16

DEIRDRE SETTLED BACK in her chair, allowing the warmth from the fire to ease the chill in her body, though nothing seemed to chase the apprehension from her heart. Things could have so easily gone wrong for them. Only by the grace of God had they found this cabin.

Otherwise they’d have certainly perished.

She thanked God for the hundredth time that she wasn’t alone, that Matthew was with her, steadying her with his calm demeanor.

“So, when do you plan on returning to your studies?” Matthew’s deep voice had a soothing quality about it. She allowed it to lull her away from her worries. Away from the discomfort in her body.

She glanced over at him on the chair beside her. “Not until Mama’s back on her feet and able to function without assistance.”

“That could take months. Will they hold your place at the university?”

The question was one that had plagued Deirdre of late. She’d been away for nearly six weeks now. How could she even begin to catch up on all the material she’d missed?

“I don’t know. I’ll likely have to start over next semester.” She lifted her chin, determined not to think in negative terms. “But it will be worth it to have Mama’s health back.”

“She’s lucky to have you.” Matthew’s voice was gruff. “I know what it’s like to be incapacitated, far from home and family. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

Deirdre hated the thought of him badly injured in a foreign land. “Your wife must have been frantic.”

A log shifted in the hearth, causing a shower of embers to fly out. Matthew reached over to slap at a spark that landed on her blanket. “Priscilla’s letters indicated she was worried, as well as angry. She hadn’t agreed with my decision to enter the war and held a great deal of resentment.”

“It must have been hard to leave, knowing how she felt.”

“It was.” He paused. “Especially when she told me she might be expecting. Though I confess I thought she was lying to keep me from going.”

Deirdre tried to imagine how she would feel if the man she loved, her husband, was going off to war. “She didn’t understand that going to war was important to you?” Deirdre asked quietly.

“She didn’t even try. Priscilla didn’t like any deviations from the life she had planned.” Matthew winced. “Still, I should have been more sensitive to her fears.”

Deirdre shifted on the hard chair, her curiosity getting the best of her. “Forgive me for saying so, but your marriage doesn’t sound like a happy one.”

The muscles in his jaw tightened.

“I’m sorry. That’s none of my business.”

He released a weary breath. “Your statement is accurate. I married Priscilla because it seemed logical at the time. Unfortunately, I didn’t live up to her expectations for a husband.”

Deirdre’s heart ached for Matthew. A wife was supposed to be a source of comfort and support. Priscilla Clayborne sounded like anything but. “That must have been a terrible time for you.”

He nodded, staring into the fire, and rubbed a hand over his thigh. “When I returned from England, I tried to make amends, for Phoebe’s sake, but nothing helped. Then Priscilla took ill.”

Deirdre reached over to cover his hand with hers. “I can’t imagine the heartache you’ve had to endure.”

When he turned to her, his eyes swam with agony. “I’d rather face ten years on the battlefield than to endure my daughter being sick again.” He remained silent for several minutes. Then suddenly a whisper croaked out. “Priscilla’s death was my fault. I waited too long to take her to a sanatorium. Her parents still blame me.”

Helpless frustration seized Deirdre as she absorbed the grief Matthew had endured. She recalled how surly he’d been when they’d first met, and for the first time she understood the immense pain that had shaped him. The rare glimpses of hesitancy with his patients now made sense. She’d heard of other doctors losing their confidence after feeling responsible for a patient’s death.

She gripped his hand tighter. “Don’t let them make you doubt your skills, Matthew. I’ve worked with many physicians and I can tell you’re a wonderful doctor.”

He shook his head sadly. “I wish I could believe that.” He rose and went to check on Sean again, as if to prove he wasn’t shirking his duty.

Deirdre’s heart grew heavy as she watched him. How could Matthew not realize his own worth? If it weren’t for him, Sean would be dead.

He returned to the chair beside her. “You should rest. I don’t want you to become ill from this mishap.”

“If I do, it’s my own fault.” The guilt that had been sitting like a weight on her shoulders now bubbled to the surface.

His confused gaze swung to her. “How is this your fault?”

“I acted without thinking, ready to rush off on my own. If I had, Sean would have perished.” Admitting her recklessness aloud caused the burn of tears.

“That’s not true—”

“It is. I couldn’t have lifted the tree alone. I would’ve had to go back for help, and it would have been too late.” She swiped her fingers across her eyes. “You saved Sean’s life.”

He studied her, the firelight glowing on his face. “You were the one who knew about this cabin. If I’d had to bring Sean home in that storm, we’d be looking at a very different outcome.”

Foolish tears brimmed again. “I didn’t think the situation through. I’m far too impulsive. It’s one of my worst traits.”

This time Matthew took her hand and engulfed it in his. “Acting quickly is not a bad thing. I, on the other hand, am too cautious, which can be equally detrimental.”

She attempted a shaky smile, relishing the warmth of his fingers surrounding hers. “Perhaps we balance each other’s flaws.”

“Perhaps we do.” He lifted her hand to his lips, his eyes trained on her face.

The intensity of his gaze made her heart flutter. The air seemed to thicken and grow warm around them. Light from the fire danced in the hearth, casting shadows against the wooden walls behind Matthew’s head. A look of regret passed over his features before he pulled back. Releasing her hand, he grabbed his boots and stuffed his feet into them.

“What are you doing?”

He rose, then reached out to brush a strand of hair off her cheek with a sad smile. “A little cool air might do me good right now.”

As the door closed behind him, Deirdre attempted to regulate her breathing. If she weren’t careful, she might easily fall in love with Matthew Clayborne—a turn of events that could put her plans for the future in serious jeopardy.

She would have to take better care to guard her heart, no matter how appealing the man had become.

The morning light seeped through the grimy windows, alerting Matthew to the fact that the night had passed. He rose from his blanket in front of the hearth and stretched his back muscles. Despite the hard floor, he’d managed to get an hour or two of sleep. He hoped Deirdre and Sean had fared better on the sofa.

He rose, tended the fire, and then went to check on his small patient, still slumbering under his aunt’s arm. Carefully, he unwrapped Sean’s feet, relieved to find they were warmer to the touch. Sean stirred as Matthew opened the blanket around his torso. Matthew inspected the boy’s hands, finding them at a good temperature, then laid his hand on Sean’s stomach. His core was still cooler than normal, but improving.

Sean blinked and stared at Matthew. “Dr. Clayborne?”

The tension in Matthew’s shoulders seeped away. He released a long breath. “Hello, Sean. How are you feeling?”

“Thirsty.”

“I’ll get you some water.”

When he came back with the tin cup, Deirdre had also awakened.

“Good morning,” he said. “Can you help Sean sit up?”

“He’s awake?” A wide grin creased her sleepy features.

Matthew smiled in return. “Awake and thirsty.”

Deirdre pressed a kiss to the crown of Sean’s head, then shifted to raise him up against her.

Matthew held the cup to his cracked lips until the boy drained its contents.

“I’m hungry,” Sean announced sullenly.

Deirdre laughed out loud. “So are we, honey. Hopefully we can get home soon to have some of Mrs. Harrison’s oatmeal.”

She looked over at Matthew with such joy that his heart seemed to expand in his chest. Thank you, Lord, for Sean’s recovery.

The boy rubbed his eyes. “Where are we?”

“In Grandpa’s hunting cabin. Do you remember what happened?”

He thought for a moment, and his eyes widened. “I slipped down the hill and crashed into a tree. It fell on top of me.”

Matthew marveled again that they had managed to find the boy in time.

Deirdre hugged Sean. “Your sisters came to tell us. Dr. Clayborne and I got you out.”

Matthew checked the dressing on Sean’s thigh. “How does your leg feel, Sean?”

“It’s sore, and my toes burn.”

Matthew pulled the blanket back over him. “You got frostbite on your feet from being in the cold water. But they’ll get better.”

Matthew got himself and Deirdre a cup of water. The ache in his belly had him wishing for some scrambled eggs and bacon.

Deirdre picked up her clothing she’d spread out to dry. “I’m going to get dressed in the other room.”

Matthew nodded. “I’ll check on the horses. Clear some of the snow.”

Anything to keep from picturing Deirdre putting on her stockings—and remembering taking them off. He shoved his feet into his boots and tugged on his overcoat, then exited the cabin, sweeping snow off the stoop as he went. The cold bite of wind stung his cheeks, and he quickly closed the door to keep in the warmth. Matthew took a moment to survey the pristine expanse of white before him. Above the treetops, slices of gray sky cast shadows over the mounds of snow. How could something so beautiful be so deadly?

He cleared the stairs with his boots and waded through the deep snow toward the lean-to where the horses still stood. Thankfully, the rough structure seemed to have sheltered the beasts from the worst of the storm. He patted their necks and murmured soothing words before heading back inside.

He found Deirdre fully dressed, her hair in a long braid down her back, helping Sean get into his clothes.

“Good news,” he said. “The snow has stopped, and the horses appear fine. I think we can set out for home.”

Deirdre’s smile illuminated the room. She tucked Sean’s feet into his socks. “Are you ready, honey? Your mama and daddy could probably use some good news about now.”

“Do you think Mrs. Harrison will make me pancakes?”

She laughed. “I’m sure she’ll make you anything you want.”

Without warning, the door crashed open.

Matthew’s heart jumped into his throat as three men entered the cabin, dressed in large overcoats with hats and scarves covering most of their faces. He immediately stepped between Deirdre and the intruders.

But she surprised him by rushing forward with a squeal of glee. “Daddy! I knew you’d come.”

James O’Leary caught her in a huge hug. “Are you all right, sweetheart?”

“I’m fine. And Sean is, too.” She pulled away, beaming at him. “Thanks to Matthew.”

Three pairs of eyes turned to him. One of the men rushed past them to the sofa.

“Papa!” Sean tumbled into Gil’s arms.

Gil buried his face in the boy’s neck, his frame shaking with emotion. “Thank you, Lord.”

Deirdre crossed the room to lay a hand on Gil’s shoulders. “He’s okay, Gil. Other than a nasty gash on his leg and a mild case of frostbite.”

Matthew turned his attention to James and Connor. “We were just preparing to leave now that the snow has stopped. I hope you haven’t been out searching all night.”

“No.” James pulled down his scarf. “The storm forced us back home until this morning.”

“I’m sorry you were worried. If there were any way we could have made it back, I would have tried.” Matthew leaned in to lower his voice. “But Sean’s condition was precarious at best. If Deirdre hadn’t known about this cabin . . .” He trailed off, letting the meaning sink in.

“Thank heaven I didn’t tear this place down. I knew it might come in handy.”

“It certainly did.” Matthew let out a breath. For the first time in hours, a huge burden lifted from his shoulders. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll get the rest of my things and we can be off.”

Connor nodded. “I’ll prepare the horses.”

James clapped a hand on Matthew’s back. “You’ll never know how grateful I am for you keeping my daughter and grandson safe.” He gave him a pointed look. “However, when we get home, you and I might need to chat about exactly what went on in this cabin all night.”

Matthew froze, his muscles seizing like an ice-covered tree limb. Images of removing Deirdre’s stockings blazed through his mind, and heat streaked up his neck.

Deirdre came over and linked her hand through James’s arm. “Daddy, don’t scare him like that. You know very well Matthew was a perfect gentleman.”

“If you say so, daughter.” James gave her a wink. “Now let’s get this boy back to his mama and grandmother before they wear themselves out with worry.”