Alfonso Fastbeak stumbled out into the lobby from the lift, looking exhausted. Ms Fragranti had worked him to the bone.
‘Any luck?’ asked Anna, who was pinning posters to the walls.
‘Sadly not. I still can’t fly, ma’am,’ he said. ‘Though on the bright side, I’m now excellent at ballet.’
He stopped suddenly with a look of horror on his face.
‘Are you all right?’ asked Anna.
He slowly raised his leg into the air and brown sludge dripped from his foot. ‘How hard is it to use the facilities?!’
‘What’s that?’ asked Anna.
‘I’m no expert, miss, but it looks like a cowpat,’ said Alfonso.
Anna knelt down and sniffed the circular brown mound.
‘It smells like it too,’ she said. ‘I’ll get you a cloth.’
Alfonso attempted to flick the poo from his foot.
‘I’ve landed in worse,’ he said. ‘It just came as a surprise, that’s all.’
At that point the Horntops entered the lobby, chatting happily about food.
‘Norman, wasn’t that buffalo grass a delight?’ said Mrs Horntop.
‘Aye. It was delicious!’ said Norman.
The Horntops were the only two cows in the hotel, and Anna realised she’d have to confront them. But how do you confront someone about the fact they’d left a cowpat on the floor? she wondered. Direct and to the point, she decided.
‘Ah,’ said Anna, ‘Mrs Horntop, might I have a word?’
‘The lunch was wonderful,’ said Mrs Horntop, smiling. ‘As good as we’d hoped! And we’re now heading up to the Barnyard Deli for a grass platter. Isn’t that right, Norman?’
‘Aye, that’s right, Petal,’ said Norman.
‘I’m pleased you’re enjoying yourself,’ said Anna. ‘However, we have a slight issue.’
‘Go on,’ said Mrs Horntop.
‘There’s a cowpat on the floor,’ said Anna, direct and to the point.
‘Hang my hairy horns,’ said Mrs Horntop. ‘So there is! Who would have done such a thing? Norman, have you seen that mess on the floor over there? Awful, isn’t it?’
‘Aye,’ he replied. ‘Terrible. Some cows have no manners.’
‘No manners at all,’ said Mrs Horntop. ‘Now, we must get going so we don’t miss our reservation.’
‘Aye, that’s right, Petal,’ said Norman, checking his watch. ‘That grass has to be freshly cut, or it loses its colour.’
‘So it wasn’t one of you?’ asked Anna.
Mrs Horntop flushed red with embarrassment. ‘Us?’ she said. ‘Never. My Norman is very well trained. As am I.’
‘Aye, Petal, that’s right,’ he replied. ‘Come on, love.’
Anna was left stunned.
‘I bet it’s all that grass they eat,’ said Alfonso, shaking his head. ‘They just don’t have any control.’
