24

AFTER ALL THE GUESTS HAD LEFT the party and Mrs. Johnston had taken Phoebe upstairs, Matthew approached James and Kathleen in the foyer. “May I speak with you both before you retire?”

Kathleen wheeled over. “Is everything all right, Matthew? You look pale.”

“I’ll explain inside.” He gestured to the parlor door.

Deirdre appeared in the hall and came toward them. “Whenever you’re ready, Mama, I’ll help you into bed.”

“In a few minutes, dear. Matthew wants to speak with us.”

Deirdre’s eyebrows rose and her gaze swung to him.

He gave a slight bow. “Please join us. This concerns you as well.”

They entered the parlor, watching him with expectant yet slightly wary expressions.

“Well, Matthew, don’t keep us in suspense. What is this all about?” James’s deep voice boomed out over the room.

Matthew steeled himself. “I’m afraid I must leave Irish Meadows immediately.”

Shocked silence hovered in the room. Against his will, Matthew’s gaze snapped to Deirdre, perched regally on her chair. In her eyes, he saw the disappointment he’d always dreaded.

He turned to Kathleen. “If I wasn’t so certain of your recovery, I could never leave. But you’ve come so far in such a short amount of time, I know you’ll continue to improve on your own.”

She wheeled her chair over and took his hand. “Matthew, dear. My therapy is not important. You and that sweet girl of yours are. What has happened to make you leave so suddenly?”

Looking into her concerned face, it took immense effort to contain his emotions. “My former in-laws have recently returned from England. They weren’t happy to discover I had taken Phoebe out of the country.”

Kathleen bristled. “You have the right to take your daughter wherever you wish.”

“That’s not entirely true.” He moved to stand by the fireplace, staring into the flames. “As I told Deirdre, when my wife died, the Pentergasts tried to take Phoebe from me. After some unpleasant negotiations, we came to an understanding about their access to Phoebe. I had mistakenly assumed that since they were abroad, I didn’t need to inform them where we were. It seems I was wrong. And now they’ve threatened to seek custody again if I don’t return home immediately.”

He shook his head in an attempt to dislodge the memory of the hostile telephone exchange. Apparently, Miss Shearing, bitter over her dismissal, had taken it upon herself to inform his in-laws that he’d taken Phoebe to New York. The Pentergasts had been so upset they’d cut their trip short, returning to Toronto with one plan—to get their granddaughter back home.

Allowing Phoebe to speak to them had momentarily appeased their anger, but it hadn’t stopped their threat at the end of the conversation. “We will be speaking with our lawyer.”

James stalked across the room. “I don’t understand. Why would they do such a thing? There must be more to the story.”

A band of tension seized Matthew’s throat. “We’ve been at odds over Phoebe ever since Priscilla died. The Pentergasts hold me responsible for their daughter’s death.”

“Oh, Matthew. That’s so unfair.” Kathleen reached out to squeeze his arm.

James nodded. “I agree. And making sure your daughter stays with you must take priority now. Go with our blessing and our thanks.” He clapped a beefy hand to Matthew’s shoulder. “And if there’s anything we can do, please let us know.”

“Thank you.” Matthew released a breath, relieved they both understood his plight. Only Deirdre remained unusually silent, her gaze focused across the room. Was she as bereft as he at the thought of never seeing each other again? “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll turn in. It’s been a long day.”

Matthew hoped Deirdre might follow him out and give them a chance to speak privately. But she made no move to join him, and as Matthew started upstairs, he forced his thoughts away from her. Right now, the Pentergasts had to be his sole focus. What would he do if they weren’t bluffing—if they followed through and tried to get custody?

His heart seized in his chest. He could not lose his daughter.

No matter what he had to do, he’d make sure of that.

Deirdre rose from her seat and moved to the window. Her thoughts churned like water tumbling over rocks. Matthew and Phoebe would be leaving tomorrow. This was the last night she’d spend in their company. The last time she would gaze into Matthew’s eyes, or hear Phoebe’s sweet laughter. A shaft of pain pierced her heart.

But even worse than their leaving was the potential threat that Matthew could lose custody of his daughter. Deirdre clasped her hands together to keep them from shaking. How would Phoebe ever cope with being separated from her father? Would she revert back to the frightened, fragile child Deirdre first met in the Toronto hospital?

Deirdre set her jaw. She couldn’t allow that to happen.

“Could you help me to my room now, dear?” Mama’s voice pulled Deirdre’s attention back to the parlor.

She turned to find her mother alone, her father no longer in the room. How long had she been staring out the window? “Of course, Mama.”

Deirdre wheeled her from the parlor and down the front hall to her room. “I’m sorry you’re losing Matthew, Mama. But I promise to continue working with you until you’re completely recovered.” Deirdre flipped on the light and pushed her mother inside. “I’ll set out your nightclothes.”

“Not yet. Come and sit with me a minute.”

Deirdre paid closer attention to her mother. Far from seeming fatigued, Mama seemed filled with purpose.

“I want to talk to you about something.” Mama gestured to the chair beside her bed.

“What is it?”

Mama rolled closer, a steely glint in her eye. “I want to discuss your feelings for Matthew and what you intend to do about them.”

Deirdre’s mouth fell open, shock rendering her speechless.

“Don’t bother to deny it. I know you care for Matthew, and I suspect he feels the same, only he’s too stubborn to do anything about it.”

Despair clawed at Deirdre’s throat. “Mama—”

“Listen, please.” Mama’s stern voice brought back childhood memories of being scolded for some transgression. “I believe God brought Matthew to us for a purpose—one greater than just my therapy. You’ve seen the way Phoebe has blossomed here. She’s a completely different child than the one who arrived mere weeks ago. And you, my darling, are a large reason why.”

Deirdre blinked back sudden tears and dropped her gaze to her lap.

“Matthew has changed as well. Again, mostly due to your influence.”

Deirdre shook her head, vigorously denying the truth of her mother’s words.

Mama reached out to squeeze her hand. “I understand your desire to become a doctor, to heal sick children. But what about this one precious child you could do so much for? Matthew and Phoebe need you in their lives.”

Deirdre sighed. “Even if that were true, Matthew doesn’t want a wife. He’s told me so on more than one occasion. I need to respect that and focus on my career.”

“What about love? And a family?”

The quiet question pierced the shell around Deirdre’s heart. “I don’t think that’s what God intends for me,” she said quietly.

Mama laid a palm against Deirdre’s cheek. “Are you sure? Could it be you’re so determined to follow this path that you haven’t really listened to make sure it’s in accordance with God’s plan?”

Deirdre shook her head. “I don’t know, Mama. I wish I had the answers.”

“What if Matthew changed his mind and proposed to you tonight? What would your answer be?”

Deirdre’s hands fluttered to her throat. Would she really give up her vocation to satisfy her own longings?

“If Matthew were engaged, or better yet married, he’d stand a much better chance in any legal battle that might ensue. Will you at least think about it? Pray about it?”

Deirdre swallowed her doubt and confusion. “I’ll pray, Mama, but I doubt the answer will change.”

Mama gave a serene smile, her eyes seeming lit from within. “That’s all I ask, sweetheart. God will take care of the rest.”

After a nearly sleepless night, Deirdre rose at dawn and quickly washed and dressed. As she’d promised her mother, she’d prayed on and off all night, reading her Bible in between.

And she’d come to a decision, one she hoped Matthew would be open to. But she needed to talk to him—alone—before he left for the train. And the only way she could think of was to seek him out in his room.

Her palms damp, she raised her hand to give three hard raps on his door.

“Who is it?”

“Deirdre. I need to speak to you.”

Her heart hammered in her chest so hard she could barely catch her breath. She prayed for guidance to help her through this conversation.

The door swung open. A frown pulled Matthew’s brows together. Dark shadows gave his face a hollow look. Deirdre wished she could ease his pain and worry. If only he’d let her . . .

“Deirdre. Is something wrong?” He tugged his vest into place, having obviously donned it in haste.

“I’m sorry to bother you so early, but I’ve been up most of the night thinking and . . .” She paused. “May I come in? I don’t wish to be overheard.”

His eyebrows rose to his hairline. “All right, but we leave the door ajar.”

“Fine.”

She entered what had once been her brother Adam’s bedroom, amazed to find it almost identical, save for a new quilt covering the bed.

Matthew turned to her. “So you were saying?”

She clasped her hands together. “The thought that you could lose Phoebe . . . of what that would do to her . . .” She struggled to contain her emotions, determined not to break down in front of Matthew. She needed to state her idea in a calm, logical fashion. “We can’t let that happen.”

Matthew walked to the desk. It appeared he, too, had been reading his Bible. He clutched the back of the chair until his knuckles turned white. “Believe me, I don’t intend to.”

“What are you going to do?”

He faced her. “Once I’m home, I’ll ask Victor’s help to procure a lawyer. I’ll concentrate on my job, hire a new nanny, and do the best I can to provide a good home for my daughter.” He pointed to the Bible. “And pray God sees fit to let me keep her.”

Deirdre advanced toward him. “What if there was something you could do to give you an advantage? Would you be willing to consider it?”

His gaze hardened. “I’d do almost anything if it would help.”

“Even . . .” She hesitated and attempted to control her rapid pulse. Once she verbalized her idea, there’d be no going back.

“Surely you’re not suggesting something illegal?”

“Certainly not. Although kidnapping did cross my mind at one point.” A nervous laugh bubbled up.

“I considered that myself, but only as a last resort.”

She was relieved to see a slight glint of humor in his eyes.

He quickly sobered. “But what is your idea?”

She released a quiet breath. “You may recall my ex-fiancé is a lawyer. Last night, I called him to ask his advice on what you could do to gain the upper hand against your in-laws.” She gripped her hands together. “He was very clear. The best thing you could do is . . . find a wife.”

Matthew went rigid. “Out of the question.”

Expecting that response, she was prepared with a counterproposal. “I agree. Too drastic. But what if we got engaged?”

He stared at her as though she’d sprouted wings and was about to fly around the room. A host of emotions flashed across his features before he clamped his mouth shut. “No.”

She pressed forward, laying her palm on the desktop. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. If we got engaged temporarily, it would convince a judge about the stability of your home life.” She let the words hang in the air.

Matthew closed the distance between them. “Why, Deirdre? Why would you do this?”

The undeniable truth reverberated through her soul. Not only did she love Phoebe, she loved the girl’s impossible father as well. But she was nowhere near brave enough to lay her heart and her emotions bare.

Instead, she straightened, unflinching under his gaze. “Because I love Phoebe, and I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure her happiness.”

Matthew stared into Deirdre’s vibrant green eyes, alight with the passion of their heated conversation, and fought to control tremors of repressed emotion.

How he wished she’d given a different answer.

Because it had become painfully clear to him, after a sleepless night plagued with thoughts of leaving here forever—of leaving her forever—that he cared very deeply for Deirdre.

So much so that his heart nearly ripped from his chest at the idea of saying good-bye.

She moved away from the desk. “We could announce our engagement with the intention of marrying next year. And once matters were settled, we could quietly end the engagement before I apply to another university. That way, we both get what we want and no one gets hurt in the process.”

The lie vibrated between them as surely as a caress. Did she really believe they could both emerge from a fake engagement without their emotions becoming involved? Without hurting Phoebe?

He sighed. “I can’t let Phoebe believe you’re going to be her mother, only to crush her down the road. It wouldn’t be fair.”

The spark drained from Deirdre’s features. “I didn’t think of that.” She gave a sheepish shrug. “There I go again, being too impulsive.”

“You’re trying to help. And I appreciate that more than you know. If only . . .” He clamped his lips together before he blurted out something he shouldn’t, then paced to the window to stare out at the landscape below. His packed bag sat by the bed, ready to leave for the station. His mind raced to come up with a solution.

He turned to face her. “What if you came with me as Phoebe’s nanny—on a temporary basis until the custody issue is settled?”

She stared at him. “How would that help your case?”

“It would prove I have a dedicated, caring woman in my daughter’s life. One whom Phoebe adores.” He took a step toward her. “It would show she’s well taken care of when I’m at work. That she’s a happy, confident little girl. For she would be . . . if you were living with us.”

As the words left his mouth, he saw the error in his thinking. Realized the torture it would be to have Deirdre living under his roof as part of the family, but not really belonging.

The agony in her eyes mirrored his regret. She blinked and moved to the desk to finger the pages of his Bible. After several seconds, she straightened, seeming to regain her poise. “All right, Matthew. I accept your proposition.” A determined light shone in her eyes as she waited for him to respond.

“You’re certain you’re willing to do this?”

“Absolutely.” She didn’t waver for a second.

Relief pulsed through his veins. “Thank you, Deirdre.”

Her lips trembled into a smile. “I won’t let you lose her, Matthew. No matter what it takes.”

She moved toward the door, but he stopped her with a hand to her arm.

“There’s one more thing. We’ll have to make sure Phoebe understands this is a temporary arrangement until I can find a new nanny. I don’t want her getting the idea that you’re staying permanently.”

A flash of sorrow shadowed her eyes, but she nodded. “Agreed.”

His gaze held hers, hoping it was enough to convey his undying gratitude at her generosity.

At last, she stepped away. “I’d best go and pack my things if we want to make the train.”