10

THE NEXT DAY, Deirdre wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and let herself out the back door. While Mama rested and Dr. Clayborne talked with Daddy, she allowed herself a rare moment alone, grateful for the opportunity to walk around her beloved grounds.

All these years, she’d taken her home and her large family for granted. But now, seeing them through Phoebe and Matthew’s eyes, Deirdre realized how truly blessed she was to be surrounded by such love.

Brianna had shown up again this morning with her children so Phoebe could participate in the lessons without worrying Matthew. The joy on the girl’s face as she’d joined Betsy, Rose, and Sean at the table made Deirdre’s heart sing. These children could be the key to Phoebe coming out of her shell; Deirdre felt certain of it.

She shivered, pulling her shawl closer around her, and wandered through the garden toward the far enclosure where Connor worked with the stallion. Excalibur seemed much calmer today, allowing Connor to lead him around the pen with little fuss.

“Hello, Deirdre.”

She whirled around to see a familiar man on the path. He wore a wool jacket, tan pants, and scuffed boots. Brown hair peeked out from a flat cap.

She squinted. “Caleb Sullivan? Is that you?”

When he gave her his trademark crooked grin, she knew for sure.

“Glad you remember your old friend.”

She rushed over to embrace him, then pulled back. “What are you doing here? I thought you moved to Montana.”

“You mean after you broke my heart?”

Deirdre gave him a playful swat. “I did no such thing. You always knew I would never marry a farmer.”

She and her siblings had grown up with the Sullivans, their nearest neighbors, and Connor and Caleb had been best friends all through school.

Caleb sobered. “Instead, you picked a lawyer—or so the family wrote to tell me.”

The mere mention of Jeffrey brought a wave of heat to Deirdre’s cheeks. “Unfortunately, that didn’t work out, and I’ve sworn off marriage altogether.” She pasted on a wide smile. “But what are you doing here? Visiting your family?”

“Actually, I’m back for good. Dad can’t keep up with the farm anymore, so I’m taking on a large share of the workload.” He moved closer to her. “I heard about your mother. How is she doing?”

Deirdre stilled. Would she ever get used to answering that question? “She’s gradually regaining her strength. We’re hopeful in time she’ll be able to walk again.”

He rubbed a hand down her arm. “If anyone can help her, you can, Dee.”

Sudden memories of the time Caleb had professed his feelings for her came rushing back—along with the recollection of the hurt she’d inflicted when she’d told him she was leaving Long Island.

Deirdre carefully stepped away. “Thank you, Caleb. I’m sure Connor will be thrilled to see you. If you’ll excuse me, I’d best get back to Mama.”

A flash of disappointment crossed his features. “Of course. See you around, Dee.”

Only after she’d gone back inside the house did she pause to consider whether Caleb had come to see her brother—or her.

Matthew climbed the sweeping staircase to the second floor and made his way to the room where Miss Shearing had been tutoring Phoebe. The nanny had asked to see him, and Matthew had a sinking feeling he knew what she wanted to speak to him about.

On a deep inhale, he gave two sharp raps.

“Come in.”

Matthew opened the door and looked in. At the far side of the cheerful room, Miss Shearing stood staring out the window.

She turned to face him, her features pinched. “Thank you for coming. I wanted to speak to you in private.”

Matthew entered the room, taking note of the welcoming décor—chintz chairs, breezy curtains, and a large white fireplace. “I’ve been meaning to speak with you as well.” He gestured to the upholstered chairs. “Would you care to sit?”

“I’d prefer to stand.”

“Very well. What is it you wish to discuss?” Matthew braced himself for her complaints.

She walked over to the desk and picked up a book, holding it in front of her like a shield. “If Phoebe is to take lessons with the Whelan children every day, then what is my role to be?”

So his assumption had been correct—she didn’t like being usurped by Brianna Whelan. Phoebe, however, was enjoying her sessions with them, and Matthew wouldn’t deny her happiness simply to please the nanny. He braced for unpleasantness. “Actually, I believe the timing is fortuitous. We agreed you would stay until Phoebe had grown accustomed to her new surroundings. Now that she’s settled, I feel it’s time for you to return to Toronto. I’ll happily pay your salary while you take the next few weeks off until we return.”

Instead of appearing grateful for the chance at a paid holiday, Miss Shearing frowned.

“Is there a problem?”

She lifted her pointy chin, nostrils flaring. “As a matter of fact, there is. I see what’s happening, and I cannot remain silent.”

Matthew forced his shoulders to relax as he waited for her to continue.

Miss Shearing moved away from the desk. “I would appreciate your honesty, Doctor. Do you intend to marry Miss O’Leary?”

Every muscle in Matthew’s body went rigid. “Where did you get that ridiculous idea?”

Red blotches spread across the nanny’s thin cheeks. “I’m not blind. When she’s in the room, no one else commands your attention. You act . . . differently around her.” She paused, squeezing her hands together.

Matthew stilled, unable to dispute her claim. He was attracted to Deirdre—not that he would ever act on it. However, the fact that Miss Shearing had noticed was unsettling at best.

“You indicated when you hired me that you had no intention to remarry,” she continued. “If you’ve changed your mind, I believe I have a right to know, especially given the way Miss O’Leary tries to undermine my authority with Phoebe.”

“I haven’t changed my mind,” he said stiffly, ignoring the comment about Deirdre.

The woman came closer, intensity bringing life to her eyes. “If you ever do, please know that you have other . . . options . . . available to you.”

Matthew blinked, certain he must have misconstrued her meaning. “I assure you, Miss Shearing, I have no such intention. Now, getting back to the matter at hand, I will arrange your transportation home as soon as possible.”

He stared at her until she lowered her gaze.

“As you wish.” She crossed the room but stopped at the door. “I cannot leave, however, without a word of warning. Earlier today, I saw Miss O’Leary with a man near the garden, involved in a seemingly intimate conversation. You should know you’re not the only man she’s flirting with.”

An uncomfortable sensation moved through Matthew’s chest—part irritation, part guilt. After leaving James’s study that morning, Matthew had gone for a walk outdoors where he, too, had witnessed Deirdre talking with a stranger. At their seeming familiarity, a flare of something akin to jealousy had twisted Matthew’s stomach. A sense of unease had plagued him ever since.

Now he fought to remain logical. “That type of character assassination is uncalled for, Miss Shearing. You have no idea who that man was. Perhaps an old friend or a neighbor.”

Hadn’t he tried to convince himself of the same thing?

Miss Shearing’s expression told him she didn’t believe his theory for a minute. “Nevertheless, it would pay to be cautious. Good day, Doctor.”

When the door shut firmly behind her, Matthew sank onto a nearby chair. Emotions churned through his system like thick oil through a clogged engine. How had his life become filled with such drama? Ever since Priscilla died, he’d tried to live a quiet existence, focused on his daughter and his work. But since meeting Deirdre O’Leary, everything had turned upside down, including his staid nanny.

As Matthew headed downstairs to make arrangements for her train ticket, his shoulders slumped with the weight of a new worry. He would have to find a replacement for Miss Shearing since he could no longer ignore the fact that she hoped for a personal relationship with him—something that would never happen.

He released a weary sigh. The next time he hired anyone—be it nanny, governess, or housekeeper—he would make sure the woman was old enough to be his grandmother.

The next afternoon, Deirdre breezed into Mama’s therapy room with a wide smile. “It’s a beautiful day, possibly the last one before winter sets in. I suggest we take advantage of the weather.” She hoped to get Matthew and Phoebe outdoors today for something other than work.

Seated behind the desk, Matthew lifted his head from the paperwork, a frown wrinkling his brow. “But we haven’t finished our session.”

“I’m sure Mama wouldn’t mind a break.” She gave her mother a playful wink.

“Not at all. I’d love to spend some time with my husband.”

Matthew removed his reading glasses and set them on the table. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. And I could catch up on my reading.”

Deirdre walked over and flipped his book closed. “Oh no. You will not waste this day indoors poring over medical journals. We’re taking Phoebe for a walk to my sister’s house.”

Ignoring his glower, she moved then to help her mother back into her wheelchair. “I’ll take you into the parlor, Mama, and send Daddy over.”

“Thank you, honey. This is a wonderful idea. Little Phoebe could use an outing.”

Still frowning, Matthew rose. “Why are we going to the Whelans’?”

Deirdre slipped a pillow behind her mother’s back and arranged the shawl over her knees. “Because you’ve been promising to let Phoebe see the puppies, and it’s the perfect day to enjoy the walk over.”

Matthew’s mouth formed a hard line, one Deirdre had come to know all too well. She stifled a grin. If she had her way, he might actually loosen up and enjoy himself.

She grasped the handles of the chair and wheeled Mama out into the hallway toward the parlor, leaving Matthew little choice but to follow.

Twenty minutes later, after collecting Phoebe from the kitchen where Mrs. Harrison had been letting her help bake sugar cookies, the trio set off on their adventure.

In direct contrast to Matthew’s staid demeanor, Phoebe’s eyes sparkled with excitement. She skipped ahead of them across the pastures, stopping to pick an array of late-blooming wildflowers, leaving Deirdre and Matthew in awkward silence.

Matthew walked stiffly, his arms clasped behind him. “So, Miss O’Leary—”

“Deirdre.”

“Yes, Deirdre. What made you decide to become a doctor after earning your nursing degree?”

She plucked a long strand of grass and twirled it between her fingers. “Ever since I survived typhoid fever, I wanted to work with children. While nursing is satisfactory in some regards, the amount of influence I had over a patient’s care was minimal—always having to defer to the doctor’s decisions.” She quirked a brow. “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“As a pediatrician, I would wield more power. Be a more effective healer.” She grinned. “I’d also be much nicer to the nursing staff.”

He gave a small chuckle. “We doctors do earn a bad reputation in that regard.”

The sound of his light laughter sent tingles along her arms. Was this the first time she’d heard him laugh? His arm brushed hers as they walked, and her pulse rate jumped. She focused her attention back to a safe topic of conversation. “How about you? What made you go into physiotherapy?”

Even though she knew the answer, she wanted to hear his explanation.

He glanced over at her. “I presume you know I was injured in the war.”

“Uncle Victor mentioned it.”

“I ended up in a hospital in England. The doctor who treated me specialized in new therapy techniques. He worked with me to overcome my lameness.”

She paid more attention to his gait. “Obviously it worked well, since you walk with barely a limp.”

“Thank you. It did prove quite successful.”

“So you decided to bring those techniques back to Canada?”

“Precisely.”

“But the war ended years ago. Surely the number of soldiers needing treatment must be decreasing.”

“True, which is why I’m hoping to expand my practice to polio and stroke victims. There may also be advantages to using therapies on accident victims suffering from paralysis—to keep the muscles from atrophying if nothing else.” He grew more animated as he spoke, and a flush of color infused his face.

“So in a way, my mother’s case could prove timely for you.”

He raised a brow. “That was never in question. It was the necessity to leave my other patients that worried me. It still does.”

Her admiration for Matthew swelled, thinking of how much he’d sacrificed, albeit reluctantly at first, to come to Irish Meadows. “I’m sure they’re all doing splendidly.”

They walked in silence for several minutes, content to watch Phoebe run after the leaves blowing across the grass.

Finally Deirdre gathered her courage. “If I ask you something, will you give me an honest answer?”

He turned his piercing gaze on her. “I am always honest, Deirdre.”

Her heart did a slow roll in her chest. “Of course you are.” She hesitated. “Do you think Mama will ever walk again?”

He pursed his lips. “I can’t guarantee anything, but there’s been definite improvement in motor function and strength. I see no reason why she won’t eventually regain the use of her leg and hand.”

Deirdre let out a slow breath. “That’s a relief to hear.”

Brianna and Gil’s house came into view—a simple brick home with a wraparound porch. Betsy and Rose flew out the front door and across the grass with Sean close behind. Once they reached Phoebe, the chatter of her nieces along with Phoebe’s giggles warmed Deirdre’s heart.

Would she ever be fortunate enough to have children, or would caring for her young patients have to suffice?

Her longing must have shown on her face, for Matthew peered at her in a quizzical manner. “Given your apparent love of children, are you prepared to sacrifice having a family of your own for your career?”

Her footsteps slowed as she stored her emotions back into place. “It has already cost me a fiancé, but I still hold out hope that I might meet a man who’s willing to accept a working wife.”

Furrows etched Matthew’s brow. “You were engaged?”

“For a time. Jeffrey studied law at Columbia. He didn’t seem to mind my nursing, but when he learned I wished to pursue a medical degree, he was furious. He’d accepted a wonderful job in Philadelphia and expected me to follow him.”

“Why not study at the university there?” Matthew asked. “They have an excellent medical program.”

She shrugged. “Jeffrey expected me to quit my job, and I wasn’t willing to give up my dream just to become Mrs. Atcheson. So he broke our engagement and left. That was five months ago.” A familiar pang squeezed her heart, an echo of the immense sense of betrayal she’d felt at the time. Yet now, after the hurt had faded, she could see that she had never really loved Jeffrey.

Matthew remained silent, as though pondering his response. “I can sympathize, believe me. At first my wife appeared to support my career, but she soon began to resent my long hours at the hospital. It became a thorny issue in our marriage.”

“I’m sorry. That must have been difficult.”

“It was. I was constantly torn between my duty as a husband and my duty to my patients. Which is why when Priscilla died, I decided I would never remarry.”

Shock spurted through Deirdre’s system. That seemed wrong on so many levels. Despite his gruff demeanor, Matthew was kind and loyal. He would make a fine husband for someone. And the thought of Phoebe never having the love of a mother, of growing up with the dour Miss Shearing, made Deirdre’s heart ache. “Being Phoebe’s only parent must be difficult as well. Surely you’ve had to make time for her?”

He pressed his lips together. “I’ve tried. Finding a balance has been . . . problematic.”

For the first time, Deirdre understood more behind Phoebe’s emotional issues. Before she could respond, the children came running toward them.

Sean and Rose reached them first. “Aunt Dee-Dee! Mama said we could skip our lessons this afternoon to play with Phoebe and the puppies.”

Betsy and Phoebe followed, their faces mirrors of delight.

Deirdre’s spirits rose, buoyed by the children’s infectious joy. “That’s wonderful! I’m dying to see the puppies.” She took Betsy by the hand and held out the other to Phoebe. The girl smiled and slipped her hand into Deirdre’s.

She grinned at them. “Come on, girls. Let’s race to the barn.”

Matthew watched Deirdre dash across the meadow, the children doing their best to keep up with her. Her laughter blended with the childish giggles that floated on the air. How he envied her zest for life, the uncomplicated manner in which she put her all into every moment.

Matthew followed at a more sedate rate, surprised when Sean appeared beside him, mimicking Matthew’s stride.

“Dr. Clayborne?”

“Yes, Sean.”

“I’m sorry for making you have to rescue me and Aunt Dee-Dee from the horse. And for scaring Phoebe.” Sean’s words sounded stiff, as if his mother had prompted the apology.

Matthew glanced at the boy, whose gaze stayed glued to the ground. “You gave us all quite a scare. I hope you learned something from the incident.”

“I learned a lot about cleaning up after horses.”

Matthew coughed to cover a snort of laughter. “I was thinking more about respecting the rules.”

“Oh yeah. Papa gave me a lecture about that. He said I have to set a good example for the other kids.” The lad peered up at Matthew. “I hope Phoebe won’t be too scared to ride our pony. She’ll love Twizzle. He’s really gentle.”

Matthew’s insides twisted at the thought. “We’ll see.”

“Do you ride horses, Dr. Clayborne?”

Matthew repressed a shudder. “I learned when I was young, but in the city, we use autos now.”

Sean’s expression of sorrow was almost comical.

They reached the Whelans’ barn and entered through a door the others had left open. Inside, Matthew found a tidy space containing stalls, a work area, and a ladder to the loft. The pleasant scent of hay filled the area.

High-pitched squeals drew Matthew’s attention to the far corner where the girls knelt in the straw. Deirdre peered over their shoulders.

Rose and Betsy each clutched a ball of fur. Matthew moved closer, muscles tightening in fear that the mother might be protective of her pups.

But the black and white dog lay contentedly on the straw with three babies nursing.

Deirdre picked up a black pup with white markings and held it to her face. “Aren’t you the sweetest thing?” She kissed the top of the animal’s small head.

“That’s Patches, Aunt Dee-Dee,” Rose informed her. “Phoebe, do you want to hold one?”

His daughter raised her head, eyes imploring him for permission.

He forced his muscles to relax. “Go ahead.”

“Here, take Patches.” Deirdre placed the squirming puppy in Phoebe’s arms.

Almost immediately, the animal nestled against her neck, and Phoebe’s eyes grew round.

Matthew kept a close watch for any sign that Phoebe’s breathing might be affected, but she seemed fine.

Deirdre turned to Matthew. “Your turn. Come and hold one.”

“Oh no. I’m fine right here.”

She grabbed his hand, tugging him forward. “No one can resist puppies. Am I right, kids?”

Rose and Betsy snorted as though they had trouble picturing him with one.

Matthew had only a second to nurse his indignation before Deirdre plopped a wriggling ball of fur in his arms.

“What’s this one’s name?” Deirdre asked.

“Rufus.” Sean reached up to pat him. “He’s my favorite.”

The tiny body snuggled into Matthew’s chest. Never having had a pet of his own, he was unused to animals, yet he found the rapid heartbeat and tiny whimpers oddly endearing.

Deirdre moved in close to stroke its ears. “He’s a handsome boy. Aren’t you, Rufus?”

She raised her head and smiled at Matthew, her face inches from his. The air seemed to congeal in his lungs. For several seconds, he couldn’t catch his breath. All he saw were the startling green eyes, brimming with life, and the dimples that seemed to wink at him.

“Papa? Can I have a puppy?”

Every muscle in his body froze. Deirdre’s astonished expression proved he hadn’t imagined Phoebe’s sweet voice. A voice he hadn’t heard in ages.

Slowly, he crouched beside her, still holding the pup. “What did you say?” he whispered.

“Can I have a puppy?” Hope brightened her gaze.

He wanted to answer, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate. Hot prickles stung the backs of his eyes.

A warm hand squeezed his shoulder.

Deirdre leaned down to Phoebe. “Why don’t you give your father time to think about it? The puppies are too young to leave their mother yet anyway.”

Phoebe nodded, but the spark left her eyes and her bottom lip trembled.

Matthew’s stomach clenched. He couldn’t be responsible for any more disappointment in her young life. He cupped her chin with his free hand. “When the puppies are old enough, you may pick one for your own.”

Pure joy beamed from her face. “Thank you, Papa. Thank you.”

She launched herself into his arms, puppies and all. He gathered her to him, careful not to squish Rufus or Patches.

“Why are you crying, Aunt Dee-Dee?” Sean asked.

Tears glistened on Deirdre’s cheeks as she leaned forward and kissed Phoebe’s face. “I’m just happy Phoebe’s going to get a puppy. I remember when I got my first pet.”

Matthew set Phoebe on the ground, the dog still clutched in her arms.

Beside them, Betsy plopped down in the bed of straw. “Which one is your favorite, Phoebe?”

“I like Patches.”

The whisper was the sweetest thing Matthew had ever heard. “Well, then,” he said, “if no one minds, we’ll choose Patches to become part of our family.”

Family. It was time to remember that he and Phoebe were still a family, even if a rather unconventional one.

His daughter’s smile and Deirdre’s approving wink loosened the tightness in Matthew’s chest.

Perhaps coming to Irish Meadows hadn’t been a mistake after all.