On the following Sunday, Caleb stood at the back of Mia’s church searching for her distinctive strawberry blonde curls. Chagrined when he couldn’t immediately spot her, he began to question his decision to bring Lily. He’d hoped to fuel the bond between her and Mia, but if she wasn’t even here...
A tug on his hand drew Caleb’s attention to Lily. She pointed to an empty pew three rows from the back. He nodded and followed her, smiling when the little girl lifted her pure clear voice to join in a hymn. He’d never known anyone who loved church as much as Lily. She’d only agreed to come with him to this one because she’d coaxed a promise of lunch from him.
Caleb’s heart lurched into a gallop when he finally spotted Mia, who had moved forward and now waited at the front while kids’ church was announced. Little ones from all over the congregation hurried toward her. Her lovely face glowed as she greeted each one with a bright smile. At Caleb’s prompt Lily rose and limped toward Mia, too.
Mia’s green eyes widened in surprise when she saw Lily. She held out a hand toward the child, then scanned the congregation until her gaze rested on Caleb. His pulse rate soared when her smile broadened. She turned her attention back to the children to shush them for the pastor’s prayer. Then Mia and the children left.
Feeling better about his decision to come here, Caleb paused a moment to consider her obvious ease with the children. There had been no trace of fear on her face when she urged them from the sanctuary, but then he recalled the other workers who’d accompanied her. So it was only on her own that she became fearful? Puzzled and confused, he turned his attention to the bulletin and grimaced at the sermon title.
“When forgiveness is impossible.”
Not again. Caleb consoled himself with the knowledge that at least here his father wasn’t sitting behind him, watching and waiting. He’d brought Lily and Mia together again, but now he wished Lily had asked him to accompany her so he could avoid hearing the sermon.
“There is no sin too deep that God’s forgiveness can’t reach.”
Caleb stiffened at the pastor’s assertion.
“I said no sin. That includes everything you can think of and more besides.” The short, bald-headed man chuckled. “God’s seen it all, every ugly, dirty, shameful thing humans can do. And still He says we must forgive.”
Caleb shifted uncomfortably, fuming that he’d chosen this Sunday to come to this church. Why hadn’t he gone to his own church, and come to see Mia later?
“But forgiveness of something that’s touched you personally isn’t easy.”
The words slammed into Caleb in spite of his intention to ignore that booming voice.
“When someone has wronged us, the hurt festers inside us. We grow less and less inclined to forgive.”
Each word felt like a dart piercing him, yet Caleb couldn’t shut them out.
When the pastor glanced over the congregation, Caleb felt as if his stare penetrated through the layers of bitterness and anger burning inside him and reached out to the kid inside him who still mourned his mother’s death.
“What I am saying,” the minister continued in a quieter tone, “is that we must get the spotlight off our poor miserable lives, let go of the unforgiving cancer that eats at us so we can become a healthy part of His family. That’s when we will finally be free.”
Was that how Mia seemed able to forgive her husband’s infidelity and cheating? Because she’d turned it over to God? Caleb longed to ignore the rest of the sermon, but the pastor’s words kept him nailed to his seat, forcing Caleb to think deeply.
He was jerked from his thoughts when everyone rose to sing a hymn. While the pastor pronounced a benediction and dismissed the congregation, Caleb’s brain churned with questions. How could God expect him to forgive the person who should have loved his wife, Caleb’s mother, till death did them part?
Several people shook his hand and welcomed him before he saw Mia and Lily heading toward him. Mia’s turquoise dress emphasized her lovely figure and glorious hair beautifully. Caleb smiled and pretended he wasn’t staring.
“Lily is a very apt pupil.” She brushed Lily’s cheek tenderly. “It was a pleasure having her in our class.”
“It was so fun, Uncle Caleb.” Lily’s dark blue eyes gleamed. “We went fishing just like Jesus’s disciples did, only we didn’t have real water.”
“Cool.” A pang stabbed through him to finally see she’d recaptured some of her joy. Lily was a lot like Mia; both of them found delight in the simplest things. “Did you catch anything?”
“Yes. And I ate it.” She giggled.
“Only some fish-shaped crackers.” Mia’s gaze met his, then dropped. She seemed suddenly uncomfortable. “Well, I’d better go clean up.”
“Can Mia come with us for lunch, Uncle Caleb? You promised you’d take me, remember?” Lily’s dark blue eyes beseeched him to agree.
Funny how much he wanted to have lunch with Mia. Not seeing her this week felt as if he’d gone without coffee. The fulfillment he usually found in his work had been missing, too.
“Would you like to join us for lunch, Mia?” Caleb asked, expecting her to decline.
“I’d love to, if you’re sure it’s not an imposition,” Mia said quietly. “I don’t want to interfere with your time together.”
“Me an’ Uncle Caleb have lots of times together,” Lily informed her. “He takes me for rides up in the hills sometimes.”
“Takes you for rides?” Mia’s curious gaze studied him.
“I ride in front of him, ’cause of my leg.” Lily glanced down, then shrugged. “Me an’ Uncle Caleb have a secret place where we go to watch the animals. We can see them, but they can’t see us. We take snacks to eat and special glasses to watch them and sometimes we leave food for the animals. But not people food,” she explained seriously.
“Of course not.” Mia’s glance drifted to him. “That’s awfully nice of Uncle Caleb.”
“Yeah. He’s really nice. Don’t you think?” Lily hugged his leg.
“I do,” Mia agreed.
“Can we help you clean up?” Caleb asked to deflect their praise. She refused, but he and Lily followed her to the kids’ center anyway. Some of the other workers had already straightened the room, so there wasn’t much left to do but wash the plastic glasses the kids had used. Mia washed and Caleb dried while Lily played with a puppet.
“It’s very kind of you to help.” Mia’s soft floral perfume reminded him of the Persian roses at Riverbend.
“How are things with you?” He found himself eager to catch up with her world.
“I got my driver’s license.” Her obvious delight in the accomplishment made him chuckle.
“Good for you. I guess the next step is to choose a vehicle. Or were you intending to use Harlan’s car?” Caleb wished he hadn’t asked when he saw her shudder.
“I’d prefer to sell that,” Mia said in a flat tone.
“Then, do it.” He frowned at her hesitation. “Why not?”
“I don’t know. It seems so wasteful. I mean, I already own it and it works fine according to the garage.” When her hand brushed his as she handed him the last glass, a tiny electric jolt speared through Caleb.
“So you sell someone a great car.” Where once he might have felt irritation at her indecision, he now realized that each step Mia was taking on her own was a totally new experience. So he patiently waited as she mulled it over.
“I’d have to buy a new car.” Mia drained and rinsed the sink. “Actually I’d like that, to have something all my own. But it’s difficult because I have no idea how to choose. All I know is I’d like a red one.” She winked at him. “Bright shiny red.”
“Red’s nice,” he agreed, keeping his face solemn as he enjoyed her pleasure.
“But an impractical reason to choose a car.” She frowned. “I’ve done lots of reading about vehicles, but now I’m more confused than before.”
“Maybe you should test drive some and see how comfortable you feel in each,” he said gently, sensing how overwhelmed she felt.
“Good idea,” she applauded. “You always make everything sound so simple, logical.”
“My dad Ben always says that if you can break your goal down into steps, you can take one step at a time and then it won’t seem so overpowering.” He hung up the tea towel on a nearby peg.
“A very sensible man, your dad.” Mia’s smile coaxed Caleb to agree.
Just then Lily walked over and folded her hand in his.
“What’s wrong?” He hunkered down so she could whisper in case she didn’t want Mia to hear. But Lily didn’t whisper.
“I’m so hungry my stomach is eating my back, Uncle Caleb.”
He shouted with laughter, knowing exactly where that saying came from. “You’re copying Grandpa Ben now, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” She tilted her dark head to one side. “But it’s true.”
“Then we’d better go eat something. Hamburgers?” She shook her head. “Hot dogs?” Same reaction. Caleb hid his smile. “Pizza, then.”
“Uncle Caleb, you promised we could have waffles.” Lily frowned.
“Yes, I did.” He tapped the end of her nose with his forefinger. “And I always keep my promises. Waffles it is. Okay, Mia?”
“Perfect.” Mia picked up her purse and a matching jacket. “I love waffles.”
“With strawberries?” Lily asked.
“Or blueberries,” Mia agreed. “And whipped cream and maybe some bacon.” She turned to Caleb. “I’ll pay for half.”
He almost laughed until he realized she was perfectly serious. So he simply said, “This is my treat, Mia. I promised Lily.”
“Okay. But next time it’s my turn.” She accepted Lily’s hand in hers and the three of them left the church, neither female aware of just how much Caleb wanted there to be a next time.
He drove to the restaurant, letting Lily chat with Mia while he noted every car dealership along the way. It would be an easy matter to stop after lunch to admire his favorite vehicle. Then they could “happen” to test-drive the vehicles in which Mia showed interest.
But Caleb’s subterfuge wasn’t necessary because after lunch Mia asked him if he’d mind taking her to look at a small SUV she’d admired online. While she spoke with the salesman he did a quick search on his phone. The vehicle was rated highly, had no known major defects and came in the bright Christmas red Mia yearned for.
“What do you think?” she asked him a few minutes later.
“I think you should test-drive it. If it doesn’t fit you, you don’t want it.” Caleb wanted Mia to experience choosing her own car based on her own feelings, hoping it would help her find confidence in her decisions.
When the salesman returned with the keys, he and Mia walked with Lily to the red car. Caleb had to hide his amusement at Mia’s worried look as she sat behind the wheel.
“You’re a licensed driver now,” he murmured in her ear through the open window. “You can handle whatever challenges you meet.”
Mia’s shoulders went back, she sat a little taller in the seat and her grip on the wheel loosened. After a moment she met his gaze.
“Thank you. I think you’re the nicest man I’ve ever met, Caleb Grant.” After tossing him a quick smile she started the car and drove away, leaving him staring after her.
The nicest man? Guilt rushed in. He was trying to get Mia to care for Lily so she’d take over as Lily’s benefactor. Was that being nice?
“What are we going to do now, Uncle Caleb?” Lily asked.
“We’re going to sit in my car and wait for Mia to come back.” He waited till she was settled, then climbed in beside her. “You like Mia, don’t you?”
“Uh-huh. She doesn’t cluck with her teeth when she looks at my leg,” Lily said.
Her words made Caleb do a double take.
“Do lots of people do that?” he asked curiously.
“Uh-huh. Then they look away and say, ‘Poor thing.’” She tilted her head and frowned at him. “Am I poor, Uncle Caleb?”
He shook his head immediately and reached over to hug her. “You’re not poor, Lily, because your heart is rich with love.”
“Oh.” She gave him a dubious look. “I don’t know e’zackly what that means.”
“It means I think you’re the best kid in the whole world,” he said, and brushed a kiss against the top of her head.
“I love you, too, Uncle Caleb.” Lily flung her arms around his neck and hugged him. “I wish you could ’dopt, me but Ms. Vermeer says you won’t,” she mumbled into his shirtfront. “How come?”
“Well, I can’t adopt you, Lily, because I wouldn’t be a good daddy. I don’t know how.” Caleb squeezed the words out around the lump in his throat. He wasn’t sure where this overwhelming need to protect Lily had come from. He only knew that he was her godfather, and her godmother, Lara, would have wanted, no, expected him to watch out for her niece.
“I could show you how to be a daddy, Uncle Caleb.” Lily’s earnest tone nearly undid him.
“I would like that more than anything, sweetheart. But it just can’t be.” He held her as a rush of sadness filled him. This was why he couldn’t forgive his father, because Joel had ruined Caleb’s ability to love and care for anyone.
“Is it ’cause you don’t have a house?” Lily wiggled free. “Grandma Marsha told Ms. Vermeer you’re gonna sell Auntie Lara’s ranch.”
“I have to, honey,” he admitted. “Because I don’t know how to love the animals like your aunt did.” I don’t know how to love anyone.
“Oh.” Lily sighed. “I’m like Auntie Lara’s animals. I don’t have a home, either.”
“I will find you a home, Lily,” he promised for what felt like the hundredth time. “But you have to be patient.”
“And I hafta pray. That’s what Mia told me.” Lily grinned at him. “She said I got to tell God what I want and wait for Him to answer.”
“That’s good advice.” Caleb’s heart pinched for this child’s sweet heart and for Mia’s gentle soul. Maybe if he tried harder he could make her see that she’d be a great mom for Lily.
“I sure hope my mom is happy. Do you think she is, Uncle Caleb?” Lily’s sad voice broke through his introspection.
Caleb gulped and searched for the right answer. But he couldn’t find one. All he could think of to say was “I’m sure she didn’t like leaving you alone, Lily. She loved you very much.”
“I know.” Lily sighed and laid her head back against her seat. A moment later one fat tear tumbled down her cheek. “Mia said my mom’s with God, but I wish she was with me.”
Caleb felt useless and helpless as Lily gave way to sobs. He cradled her in his arms, knowing it was only natural for the little girl to miss her mother, but still feeling he should be able to do something to ease her loss. Something more than sitting here, letting her cry.
Was it wrong to feel a surge of relief when Mia came driving back onto the lot?
Sensing something had happened between Caleb and Lily, Mia made an excuse to the salesman and hurried back to the pair in the car. Caleb drove her home without saying a word. Lily was also quiet.
“Will you come in for a few minutes?” she invited. “The house is a mess, but I can offer coffee and juice.”
“You’ve started the renovation already?” Caleb’s eyes widened. “I’d like to see it.”
“Come in, then.” She led them inside hesitantly, wondering if Caleb would approve of the changes she’d asked for. As she feared, his face was tight with disapproval when he finished surveying the main floor. “You don’t like it.”
“It’s going to look amazing, but, Mia, you can’t live here during this.” He waved a hand at the broken drywall, the half-removed walls and the debris scattered everywhere. “It’s a mess.”
“I’m managing,” she said defensively.
“But you shouldn’t have to manage. I should have thought of this earlier,” he said, his anger obvious. “I know. Why don’t you move into Riverbend and save yourself this aggravation?”
“I wish I could.” She dug out a glass for Lily and poured some juice into it. “Here are some cookies, too,” she offered, clearing a space at the table for the little girl. Then she started the coffeemaker. “There’s some problem with taking possession of Riverbend. Bella said there’s a lien on it for unpaid taxes.”
“Harlan didn’t pay them?” Caleb’s confused look mirrored her thoughts.
“Apparently not. I instructed Bella to do that so they’re now up-to-date,” Mia explained. “But the municipality is demanding what Bella feels is an excessive amount of interest. She’s trying to sort it out.”
“Well, she needs to hurry because clearly you can’t keep living here.” His glance held irritation. “Where do you work?”
“In the sunroom.”
“But there’s no heat! And it’s been below freezing the past couple of days.” Caleb’s lips pinched in a tight line. “I’m going to call Mayor Marsha and see if she can help.”
“Your mother?” Confused, Mia watched him pull out his phone. “What can she do? She’s mayor of Buffalo Gap, not the municipality.”
“She has some sway because Buffalo Gap helped the municipality out a few years ago. Maybe they’ll listen to her and expedite the situation.” He began speaking into his phone. Mia turned away and chatted with Lily, glimpsing her home through Caleb’s critical eyes.
It was a mess. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought them in here. But she’d been so proud of the changes in this shabby old house. Even in such disrepair it seemed full of promise.
“Okay, get your things together, Mia.” Caleb shoved his phone into his pocket, then held out his hand to accept the coffee she’d poured.
“What do you mean?” she asked in confusion.
“You’re leaving here. Mom texted Abby and she says there’s room at Family Ties. You can stay there until Bella can get you into Riverbend.” He finally noticed her shaking head and moderated his voice. “It’s safe there, Mia. You’ll have a quiet place to work and you can use the kitchen to cook whatever you need, or you can eat out.”
“But—” She gaped at him, unable to imagine walking away from this mess. “I can’t just leave my home!”
“Why not?” After a second survey of the room, Caleb shrugged. “You’ve already moved out most of the furniture. I’m sure the workers would find it much easier to do their jobs with you out of here, too. They wouldn’t have to worry about disturbing you or making a mess and you wouldn’t have to shiver in that fridge of a workroom. It’s the perfect solution.”
A warm area to work did sound good, Mia admitted privately. And time to think without constant hammering. Then, too, there was Buffalo Gap’s gorgeous landscape to consider. It would be her inspiration for a new project.
“But how will I get around?” she asked. “I doubt there are city buses in Buffalo Gap.”
“That is a problem.” Caleb thought for a moment. “Maybe you could drive Harlan’s car for a day or two, just till you’re settled. Then you could sell it and buy what you really want.”
Mia suppressed her shudder. She didn’t want to even sit in Harlan’s car, let alone drive it, but it was a solution she was loath to ignore. Besides, the thought of escaping this mess now excited her.
“What about the women at Family Ties? Will they mind me moving in?” she asked.
“I doubt they’ll even notice you’re there. Family Ties was once a hotel. It’s been renovated, but it’s still huge with lots of room. Abby told Mom they’re running at less than one-third full, so you’re more than welcome. You’ll love Abby.” Caleb looked supremely confident.
“How can you be sure?” Mia asked curiously.
“Because Abby is exactly like you. Big, generous heart trying to help every needy person who crosses her path.” His grin made him look younger. “You could be sisters.”
“But I’ve never even met her. I don’t like to just show up,” Mia protested. But Caleb had an answer for that, too.
“Call her.” He dialed a number, spoke to someone then held out the phone. “Go ahead. You’ll see that Abby Lebret has the same soft heart as you.”
Ten minutes later, reassured by Abby’s warm welcome, Mia sat in the driver’s seat of Harlan’s car, now packed full of her things, and followed Caleb to Buffalo Gap.
“Lord,” she prayed as she drove, “I trust You to direct my path so I’m moving temporarily to Family Ties. Please help me be a light for You. And please help me find a way to help Caleb. After all, he’s done a lot for me.” A little glow of warmth puddled inside her.
She really liked Caleb. Maybe too much?