I just lost it. I lost complete control for a few seconds and did not even think about getting sent off and letting my teammates down because they would have to play with only 14 men for (the) last 30 minutes. All I cared about was getting revenge on that player for what he had done.
Martin, retired professional player
Anger is an emotion that signifies a feeling of displeasure, which usually comes from fear (Hymans, 2009). Like all emotions, anger occurs for specific reasons. You can get angry toward other people when you think that they have committed a demeaning offence against you, whether that person is an opponent tackling you illegally off the ball, a coach not selecting you for a team, or a parent criticising your performance. Anger stems from the harm that the person has caused you or has the potential to cause you. You will probably also blame the person. For instance, you may currently be a club player who wants to represent your region. But if your coach does not pick you in your favoured position, he or she is harming your chances of playing at a higher level. Therefore, both harm and blame are present, so you could feel some anger.
Callard the COACH
Aggression and anger go side by side, and rugby players need a mixture of both, especially when competing for the ball at the breakdown or winning the collision in the tackle. The body needs to be fired up, and anger management is a large part of this.
Players get stoked up by fellow players and coaches alike as they try to raise their emotional state so that they can perform aggressively. I have seen players do some explosive lifting in the gym just before they play to increase their level of arousal. Others do some one-on-one contact skills to raise their arousal state.
Assuming that anger is either good or bad is a mistake. Anger is neither good nor bad, and it should not be classified as such because it can be both (Harbin, 2000). A negative consequence of your not being able to control anger is that you could commit an illegal or violent behaviour that could lead to your being sin-binned or sent off. Either way, you have let your teammates down, so you must not let your anger get out of control.
Anger can be useful, however, and you would not want to live your life without any anger at all. Anger is energy, so it can motivate you to try harder in a match or training session. When you get angry, you can also feel stronger, which has its uses when playing rugby. Essentially, anger can give you drive (Harbin, 2000) but only if you are able to control your anger and not let it control you. If you think that there have been instances whilst playing rugby or in your personal life when you have not been able to control your anger, then learning to control your anger could be of some benefit to you. To do this, you need to become aware of your anger and the consequences of being angry.
Callard the COACH
The best sides in the world have a great mix of ability with aggression and a good deal of anger in their play. You only have to watch them fire in to rucks with no backward step to see exactly what an angered controlled player looks like. They also run hard and at pace when carrying the ball, thus making themselves harder to bring down. We must remember that the game is about the hard yards in attack, and they have to be worked for.
A fine line separates being aggressive from being a dirty player, but the best players in the world know where that line is and rarely go across it.
Commentators and coaches are perpetuating a myth when they say things such as, “If you take the anger out of the player, he will not be the same player.” We do not believe this. As we said at the start of this chapter, anger can be used positively if it is controlled. Consider a player who focuses on seeking revenge against other players. This player’s attention will be diverted from playing rugby, and he or she could spend time being sin-binned and suspended. If this player learned to direct his or her anger and the energy thus generated purely toward playing rugby, he or she would not be distracted by thoughts of gaining revenge on other players and would spend more time on the pitch. Would this make the player poorer? We don’t think so.
Anger has an antecedent or a cause. Think about the settings or scenarios in which you have become angry and have reacted with angry behaviour. In particular, focus on the events that occurred immediately before your behaviour occurred. Anger can influence our behaviour. As with all behaviours, consequences come with angry behaviour, which can be seen by viewing table 10.1 on page 124.
Write down the ABCs of your anger in table 10.2 on page 125. Think of the times when you have been angry. List the antecedents, your behaviour, and finally the consequences of your behaviour.
To control your anger, you need to understand the phases that occur in an angry episode. Arnett (1987) suggested that anger includes five phases, which are outlined in figure 10.1 on page 125.
Phase 1: Antecedents The situation that you are engaged in starts stirring your emotions, leading to negative thoughts and feelings. A situation that provokes your feelings could be an opponent who breaks the rules.
Phase 2: Escalation During the escalation phase your body is preparing physically for a fight-or-flight response. Because of evolution, when we feel threatened we are programmed either to fight what is happening or to run away, which is referred to as flight. Either way, the response is an adrenalin surge within your body; your muscles become tense, and your breathing may increase.
Phase 3: Crisis During the crisis phase you are not able to make any rational judgements about what you are doing or are going to do, nor do you have any empathy for those around you.
Phase 4: Recovery Your anger begins to diminish in the recovery phase. Physiologically, your body is starting to return to normal. Your adrenalin level is going down, your muscles are relaxing, and your breathing is becoming slower. But you are also primed to get angry if another incident occurs.
Phase 5: Restoration You are much calmer in this phase and may start to reflect on your behaviour. In particular, you may even start feeling guilty for what you have done.
By reading this chapter you are accepting that you may have excessive anger, which could be ruining your rugby and indeed your personal life. To make a start on not letting your anger ruin your rugby, you can use the three-step approach (Harbin, 2000).
Step 1 If people have said that you have problems controlling your anger or if you have been sent off on many occasions, the first thing that you need to do before reading the rest of this chapter is to stop denying that you have a problem with your anger and the behaviour that you commit when you get angry. Denial is not a good way of dealing with any anger issues because you are ignoring reality. By being in denial you will never deal with your anger and the consequences of being angry.
Step 2 After you have stopped denying that you have problems controlling your anger, you are ready to take control and use anger to your advantage. You should make a promise to yourself to do your best to control your anger.
Step 3 Accept that controlling your anger will not be easy. Setbacks will occur, and improvements will not take place immediately.
Researchers have developed a firework model of anger to show you how anger works and, more important, to show you how to control your anger before it gets out of control (Faupel, Herrick, & Sharp, 1998). Imagine the three components of a firecracker as the stages of anger: (1) match, (2) body of firework, and (3) fuse.
1. Match. The match is the person, situation, and words that provoke or set off an angry response in you.
2. Body of firework. The body of the firework is your reaction both inwardly and outwardly to events.
3. Fuse. The fuse is your thoughts about what is going on.
Table 10.3 represents an example of antecedents, thoughts, and body reactions in situations when a person has experienced anger.
In table 10.4 on page 128, list situations in matches that you have played in the past against a rival team that provoked an angry response. Consider your thoughts at the time and your body reactions. This step is crucial in identifying the warning signs that you are becoming angry.
Now identify the reasons why each of the antecedents that you listed in table 10.4 causes you to feel angry. An example is presented in table 10.5 on page 128.
Write the antecedents of your anger from table 10.4 in the same order and list the reasons why you become angry in table 10.6 on page 129. Remember to be as specific as possible regarding what it is about each antecedent that makes you angry. Only when you have accepted and understood why you become angry about certain antecedents can you control your anger.
The antecedents may make you angry for a number of reasons. Some of the antecedents may make you angry because you think that they have the potential to humiliate you or make you look bad in front of other people. Alternatively, certain antecedents or situations may make you feel angry because you think that you are being taken advantage of or you are frustrated because people stop you from achieving important goals such as wining matches or being selected for a team (Harbin, 2000).
The common theme about feeling threatened, looking bad, being taken advantage, or having people prevent you from achieving your goals is that you perceive that a person or group of people are attacking you. The attack can be either physical or verbal. To control your anger, you must change the way that you think about certain anger-provoking antecedents. Our thoughts influence both actions and feelings, as outlined in figure 10.2.
Our actions influence the way that we think, and the way that we think influences our actions, so we must change the way that we think and the way that we intend to act when facing certain antecedents that may provoke anger.
The first phase of managing anger is accepting that you have an anger problem and then understanding what makes you angry and how you typically behave. The next stage of your anger management focuses on how to change your thoughts and modify your behaviours to beat anger.
As a rugby player you will continue to face the antecedents that have caused your anger in the past. You cannot avoid situations in which opponents take cheap shots, referees make bad decisions, coaches do not select you for a team, or you receive criticism from the crowd.
We do not want you to lose your anger completely because as we said earlier, anger can energise you. But you should not lose control of your anger and commit behaviours that you will later regret because they are harmful to your team. Therefore, when you start to feel angry, instead of thinking about what you will do to an opponent or thinking that you have been hard done to, think about how you are going channel your extra energy and aggression. For example, an opponent may make a late tackle on you. Instead of thinking about taking revenge and risking being sin-binned or sent off, focus your thoughts on making your next tackle a big tackle, so that you use your extra energy legitimately to the benefit of your team. By doing this, you are not letting your opponents have a negative influence on your game. Instead, you are controlling your own destiny. So as soon as the feelings that you identified with being angry occur, focus on the behaviours that you are going to engage in.
Besides changing your thoughts regarding the causes of your anger, you need to change your behaviour. Committing destructive behaviours may lead to your being suspended or getting injured, which can cost your team dearly, so you should use your additional energy legitimately. You can list the antecedents that cause you the most anger, the inappropriate behaviours that you have committed when you have lost control, and the way that you would like to act when the same situation occurs in the future. An example of antecedents, inappropriate behaviours, and ideal responses and behaviour is presented in table 10.7. You can complete your own list in table 10.8 on page 132.
When an incident occurs and you start feeling angry, immediately think about how you can channel your anger in a positive fashion and then behave in a way that takes advantage of the energy generated by becoming angry. By doing this you are not letting anger get in the way of your becoming the best player you can be. You will be focused on your own game and will spend more time on the pitch.
• Anger is an emotion that occurs when you think that a demeaning or unjust offence has been committed against you.
• Anger is negative if you do not control it.
• Anger can be positive if you use the energy that you gain from being angry in a positive manner.
• Change the way that you think and behave when you become angry.
• Focus on what you can do to make the most of the extra energy that you have from being angry in a positive manner and then execute the behaviour.
• Use anger to your advantage.
