This is perhaps the most difficult section of the book to write, as there is a half-century full of people to thank for the experiences that went into its creation.
First, my mentors: Brian Strom, MD, MPH, who taught me in medical school how to think critically and how to conduct clinical research; Stephanie Lee, MD, MPH, who honed these skills during my fellowship and clued me in on the right questions to ask; Richard Stone, MD, who patiently (so patiently) took my skull full of mush and filled it with knowledge of how to treat people with leukemia, and to do so with dignity, humanity, and even humor; Ilene Galinsky, MSN, ANP, and Barbara Tripp, RN, CNS, who did the same, and still do the same; and Brian Bolwell, MD, and Matt Kalaycio, MD, who continue to lead by example with caring and empathy.
Next, my friends: Doug Neu, Noam Neusner, and Shoshana Landow, MD, MPH, my oldest and dearest, who have been steadfastly supportive for decades; David Steensma, MD, Timothy Gilligan, MD, Hetty Carraway, MD, MBA, Nate Pennell, MD, Alison Loren, MD, and Jay Baruch, MD, my mid-life friends, colleagues, writing buddies, and the people I turn to when my writing and research insecurities rear their ugly heads; Karl Theil, MD, for the images and, you know, for everything; and Jaroslaw Maciejewski, MD, PhD, my brilliant, closest research collaborator.
I am grateful to Caroline and Aaron Gerds, MD, MS, and Madeline Waldron, PharmD, who read versions of this manuscript and gave me such careful feedback, and helped ensure the accuracy of the stories and medical facts.
Toby Bilanow and Roberta Zeff, my editors at the New York Times, have been for years so encouraging, and so exquisitely skilled at transforming my essays into readable stories—their gentle guidance has been a gift.
My indefatigable agent, John Thornton of The Spieler Agency, believed in me from the moment he read a sample of this book in its first draft, and talked me off the ledge of despair more times than I care to admit! By offering his calm guidance and wise perspective, I believe he has qualified for an honorary degree in psychology.
Robert Prior, my editor at the MIT Press, also believed in me from the very beginning. His ability to mold text into something understandable, with great insight, has been extraordinary. What a pleasure to work so closely with someone like Bob. I am also grateful to Mary Bagg for her skilled copyediting, which put so many sentences back on the rails.
My wife, Jennifer, and my kids, were infinitely patient on car and plane trips while I remained undistracted and “in the moment” as I wrote this book, sometimes to their despair! You are my world, the loves of my life. And I don’t care if that sounds cringey.
And finally, all of my patients, hundreds and hundreds of you, have taught me how to live a life, and to do so with such grace.