Peer Pressure
(Adults Included)

Now that you know the basic building blocks of the group mind, I’d like you to think about that dreaded dis-ease called peer pressure. Often, people want to be accepted by their peers, to feel like they are a part of something bigger than themselves, that they belong. For some of us, being born was traumatic enough; the idea of total ostracism by our friends is more than the subconscious mind can bear. The conscious mind, then, overrides what we know to be right or wrong behavior, and says, “I’ll move with the group because then I will not be alone,” never realizing that it cannot be disconnected in any way from the collective unconscious. This is when we mistake the group mind (the temporary microcosm) for the macrocosm of the collective unconscious.

The other thing we tend to forget is that although the collective unconscious lasts forever, the group mind does not. It begins, grows, changes, and eventually disintegrates. Sometimes this happens quickly, and other times it takes awhile, but especially through the teen years the lifespan of the group mind is very limited and it will change radically from one season to the next. In this case you must ask yourself, “Is this decision I am about to make worth it?” As a magickal person, you are expected to step back and be a visionary before you charge along with the pack, because you know that the pack has a limited history (even if they have no clue).

There’s also something else I should add here, before you go further. In the magickal world, once you’ve been informed of a particular occult maxim (or rule), then you are considered responsible, whether you like it or not. Spirit feels that when you have been educated on any subject, then you have to own up to your choices. This is why, throughout history, different cultures have used the snake to represent wisdom and knowledge. Once you know the truth, it will bite you if you don’t honor it. When Witches say “Honor is the law; love is the bond,” this is what they are talking about.

The Dreaded Cupcake Story

Let’s take an example. From studying Witchcraft you now know that the universal mind creates harmony and abundance in all things. You need never want, and there are ways to tap into that universal abundance that harms no one. This is knowledge. Granted, waiting for things to work in our favor sometimes takes patience, but you’re learning how to handle that. Let’s say that you have two dollars in your pocket, plenty to pay for that cupcake in the school lunchroom. Your friends, however, have decided that stealing that cupcake out from underneath the lunch lady’s nose is great fun. You want to be one of the guys. You don’t want to be left out. One of your friends goes first, and he gets away with it. Now you try, and bingo! You’re tagged. Before when kids were caught taking cupcakes, the lunch lady made them pay double, so you thought that this time, if you were caught, it would be no big deal, the risk would be minimal. You had the money in your pocket to pay double, so you thought you had all bases covered. The universe, however, says, “Yo, kid. I’m an abundant place. You knew that already. Stealing is wrong. So guess what? I made sure the principal was standing there, and you’re busted.” Much to your surprise, you are suspended from school. However, this isn’t the end of the story, and your greatest challenge has yet to occur.

When a group mind has condoned a negative behavior pattern (whether it consists of children, teens, or adults) and it is affected by the laws of the universe, it closes ranks and congratulates you on a job well done or at least tries to convince you that your treatment was unfair. You can either choose to buy into this false sense of belonging, or you can own up to what you did wrong. Accepting responsibility for your actions is by far the biggest challenge.

All of us, at some point, have had to handle peer pressure, and some of it is no big deal, but when that pressure moves into stuff like shoplifting, drugs, alcohol, violence, or destroying property, it’s time for you to step back and think about what sort of energy you’re going to reap should you ride along with the group mind. Since the group mind of the teen years is very limited, and the consequences for actions such as these are great, aren’t the stakes too high? Don’t beat yourself over the head because you wanted to go along with the group. Everyone is presented with lots of challenges in his or her lifetime. It’s the choice that’s important.

Teens aren’t the only ones who have to deal with peer pressure. When you reach adulthood (whenever that is), it doesn’t go away. Some of the worst mistakes in history are the result of a poorly functioning group mind and pressure from that mind. A family can also exert negative pressure if the group mind is infected with drug abuse, alcoholism, or constant negative behavior patterns. Whether you are twenty-one or one-hundred-and-one, a smart cookie knows when to bail out.

So how do you handle peer pressure? In high school and college, I tried to take the humorous way out first. I made a joke, and lightened the energy, so to speak, with laughter. Usually this was enough to get me out of the danger zone. With that I’d change the subject, or hail a friend walking by, or find a good reason to disengage from the group. If this didn’t work, I resorted to honesty. Rather than judging the group, which they wouldn’t like, I usually said something like, “If you want to do that, it’s cool, but I’m not into it.” If they pushed, then I’d add why—and that “why” had a lot to do with what “I” wanted. With younger kids, the statement “My parents would kill me” goes a long way, but with the older teens, especially those who for whatever reason are rejecting authority, this statement will get you ridiculed. Better to be honest and firm in your own goals rather than indicate you are afraid of condemnation. Don’t vacillate and act like they can convince you. Be confident and assertive, which isn’t too hard because you are stating the truth, and the truth alone carries great power.

Amulet for Discernment Spell

This amulet is designed to protect you and help you make wise choices when you feel that you may be influenced by peer pressure in a negative way.

Supplies: A small amount of clay (of your choice); sharp pencil or pen.

Instructions: Flatten the clay into a disk the size of a fifty-cent piece. Inscribe your initials on one side with the pen or pencil. Write the words Karma and the name of Spirit or your patron deity on the other side. Follow the instructions on the clay package—some clays can air dry, others require baking—to harden the clay. In a magick circle, cleanse, consecrate, and bless the amulet, asking that protection and wisdom surround you whenever you carry it in pocket or purse. Follow this by saying:

I let go of time and space

and connect with love and infinite grace

the perfection of (name God or Goddess).

I join with Spirit

I am part of the One!

I conceive the form [wisdom]

I remove error

I accept success [wise choices]

with the power of unlimited creativity

my word is done.

So mote it be.

You can change the words in parentheses to match any spellcasting intent. This was just one example. Use your own creativity to tailor the spell just for you.