Bec was sitting at the kitchen table reading the local paper. The house was quiet as her parents had gone to Bendigo for one of Jack’s doctor’s appointments. It was a fight to get him to go because basically he’d given up – both she and her mum knew that. He kept saying that he was in a wheelchair for good and no amount of medical intervention was going to change that now. There was no way that her mum was going to let him not go. She badgered, cajoled, poked and prodded until he gave in because he’d get no peace until he did. Maggie Duprey was a formidable woman, that was for sure. And when her mum put her mind to something, no one got the better of her, including her husband.
Bec had spent the morning moving the flock down from the high paddock to the sheep pens in the east paddock near the shearing sheds. The rest of the day was going to be more of the same, as she intended to start line backing the whole lot of them with drench the next day. Once that group of sheep was done, she’d start on the mob from the western paddock. It was hard work and Bec was glad to take a break. She’d sent the farmhands off for lunch and they were all going to meet back at the sheep pens at one o’clock. Which meant she had enough time to grab a coffee and a sandwich and skim through the local rag, The Golden Nugget. The newspaper incorporated not just White Gum Creek but the other small towns in the area as well. Its name was a nod to the old goldfields on which many of the towns sat. As she looked through the different articles, adverts and sports scores, a listing for a farm closure caught her eye. A small farm out the other side of Violet Falls was being sold along with all the farm equipment – including a small tractor. There was a contact phone number at the bottom. Bec tore the ad out of the paper. It would be worth her time to see if the tractor was any good, she thought.
Bec had access to the farm accounts, both the records and the bank account. And even though she could use the account, she always had to clear the big purchases with her dad. For years this arrangement hadn’t annoyed her because it was just the way things were – and it had never caused problems, because they had never before clashed over the big decisions the way they had over the blasted tractor.
For all their sakes, Bec knew that sometime soon things would have to change; she just hoped her father would come to see that, too. She didn’t want to challenge or aggravate him, but the truth was that if she didn’t assert herself soon, she knew she’d be lost. Perhaps that sounded dramatic, but it was what it felt like. If she didn’t take back her power then she would forever be Jack Duprey’s farmhand. She needed to feel that her opinion mattered, that she mattered, and at the moment it didn’t feel that way at all.
Bec tapped her finger on the advert, thinking. Then she made a decision.
***
‘So what do you reckon, Pearl? Is it alright or have we wasted a trip?’ Bec asked the woman next to her. Pearl Lancaster was somewhere in her sixties but she’d never tell anyone just how far. She had grown up in White Gum Creek, and what she didn’t know about tractors wasn’t worth knowing. Pearl shook her head and her teal-coloured hair swung against her shoulders. She had told Bec on more than one occasion that if she was going to dye her hair she wasn’t going to pretend she didn’t. Pearl was partial to bright, happy colours, which was why for the last fifteen years her hair had been through the entire spectrum of the rainbow.
‘No, we haven’t wasted a trip. It looks to me that this tractor is in pretty good nick. I’ve started her up and had a peek inside and she looks great. It’s a decent buy.’
‘Okay,’ Bec said slowly as she pondered her next move. ‘Okay then.’
‘I was talking to the owners a few minutes ago. They have to sell up rather than want to. It’s a shame, apparently they’ve been here quite a while.’
‘That’s a pity. Are the new owners going to farm the land?’
‘Nah, the new owner has no intention of farming or running sheep. He’s a developer of some sort. Because this farm is so close to the town there’s talk about it being divided up and sold off bit by bit or turned into an estate.’
‘That’s kind of a shame.’
‘Yes, it is. But when you’ve got this much land near a thriving town – well, it’s going to happen. You know that Violet Falls is a much bigger concern than White Gum Creek. More shops, more amenities, and basically just more people. Besides, the owner was just telling me it got a write-up in one of the big newspapers recently – Violet Falls is apparently the best kept secret in the state.’
Bec glanced at the man standing over by the paddock fence. He had a weather-worn face and silver hair. He was silent as he stared across what once had been his. There was an air of despair and despondency about him and it tugged at Bec’s heart. She could only imagine what it would be like to lose Bluestone Ridge; it would almost kill her, and it would certainly bury her father. Generations of hopes and dreams gone in an instant. How did people come back from that? How was it possible to live with the guilt of being the one who has lost the family’s land? Bec swallowed hard and blinked away the mist which was gathering in her eyes.
Pearl nudged her arm. ‘Hey, are you alright?’
Bec gave her an embarrassed sort of smile. ‘Yeah. So . . . you think I should get the tractor?’
‘Absolutely, although you might have some trouble with your father. Are you prepared for that?’
‘I know, but we need a new tractor and, well, Dad is just going to have to come to terms with the fact that I’m just as much a part of Bluestone Ridge as he is.’
Pearl stared at her for a second. ‘And what about Maggie? Doesn’t she have a say in the place?’
‘Of course she does. Mum loves the land just as much as the rest of us. Although she’s never been overly fond of the house.’
‘Oh, I know.’
‘She’s talked to you about this?’ Bec was surprised.
Pearl shrugged. ‘You know we’ve been friends since way before you were born. In fact, when I was a teenager, I used to be her babysitter – there, I bet you didn’t know that, did you?’
Bec shook her head and found it hard to imagine Pearl being young. ‘No, I didn’t know that.’
‘Well, it’s true. I also know that she loves your father more than he deserves but if she had her way she’d have an ultra-modern house with sleek furniture. Unfortunately she knew from the very beginning that being with Jack Duprey meant living in that old mausoleum of a house.’
‘Hey, I love that house – well, parts of it anyway.’
‘Which just proves that you are your father’s daughter,’ Pearl said with a laugh.
Bec grinned back. ‘I guess I am,’ she said as she started to walk away.
‘Where are you going, kiddo?’
‘To buy a tractor, of course.’
***
Maggie Duprey swung into a parking spot just outside the general store. She pulled on the handbrake and switched off the ignition.
‘What are we doing here?’ Jack asked.
‘I just wanted to grab a couple of things,’ she said with a smile.
Jack sighed and shook his head. ‘Maggs, we were just in Bendigo – I thought we’d already done the shopping.’
‘Oh, stop whingeing. I’m supporting our local businesses. Do you want to come in?’
He gave her a smile. ‘I’m not whingeing, but I reckon I’ve had enough outings for one day. I think I’ll just stay here.’
‘Suit yourself – I’ll be back in a tick,’ Maggie said before she headed into the bakery. Maggie was longer than she thought she’d be. There was a short wait in the bakery and then old Mrs Donnell had the chats. She spent a few minutes in small talk as she edged her way out of the shop, much to Tash’s amusement. Unfortunately Mrs Donnell didn’t take the hint and followed her outside, regaling Maggie with her grandson’s latest misadventure. As Maggie walked back to the car with Mrs Donnell by her side, she saw Mick Turner leaning in the passenger window talking to Jack.
‘Anyway, as I said, the offer is there. Just let me know when you decide,’ Turner said before he straightened up. ‘Oh, hello, Maggie, Mrs Donnell.’
Maggie glanced at Mrs Donnell and saw that her eyes were lit up with curiosity. Great, just great.
‘Well, Mrs Donnell, I’d better be going. Jack’s had a long day and he wants to get home,’ she said firmly.
Mrs Donnell took her hand. ‘Of course, dear, off you pop. It was lovely chatting to you.’ She let go of Maggie’s hand and bent down a little to wave at Jack. ‘It’s lovely to see you out and about, Jack.’
Jack gave her a nod and waved.
‘Hello, Mick,’ Maggie said as she opened the door.
Turner looked at her for a moment longer than necessary. ‘Hey, Maggs, it’s good to see you.’
Maggie waved a farewell, then slid into the car and turned to her husband. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Of course,’ he answered before he turned back to Turner. ‘See ya.’
Turner gave another wave as he stepped back and Maggie pulled out of the parking spot. She glanced in her rear-view mirror and saw that he was still standing in the road watching them drive off.
Jack started to laugh.
‘What the hell’s so funny?’
‘Mick Turner. He offered to buy Bluestone Ridge from me again. I swear he’s like a dog with a bone.’
‘And what did you tell him?’
‘That I’m not selling, but maybe I’d consider an offer at a later date.’
‘You’re bad.’
‘I know. And just to top it off, I realised something. Don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before.’
Maggie kept her eyes on the road as they drove out of town and towards Bluestone Ridge. ‘Oh yeah, what?’
‘He’s still in love with you.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake, Jack – don’t be ridiculous.’
‘It’s true, Maggs, I saw the way he looked at you. He had that same goofy look whenever you walked past him when we were in school.’
‘You’re imagining it.’
Jack shook his head and grinned. ‘No, I’m not.’
‘It’s nonsense. Besides, you know I’ve never looked at Mick Turner.’
‘I didn’t say you had. But trust me when I say that Turner doesn’t just want the farm.’
***
‘What the hell is this about?’ Jack Duprey said as he waved a sheet of paper in the air from the kitchen doorway. He manoeuvred his wheelchair until he was in front of Bec.
She bit back a sigh. It was time to face the music. This was the confrontation she knew she had to have; she just hoped she was strong enough to carry it through. ‘I assume that’s the receipt for the tractor I just bought.’
‘You bet your arse it is! When exactly were you going to tell me about this?’
‘Well, I guess I’m telling you now,’ Bec said as she stared her father down.
‘You went behind my back and hid the fact that—’
Bec didn’t let her father finish. ‘I didn’t hide anything. I put the receipt where you would see it. An opportunity to buy a good second-hand tractor came up and I took it.’
‘You still didn’t bother to tell me!’
‘It was a good deal and the tractor is in excellent condition. I took Pearl Lancaster with me when I went to see it. Pearl checked out the engine – and you know there isn’t anyone in town better with tractors than Pearl.’
‘You still blew fourteen thousand dollars,’ Jack bit back. ‘Wait a minute – you mean to tell me that Pearl knew about this?’
‘Yep.’
‘It’s a bloody conspiracy.’
‘Dad, that’s not true. I’ve been asking you to replace the small tractor for more than a year. Besides, I know we have the money there and it wasn’t like I did this on the spur of the moment.’
‘Really? Because it looks like a whim to me.’
Bec sucked in a breath as she squared her shoulders. ‘A whim would be me dropping a hundred bucks on a new dress. We needed a new tractor and we both know it. The old tractor has been on its last legs for ages and damn it, I need it to run this place.’
‘I get that you need it, but I said that we had to wait.’
‘But I can’t wait, not if you want me to run the farm effectively. Again, you know that.’
‘You just can’t go and spend money without getting the okay from me!’
‘I get it – Bluestone Ridge is yours.’ Bec sighed as she shook her head.
‘Yes, it is!’
‘And I have no say or any power here at all, do I? I’m nothing more than a bloody farmhand. This isn’t a family business because you won’t share any of the responsibility of running this place.’
‘Damn right. All decisions go through me.’
‘Yeah, I realise that. I thought with time you’d treat me not only as your daughter but also as someone who, like you, has Bluestone Ridge’s best interests at heart. This place means the world to me, but you know what, I just can’t live like this anymore.’
‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’
‘I’m either part of this place, in which case I’m entitled to a voice, or I’m out of here.’
Her father narrowed his eyes. ‘Is that a threat?’
‘Oh, take it any way you want, Dad. Either things change around here or I’m gone!’ Bec said as she walked past her father and out the back door, slamming it behind her.
***
Bec stomped over to the ute and slammed the door behind her as she slid into the driver’s seat. The loud bang reverberated around the cabin. She sat still for a moment and gripped the steering wheel as she tried to push down the rage that threatened to engulf her. Her father had always been difficult, but things were becoming just about unbearable.
Bec blew out a breath. She needed to get out of here – away from her father and Bluestone Ridge. She felt on edge, as if she were carrying a ball of tension right in the middle of her core. She turned on the car and drove off down the driveway. She didn’t have any idea where she was going, only that it was imperative that she leave. The sun had set and the blue light of evening was settling over the landscape but Bec was unable to appreciate the beauty of it.
The argument with her father replayed over again in her head as she turned right at the gate and took off down the bumpy dirt road. He’d had the gall to imply that the farm wasn’t her top priority. Was he blind? Didn’t he see that she spent each and every day doing her best for Bluestone Ridge? She lived and breathed it at the expense of everything else – everything – including her friends, Matt, and any sort of personal life. He couldn’t seem to see that she was willing to make that sacrifice to maintain the farm and keep it going for the next generation.
Bec winced as the last thought scuttled through her mind. Next generation – what a joke. When did she ever have time to go out, let alone begin an actual relationship with anyone, let alone raise a child? So why was she killing herself over a plot of land? What was she actually doing all this for?
Because Bec loved Bluestone Ridge, she always had. She loved the countryside, the scent of fresh rain through the eucalypts, the peace she felt as she wandered over the gentle undulating hills and the way the sun touched the line of gums on top of the ridge each morning. The land was in her blood – but was it worth giving up everything else, like companionship and a chance of having her own life? If she put every ounce of herself into the farm, what would be left?
Matt’s cottage came into view. She should keep going, she knew, because she was hardly fit for company. But as she neared the cottage she found herself tapping the brake and slowing down. She knew what she wanted – she wanted to feel, she wanted to be touched, to know that she was capable of more than just the daily grind of running the farm and coming up short in her father’s expectations. What she needed right that second was Matt. Not trying to fight the urge any longer, Bec pulled up at the front gate and switched off the engine. She moved quickly through the gate and along the short path to the front door. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought that she should stop and think about what she was about to do, but just as fast as the protest flared she dismissed it.
Bec took in a deep breath and rapped twice on the blue door. The time slowed as she stood there. Here was an opportunity to turn away and go back to the life she had always known. But if she did, there was a good chance she would be trapped in a solitary prison of her own making – forever. She fisted her hand and knocked again, and this time she heard Boxey’s challenging bark, and the sound of a chair scraping against the old wooden floor.
‘Just a sec – I’m coming!’
The door opened and he stood in front of her and ran his hand through his over-long hair.
‘Bec? I mean, hi – you haven’t been here long, have you? I was kind of lost in a scene,’ he said with a slight shrug.
Bec shook her head. ‘No, I just got here. Hope I’m not disturbing you.’
‘Nah, I could do with a break.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘Looks as if I’ve missed lunch. Hey, you want to come in for a coffee?’
Bec didn’t answer but walked past him into the lounge room.
‘Are you okay?’ Matt asked as he followed her.
She turned and gave him a tight smile. ‘No. Well, sort of. I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days, and things have just come to a head.’
‘What sort of things?’ Matt stepped closer and studied her face. ‘What’s happened?’
She felt the buzz of tension begin to build in the room. Honestly, it didn’t take much. All Matt had to do was look at her and she had the urge to get closer. At first she’d thought their kiss had been a mistake, but now it seemed like the possibility of something almost tangible. ‘All sorts of things – a wide and varied range,’ she said as she moved towards the fireplace.
‘Sounds like you’re hedging to me.’
‘I’ve just discovered how little I mean to my father. It seems I’m alright to use as a farmhand but incapable of making any decisions about how we run Bluestone Ridge.’
‘Your father said that?’
‘That was the basic gist of the conversation. Not only does he have the final word but I’m not permitted a voice at all.’
‘That’s harsh.’
‘I know. So I started thinking about what I really wanted. What I was giving up by staying on at the farm.’
‘And did you come up with anything?’
‘I think I did.’ She glanced over her shoulder back at him. ‘There’s something between us, Matt – you were right about that. I feel it too.’
He walked over until he was so close to her that all she had to do was reach out.
She looked up into his face. ‘So do you want to do something about that?’
‘Bec . . . you know I do. But you’re upset – you don’t want to do anything that you might regret later.’
‘I’m not asking you to marry me, Matt. There’s an itch we both want to scratch and it would be good to remember what sex is all about.’
‘So, you’ve forgotten, then?’ The corner of Matt’s mouth quirked up as he looked down at her.
‘Let’s just say it’s a fuzzy distant memory. What do you say? We’re both adults and not in the least romantic. I’m not expecting this to go anywhere – it doesn’t have to mean anything except a bit of mutual fun.’
He opened his mouth and closed it again. For a second she thought she’d caught a flash in his eyes – of what, she couldn’t be sure.
‘Is that what you want – just sex?’
‘It is for now – how about you?’
‘But . . .’
‘I’m just talking about some mutually beneficial pleasure – you know, comfort, gratification, skin against skin. You get where I’m going with this.’
‘I do.’
‘Good,’ she said as she smiled back at him.
‘If that’s what you want, Bec, I think I can accommodate you.’ His voice was soft as he turned his head away.
The mood in the room changed and Bec couldn’t work out how. Perhaps this wasn’t the brilliant idea she thought it was. She had been skittish and on edge and in need of blowing off steam. It was either have hot and heavy sex with Matt or go and scream her lungs out at the top of the ridge. She knew she hadn’t imagined the attraction between them, but Matt’s hesitation made her begin to second-guess herself. Could she have got it wrong somehow? All of a sudden she felt self-conscious and more than a bit stupid. God, how could she have been so far off base? ‘Hey, it was just an idea. If you don’t want—’
Without warning he turned back and caught her up in his arms. His warm mouth crushed against hers, and in an instant the coil of tension that had been sitting in her gut since the argument with her father tightened even more, but this time the reason was very different. Bec spiked her fingers through Matt’s silky hair as she kissed him back. A torrent of long-denied passion swelled within her as his strong hands skimmed over her body. The kiss was hot, almost carnal, and all Bec knew was that she wanted more. Anticipation hummed through her entire frame as she held Matt to her.
Together they kissed as they awkwardly half-staggered their way to the bedroom. Something inside her needed this man, and somehow, distracted as she was, Bec knew deep down that it wasn’t just physical. It was a disturbing thought and one she tried push quickly aside. She had meant what she’d said about this being just sex – and yet there was a tiny kernel of doubt that had the power to ruin everything. No, she wouldn’t go there. Feelings just complicated everything – hell, just look at what had happened last time she’d thought herself in love. It had been a spectacular disaster and Bec was determined never to be made a fool of again.
Matt kissed down the side of her neck, his warm breath tantalising her sensitive skin and sending any thoughts straight out of her head. They tumbled onto the bed and Bec wound her arms around Matt and kissed him. She was lost. Lost in how perfectly his body moulded to her and how his warmth permeated the layers of clothes that separated them.
There were no words – they weren’t needed.
Bec closed her eyes as each touch heightened the next. Her hands slipped under his shirt, warm against his taut skin. The demand in his kiss equalled her need. Haltingly, they broke apart but the necessity for contact brought them back together. Still touching, caressing, they managed to get their clothes in a growing pile on the bedroom floor. A sense of urgency began to burn in Bec. She wanted to feel him naked against her and in that moment she knew that she needed him more than she thought possible, as if her very survival was at stake. He threaded his fingers between hers as he leant over and brushed his lips against her mouth. As he pulled back and smiled at her, she noticed there was a softness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. With his other hand he brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
‘Bec . . . is this what you really want?’
‘More than anything.’
He nodded. ‘Me too.’ Then he began to kiss his way from the side of her neck all the way down to the valley between her breasts. Bec felt a mixture of anticipation and satisfaction flare through her.
His clever fingers trailed over her yearning body, inch by inch, teasing as they went. She arched against his hand, not wanting to lose the contact. Too long had she denied herself intimacy, she realised that now. Fear and embarrassment from a past mistake had frozen her in a half-life – shut off from the rest of the world and the pleasures that were there for the taking.
Matt sat up and Bec gave him a questioning look.
‘Um, I just had a thought. This could be doomed before it’s really begun.’
Bec propped herself up on her elbows. ‘What do you mean?’
He didn’t answer; instead he reached across the bed and yanked open the bedside table drawer. The contents of the drawer rattled as he rummaged around. With a widening smile, he withdrew a packet of condoms and held them triumphantly in the air.
‘We’re saved.’
‘Thank God for that,’ Bec said with a laugh. She’d been so wrapped up in the argument with her father that she hadn’t even thought about arriving prepared.
‘Actually, I think we have to thank my sister.’
‘Well, there’s a mood killer.’
Matt sniggered as he fell back on the bed. ‘Jules believes in being prepared for anything. She did a flying visit the other week and brought a carload of supplies. In her opinion I’m living in the middle of nowhere – isolated from both humanity and shopping malls. Anyway, she’s the reason there’re condoms in the drawer, olives and bocconcini in the fridge and extra toilet rolls in the loo. Oh, and let’s not forget the six-month supply of pasta, the dozen boxes of paracetamol and the three torches in varying sizes. Like I said, she believes I’m in the wilderness.’
‘In that case, you’d better say thank you to her,’ Bec said as she reached up and ran her hand over his shoulder.
‘I’ll be sure to do that . . . but later, much, much later,’ he said as he pulled her back into his arms. ‘Now, remind me – where exactly was I?’