OUR INNER MOVIE STAR IS READY TO MAKE HER DEBUT. She has her closet of flattering outfits that suit her day-to-day lifestyle, with shoes and accessories to match. She has a great haircut, style, and color that match not only her facial features but her personality as well. Her powder room has a set of brushes, boxes, and jars ready to create a flawless beauty look. Her home décor is impeccable, and she can throw one hell of a party.
But more important, she has poise. She has confidence. She treats people with kindness and gratitude, never rudely or selfishly. She is a gracious guest, a generous host, and a polished colleague. She looks beautiful, put together, truly alive—and makes an effortlessly elegant, sophisticated impression.
As you’ve learned in this book, becoming your red-carpet-ready self is not achievable without some effort. But if you’ve incorporated my advice into your everyday life, you have also learned that exemplifying movie-star style is worth it. Being able to feel glamorous and luxurious—at any price point—is priceless. That’s why I love fashion: It’s not only fun and beautiful and luxurious, it has a truly transformative power for every single person who wants to experience it.
To supplement your hard work and your transformation from just someone to starlet, I’m going to share my tips on how to tweak your style as you age. No matter how old you are, you can look like a movie star. If you doubt me, take a look at Helen Mirren, Diane Keaton, or Maggie Smith. But as you grow older, you do need to learn a few tricks of the trade.
First, presentation is all about perception. Don’t worry too much about “aging.” I’m nearing the big fifty (well, in five years, but I need that time to mentally prepare!), and I’m perfectly fine and happy with my age. I have been for a long time. I don’t even care about looking old.
That’s not to say I don’t care about aging, because I do. While I’m not dreading looking old, what scares the heck out of me is that I might end up feeling old, or worse yet, looking tired and fat. Everyone is going to look old eventually—but it’s important to keep in mind that it’s a choice whether or not to take care of ourselves as we age. It’s never chic to feel old or look fat and tired—no matter how old you are. If I get more wrinkles on my face or begin going gray, that’s totally fine! I mean, have you seen the other George? Clooney, that is. Being a silver fox can be sexy and chic.
But ultimately, having a few lines on your face or gray hairs is not a big deal at all. It’s natural to age, and it’s chic to look your age. However, it’s not OK to give up on glamorous just because you hit some weird age benchmark that exists in your mind.
A few years ago, I was in the running to be on a show that helped women look their age, and I was chomping at the bit because I love helping women look their best, whether they are fifty or twenty. Unfortunately, I didn’t get that job. Boo. But fortunately for you, I still have a brain full of untapped advice on aging gracefully to share. They were fools not to give me that job, because I can make the average middle-aged man or woman look ten years younger in my sleep!
Whether you’re thirty or eighty, you can look vibrant, youthful, and alive. Note that I say “youthful,” not young. There’s a big difference, and that’s what most people get wrong when trying to look younger. Though you can make yourself look younger at any age, many of us try to shave off too many years.
If you want to do it right, you essentially follow the same rules as before, just slightly amended for your age. For instance, it’s key to keep flaunting your positives and minimizing your negatives. If you have great legs or sculpted arms, it’s OK to show them off—at forty, fifty, or even sixty—so long as you cover the rest up. Give yourself a reality check every few years to make sure the positives are still the positives. Streamlining and simplifying your wardrobe as you age is smart, especially because you’ll be shopping for and wearing more timeless, classic pieces instead of trendy fashions. The older we get, the wiser we are about choosing exactly what works for our bodies. We’ve tried a million trends, every style imaginable—and so we will know which might work and which never do.
The best way for an older woman to stay youthful and be up on trends is through accessories. While you may not be able to wear the clothes you see on the young starlets, you can still go out and buy that cool new shoe or handbag that’s featured in fashion magazines, or don whatever fun jewelry trend is happening on the red carpet.
Another brilliant and incredibly subtle way to have fun with fashion is through nail art. You may think this sounds crazy, but my lovely cohost Joan Rivers always has fun, super-creative, and amazing nails. Whatever the kids are wearing, she’s wearing on her hands. While Joan, and so many women even younger than her, may not be able to wear the same clothes as the new “It girl,” she can incorporate the spirit and the fashion into her overall look. Joan is a woman who has never given up on taking care of her appearance or lost her zeal for life—making her a true star in my eyes!
Another way to maintain a flawless look is to make sure your makeup suits your skin, which changes as you age. Skin becomes less hydrated, meaning that the products you use—and how you apply them—should change with it. For example, crème foundations work better than powders on older women. In fact, any nonhydrating product will make skin look older than it is, by overemphasizing fine lines and wrinkles. In my opinion, less is more with makeup at any age, though you should never forget the transformative power of well-applied cosmetics. Your best weapon for keeping your skin healthy and young is proper cleansing, moisturizer use, and staying out of the sun (or wear sunblock if rays are unavoidable).
There are numerous stars who show us how to age gracefully. Women who look amazing at every age include of course, Helen, Maggie, Diane Keaton (who basically has been wearing the same wardrobe since Annie Hall), Sharon Stone, Raquel Welch (once a bombshell, always a bombshell!), Goldie Hawn (this woman looks happy in every single photo!), Halle Berry, Ann-Margret, Julianne Moore (seriously, she’s fifty-plus?!?), Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep (so damn talented, who cares what she looks like!), Cate Blanchett, Geena Davis, Sigourney Weaver, Glenn Close, Susan Sarandon, and Michelle Pfeiffer.
The Flip
HE TRUE KEY TO AGING GRACEFULLY is to look younger. Recently, I cleaned out a closet for a client in her early forties, and I was puzzled to find all these shapeless Nancy Reagan–type suits and separates. It made no sense to me why she would have these drab, outdated pieces in her wardrobe—until she told me that she wore them in her twenties and early thirties to look older. That’s when I discovered the Flip. The Flip happens for most women at thirty-five. If you’re younger than thirty-five, you are (mostly) trying to look older: more polished, more professional, more experienced, more sophisticated. But after thirty-five, the emphasis is to look younger. The mistake most women make, at that point and as they age, is trying to look twenty again (or God forbid, even younger). That’s simply unrealistic, and it leads to dressing inappropriately.
At most, you should try to look five years younger than your current age. (Or five years older, if you happen to be under thirty!) If you are really lucky and have great skin (or have had good plastic surgery), you might be able to get away with shaving seven to ten years off. The key to the Flip is to remember: Before forty-five, go for five. If you’re between thirty and forty-five, looking five years younger is achievable and reasonable. But after you reach forty-five, it’s easier to shave more years off, though it’s still safest to aim for five to six years younger. If you’re forty, aim for thirty-three. If you’re fifty, try to look forty to forty-five. At seventy, though, feel free to go for sixty. Beyond that, simply keeping up appearances will make you look good—and easily a decade or more younger than you are.
For my client, wearing those Nancy Reagan suits in her twenties worked to make her look more mature at society events. But if she wore those same pieces now, when she’s in her early forties, she would look like she was modeling for the cover of. When I overhauled her closet, I ended up adding more tailored, sexy pieces because she still had a rockin’ bod (why not flaunt it while you still can?), and tailored pieces would make her look more youthful. (Remember: When trying to look younger, aim for youthful, not for young. The saddest thing is a fifty-year-old woman trying to look twenty-five.)
Now that you share the secret of the Flip, use that knowledge wisely. It will not only help you avoid looking dated and old, but changing your wardrobe slightly as you age also helps you avoid falling into a style rut. Plus, it’s an excuse to go shopping every year on your birthday!
The other key to aging gracefully is not about fashion. It’s about having fun. Remember the Golden Girls? Those broads had more fun than most of my friends do! I actually hang out with the septuagenarian crowd sometimes, because we have fun together! Most of the time, I completely forget about our age difference, because every one of my older friends keeps up on current events and pop culture. Sometimes, I’ll get curious and ask what it feels like to be seventy. Funny thing is, my friends say it feels the same as forty! And in their minds, that’s not a bad thing. And remember, a simple smile is the cheapest face lift!
My older friends are inspiring because they show how fashion and music can be a real fountain of youth. I’m not saying you should buy your grandma One Direction tickets, but keeping up with pop culture does tend to keep you up to date with society at large. At any age, if you’re not current on pop culture, then you’re not current in general. Talking about “the good old days” makes you seem old, whether the “days” were in 1950 or 1990. It’s much, much more stylish to live in the present!
That doesn’t mean you have to give up anything that isn’t current. Many stars love vintage movies and older bands, like I do, while still being current. While a movie star wouldn’t necessarily say that she thinks all music today is trash and that she loves the Beatles, she would say that she adores the Beatles and enjoys Rihanna. In terms of pop culture, balancing the vintage with today not only makes you great to have a conversation with at a party but can also help make you a well-rounded, sophisticated person.
No matter how much new music I listen to or how many pop culture trends I observe, in the end, I know I will get old. And though I may someday look old, I promised myself a long time ago never to give up putting time and effort into my daily presentation.
I recently had lunch with my friend’s mother, who is seventy-four. She was wearing gold shimmery eye shadow, a light berry lip color, and mascara—along with a great outfit—and she looked effortlessly glamorous. I bet she’s put the same amount of effort into her appearance at every age throughout her life: at twenty, at thirty, at forty, at fifty, today. She has never stopped taking the time and making the effort to look good and feel confident before leaving her house—and I hope that this book has inspired you to take the same care and effort with yourself.
Now that you’ve captured the essence of movie-star style, there’s no reason to step out of the spotlight for the rest of your life. 