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“Are you serious? You expect me to romp around the stage wearing only my pants like a common what’s the name of those guys that take off their clothes in Las Vegas for a bunch of howling sex starved females.”
“Chippendale dancers, Mr. Crossman. Now take off that shirt and hand it to me.” That’s Lisa my secretary. She is a better boss than me. Her voice is deep and commanding. She must have been a man in her other life. I raise one eyebrow to let her know just who is in charge.
“I want that shirt back,” I say to her. “I don’t want to walk around with my nipples hard.” I look down and place my hands across my chest. “Can’t you get someone to put some heat on?”
“They can’t do that just for you,” Lisa says glancing up at me, giving me one of those man up attitudes she’s famous for, when I’m tired and I can’t go any further.
“You got me into this shit,” I say to her. After dropping my cufflinks in her hand I pull off my unbutton shirt and I hand her it with a frown and raised eyebrow. Her eyes fall on my chest and they are on full beam glaring at me.
I have that effect on most women. But that’s when I take off my clothes in front of them. I didn’t plan on undressing in front of my secretary and have her gawking at me all day in my office. She has enough to do. There’s no way I would even consider having sex with her. She’s not my type.
Too blond, too skinny, and too much of a matron. Not enough meat on her to make the adventure worthwhile, I’m thinking as I give her a second look.
She straightens a piece of my hair that has falling out of place. Then she grabs a can of hair spray before I can protest and sprays it in my hair. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“You have to look polished.”
“I’m a man. Men don’t look polished unless they’re mommy’s boys. I’m a man that stays in the field with my men. I sit behind a desk once a month. That’s when I look polished as you would say.” I raked my fingers through my hair.
“I look good enough.”
“What would it look like for the most eligible rich bachelor in this town to not get a bid?” She asks me.
“It would look like all these phonies in this room can’t afford me.”
“You are missing the big picture. You are an industrialist who has to clean up his image. Your companies are polluting this country, poisoning the streams, chopping down the trees...”
“Enough! You’ve made your point. So you think if I’m standing half naked on the stage with a sea of women bidding for me that will change all that?”
“It might change your image. You look vulnerable. When you’re standing there defenseless with no shirt on, women will see you as human.” She steps back and smile, “I see you as almost human already.” She’s glancing at my chest and her eyes move in the direction of my crotch. I’m hard because of the cold room messing with my nipples.
“That, and because you are donating all the money you raise, and you are matching the funds to give to a charity hospital for children with cancer.” She looks at me with a tilted head.
“There are a few things that I neglected to tell you.” I narrow my eyes.
“Like having to take my shirt off.” We are walking behind the curtains and I have to get on stage with a few more men whom I recognize. I’m sure their wives convinced them to stand there half naked and let woman bid on them.
“That, and you have to work for whomever wins the bid.” I stand there and I turn to Lisa.
“There is no fucking way I’m going to do that.”
“You have to. They had you sign an agreement stating once you agree, you can’t back out.”
“I didn’t sign that.”
“Yes you did. Do you remember...?” And Lisa pushed me on to the stage. The curtains were closed. I looked around nodding to the six or seven guys who had gotten shamed into this display. I knew most of them. Then the curtains opened and the bidding began.
They gave us a number to hold in front of our chest. These guys had nerves enough to act as if they were enjoying this shit. I heard Lisa muffle her voice and say, “Smile.”
I tried to raise a smile, but all I could think of is, I’m standing here and my nipples are cold and hard.
When the first guy walked to the front, women were shouting and cat calling them like guys in college when they see a great looking woman pass by. The only thing different, now these were women from respectable families, with more money they didn’t know what to do with and they had us feeling like a piece of meat.
And this is how they wanted to spend their money, bidding on young men, and demeaning them. Can’t they go shopping or support the homeless. I glance to my right and one guy is enjoying the whole thing.
“This is fucking great man. I hope I get a high bid and a fuck out of this.” Richard Blain is the son of Robert Blain one of the riches bankers in Seattle. He’s twenty four if a day. I’m twenty eight. We inherited our money from our fathers and grandfathers. He doesn’t have to work he’s in banking, but I have to constantly stay on top of things with the fluctuation of oil and gas.
“What do you mean?”
“When a woman bids on you, she can make you do whatever she wants. If she ask you to mow her lawn or chauffer her around town, you have to do that. She has your ass for a week. But the best part, if she’s young and desirable, then you can make a connection and spend that week satisfying your needs and hers.”
Blain gives me a wink and the announcer calls him up front. He’s fit, great body, but the muscles doesn’t come natural like mine. That’s courtesy of a trainer and a gym. He’s never chopped down a tree like me. I came by my muscles naturally.
A ladies man, that’s Blain. He’s known for not discriminating with women. If a woman is young or old, Blain will be giving her a hard one tonight. He sold for two hundred thousand to a woman in her forties. She’s on the pretty side and appears younger than she really is. Blain is happy by that look on his face and that raised thumb.
So far that is the top bid for tonight. I don’t like to come in second or third. I want the gold.
I turn and mouth to Lisa hiding behind a curtain, “You’re fired.” She smiles as if she doesn’t hear me or she’s not taking me serious.
The end of the excerpt, “Bought and Sold.”
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