again, swallowing her cries. His body stiffened above her and his thrusts intensified. Harder. Deeper until she felt as though she might come apart. He slipped a hand between them and holy crap, she was coming again right along with him.
Christian’s warmth filled her from the inside out. Her body shuddered and trembled, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever move again. Wasn’t sure she wanted to.
She gasped for air. Heard him draw in a deep ragged breath. Then he rolled to his side, bringing her with him, keeping his still semi-hard cock buried inside her. They were slick from sweat and arousal, and she didn’t care. Because his arms were around her and he was the only thought in her mind.
His scent. His voice.
“I got you.” He kissed her cheeks. One at a time. Then he kissed her forehead and pushed aside a sweat-soaked strand of her hair. “I got you.”
He did.
“Thank you.” The words slipped out on a soft, heavy breath before exhaustion took over and Ellie closed her eyes, sinking into the safety and soul-soothing comfort of Christian’s arms.