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I woke up in a panic. The sun rose and when it settled it was baring down on my face. It was the first time I had seen the sun in days since I’ve been here. I moved away from my peaceful sleep on his magnificent chest. I gazed at him for the longest. I didn’t want to leave him. Could I come back to Ireland and live with him? I asked myself.
This was too stupid to entertain such an idea. Here I was the only black person in all of white Ireland and I couldn’t imagine living where I didn’t see a black face. And what would I do for a hair dresser?
What the hell is wrong with you? I asked myself. Is that all you can think about is where will you get your hair done? Here you are sleeping near the hottest man to ever make love to you and all you can think about is your hair. I’m having this conversation with my mind as I’m thinking about a future with Liam.
I make up my mind. All this is impossible and I shouldn’t think about this now. I need some distance away from his hot body and the feeling of him inside me. So I pushed Liam in the side and he turned and held me tight around my waist.
“You have to wake up and take me to the cottage where I’m staying. I don’t know where it is it’s a bread and breakfast inn,” I said looking at his messy hair which made him look incredible sexy. And that small beard made me want to fuck him again but I had to leave.
“Go back to sleep, he said, “It’s Saturday, and I want more of your chocolate body before you leave me. Now sleep.”
“I can’t sleep because I have to leave today and probably at this moment. Ashlee doesn’t know where I am and I have to pack.”
“You need to chill, baby. That’s one reason you should consider moving in with me,” he said. “But if you insist, the place you’re talking about is the Fitzgibbons cottage. They are just up the road.” He reluctantly stirred in the bed and then stepped on the hard wood floor and ambled in the direction of the bath room. Then he turned and raked his fingers through his hair.
“I have to take a shower and I’ll walk you there. Give me a few.” And he disappeared into the restroom and I heard the shower and I heard him sing, “I will always love you.”
I looked for the clock but there wasn’t any I could see. I rushed to get my phone from my purse and it was dead. Then I went to put on my panties. I frantically searched around the bed for my panties but I couldn’t find it. So I grabbed my jeans but they wouldn’t go past my hips. How had I gotten larger over night? I wondered.
“My pants won’t fit,” I shouted to Liam amongst the singing and the water.
Liam came out soaking wet with shampoo on his hair and strutted to the closet and threw me a pair of sweat pants. “See if this fit.” And he walked back into the shower. As I was combing my hair, thank god for my comb. If I lost it I would be a mess. After dressing and pulling my afro up on my head and looking at the large afro puff, I heard a door bell.
I picked up my purse and dropped it in the living room. It was my intentions to wait for Liam to get out of the shower. I didn’t want to lose a second because the way the sun was high in the sky it was noon already.
When I opened the door, Ashlee was standing in front of me looking all rested and I hadn’t taken a shower. I know I looked a mess. “Where have you been?” she said. “You looked like you had your brains fuck out last night.”
“How perceptive of you. And you look like you’re relaxed and had an orgasm last night.” She smiled at me with a mischievous closed hidden smile.
“Do you know we have to leave today and go to the city and we have to drop off this car?” She pointed to the piece of junk that would probably break down before we got to drop it off at the garage. And then we have to get a taxi to the airport. We don’t have any time left to spare. I packed your things and paid the old ladies and we have to go now,” she said tugging at my arm.
“I thought we had time. I haven’t said goodbye to Liam,” I said looking back as she pulled me through the door onto the street and closed the door behind her.
“If you fucked him you said enough good bye. That’s all these men want.”
“That’s not all Liam wants. He likes me. He even said he loves me and I love him too,” I said sounding more naive than ever.
She grabbed my arms. “They all say that. Look at me. I got fooled by Danny.” “If you don’t come now we’re going to miss our flight. We have one more place to go to and then the next day we’re home.”
Ashlee dragged me where the car stood parked, with me looking back, and wondering what Liam would think about me. I wondered what I thought about me. All I know is I felt so empty inside when I climbed into that little car. And Ashlee took off down the road. Before we made the turn out of the village, Liam was standing at the door naked.
He was shouting something and I didn’t hear him. His face was red with displeasure, pain, and confusion.
All I could do was smile but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. He looked so sad and I was sad too. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye and kiss him and tell him that I would be back to see him. And then I remembered I didn’t know his last name.
On our way to the airport I asked Ashlee, “When will you come back to Cork?”
“Not anytime soon. I got my fill of Danny and Francis last night. They weren’t what I thought they were. It took both of them to satisfy me.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did. I fucked them both because I wanted to get back at Danny for misleading me.”
“He didn’t mislead you, you misled yourself,” I said half pissed with her and the other half pissed with myself.
“I thought Danny loved me, but then I discovered he had a wife.”
“Yet you still paid all that money to fly here knowing he had a wife. You didn’t have to do that. You did that because you wanted to see him. So why do you blame him? It was you who acted like an ass.”
She looked over at me and almost ran into a ditch. “Watch the road,” I said holding on to the dashboard.
“You look like you’re caught up just like me. And you want to see him just like I did,” she said with a sneer. Her voice mocking me.
“Only because I never said goodbye.” I glanced around at the countryside and it was the first time I had appreciated the serene calm of this place. And now I would be back to New York with the chaos and the hectic uncertain time of my life. What to do after I graduate from college. It would be only one more semester. I couldn’t go on working at McDonalds.
“It wasn’t my fault that you didn’t say goodbye to him. Be glad you didn’t because the second time you see someone you thought you had a good time with, it’s not the same.”
“Speak for yourself,” I said sulking.
“Did I remember to take my birth control?” I asked Ashlee.
“Why are you asking me? Didn’t you say you weren’t planning on sleeping with any foreign men and you didn’t need birth control,” Ashlee reminded me. She stared at me and said, “Don’t worry. Nothing ever happens the first time you have sex with someone. It’s when it’s on a regular basis. The first time you’re so nervous it doesn’t take.”
I couldn’t believe the nonsense Ashlee spewed with a straight face. “You are an educated person. Where did you get your degree at one of those degree mills? What the fuck are you talking about? It’s a wonder you aren’t pregnant?”
“Well, I’m not the one who didn’t take my birth control,” she said poking fun at me.
“Don’t say another word,” I warned her. She wasn’t intimidated by me and she wanted to have her say and she did.
“That’s because I don’t make ridiculous statements about birth control, or promises about men I can’t keep,” she said. We didn’t talk anymore for the next few miles. I sat watching her and wanting to curse her at every turn of those small excuse for roads.
When we reached the garage where we had to turn in the car, we had a few hours to eat and take a tour of a church or castle. I didn’t remember which. I was all into myself worried about unprotected sex with a gorgeous man I wanted to spend my life with.
After doing the tour we headed for the airport. Still I didn’t want to talk to Ashlee. I decided that if I ever go on a tour again, it will be alone because if you take a friend with you, then you might end up disliking that person at the end of the trip.
It was fine for a week but then all hell broke loose on the final day. I admit it was as much my fault as Ashlee’s.
We took a cab to the airport. When I stepped out on the curb my heart ceased. Standing looking around was Liam. He had on a pair of old jeans, a black leather jacket with no shirt and shoes with no socks. I could have jumped him and went into a bathroom and fucked him if he asked me and if I didn’t have to leave.
Liam saw me and I stood frozen in one spot because I saw a young woman wave at him, and at that moment my heart sank, but then she climbed into a cab without him and left.
He was looking around frantically for me and then Ashlee said, “I’ll take your bag and check in. Spend your last moments with your guy.” She understood and why wouldn’t she. She had been in love with a man she thought she would never see again and so was I.
We ran to each other and he held me tight in his arms and whispered in my ear, “I will always love you, Tasha.” I wanted to believe him and I should. He didn’t have to come to the airport not knowing whether he would see me or not.
I pulled away. “I don’t know your name,” I said taking my last look into his green eyes.
“Liam O’Shea.”
“Like the bar.”
“I own that pub.”
“We never got around to your sir name and what you do?”
“Tasha James. I’m in my last year of college.”
“An educated woman.” I smiled and he kissed me. The warmth of his body and lips had my head in motion and then I heard Ashlee call out my name. We’re boarding, hurry.”
“What if I ask you to stay?” he said. My heart raced. What if I stayed and I wasn’t what he thought I was? It was better that I left him thinking I was the most beautiful girl he had ever met then to have him find out all my flaws. Or was it?
“I can’t,” I said to him. I have so much to do when I get to New York.” I moved in the line to board.
He yelled, “What part of New York?”
“Brooklyn and then I’m moving to Manhattan with Ashlee in six months.”
“I didn’t get your number, he said.” And someone told me to move along if I expected to board in time for take-off, and I disappeared around the corner. My heart broke because I didn’t have enough time. I was in love and I ran out of time.
I could only think that I would have to return to Ireland to find the man I love, but when would I have the time or the money? And would he wait for me?
With a sour look on my face I sat down next to Ashlee who appeared to be content. I wish I could make myself content but I felt miserable. “I know how you feel but you’ll get over him. I’m over Danny and it took this trip to do it,” Ashlee said to me as she buckled her seat belt.
“I don’t want to spend money to get over someone I know I never will. I’ll go the rest of my life wondering what if. What if I had stayed with Liam O’Shea? What if I had married him? What if I never find my true love again?
I closed my eyes and settled in for a long flight.
The End to Part 1
Part 2 and Part 3 coming soon! This is a 3 part serial.
Below is a list of my books and an excerpt from Bought and Sold. Enjoy!