23

Northern Pacific Cascade train

FRIDAY, JUNE 12, 1908

Allll aboard—final call!”

Staring out at the station platform through a rain-drizzled train window, Hattie mentally willed the ticketholders on this trip to shake a leg. Mere moments later, the exterior door nearest her clanged closed, and she perked up. Finally. Then she swallowed a sigh when the porter escorted an older woman to the seat next to hers. “Here you go, madam,” he said.

Drat. She had been so close to that seat remaining empty. Hattie looked up at the plump, smiling woman standing next to the aisle seat beside hers.

Oblivious to her disappointment, the woman flashed her a cheery smile. “Hello, dear. I am Mrs. Whelan. It appears you and I will be seatmates.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m Hattie Taylor.”

“Lovely to meet you.” The train jerked, and as it began its slow chug away from the station, the older woman hastily took her seat. Her heavily embroidered waistcoat rustling beneath her long jacket, Mrs. Whelan settled. “Which is your stop, dear?”

“Mattawa, Oregon, by way of Portland.” She half attended as her seatmate regaled her with her closer destination and the family she’d be visiting. Hattie could not shake the tension in her shoulders. If she hadn’t been in such a burning hurry, she could’ve been traveling back with Aunt Augusta right now. That would have made this return far less stressful.

When she’d left Mattawa almost two years ago, Hattie had desperately needed the distance, yet once having made the decision to accept the offer of employment, she’d all but champed at the bit to go home. She suddenly missed everything she’d been so anxious to leave behind. So, Hattie had impulsively wired Aunt Augusta to forego the graduation ceremony. If she picked up her diploma but skipped the ceremony, she’d explained, she could catch a train to deliver her home a full day and a half earlier.

It never occurred to her she might suffer a complete reversal of her frantic optimism the instant the train departed King Street Station. Yet, five minutes ago, she could barely wait to get home again. Now actually on her way, she questioned the wisdom of going back at all.

“How about you, dear? Is Mattawa your hometown? Do you have family there?”

Hattie shook off her messy ruminations and after what felt like a long pause but she hoped was not, said, “Yes, ma’am, to both. I was born elsewhere, but have lived with my aunt in Mattawa since I was a youngster.” That Aunt Augusta was actually Hattie’s too-many-times-removed cousin for anyone to keep it straight didn’t need to be shared. In Hattie’s heart, Aunt Augusta was precisely that: her most beloved aunt.

“Have you been on a shopping trip to the big city?” Mrs. Whelan inquired.

“Oh no, ma’am. I just received my diploma from the Seattle Normal School. I’m taking a position at the schoolhouse in Mattawa.” In truth, she was still a bit rattled that she’d accepted the position. As the miles from Seattle dissolved beneath the steel wheels of the locomotive, she asked herself why she had.

Because she missed Augusta grievously, and Mirabel and Moses too? She even missed Jake, God help her, and heaven knew their relationship was rife with ups and downs. But, of course, Mattawa was her home. Which led her back to—

“Where did you go?”

Hattie jerked and realized she’d drifted into thoughts of home mid-conversation with the very curious Mrs. Whelan. “I got so caught up in the idea of going home I’m afraid my mind wandered. What did you ask?”

“I . . . Well, my question was actually quite rude of me and truly none of my affair.”

Channeling Aunt Augusta, Hattie raised her chin to an imperious angle and pinned the older woman with a steely “then don’t ask” gaze.

And darned if it didn’t work. Mrs. Whelan slapped her hands together and rose briskly. “I believe the dining car is calling me to have tea. Would you care to accompany me?”

“Thank you, no. Even though it’s early days yet, I’m still preparing mentally for the upcoming school year.”

Mrs. Whelan nodded. “Then I shall see you in a while.” Rising, she stepped into the aisle and made her way down the car.

Hattie’s mind promptly returned to her interrupted thoughts. Since her unexpected offer of employment, she’d given her relationship with Jake a lot of thought. And finally concluded it was time to let her anger go. Knowing he’d sent her to Roger Lord that awful night still made her stomach churn. Jake had been upset and hadn’t given any real credence to her protests. To the unease she’d felt . . . Yet, she knew in her heart he had no reason to suspect what would happen. Even her discomfort around Lord had been feelings, not knowledge. She hadn’t suspected anything near the terrifying violence he’d inflicted upon her. Plus, she and Jake had once shared a special bond. It might not still exist, but at the very least she could be civil.

Hattie locked the subject in a far recess of her mind. Her forgiveness, or whatever this was she was attempting, was a work in progress. Watching the landscape flash by outside the train window, she considered instead the upper echelon of Mattawa society, of which the Murdocks were an esteemed part.

It was ironic, really, to recall how most of those people seemed to believe she didn’t care about their collective opinions. She’d cared, all right. She had cared a great deal. Only Aunt Augusta and perhaps Moses ever understood how much. And neither of them, much as they might have wished otherwise, had the power to help her. Hattie had known, even as a headstrong teenager, that she was the only person with the ability to reverse the town’s opinion of her. And it had been beyond her capabilities then to pretend to be someone she was not. No matter how much she’d desired to fit in—and there had been times she’d ached with the need—her tongue had possessed a mind of its own.

During her time away from Mattawa, she’d come to realize much of the disapproval she’d garnered was not, perhaps, entirely unfounded. Accepted the fact she’d often been the author of her problems. Her behavior had been far from exemplary. She was defensive in response to her peers’ dislike of her and tended to say far too much instead of prudently keeping some thoughts to herself. And what impulsively emerged from her lips had far too often simply reinforced her detractors’ unfavorable opinion of her. She hadn’t yet accepted the wisdom of considering her response before actually uttering it.

Thanks to Nell, she’d learned to play by society’s rules. The hardest lesson had been accepting that life wasn’t always fair. Once she quit expecting every situation to be so, she had made amazing strides. Good heavens, under Nell’s tutelage Hattie even mastered her unfortunate, impulsive tendency to speak first and think second. Most of the time, anyway.

Hattie stared out the window at the ever-changing landscape as the train left the sunlit valley to barrel into shaded woodlands. She all but pressed her nose to the less-than-pristine window, hoping to see something recognizable. Nothing was.

She wished Nell had accompanied her today but understood her friend’s desire to stay in Seattle awhile longer. For Nell, the move to Mattawa meant leaving everything she knew. Of course, she was eager for her family to see her graduate. And following the ceremony, she planned to spend a few weeks with her mother and sister.

It sometimes slipped Hattie’s mind that her friend didn’t have the same financial resources Hattie did. Nell shouldn’t have had to gently remind her that teachers weren’t paid with overwhelming generosity. Or that Nell had no idea when the next opportunity to see her family would arise. It was important she see as much of them as she could before her employment began. Hattie felt so selfish, wishing Nell were with her instead.

She would likely come up against old attitudes and prejudices again and wouldn’t always have a buffer. So, please, Lord, she fervently prayed, let my brain act more swiftly than my tongue.

In her first female friend’s absence, Hattie simply needed to remember the lessons Nell had drummed into her head. And her way of relating to folks would, most definitely, be different this time. She was more mature, less hotheaded these days. And surely a shade more tolerant.

Yes, she admitted as she watched Mrs. Whelan approaching, she was still a bit suspicious. It was part of her character—a part embedded right down to her bedrock during those final weeks before leaving for school in the summer of ’06. But she would, by golly, work on overcoming her suspicions.

In her heart, Hattie thought she did, in fact, understand her reasons for accepting this unexpectedly offered position. Mattawa was her home and she had much to prove.

What she didn’t know was what had driven the decision to extend an invitation to join the staff. She was pretty certain, however, she detected the fine hand of Augusta Witherspoon Murdock behind her and Nell’s surprising appointment by the school board.

Regardless of how it came about, she had been given an opportunity to make Augusta proud. She was determined to play the game by society’s rules and all the slippery edicts that had eluded her in the past. She would grasp her temper in both hands and not let go. No matter what.

If she knew the guiding forces in Mattawa’s top social circle, they had her dismissal already prepared before she even got to town. It was probably all neatly written up on one of those new typewriter machines, just waiting for her to provide them with the opportunity to ride her out of town on a rail.

Well, she hoped they didn’t hold their breath. Because she was going to be so even tempered, so blessed schoolmarmish this go-around, it would make Mattawa’s collective heads spin.

Just wait and see.