CHAPTER 7
It’s 2008. Gugs bends down to tie my shoelace. He smiles broadly up at me, stands and opens the sliding door. “What do you want to show me?” I ask, as I step out into the garden.
“I bought them for us.” My eyes latch onto a matching pair of silver Scott bicycles.
I look back at him in surprise. “And now?” I ask.
“I signed us up for the 94.7 cycle race,” he grins.
“But that’s two weeks away!” I respond in shock.
He pulls me close and, with his signature smile, he spills the beans. “I wanted to get these months ago, but I couldn’t then so … Surprise!” I break into a smile and give him a kiss. “You’re fit enough, you’ll be okay.” I nod and accept the challenge.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I was thrown into the lifestyle that we nurtured and how we came to be known as The Adventure Couple.
That first 94.7 proves to be one of the toughest races I have ever embarked on at this point. At the age of 24, I am “running fit” but nowhere near the level needed to complete a cycling race of nearly 95 kilometres. During the race, Gugs is very patient, motivating me to keep going every time my bum hurts and I want nothing else but to get off the bike. I go through periods of getting off the bike and running alongside it because running is what comes naturally to me. He allows me to do whatever I need to, as long as I don’t give up. He is by my side every minute of the way, every pedal stroke from start to finish – as he always has been throughout our relationship. What follow are a good eight years of countless adventures on and off the road, in the air and even underwater.
“Live life to the full.” That was our motto and we truly did. Our energies interlink from early on. We are complementary, two halves of a whole; both of us very active, both highly competitive.
When we started dating seven years earlier in 2001, I was the runner and he the cyclist. We both had a thirst for outdoor adventure, a mutual interest that bonded us from the start. Throughout our adventures, we made many friends along the way. When you’re not a professional, both running and cycling are great social sports. In races, we’d often spent time in the middle to the back of the field where a lot of walking takes place and inevitably we’d end up getting into conversation with those around us. Long-lasting friendships were made this way.
Gugs was always the drawcard, the one who could easily chat to complete strangers. He was, without hesitation, always warm and friendly. He had a way of making everyone he spoke to feel like his best friend at that particular moment. No matter who you were, for that moment he gave you his full attention; your pain was his pain, your joy was his joy, you were his priority. And this is why I think his passing impacted so many people around the world.
From the moment I met him, he completely blew my mind. It was the year 2000. I was just 16 at the time; he was 22. I was in Grade 11 at boarding school in Grahamstown, and he was a Midrand University student and a racing driver in Johannesburg. We were brought together by two friends who were dating at the time. Siphokazi Kwakweni was my friend from school and Nyameko Williams was Gugs’s fellow racing driver. Siphokazi had had a brief encounter with Gugs over a race weekend and was blown away by his personality and charm from that chance meeting, enough to immediately conclude that he was the perfect guy for me. She asked Nyameko for Gugs’s numbers, which she passed on to me. That was the start of our whirlwind telephonic romance.
We texted and called each other for the next seven months, getting to know each other little by little, day by day. We finally met face to face in January 2001 just before I went back to Grahamstown to complete my matric year. My mom was very strict, so I spun a story about wanting to meet up with an old friend who had been overseas for years.
Our first date was like a coming together of two young hearts in love. We met at Fourways Mall and had lunch there. I remember being so smitten that I couldn’t stop smiling the entire time. In fact, we both couldn’t stop smiling, like besotted teenagers. After lunch, he took my hand and we walked to the outdoor area alongside the dam. This is where he officially asked me to be his girlfriend and, without batting an eyelid, I accepted. Like a scene out of a movie, he lifted me up onto the dam wall and we shared our first kiss.
My unsuspecting mom had dropped me off for the date and far too soon it was time for pick-up. I remember us walking through the mall hand in hand, smiling from ear to ear, feeling on top of the world but oblivious to the fact that this would be the start of our 15-year love story.
In truth, Gugu was my definition of perfection. I don’t say this now because he was my husband, or because he has passed away. I say it because it was real for me and because it helps me explain how I gradually came to terms with my enormous loss and managed to slowly overcome my grief.