CHAPTER 8
Mason
“I want to be a famous actress!” Mason said. Mason was very good at sports. But he wasn’t so bright.
“You mean an actor,” Lucy said.
“No way. Actresses get all the best roles and win big awards. That’s what I want,” Mason said.
“But you’re a boy,” Lucy explained to Mason.
“So?!” Mason said, offended. “Boys can be actresses, too!”
Lucy shrugged. “Fine. Let’s get your headshot.”
Mason ducked under his desk. “What?! Don’t shoot me!”
“No, a ‘headshot’ is just a picture of your face. All actors—and actresses—have them. I send them out to different studio people. Whoever likes your headshot invites you to try out for a role.”
“I like bread rolls,” Mason said, “with lots of butter.”
“Right,” Lucy said.
Mason wasn’t the smartest (or sharpest) tool in the shed, but he was photogenic. As soon as Lucy sent out his headshot, he got invited to try out for over a dozen TV shows.
Unfortunately, Mason couldn’t act his way out of a box. And I mean that very seriously. On his first audition, he got stuck inside a box for thirty minutes and couldn’t find his way out.
“Just take the box off your head!” Lucy snapped. She was very frustrated.
At Mason’s next audition, he got stuck in another box. At the third TV set, he followed a cat into a box, and they both got stuck. Some of the film crew started shooting videos of Mason. They couldn’t stop laughing.
“This is hilarious!” one of the camera people said. “This should be on the Internet.”
This gave Lucy a great idea. She put Mason on the Internet. He was going to be huge. They’d give him his own channel. Maybe they could call it Box Boy.
At the end of the week, Lucy called Mason. “I’m afraid I can’t represent you. You’re just not fame material. You only got fourteen views on social media. That’s less than my goldfish.”
“Fourteen views,” Mason said. “Fourteen views on the Interwebs?!” He started jumping up and down and screaming. “I’m famous! I’m famous. Four. Teen. Views! Mom, I’m a famous actress!!”
“Of course you are, dear,” his mom said.
Lucy hung up the phone.