Once you have disappeared and finally arrived at your new destination, you will need to sort out a new life for yourself. You must live the lie you created, and play the part as if it were real. But no matter how happy you are and how good your new life is, you will need to keep an eye on the past. Watch for signs of anyone trying to find you and be ready if they do.
You should have already selected the type of life you wish to lead; this will very much depend on your own character and your financial reserves. Even though you may have visited your new destination country several times before, actually living there can be far different. For starters, you cannot simply live your life in a hotel, though you will more than likely initially book into one for a few weeks. You will need to find a home; a place that is safe and where you will not be discovered should people come looking for you. If your finances are limited you may also need to look for work. Again, if this is the case you should already have done your homework and know what is available to you, and what type of employment will help protect your identity.
Like most humans, we all need friendship, a partner, and a few home comforts. Once again, when choosing new friends, you will have to be careful, as friends ask questions about your background. If you are female, a new life can be difficult to establish, and you will need to be even more careful about selecting your friends. Nevertheless, the comfort of a local partner (I use the word partner here to represent a male or female sexual relationship) has many advantages: they will help provide cover, accommodation, and getting to know the dos and don’ts of the local society. Most of all, they will give you some warmth and comfort, which you are going to need as there will come a time when you will miss your family and friends back home.
While some of us can survive alone for a length of time, most of us will eventually seek out a partner. The benefits of having a partner in a new country far outweigh not having one. The chance of compromise is very slim, especially if your cover story is watertight. Now the first problem you will have is your sex, age, looks, and sexual orientations. There are plenty of variations, so forgive me if I don’t cover the whole spectrum, but instead write as if the person involved is a thirty-five-year-old heterosexual male. For everyone else, you will just have to work it out for yourselves.
A normal male of around thirty-five years old who is averagely fit should have no problems finding a good, honest companion who has their own home and car. Now I have traveled this whole planet and still do, and I know most people often come face–to–face with someone of the opposite sex to whom they become instantly attracted. Sometimes it’s the smile, a look that lasts a little longer than normal, or the tactile hand that touches yours. The point I am trying to make is that it’s fairly easy to form a relationship, especially if both people are attracted to each other.
Living and working with people from a poor area is not as bad as it sounds. The locals are mainly friendly and you will be fed, but don’t expect any wages for working.
In my own experiences, most of the people I know who have gone to live in another country are single men, and those that survived best are the ones who got involved with a local girl. Providing she is willing, not already married, or with a jealous boyfriend, it is a fairly good path to take. You will learn the language quicker, be taught the various customs, and understand the culture of the local society. To some degree, you will also be getting a small amount of protection in the way of an early warning should you step out of line in the eyes of the locals. A girlfriend can smooth things over and explain to you what you did wrong. Friendship within the local community is a vital part of fitting in and building your identity protection.
While this might seem to be an odd subject to put in a book on how to disappear, it is, in my opinion, a vital part of your disguise and normality. Meeting someone new in a strange country is not as difficult as it might seem. True, there are some countries where society does not allow women the social freedom we are used to in the West and others where many marriages are arranged. Nonetheless, there are also many countries—including, interestingly some where the main religion is Islam or Hindu—where dating websites are operating with vigor.
The only thing you need to remember is that you will be making your image and profile available to the world. Make sure that, even if someone in your old country should stumble across the dating website and see an image of you, they do not recognize you. However, be warned: a skip tracer who has gotten wind that you may have gone to Brazil will in all likelihood be checking out the dating websites to try and find you.
Dating websites have got to be the simplest way of finding a new partner in the country you intend to settle in once you have disappeared. Selecting a dating website in that country should be part of your disappearance plan. If you are properly organized, you may have already started on a particular website and found a partner who is waiting for you to arrive. The great thing about dating websites is that you get to see a picture and some background information on the person. By selecting a list, you can identify those who may have their own home, are employed, have children, and those who are divorced, etc. While this might seem trivial, believe me, when you arrive at your country of destination and you are met at the airport by a beautiful woman who has her own home and car, your new life will get off to a much better start. Don’t forget, most dating sites accommodate just about every sexual orientation.
There are, for the person who wants to disappear, a few basic rules that govern the type of partner you might wish to meet and settle with. Your first relationship may not last more than a few months, but at least you will be settled by then. As for choosing someone, we are all different but here is my own list, should I ever try to disappear.
• Age: Always choose someone of around thirty-five to forty, or within five years of your own age; slightly older partners will generally treat you better. Many younger women will go for older men for this very reason.
• Looks: Looks are not everything, the inner person is more important.
• Working: If a person is working, they will not be a drain on your resources. You should not take advantage of their earnings.
• Children: If a partner has children, this could add unnecessary difficulties (I personally love children), but remember this is cover for your disappearance.
• Own Home: This is a real bonus, as it will generally mean you will have somewhere to stay when you arrive. If you do move in, you will increase your chances of staying if you offer to pay some rent, which is still a lot cheaper than living in a hotel.
• Own Car: Again, a bonus, as it means you can get from place to place and learn your way around.
• Also Check: Health? Hobbies? Things in common? Drinking or smoking habits?
There are lots of beautiful people living in Brazil, many of whom can be found on dating websites.
Marcia Maria
| Age | 37 |
| Marital Status | Single |
| Occupation | Admin/office worker |
| Children | 1 |
| Height | 5 ft 2 in (158 cm) |
| Weight | 115 lb (52 kg) |
| Hair Color | Dark brown |
| Eye Color | Brown |
| Religion | Catholic |
| Star Sign | Virgo |
| Smoking | Never |
| Drinking | Never |
| Languages Spoken | English, Portuguese, Basic Spanish |
| Nationality | Brazil |
| Residence | Brazil |
| City/Region | Brasilia Distrito Federal |
| Likes | cinema, beach, swimming, reading, restaurant, church |
| Wants | Marriage |
| Partner Sought: | honest, romantic, sincere, loving, generous, aged 35-58 |
Once you have arrived and settled into a good budget hotel (not too sleazy, as you might need to impress your partner), your first task will be to take a tour of the area. Get a map, walk around, take the local transportation, and get to know the place—relax and enjoy yourself. The one thing you will need to avoid is going to expat communities; if you’re an American, stay away from the American expat community as a matter of security. However, if you do hear someone speaking your language and they are obviously not from your country of origin (example: an American hearing a Dutchman speaking English), then you might try and open a conversation. The benefit of someone who has lived (and possibly worked) in the country for several years is invaluable. Over a few beers, they may happily tell you their brief life story, places to go and not go, and the good and bad points about the country.
Once you have gotten to know the place a little, you should try looking for a partner or a job. Believe it or not, there are many foreign countries that welcome the benefits of, for example, an engineer from overseas. The pay might not be great, but it’s a start and should provide enough income to live on. Getting a job will really depend on what your skills are and what skills are needed.
Author’s Note: I do consultancy work for a military company, and some time ago they employed a young and very talented graphic artist. One day out of the blue, he resigned and went to live in Indonesia. For the first few weeks he trawled the bar and expat haunts, but one night he got talking to a guy who put him in touch with a local firm that immediately gave him a job as a graphic designer. I met him on one of my visits to Jakarta; he was happy with his new life and in a relationship with a secretary from the firm.
Supermarket meeting has to be tried just to show how simple it is.
I mention supermarket or store chat ups because it has worked for me for more years than I can remember. When I was younger, my favorite way of getting a girl when I was overseas was to start a conversation in a supermarket. I once went to purchase some underpants in Singapore and ended up dating the store assistant. Another time in the same city, I had several dates with a female taxi driver; both women were extremely pleasant, and if I had stayed longer, the relationship with either could have blossomed.
Many people think that Asia is just full of bars where foreigners go for sex; this could not be further from the truth. Most Asian countries have a booming economy, a decent standard of living, and a social life that, in many cases, is far better than what we currently enjoy. The hotels are some of the best in the world, and their supermarkets and stores are a match for any of those in the West.
Do you know why a supermarket is one of the best places to meet women? It makes no difference if it’s your local convenience store or a major supermarket. Women are usually at ease in a supermarket and don’t have their guard up like they do in a nightclub or other regular pickup spot. You will be amazed at just how easy it is to pick up women in a supermarket, and and not just in Asia. It works equally as well in Britain and America. In addition to people shopping, many of the check out people are single mothers or divorced. The secret is to look clean and fresh and smell nice. Dress casually and smile—look as if you own the world. If you go in at around 6:00 p.m., you could try dressing in a suit and tie as if you were returning from a day in the office. This gives the impression that you are employed and financially sound, which is a big attraction for some. There are several ways to start a conversation; bumping into their cart is the easiest. Apologize and then ask if they know where you can find the wine department or the meat counter.
Don’t be too disappointed if your first effort fails miserably; have several goes and you will get lucky. When you do manage to get a reply, smile and say something like “Have I seen you in here before?” If that works, tell them your name and keep it going. While you are doing this look casually in their trolley, as this will tell you a lot about their status, i.e. meals for one are a dead give away while large boxes of washing detergent may indicate she is married with children.
Author’s Note: A British man known as “Fast Eddie” worked for a money collection service in the UK called Securicor. One day he decided to remove the contents of his collection and make off into the sunset. He actually finished up in America, taking the bulk of the £1.2 million with him. This happened in 1993 when Eddie was driving a security pick-up van for the company. His colleague had just retrieved the money from Lloyds Bank in Hamilton Road, Felixstowe, and upon exiting the bank, placed it in the hatch. As he finished doing so, Eddie just drove off. The van was later found abandoned down at the seafront, with Eddie and the money nowhere to be found.
While chatting up another shopper in the store requires you to start a conversation, sales personnel and check-out staff are required to talk to you.
It looked like Eddie had planned the perfect robbery, as he covered his tracks well after his disappearance. He switched cars twice in quick succession, knowing the security van would be tracked and its location quickly found. He was soon on a flight to Boston, where his common law wife, Deborah Brett, was waiting for him, along with their three-year-old son, Lee. Despite a £100,000 reward being offered, Eddie disappeared without a trace, having executed the perfect crime.
For several years they kept on the move, going from state to state and eventually ending up in Ozark, Missouri. They used a wide variety of aliases and always rented their home, usually in a modest neighborhood where they adopted the lifestyle of a normal, hard-working American family. Eddie, who was adept with electronics, took to working as a cable technician, while Deborah played the happy housewife. All went well for almost twenty years, until Eddie’s son started to boast about his father’s secret life. Lee had grown up with the knowledge of what his father had done and how they came to be in America. He had boasted to several of his girlfriends; one in particular, Jessica, whom he had gotten pregnant, married, and then left, knew the whole story.
“Fast Eddie” robbed his own security van in the UK and made it successfully to America. Almost twenty years later, he was caught because he did not keep his mouth shut.
It took some persuading to convince the local police that the story she was telling was true and not just some revenge on the husband who had deserted her. Eventually, they contacted the FBI, who in turn contacted Suffolk Police in the UK. Despite the change of facial features over the past nineteen years, there was a resemblance and eventually Eddie was arrested by the FBI.
The moral here is to never tell anyone—even your children—what you have done in the past. Eddie had disappeared with a clean getaway (although he would forever be looking over his shoulder). He had managed to get himself an American Social Security number and employment, but in the end, boasting had given him away. He finished up in court and was sentenced to five years in prison.
Unless you are one of the privileged few with a lot of money, the chances are that, like the majority of us, you will have to work. This rule will still apply once you have disappeared. Looking for work in a foreign country is not as difficult as one might think, but you will need to check the rules for the individual country in which you seek to disappear. Most countries welcome skilled and professional labor, but it is also quite easy to find general work on a temporary work permit. It is also possible to work without any permits, but I would advise against it. Many people just enter the country and find work with only a visitor visa, but in many cases this is illegal and you are open to exploitation.
It’s up to the individual to check with the country of final destination, but there are many routes for employment open. I believe that if you are a citizen of a country that is part of the Commonwealth (that includes Canada, the UK, South Africa, Australia, and New Zealand) and you are under twenty-five years old, then you are eligible for a visa that will allow you to travel and work in the other Commonwealth countries. This may have changed or now have restrictions, so I suggest you check with your local embassy or consulate.
Switzerland, for example, has a high migration rate—foreigners make up more than a fifth of the Swiss population. The country is divided into twenty-six cantons (regions), and each is responsible for registering foreign workers. Although all cantons operate under the same federal law, each canton has some autonomy over immigration into the region. Anyone who works during their stay in Switzerland, or who remains in Switzerland for longer than three months, requires a residence permit issued by the Cantonal Migration Offices. There are short-term residence permits (less than one year), annual residence permits (limited), and permanent resident permits (unlimited) available.
Obtaining a work permit differs according to your place of origin. Switzerland has a dual system for the admission of foreign workers, with priority given to individuals from EU/EFTA countries. For employed nationals from EU/EFTA states, the Agreement on the Free Movement of Persons applies, leading to a straightforward permit process that is not subject to quotas. So if you’re a member of the European Community, you can easily get a job.
The sort of work you look for will again depend on your own personal skills; people with a profession or trade will always find lots of opportunities. These who are unskilled can always find less attractive but enjoyable work if they look in the right place. Here are a few possibilities.
Construction work is generally hard, but the pay is much better than, say, a bartender. The world has lots of places where construction jobs abound. While Europe is currently suffering from the results of overconstruction, the Middle and Far East are booming.
Working on a cruise ship is a great life, but you will need skills and it is best if you are young.
Bartending and hotel work can be fun and very rewarding. If you plan to do this type of work overseas, then you are going to have to speak the local language. My advice is to find a good bar or a known hotel chain.
This is an easy one. Get yourself on a TEFL course and teach your language to others. Likewise, if you already have knowledge of foreign languages, see if you can use it to your best advantage. Did you know that the American military paid interpreters about $800 per day to go out with US troops and act as interpreters in Afghanistan?
If you excel at a particular sport, you might try using this skill to find employment. There are many places where sports skills can find you work, e.g. a ski instructor in Switzerland, aerobics instructor on board a cruise ship, or athletics coach in a foreign school.
If you are not very good at anything, you can always find casual work caring for others, cleaning houses, or waiting tables in a restaurant.
Living in a new culture can be exciting, challenging, frustrating, and sometimes downright frightening. It is one thing to visit a country while on holiday and quite another to actually live there. Vacationers see the better side of life, live in smart hotels, and lay around on the beach. If you live in a country, you will have to work (unless you have sufficient funds) and live in normal accommodations. By normal, I mean housing similar to what the local people have. Now this can differ from place to place; it might be a small apartment in a very crowded suburb of Bangkok, or it could be a simple homemade log cabin in the jungles of South America. In either case, you will need to know in advance what type of living accommodation you will be in for once you reach your destination. Before departure, learn about the country’s history, social customs, any unwritten rules, the current political structure, and above all, its main religion. Read up on the country’s present day problems and current national issues.
You will need to know how to blend in with the neighbors, if you have any: shop as they shop, clean as they clean, and work as they work. Above all, you will need to fit into their society, adapt to their behavior, and become accustomed to their ways, habits, and culture.
You do not have to do this all at once; you can do it step by step. However, I would suggest that, while it is a good idea to make friends, it is not a good idea to get too involved too soon with the locals. That will come in due course—let them get used to you just as you get used to them.
Unless you are a well-traveled and seasoned adventurer, there is the possibility that you will become prone to culture shock. It is not uncommon in some poorer countries for children and adults alike to defecate and urinate in the open, although in my personal experience, most people do try to do their ablutions in private. Dogs may roam free and scavenge the trash, motorbikes and scooters might keep you awake at night, and then there are all the nasty creepy crawlies. For some who have never had to put up with such dreads, it can all come as bit of a culture shock.
The answer is not to give in and to follow the locals in everything they do. Make sure your personal accommodation is safe and free of any bugs, rats, or cats, and make provisions to keep them out. Check your bed every night so you can have a safe night’s sleep, and wear ear defenders if the noise is too loud. Locate the best place to wash and do your ablutions; if you are shy, have some toilet provision within your own living space. The same goes for cooking. While I love eating street food, if you find it not to your liking, make plans to cook for yourself.
Living in a new country requires understanding. There is no point in saying, “In America we do it this way, which is better.” Each country has its own ways—live with it.
At the end of the day, if the area you are living in becomes too much, simply move. It might take several moves before you find a place that suits your needs, though, so be patient. Take into account that when you first arrive in a new country it is exciting, but this will wear off and you may get a little depressed or frustrated. One of the first things you will start to do is compare the way of life in your new country to that of the one you left behind. North Americans and Europeans live a good life in contrast to many places in the world, but once again, in my experience, most people—no matter how poor—have respect, are clean, and obey the law.
True, there are some places that are downright dangerous, and the people—mainly the male population—are extremely aggressive. If you did your homework and stuck to your disappearance plan, this should not affect you, as you will have chosen to live among good people. You will simply need to give your new life time and gradually adjust to your new environment. It might take time, but you will eventually become familiar with the new culture, and the locals will treat you as one of their own. Your dress and attitude will moderate, and the foreigner in you will lessen.
Author’s Note: Take time to think about your old habits. If someone comes looking for you and you maintain your old habits, they will quickly pick you out from the rest of the locals. So be careful of reading an American magazine or newspaper, smoking US cigarettes, ordering US labeled beer, and so on. As previously mentioned, learn the local language, read the local papers, drink the local beer, and smoke the local cigarettes.
Once you have completed your disappearing act, there is no going back unless you give up. Stay the course, find yourself a good safe niche within the local community, adjust, and make it enjoyable. Remember, when visiting and mingling with foreign cultures, keep in mind these tips, which may help ease you into cultural adjustment:
• Do your homework before you leave; check out the dos and don ’ts of the country to which you intend to go.
• Be humble, greet and talk to local people, and be friendly.
• Listen and observe, learn the local ways quickly.
• Never discuss religion and never convert unless you genuinely want to.
• Do not expect to find things the same as back home, and do not harp on about the differences or how good the system is that you have just left.
• Keep an open mind and enjoy all the new experiences.
• Be a good ambassador for your country and your race.
• Remember, no matter how good the people, there will always be one who dislikes you.
• Remember you are a guest in their country; treat your hosts—rich or poor—with respect.
• No one is inferior, cultures and people are just different.
• Never make a promise you will not keep.
Once you have disappeared, stick to your original plan or the past will catch up with you. Stick to your cover story and be the person people perceive you to be. If you have moved overseas and have legally found employment, work within the laws of that country.
No one likes to be alone, so once you are settled, see if you can find yourself a partner. This will help you integrate with your new country in many ways. It will also add to your protection should people come looking for you.
If you do decide to simply walk away from your troubles and become a hobo, take my advice and do a little preparation; it’s easy to degenerate into a real tramp. Keeping yourself clean and tidy will always help your case; people will look favorably on you and offer you work, or provide you with a meal and a bed.