Part 2. Family Affairs

Chapter 4. Family Matters

Seeking an end to family estrangement

Dear Mom and Dad,

I am so sorry that we have not been speaking to each other for so long; I very much want you both back in my life.

I know we will never agree on everything, but I love you and I know you both love me.

I’m writing to tell you that I plan to call next Wednesday evening. We can talk about what got us to this point, but much more importantly I’d like to talk about how we can reconnect as a family. I miss you both.

Love,

Roger

Warning about college grades

Dear Evan,

I am writing to let you know that your father and I are very concerned about your grades this semester at Rolling Meadow Prep School. We received a notification that you are in danger of failing three out of five of your subjects.

We were very proud of you graduating in the top ten percent of your middle-school class and receiving a scholarship to Rolling Meadow. That is why we know you are more than capable of succeeding.

As you prepare for college, one of your biggest challenges will be to learn how to manage your time. We want you to enjoy your new freedom at school, but studies must come first.

We will always be here for you; please let us know if there is a problem we can help you with or if you want us to seek some guidance from counselors at the school.

Love,

Mom

Asking for reduced gift giving

Dear Betsy,

We are very much looking forward to seeing all of our family again this Christmas.

It’s been a tough year for most of us; speaking for myself, we’ve had more than a few financial hits this year. Brad and I are doing our best to keep spirits up, but the kids have had to learn for the first time what it’s like to live on a tight budget.

I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to make a suggestion that will make it easier on all of us in these difficult times: I’d like to limit the cost of any one gift to no more than $10. (Actually, if you want to give a bit more to the kids and a candy bar to the adults, that’s fine with us.)

As far as we are concerned, it is gift enough to see the family. That’s what Christmas is supposed to be all about anyway.

And we can hope that next year will be a better one for us all. Please let me know what you think of my idea.

Love,

Anna

Asking family assistance for holidays

Dear Kerry,

I just got a note from June saying that she and George will not be hosting the holiday party this year; I expect you received a similar note.

They have held the party at their home for many years, and I absolutely agree they deserve a much-needed break. But I would hate to see us miss the chance for a family get-together this year.

Can I suggest we all pitch in to make it a great event? I am not much of a cook, but I do have the space to host the party at my house.

If the cooking is divided up amongst you, Judy, Robin, Andrea, and Frank, I think we could put on a great feast . . . and we’ll let June and George attend as our special guests.

I think it will be fun and truly in the tradition of a family event. Please let me know what you think.

Love,

Mary

Ending family holiday party

Dear Cindy,

As always, I am writing to wish all of you the best for the coming year. This time, though, there is a change; we will not be hosting a holiday party at our home.

As I’m sure you all know, George has been undergoing chemotherapy for the past few months—a very difficult time for us—and is just now beginning to regain his strength. Happily, it appears that he is on the road to recovery.

Several months ago we made the decision that as soon as he was able we were going to head somewhere warm and different. And so we have booked a two-week cruise to South America that will leave in mid-December and return after January 1.

We promise to extend a toast to all of you and wish that you and your family enjoy much happiness and good fortune in the New Year.

Fondly,

June

Defusing family argument

Dear Uncle Steve,

I hope you will once more come to our annual New Year’s Day party. We very much enjoy having the whole family together for the day.

I would, though, make one special request. For the past several years, you and Uncle Jack have become embroiled in some very loud and sometimes unpleasant disagreements about politics. It has put an edge on what should be a celebration of family togetherness and the New Year.

The last thing anyone wants to do is deny anyone the right to their opinion, but we find the prospect of another party like last year to be rather upsetting.

I have written the same note to Uncle Jack. I could not think of celebrating without the two of you there. I just want this New Year to begin on a positive note. Can I have your word that we’ll stick to football, food, and family matters?

Love,

Lilly

Alerting family to awkward situation at upcoming party

Dear Family,

The holidays are just a few weeks away, and I want to make sure all of you know that we hope you will join us at the dinner we plan on Christmas Day.

Obviously, this year will be different from years past. Dad has accepted my invitation, and he will be bringing his new wife, Ella.

This has been a difficult year for all of us, but I don’t want to exclude dad from our gathering, and that now means that Ella is part of the family as well.

I have already spoken at great length with mom, and she agrees that it is more important than ever that the family stay in touch. Mom has decided that she will make a brief appearance at the party after dinner; we hope that in later years, with the passage of time, the situation will become a bit less awkward.

I hope you will all join us at the party and that we can all treat mom and dad and Ella with love.

Love,

Susan

No gifts because of economy

To Our Family,

I am writing first to tell you all how happy I am that we will be getting together again this year for our Christmas gathering. Seeing all of you and having our children spend time with their relatives is the essence of the holiday for us.

Unfortunately, though, this year brings difficult times for us. With Tom being laid off and my hours at the museum reduced, we have barely enough money to spend on the mortgage and essentials.

Our family has always made a big deal about gift giving, especially to the children.

Our children already know how things have changed in our household. Actually, they have been very good about finding ways to help us save money. One thing we have decided together is that this year we will not be able to participate in the exchange of presents.

I know we are not the only ones suffering in this economy, and I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for us. We are very lucky to have a wonderful family and a great party to go to.

Just as we do not intend to spend money on gifts, we also do not expect you to do so for us. We would be very happy to exchange cards, handmade crafts, and cookies.

Love,

Tina

No children at adult party

Lynn Hutton

Dear Lynn,

I am so pleased that you will be coming to Rolling Meadow to attend Uncle Harold’s 80th birthday.

In your letter you said you and Dan would be making a weekend of it and bringing your children. We are looking forward to seeing the kids, but we ask that they not come to the birthday dinner, which will be held at a very adult restaurant here in town.

I am sure there will be time for them to see Uncle Harold and Aunt Abby at some point during your visit.

I am enclosing a list of some excellent babysitters; we know them all and I’m sure one of them can help watch the children when you come to the party.

Looking forward to seeing you.

Sincerely,

Wendy