CHAPTER 30

Infamous Lucy!

On Friday, something occurred to Ms. Linda. “With all of you becoming famous and infamous, I honestly can’t remember the last time we did any actual classwork,” she said. “So… POP QUIZ!”

The students of Classroom 13 groaned. Some of the students were still famous (or infamous), but all of them still had to go to school. They prepared themselves for a boring, terrible, regular day of work, when—

—the door swung open, and a furious Lucy stormed in.

“Stop whatever it is you’re doing!” Lucy shouted at them.

“Excuse me, Lucy LaRoux, but this is my classroom,” Ms. Linda said. “You may be my cousin and a famous agent, but in here, I am in charge.”

“No, no, no!” Lucy growled, stomping her feet on the floor and pitching a tantrum. “I have something to say, and all of you are going to listen!

“In all my time as a senior talent agent, I have never dealt with such horrible clients before! Look at all of you! Failed wrestlers and failed artists and failed actors—”

“I didn’t fail. I quit,” said Triple J.

“Same here,” said Sophia.

“Me too,” said Dev.

“When I say fail, I mean failed to make me stinking rich!” Lucy LaRoux screamed.

“Then you should have said so,” Ms. Linda said. “After all, I don’t think anyone in this class failed. I think everyone did a wonderful job.”

“If they did such a wonderful job, then why is my job in jeopardy?!” Lucy asked.

“I suppose our goals and your goals were not in alignment—meaning, on the same path. If you feel the same way, perhaps you should nullify, or cancel, our contracts. Then all of us can go our separate ways, giving one another only well wishes,” a voice said from the back of the class.

Everyone expected it to be Olivia (because of all the big words), but it turned out to be Mason.

Ms. Linda was impressed. She could hardly believe Mason—who believed Halloween candy was alive and could read his mind—formed such a structured and well-thought reply. It was not like Mason. “Mason, that was incredibly well spoken,” she told him.

“Thank you,” Mason said. “I hit my head this morning. My smarts will wear off soon. For now, I’ll return to my box.” Mason climbed back into his empty box like a sleepy kitten.

“What is wrong with all of you?!” Lucy shouted. “You know what—it doesn’t matter! You all work for me!”

She slammed their contracts down on Ms. Linda’s desk. “None of you can just quit! I’ll lose my job unless I make some real money off you kids, and that’s just what we’re going to do. You all signed these contracts, and contracts are binding, which means I own all of you! Kiss your families good-bye because you’ll never see them again! You’ll be too busy working for the rest of your lives! I don’t care if you fulfill your contracts as celebrity toenail-clippers or circus pooper-scoopers or whatever other terrible jobs I can think of. You. Will. WORK!”

A hush fell over the class.

Some students started to cry. Others just got angry. They didn’t like being famous or infamous. (And those who did like it really didn’t like Lucy LaRoux—she had taken all their money and had yet to share the profits.)

“Now, listen here,” Ms. Linda said. “You will not come into my classroom and bully these children. As far as I’m concerned, your contracts are already null and void.”

With that, Ms. Linda took the stack of contracts and ripped them in half.

“YAAYYYY!” the students cheered. They’d never realized how awesome Ms. Linda was before now.

“Not so fast!” Lucy said with a sneaky sneer. “I have copies.”

“BOOOOO!!” the students moaned.

But when Lucy opened her purse, she screamed. Earl crawled out with a fat belly and let out a long, rude BURP. He had gotten his revenge.

“That rodent ate my duplicates!” Lucy hissed.

“YAAYYYY!” the students cheered.

“No matter!” Lucy snapped. “I have triplicates!”

“BOOOOO!!” the students moaned.

But when Lucy opened her briefcase, the Emm-azing Emma snapped her fingers. The contracts poofed into a cloud of purple smoke and glitter.

“Yay?” some of the students cheered. They weren’t sure how many more copies Lucy LaRoux had.

And sure enough, Lucy smiled a wicked smile. “Good thing I have digital copies of the contracts on my phone! Hah!”

“Good thing I bought a Lily-Hammer,” Ms. Linda said, grabbing something from her desk.

“Those are illegal!” Lucy said. “If you use one of those EMP Lily-Hammer things, you’ll go to jail!”

“How silly of me. It’s not a Lily-Hammer. It’s just a regular hammer.” Then Ms. Linda grabbed her cousin’s phone and smashed it into a hundred little pieces.

Lucy’s smile finally faded. All her copies were gone. There were no more contracts. The students of Classroom 13 were free once more.

Ms. Linda opened the door of Classroom 13 and pointed to the hallway. “I think it’s time for you to go, Lucy LaRoux. We need to get back to learning.”

Defeated, famous agent Lucy LaRoux scowled at the classroom and said, “You’re all terrible, and you’ll never be famous again!”

Little did Lucy know that the kids were already famous. This is the third book they’ve starred in. And they’ll star in many more to come.…

As they were no longer famous (or infamous), the students of Classroom 13 finished the school day like most students do—with some very unfamous activities.

Instead of walking a red carpet, they walked the tiled classroom floor to turn in their homework. Instead of signing autographs, they signed their names on quizzes and tests. And instead of smiling for cameras and journalists, they just smiled for their teacher, Ms. Linda, who had saved them from her terrible cousin.

Meanwhile, outside in the hall, famous agent Lucy LaRoux was kicking the 13th Classroom’s door in anger. Like most living things, Classroom 13 did not like being kicked.

“Stop it,” whispered the classroom door.

Lucy looked around. “Who said that?”

“I did,” said the voice.

Lucy looked up and down the hallway, but there was no one around. Just her. And the door to Classroom 13.

“Don’t kick me again,” the door said. “It’s rude.”

Lucy figured this was some kind of prank. She roared, “I’ll do what I want!”

Then she kicked the door again. This time, her leg went right through the door. Lucy tried to pull her leg back, but it was stuck in what felt like strawberry jelly. Then, like a strand of spaghetti, the door sucked her in completely. She was not in Classroom 13. She was somewhere… else.

“You should have made me famous,” the 13th Classroom whispered. Then the door burped her out.

Lucy bounced into the hallway covered in slime. She had no idea what had happened or where she had been—but she was totally freaked. She ran out of the school, screaming and vowing to never work with children again.

Meanwhile, Ms. Linda and the students didn’t hear a thing inside the 13th Classroom. They never did. But they would one day, one day rather soon.…