Jason plucked random notes on Rusty’s strings while he stared at the few hearty kayakers and rowers willing to take on the frigid waters of Lake Union. His brother plopped down across from him with a cup of coffee in his hand.
“You could have offered me one,” Jason groused, putting Rusty aside.
Nick looked at him over the rim of his cup. “Why are you here drinking all of my coffee? Why aren’t you at Joy’s drinking hers?”
“She’s at work, so I thought I’d come bug my little brother for a while.”
“How are things with you and Joy? It must be awkward practically moving in after the first date.”
Jason wasn’t going to share that he’d propositioned Joy the night before. He didn’t make moves like that. What had he been thinking, asking Joy to invite him into her bed? He knew exactly what he’d been thinking or, rather, who had been doing the thinking for him. As punishment, he’d spent most of the night trying to fall asleep with a hard-on, kicking himself for losing control of his emotions so quickly.
“We’re okay. Joy is easy to be around.” He shrugged.
“That’s how it felt with Holly.” Nick’s face lit up the way it did every time he talked about his girlfriend.
“This isn’t quite the same,” Jason deadpanned. “But I’m happy for the two of you. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you so”—he searched for the right word—“content before.”
“I am. I never would have believed I would find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with when I was traded to Seattle.”
Jason’s eyebrow lifted. “Does that mean there might be a real engagement happening soon?”
Nick nodded with a huge grin.
“Do you worry about leaving Holly behind when you’re on the road? What if something happens and you’re not here for her?”
Nick’s smile fell, and his expression morphed into one of concern. “I know you feel you let Mary down, Jason, but Mary’s death didn’t happen because you were on the road.”
“I know that,” Jason said with a heavy sigh. “Part of me knows that. But I… I can’t ask anyone to put up with my lifestyle, to make that sacrifice again.”
Nick pressed his lips together, studying Jason for a minute. “It’s not a sacrifice when you care about your partner’s happiness. I know Mary never felt that way. She was proud of what you were doing, and the fact that you encouraged her in her own career made her really happy. We talked about it once when I came to visit in Nashville. You were working late at the studio that night, and I hung out with Mary after her set at the Bluebird Cafe.”
Jason’s chest became tight. “She told you that?”
“She did.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t believe what his brother was saying. It should have lessened the guilt he’d learned to live with, but it didn’t, not completely.
“Thank you for telling me, but that doesn’t change how I feel.” Jason shook his head. “I’m still not ready to ask someone to put up with my long stretches on the road.”
Jason looked away from the disapproval he saw in Nick’s eyes. His brother had never suffered a loss the way he had. Nick couldn’t understand. It had been almost three years since the accident, and he still wondered what he could have done differently. Mary deserved more than what he gave. If she had lived, their marriage wouldn’t have lasted. The physical attraction they shared wasn’t enough to overcome their other differences. They both came from Southern families, but Jason’s upbringing was much more liberal than Mary’s. He was always curious to try new things while his chosen partner wouldn’t give the local Indian restaurant a try. Some issues, they might have overcome in time, but they both had to be willing to change, and they were too young and stubborn. What Nick didn’t know is that they both admitted to each other right before she died that they got married too soon. Yes, the attraction was there, but the other elements that made for a lasting marriage were missing. Attraction didn’t equal passion or compatibility. He thought about how he felt dancing with Joy and the banter they shared on the dance floor. Yes, there was attraction, but with Joy, it was different. There was something deeper developing between them even though they’d only spent a short time together.
“Do you want to tell me what brought that smile to your face?” Nick asked with a smirk.
Jason ducked his head. “Nope.”
Nick glanced at his smart watch. “I’ve got to get ready for practice. Let’s talk more when I get home.”
Alone again on Nick’s balcony, he picked up Rusty, but didn’t strike a note. His fingers rested on the strings while he tried to figure out how to get control of his feelings. His phone vibrated, the caller ID showing the familiar face of his manager.
“What’s up?” Jason asked warily.
“Nothing to worry about.” Paul chuckled. “You don’t have to answer sounding like I’m the IRS.”
Jason laughed.
“I wanted to let you know your outing at The Little Red Hen was a success. The buzz on social media is great. They’re calling you J2. I guess it’s supposed to be a combination of Jason and Joy.”
He groaned, rolling his eyes. This whole thing was spiraling out of his control.
“What’s wrong with that?”
“One that sounds ridiculous and two, I don’t want to build this up too much. People are going to be disappointed when we end the engagement, and I don’t want there to be any blowback on Joy. When the time comes, all the blame needs to fall on me.”
“You’ve made it clear, Jason. Trust me, I’ve got everything taken care of on my end.”
“What about Madison?”
The pause on the other end of the line wasn’t a good sign.
“She’s playing the jilted girlfriend to the hilt.”
“We never dated!” Jason shouted loud enough that Nick popped his head over the stair rail above, looking worried. Jason gave his brother a reassuring wave. “I’m tired of her bullshit. I’ve had all I can take with her lies and manipulation. It’s fine if she wants to go after me but dragging Joy into this—” Jason clamped his mouth shut trying to control the anger surging through him.
“Look, I get it. She’s got a few people on social media riled up and they’re doing their best to make her look like an angel while framing Joy as the one who came between you.”
Jason muttered a string of expletives.
“It’s a small number, but it’s enough that it’s making the record label nervous. The thing is, our PR firm thinks there’s something funny about the tweets. They’re taking another look at the… aw hell, what did they call it? Analytics?”
“What do you mean something’s funny with the tweets?”
“I’m not exactly sure, but I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.”
“I’m not going back on the road with her. I don’t care if she makes herself look like Mother Teresa.”
“I’ve told the label that. She’s got some execs believing that the two of you will reconcile. You know how those bastards are. They’re seeing dollar signs, and they don’t want to cancel until they’re absolutely sure. They’re practically drooling over the idea of billing the rest of the shows as some kind of reunion tour.”
Jason’s jaw clenched. “I think we should set up a meeting with my lawyer and look at what my options are for getting out of my contract.”
“You sure you want to take it this far?”
“I do. Madison crossed a line.”
There was another brief pause before Paul sighed. “I’ll set it up. I think you’re right. I’ll do what I can to keep this from becoming messier than it already is.”
Guilt churned in his gut. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate everything you’re doing. I do, and I wish I’d never gotten us into this mess.”
“This isn’t your fault. Madison made this mess. Don’t worry, we’re going to get everything straightened out. I’ll text you when I have a time for us to talk with your lawyer.”
“Thanks. And when this is all over, make sure you give yourself a bonus.”
Paul barked a hearty laugh. “Don’t think I haven’t ordered myself a case of fine Tennessee whiskey.”
Jason smiled. “Make it two.”
“It’s going to be okay. Hang in there. We’ll get everything sorted out.”
Jason hung up with Paul and stared at his phone, his gut twisting in nervous knots. His phone rang again with his mother’s smiling face appearing on the caller ID.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, sweetheart. We’re almost packed and ready to head your way. We’re so excited to see you and, honey, we are all so excited to meet Joy. I need to know what her favorite foods are so I can make something special for her. Are there any Thanksgiving traditions that she has that we should incorporate into our celebration?”
Rebecca Anderson was one of the most loving and generous people on the planet. It was her greatest strength, and sometimes her overexuberance created awkward situations for her children.
“Look, Mom, let’s not overwhelm her, okay?”
“What do you mean overwhelm her? I would never do that.”
Jason bit back a smile. She overwhelmed everyone—friend, girlfriend, or boyfriend—who walked into the Anderson home with motherly love.
“Joy is an only child. It’s just her and her two dads. She’s not used to a family like ours,” he tried to explain.
“That makes it even more important for us to be with you for Thanksgiving. When I asked what Joy was doing for the holidays, Nick mentioned she wasn’t going to be with her family. Poor dear.” His mom tutted.
“Mom, I know you want to make Joy feel welcome, but you’re overdoing it.”
He was using his stern voice, one he rarely used with his mother. The silence on the other end of the line showed she was trying to decide how much further she should push.
“Let me know if you find out something special I can make,” his mother finally said.
“I’ll let you know. See you soon.”
“We can’t wait.”
The last thing he wanted to do was drag Joy any further into their charade by mixing his family into the mess. But he couldn’t help picturing Joy hanging out with everyone at the Thanksgiving table and how right she looked there in his mind’s eye.
He’d messed up last night, and she’d left for work before he had a chance to apologize to her this morning. Joy was so worried about keeping up her end of their bargain, but he was the one letting them down.
As soon as he’d kissed her again, Jason knew he was in trouble. Between the dancing and the kiss, he was strung tighter than a guitar string, ready to snap the minute someone touched him. And all he could think about was wanting Joy to be that someone.
He picked up his guitar and let Rusty take away his troubles for a while. It turned out to be one of the most productive writing sessions he’d had in a long time. Memories of dancing with Joy turned into a new song with a beat that dipped and swayed, echoing their dance. Jason played the song through a couple of times, fiddling with the lyrics, trying to recapture the feeling of want and need without turning the song into something morose instead of upbeat. Eventually he gave up and set Rusty and his notebook aside. He stood up and went to the balcony railing, watching the few boats dotting the lake while he fiddled with his phone, turning it over and over in his pocket.
“What are you waiting for? You know you want to call her,” he said to himself.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he sent Joy a text.
I shouldn’t have propositioned you last night. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of you or the situation. Forgive me?
Jason sucked in his breath and hit send. He watched the three dots appear and then disappear before they appeared again. He gripped his phone so tight, his fingers were turning white while he stared at the three dots.
When the message appeared, he let the breath he’d been holding come out in a whoosh.
There’s nothing to forgive. We were both caught up in the moment. Isn’t there a quote that says something like when you’re doing it right, dancing is supposed to feel like foreplay?
Jason grinned, typing back.
I’ve never heard that before, so you’re officially the author of that quote. It’s a good one, by the way. Thanks for understanding.
The dots appeared and reappeared again.
We’re human. But… maybe we shouldn’t go dancing again for a while.
He laughed at the wink emoji with the tongue sticking out Joy added at the end and typed back.
I’ll cancel the ballroom dancing date I’d planned.
Joy responded with a string of laughing emojis, stripping away the last of Jason’s worry. He’d be a perfect gentleman on their next date.