26

I didn’t feel bad this time. What Celeste said about zombies being monsters really made sense. They weren’t people anymore. I had to remember what Mr. O’Hara had told me, and try just to bonk them on the head, no bashing. Maybe they could be fixed up good and made human again. I dunno.

Still, I made sure I cleaned off my bat pretty darn good. My mom would see it and ask questions.

I ran home. Mom and Dad were waiting for me. They looked happy, but not “you just saved your little sis from zombies” happy. Jermaine was there as well, rubbing Mr. Snuffles behind the ears.

“Jermaine brought Honor home,” said Dad.

“Yeah,” said Jermaine. “I told your folks we split up to look for her, and you went around the long way by the railroad tracks in case she’d gone that direction.”

Jermaine’s smart. I could never think up a fib that good.

“Right!” I answered. “And, uh, she didn’t, I guess.”

My parents smiled at me. My dad patted me on the head. Then he went back to weeding the rosebushes, or whatever it was he was doing.

“Where’s Honor?” I asked Mom.

“She went to her room.”

I went and looked for her. She was on her bed, crying.

“Larry! I can’t believe there were so many zombies!”

“Um, yeah,” I answered. “Lots of zombies. All over town.”

“I thought there might be one or two, and I’d just run away from them. They walk really slow.”

They do. Mostly, if it’s just one zombie, you can get away by walking faster. Easy-peasy, right?

ZOMBIE TIP

This is exactly right. A person in good health can expect to walk faster than a single zombie. It’s just that if you meet one ghoul, there are probably a lot more around.

“But there was a bunch of them. And Mr. Snuffles wanted to play with them,” sobbed Honor. “He got away from me. I was so scared!”

“Yeah, when I saw him he had a—”

He had a leg.

“Oh my gosh, Honor! Where is he now?”

“He was in the yard a few minutes ago,” Honor replied.

Yes, he was there when I came in. Only he didn’t have the severed zombie leg. The one with the Converse tennis shoe. “What happened to the leg, Honor? Did you throw it away before you got home?”

Maybe I could save it for Mr. O’Hara. If his BURP science people can really cure the zombies, it would be tough for one to be without a leg ’cause my dog ran off with it.

“Uh, he dropped it in the bushes across the street. I think. Maybe.”

I ran downstairs. I had to find the leg and save it for BURP. Wrap it in foil and hide it in the freezer, maybe? But I could never explain that to Dad when he went looking for leftovers.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just leave it in the neighbor’s yard. See, I didn’t think I had knocked out the zombie who owned the leg. When I was, uh, dealing with the zeds, I don’t think he was among them. Did zombies come looking for their own body parts?

Jermaine would know, but he’d gone home. No time to call him.

I went through the front door. Dad was working in the flower beds. I looked across the street. Nothing to see. I mean, there were bushes and stuff, but no leg sticking out of them.

I could have gone poking around with a stick. If I had a stick, which I didn’t.

Plus my dad would have asked what I was up to. The neighbors would come out and yell at me.

Sorry, Mr. Zollinger, I’m looking for a zombie leg! I think I lost it over here!

Didn’t think so.

Then I heard muffled barking. It was the sound Snuffles makes when he’s got something in his mouth.

Oh.