It had required all her nerve to voice it, but the words were out and not to be taken back.
Reid’s pupils flared, but he said nothing. Just reached for his wallet, threw a wad of bills on the table, and grabbed her by the arm.
Her body thrummed with anticipation as he guided her to his truck. She was breathless and slightly giddy, but had hardly even touched her mojito. Just the thought of being with him again did this to her.
He still didn’t speak until a few minutes later, when he pulled into a shopping mart with a twenty-four-hour pharmacy. “Just need to make one quick stop.”
Her gaze fixed on his ass, so perfectly defined in snug denim, as he walked into the drugstore. She wanted to feel it in her hands while he pumped into her. She chided herself for being so shallow, but Reid had always brought out her baser, animalistic side.
She waited impatiently, her pulse speeding as he walked out the door toward the truck. He couldn’t move fast enough for her. He laid a small plastic bag on the seat and then started the truck. Five minutes later, they were in the lodge parking lot.
“Got an extra room key?” he asked, his entire body tense. She could see it in the hard line of his mouth, in the stiffness of his movements.
“No. I’ve only got one, but I can get another.” Her hands were trembling as she fished inside her purse. “Here. Number two nineteen.” She handed him her card. “I’ll just tell them I left mine in the room.”
His hand came over hers, warm and firm as if meant to reassure, but the contact was like an electric jolt. “You okay?” He didn’t make a move beyond touching her hand.
She looked up into his eyes with a hard swallow. “No,” she murmured. “I’m not. But I will be.” Although she quivered with trepidation, it wasn’t enough to stop the train.
He gave a nod and released her hand, then unbuckled and came around to open her door. “You’d best go in alone. It’s a small community. People talk.”
Her legs felt like jelly as she walked to the front desk for a replacement key. She’d never been so aware of her body before. Her anticipation ratcheted up another notch with every step as she approached her room. Would he be there already or would he wait a while? She hadn’t thought to ask.
She held her breath as she slid the key into the slot and opened the door, releasing a long hiss of relief when she found the room empty. She closed the door and leaned against it. She wanted this, didn’t she?
Yes. She did.
She ached with physical need. She’d kept it caged far too long and was almost ready to climb out of her skin with want. But it scared the hell out of her. She didn’t just want him. She needed him.
But why was it only Reid who’d ever made her feel this way? Jeffrey had felt safe and comfortable, like a favorite pair of jeans. She’d never experience the same passion with Jeffrey that she’d known with Reid. He’d never remotely compared, though she’d tried very hard not to. Compare, that is.
The two men were nothing alike, either philosophically or physically. If they were trees, Jeffrey would be a birch and Reid would be an oak, an analogy that suited their anatomical differences equally well, she thought dryly. Although she’d tried to convince herself for the longest time that she loved Jeffrey, she knew better now. If she had, she would have long forgotten Reid. But she hadn’t. Would it be the same between them as it was before?
You’re thinking too much. Just relax and go with it. You’re a grown woman and have every right to enjoy yourself with a man. With Reid.
Should she undress? She hated to appear too eager. Then again, who was she kidding? Not Reid. He’d seen right through her, had read her every lurid thought in the bar.
With her heart racing, she kicked off her shoes but hesitated with her hands on the zipper of her skirt. Maybe he’d want to undress her? Then again, he’d probably be more than happy to get straight to the main event. Four-point-one-six years.
He’d done the math.
She nervously shed her skirt and blouse, but left her bra and panties on. She wished she’d worn something racier than sensible white cotton with just a bit of lace trim, but the plain packaging would have to do.
The door clicked. She inhaled a tiny gasp.
“You should use the dead bolt.”
“I was expecting you,” she said.
“I was afraid you might change your mind.”
“No, Reid. I haven’t changed my mind. No games, right?”
His hot gaze raked slowly up and down her body. He doffed his hat and tossed it on the chair. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, Haley Cooper.” His voice was low and husky, inciting tiny ripples deep inside her sex. He was in tight control, but his desire was palpable, like some powerful force that was about to unleash. He extended his hand.
She approached with an intentional slow and seductive sway of her hips, shivering again as their gazes met and held. Oh dear God. All the foreplay she needed was right there, reflected in his blue eyes.
* * *
She’d surprised him, meeting him in her bra and panties, but at least her actions stated clear intent. Thank God.
“Take it off. All of it.” Though his balls ached with anticipation, he didn’t trust himself to touch her. Not yet.
She bit her lip, looking suddenly shy. All the confidence she’d greeted him with a moment ago had evaporated. He pulled her close. Locking eyes with hers, he ran his index finger slowly down the valley between her breasts. The bra had a front hook. He managed it with one hand. She trembled as it dropped to the floor.
Her breasts weren’t overly full, but nicely shaped and pert as hell with pretty pink nipples standing at attention, reminding him of ripe raspberries. His mouth watered with the desire to suck them. But not yet.
His fingers tracked down the midline of her belly, over pale, smooth, satiny skin. He traced the band of her bikini panties, then hooked one side of them. Her eyes widened and breath audibly hitched as he peeled them down.
“Aren’t you at least going to kiss me first?”
“Yeah,” he replied with a dark laugh. “I’m going to kiss you, all right.” She gave another little gasp as his knees hit the floor. “I’m going to kiss and tongue you until you scream. I’m going to brand every inch of you with my mouth, Haley, so that this time you won’t forget.”
“I never forgot the last time,” she whispered.
The scent of her arousal washed over him in a dizzying wave, nearly knocking him on his ass. Holy shit! He’d never been so turned on. Grasping her hips with both hands, he made the first long, slow swipe with his tongue.
She cried out, her body quaking. She was so ready, so ripe, and he’d hardly begun.
Reid plunged his face into her mound with a moan, licking, sucking, and exploring every sweet and tangy inch of her with his hungry mouth. Her fingers clenched in his hair. He delved deeper with greedy sweeps of his tongue. She bucked her hips against his face with a whimper, urging him further into her sex. But he eased up instead, just enough to keep her on edge, sucking and swirling, teasing with flicks and darts until she rocked and moaned. He wanted to torture her with pleasure, crank her need until she couldn’t take anymore.
The moment she reached that brink, when her body signaled the onset of orgasm, tensing in his hands and under his mouth, he backed off again. “Don’t stop now. Please, Reid,” she sobbed. “Don’t. Stop.”
“No need to fret, sweetheart. I’m gonna give you what you want…what we both want.”
He rose and wiped her juices from his mouth with his own trembling hand before finally claiming her lips with a ravenous kiss. She met him eagerly, moaning as their tongues met and tangled, engaging in a frantic thrust and retreat. She hooked her leg over his hip, grinding herself against him with a needy sound.
Her hands moved feverishly over his chest, tearing at his shirt buttons. She moved south then, toward his crotch, fumbling for his zipper. “Please, Reid,” she pleaded. “I need you inside me. You don’t know how long it’s been.”
“I know damned well,” he growled. His need was almost blinding. He could hardly think beyond it, but he still held himself in tight check. He reminded himself how it had been before. Five years ago, he’d taken it slow and easy, treating her like a skittish colt, only to have her lay waste to him. He’d tried to win her heart, only to be left with a gaping hole in his—a hole that had never quite healed. He refused to let it play out like that again.
He clasped her wrists behind her and backed her toward the bed. He’d pleasure her with his mouth. He’d screw her senseless, but no way in hell was he gonna lose himself in her again.
“Turn around,” he commanded. “I want you from behind. I want to watch as I enter you. I want to see myself inside you.” He bent her across the bed, shoved a pillow under her belly, and then angled her hips. She raised her ass to him in readiness and looked over her shoulder with a needy sound that was almost his undoing. He shuddered with a rampant wave of raw lust and prayed he wouldn’t explode the second he penetrated her.
Too impatient even to remove his clothes, he quickly unzipped and peeled his jeans off his hips only far enough to release his throbbing dick. Fisting his length, he gloved himself in latex with his gaze locked the whole time on that sweet, beckoning ass. God, he loved the curve of it.
He shut his eyes on a hiss as he guided himself into her wetness. Circling and probing, he teased until she squirmed, rubbing herself along his length. His lungs burned with the effort of restraint, as he penetrated by slow, agonizing inches, stopping only when he was seated to the root. He exhaled in a long rush, his cock pulsing in time with his own pounding heart. He began to move, slowly and deliberately. His balls ached like hell, but he was determined not to lose it.
She rocked her hips into him with another needy cry.
“You want more?” he ground out through his teeth, still fighting the primal instinct to ram repeatedly into her.
“I love how you feel inside me, Reid. Please don’t hold back. Give me all of you.”
His restraint snapped. He withdrew and thrust. Hard. She met his thrust with a cry of pleasure. Squeezing her hips, he plunged in and out. Short jabs. Long stabs. Deeper. Faster. His mind locked. His vision blurred. His pulse roared as he pumped in a mad, manic frenzy.
* * *
This Reid wasn’t the warm and tender lover she remembered from so long ago, the one who’d first taught her pleasure. This version of him was more controlling and almost dangerous, and his carnal ravaging told her that the lessons were far from over. Filling and stretching her almost to capacity, he thrust with nearly brutal strokes. It was a feral, almost illicit coupling, but still not wrong. Sweet Jesus. Anything but wrong.
It felt so good. How his body fit hers.
The air surrounding them filled with their mingled moans, strangled gasps, and the sound of slapping flesh. Her world contracted and closed around her until nothing existed beyond the marrow-penetrating pleasure of his pistoning hips.
Her climax came hard and fast, ripping through her until she clawed the sheet and bit into the pillow to stifle her cry. His release was almost simultaneous, hitting the moment her core began squeezing him in orgasmic spasms. He muffled his own groan as he came, collapsing against her back with his sweat-coated chest, his panting breaths hot and humid on her neck. After a moment, he nipped her earlobe and withdrew.
Senseless and satiated, she rolled onto her back, watching him disappear into the bathroom. She shut her eyes on a satisfied sigh, wondering how long it would be before they could do it all over again.
* * *
Hours later, Haley shivered and grabbed for the covers, only to realize she’d never crawled beneath them. She opened her eyes to a darkened room. Had she really fallen asleep?
“Reid?” She sat up and called out to no answer.
Her gaze darted over the room. Had he left her without a word? Her stomach tightened as her mind raced over the past few hours. Although he’d defended her earlier, he’d said he wasn’t on her side. Had she been wrong to trust him? Was this whole night an act of revenge for the license suspension? Had he purposely set her up in order to destroy her reputation? Her credibility?
She clutched the sheet to her breasts as fear and shame hit her in a nauseating wave. She’d have to face them all tomorrow. Would they all know? Was he even now giving the outfitters a blow-by-blow account of how he’d done Dr. Haley Cooper? And how she’d begged him for more?
Dear God. A shower. She desperately needed a shower.
After that, she’d pack her stuff and drive back to Cheyenne. It was cowardly to slink away, but she refused to let him humiliate her in front of all her colleagues. She cursed him with angry tears streaming down her face, ferociously scrubbing her body, only to get soap in her eyes. She then cursed herself. How could she have been so naive? So stupid?
She shut off the water, grabbed a towel, and proceeded to rub her skin raw. Although cleaner, she didn’t feel any better. She raked a comb through her tangles and stared at the hair dryer, remembering their first weekend at Coronado Island and his silly obsession with her hair. She’d never known anyone like him, but he was so different now. Not just older but jaded, hardened, and cynical—so different from the man she’d knowingly hurt five years ago.
Her throat went raw, and her eyes burned all over again. She plugged in the dryer, but then froze at the sound of voices coming from the bedroom. The television? But she hadn’t turned it on.
Wrapping herself in a towel, Haley cracked the bathroom door and peeked out. Her heart leaped into her throat at the sight of Reid, sprawled full length on the bed, a pizza box on his lap and a beer in his hand. He was back. All her fears were unfounded. Hit by a tsunami of relief, she shut her eyes and slumped against the wall.
* * *
Reid glanced up to find Haley standing in the doorway with arms folded. “You left without a word,” she accused.
“You were sleeping, and I was starving.” He flashed a grin. “Strenuous activity tends to do that to a man. I got pizza. Want some?”
Her stomach answered with an unmistakable growl.
Her gaze flickered to the box. “What kind did you get?”
“This one’s everything meat.”
She curled her lip.
He pointed to a second box sitting on the table. “I got you the veggie special. I thought you might be hungry too when you finally woke up.”
“Thank you.” She softened. “That was very thoughtful.”
“There’s mineral water too, unless you’d like a beer.”
“Sounds great. I love beer with pizza.” She grabbed a slice from the second box, a bottle of Coors, and joined him on the bed, settling back against the stack of pillows. She still wore only the towel. Not that he minded. “What are you watching?” she asked.
“X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It’s part of a marathon.” He reached for the remote to turn it off.
“Don’t.” She stayed his hand. “I love X-Men.”
Reid did a double take. “You’re kidding.”
“Why so surprised?” She took a bite of pizza. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
“True enough. But I never would have figured you for a Marvel Comics fan.”
She grinned. “What’s not to love about mutants?”
He studied her for a long moment and shook his head. “Nope. I’m still not buying this, Haley.”
“Why? You think girls only watch Disney movies and read Harlequin romances?”
“That’s what my sisters did.”
“I’m not like your sisters.”
“That’s for sure. All right then,” he quizzed, “which is your favorite of the X-Men?”
“Mystique,” she blurted without a beat. “She has way better mutant powers than any of the rest. I always wanted to be her. She’s so cool.”
“She’s blue.”
“But she can turn into anyone. I always wanted to be able to do that.” She took another bite of pizza. “Shape-shifting kicks ass, Reid.”
“You think so? Who did you want to turn into?”
“When I was young? Anyone but me,” she replied softly.
He digested that tidbit.
She handed him her bottle. “Would you open this for me, please?”
He popped the top with a thumb and handed it back to her.
“I’ve never seen anyone do that before.”
He smirked. “My mutant power. It’s pretty lame.”
She covered her mouth on a laugh. “So who did you wanna be?”
“I wasn’t a big fan of X-Men.”
“No?” She sat back and squinted at him. “Wait! I know. You’re an Avenger, aren’t you? Captain America, right?” She giggled. “You are totally Captain America, Reid. I can so picture you in his costume too. You’d look incredibly hot in it.”
He gave a derisive snort. “Given a choice, I’d much rather be Cyclops so I could nail Emma Frost. For the record, you’d be smoking in her costume too. Gotta love all that white lingerie.”
It was all too easy to imagine. She leaned forward to adjust the pillows and her towel slipped, revealing a hint of dusky areola. His prick reacted instantly. His interest in the movie quickly waning, he reached once more for the remote.
She gripped his hand. “Wait just a sec. This is the good part. Wolverine’s about to make his big buck-naked escape. Do you think he used a stunt double? Or did Hugh Jackman really streak for the entire world?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Reid shrugged and clicked it off.
“A lot of them do that you know. Use body doubles. You happen to be a particularly fine specimen of Homo sapien. You should go to Hollywood, Reid. You could make a fortune as a booty double.”
He scowled at her. “You’ve been ogling my ass?”
“Well, yeah.” She grinned. “It’s an exceptionally nice one. Women like butts. A lot. Did you know that? Most females are attracted to men with blue eyes and firm, shapely buttocks. So that makes you two for two.”
“Do you make a habit of studying male anatomy?”
“No. But yours just happens to be very hard not to notice. Since we’re on the subject”—she pushed the empty pizza box onto the floor and peeled away her towel—“there’re parts of you that most definitely merit closer study.” She straddled him and wet her lips.
Every ounce of blood rushed to his groin.
She leaned forward until her nipples brushed his chest, then moved up his neck, licking, sucking, and then biting his earlobe, sending a dizzying jolt of sensation surging through him. She reached for his belt but struggled a bit with his zipper. He was already fully erect.
“Lift your hips, Reid.”
He complied with gritted teeth. He’d sworn he was going to stay in control, but he ached to be inside her mouth. He wanted it down to his marrow, but there was no way in hell he’d be able to keep it together once she wrapped her lips around him.
Shit, Everett! You are fucking screwed.
She jerked his jeans to his knees and then began working down his body with her mouth, kissing, licking, teasing, and seducing him with her lips and tongue.
He shut his eyes as his only defense, but that just seemed to magnify the sensations—her warm, wet tongue, her teeth on his nipples, his erection nestling in the valley between her breasts, her hands caressing his chest and thighs as she laved around his navel with her tongue. She moved lower until she was sprawled out over his thighs.
His anticipation ramped to a whole new level with the moist, hot caress of her breath over his prick. He shuddered at the first warm, wet rasp of her tongue that explored his balls while she wrapped her hand around him. She slid it slowly up and down his shaft as she kissed his head and then circled her hot tongue around his glans, probing the slit and then teasing the hell out of him with flicks and darts.
He groaned and squeezed his eyes even tighter. Don’t look, asshole. If she even glances up at you while sucking you off, you’re a fucking goner.
“Tell me what you like, Reid. I want this to be good for you.”
He made the fatal error of opening his eyes—straight into hers, all deep green and soft, shadowed behind the lock of pale blonde hair that had fallen in her face. He homed in on her lips, moist, swollen, and smiling shyly at him. The erotic vision squeezed all the air out of his lungs in a brutal gush. Good? He was already out of his fucking mind. He knew he’d last about five seconds once she started sucking. His heart slammed against his chest. He’d thought he could control this. Who was he kidding? He’d never stopped wanting her. And the more he got, the more he wanted. But he wanted more than animal sex.
“Come here.” He reached for her.
She drew back with a taunting grin. “Nope. Not yet. It’s your turn to suffer now. Turnabout is fair play, Reid.”
“This isn’t a contest,” he said.
“Is that a complaint?” she teased. “Are you offended at the thought of being used for hot sex?”
“Not at all.” His pulse raced, but he kept his tone passive. “As long as I’m calling the shots.” He cupped her head and dragged her back up his body. Flipping her onto her back, he caged her beneath him.
“What are you doing, Reid? What are you trying to prove?”
“Why are you with me?” he demanded.
“You know why,” she answered, panting beneath him.
“Is this only about sex for you?”
“If we’re both getting what we want, what’s wrong with that?”
“I don’t know why the hell you showed up here when you did, but I’m taking it as a sign.”
“A sign? What are you saying?”
“I knew what I wanted back then, and I haven’t changed my mind. This is more than just a fuck to me, Haley.”
Her brows pulled together in a scowl. “Do you think you own me just because we’ve slept together?”
“I don’t recall any sleeping. I don’t sleep. Haven’t in years.”
“You know what I meant,” she snapped.
“It’s real simple, Haley. I need to know if it is gonna be just you and me from here on out.”
“Don’t be such a caveman, Reid. It’s not a crime to want to enjoy sex without any attachments.”
“Not what I needed to hear.” He rose from the bed, snatched up his shirt, and jerked on his jeans.
“You’re leaving? Why? I don’t understand this. What do you want from me?”
“Same thing I wanted five years ago—for us to be together. If you don’t want it too, I’m not wasting any more time. Now I’m gonna ask you again. Why are you with me? What do you really want?” His gaze bored into hers, searching for the answer as his emotions made war inside him. He’d tried to deny it, but it was no good. He still had feelings for this perplexing woman. But he’d be damned if he’d let her tromp on his heart again.
She looked away. “I’m not ready for this kind of conversation, Reid. Why are you pushing me like this?”
“Because I’ve already sacrificed too much. I need to get on with my life. If you don’t want to be a part of that, we’re already done.” He flung his arms into his shirt and stomped into his boots. “I’ll pick you up in the morning. Introduce you around. You’ll have an easier time of it.”
“No need to trouble yourself on my behalf,” she said, choking back tears.
He stiffened against the sudden urge to go back to her, to take her into his arms. Instead, he reached for his hat. “It’s the least I could do to repay you for the fuck.”
* * *
Trying to tune out her own thoughts, Haley turned on the television. The original X-Men was playing now. She muted the sound and stared at the screen with burning eyes, seeing nothing. She still couldn’t believe he had walked out on her like that. How could he?
And why the hell had she taken up with him again? Was it gratitude because he’d helped her out of a fix? Or just sheer sexual frustration from months of abstinence? Maybe it was a combination of both, but if that was really all there was, why did she have this hollow ache in her chest? Once more, a night with him had turned her inside out.
She’d left California believing that a return to fieldwork was the answer, but she hadn’t counted on Reid. How could she stay here now knowing she’d continue to run into him? Sure, she could try to avoid him, but he was an area outfitter. It was inevitable that their paths would eventually cross again. Was this whole move to Wyoming a huge mistake?
Her instincts screamed to pack up and go back to California, where she could go to a restaurant and order edamame. Where she lectured for people who smiled back and wrote big checks. She wanted to return to the place where people understood her and didn’t challenge her; the place where she was comfortable. Where she belonged—the place where she’d become disillusioned…complacent…and bored.
Being honest with herself, she’d felt that way for a long time. No one ever challenged her because she only mixed with people who shared her beliefs. For five years she’d surrounded herself with all the “right” people who did all the “right” things. She lived in a closed circle of intellectuals, academics, and activists, people who outwardly espoused philanthropic and humanitarian concerns. They all talked a good game about saving the world, but so much of it was hollow posturing from hypocrites who gave “green” speeches while traveling in their Gulfstream jets.
She suddenly realized the problem. She didn’t really like them.
Although she didn’t agree with Reid’s convictions, she couldn’t help respecting him. She admired his courage and character. He had cared enough to risk his own life for a greater cause. They were still on opposite sides of almost everything, but at least he walked his talk. How many people really did that?
Confused and growing depressed, she clicked off the television. It was time for some desperately needed perspective from the one person she could always count on. Yolanda.
“Haley?” Her best friend picked up on the second ring. “Chica! It’s been so long. How are you?”
“I was hoping you’d still be up.”
“Yeah, I’m still up. Motherhood is a mixed blessing.”
“How is little Sergio?”
“Too much like his papi. They both keep me up all night. Is everything okay? It’s not like you to call so late at night.”
“No, Yo. Everything is not okay.”
“Tell me about it, chica.”
“I did something incredibly impulsive and impossibly stupid… I left my job and came out to Wyoming.”
“You’re in Wyoming?” Long pause. “But I thought your future was all set. And what about your professor?”
“Jeffrey’s still there.”
“I thought you and he were going to move in together.”
“I thought so too, but he didn’t take to the notion when I brought it up. I’m really confused now, Yo. I always thought he and I would end up together, but we’ve been slowly drifting apart. I finally acknowledged that it was going nowhere… I wanted a new start, so here I am.”
“In Wyoming.”
“Yes.” Haley paused, then blurted, “I ran into Reid.”
“Reid? The cowboy? Oh my God! Really? Is he out of the Marines now?”
“Yeah. He’s out and back home now.”
“It’s fate!” Yolanda declared. “It has to be.”
“That’s kind of what he said, but nothing has changed, Yo,” Haley insisted. “I mean, I’m still me, and he’s still…well…him.”
“But he still does it for you?” She could hear Yolanda’s smile.
“Yeah.” Haley gave a dry laugh. “He does it all right. Maybe even more than ever.”
“Then it is a second chance, Haley. If you think you want him and he still wants you, you have to stick it out and make it work this time.”
Haley sighed. “That’s what I was afraid you’d say.”
“That’s because I’m smart, chica.” She paused. “You don’t sound very happy about all this.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve already screwed it up, maybe beyond redemption. He went all possessive on me, and I panicked. You know I don’t go for that. I lashed out, and he walked out. I think I might have burned the bridge this time.”
“I doubt that,” Yolanda said. “He was really into you, you know. I mean how many guys would have stuck around after the incident on the Ferris wheel?”
Haley groaned. “Did you have to bring that up? It was only the worst moment of my life.”
“Just helping you to put it all in perspective, chica. It’s time to ask yourself what you really want from life. You’ve put your heart and soul into your work for too long. I know you love animals, but they can’t love you back, not the way you need.”
“But I’m scared, Yo. He confuses me…”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know how to describe it. He’s just so much.” She couldn’t begin to understand, let alone articulate her feelings for him.
Yolanda chuckled. “That sounds like a good thing.”
Haley gave a huff of exasperation. “I didn’t mean it that way…not that he’s deficient in that department. What I mean is that he’s so intense. He makes me feel too much.”
“You’re afraid of that? Of falling in love?”
“Well, yes. Of course I am. Weren’t you?”
“No. Not really. I fell in love all the time. It just never lasted. But you and I are very different that way. You won’t let yourself love. Why are you so scared to let go?”
“I don’t know. I just can’t… Maybe I’m afraid I won’t be loved back. It terrifies me to take that kind of leap without knowing.”
“But we can never know. You just have to have faith. You’ve always confronted your fears before, Haley. Reid is the only thing you ever ran away from. Maybe it’s time you dealt with that. Putting all differences aside, do you think you could love him?”
“I don’t know. What’s between Reid and me is nothing like my relationship with Jeffrey.”
“Did Jeffrey really balance you, Haley? Sometimes we get so lost in what we ‘think’ we want that we don’t recognize what we actually need. I speak from experience.”
“Do you still miss him?” Haley asked.
“Yeah, I do, but Rafi wasn’t the right one. I thought I wanted my bad boy marine, but he loved the Corps too much. I could never compete with that. I always felt like second place.”
“Any regrets?”
“No. It was great while it lasted, but now I have the real thing in my sweet, loving pastry chef. Sergio is what I really needed. Maybe Reid was the one for you all along. So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet. It all happened so fast between us. I need time to think. It feels like my brain stops functioning the minute he and I are even in the same room together. I’m done speaking at the convention. Tomorrow they have some big awards dinner for the outfitters, but I have zero interest in that. He was supposed to introduce me to some people, but I don’t know if I can face him yet. Maybe I’ll just check out early.”
“Consider it very carefully, Haley.”
“I will, Yo. I promise.”
“Good. I truly want you to be happy.”
“Thank you for always being there for me. I know I’ve been a sucky friend at times.”
“Only sometimes,” Yolanda laughed. “But you’re you, and I wouldn’t change that. Let me know how it turns out with Reid, okay?”
“I will. I’ll call again soon. Kiss the baby for me.”
Haley hung up feeling only marginally better.
She reminded herself that she’d made the right decision years ago to focus on her career, just as she’d promised herself, but that didn’t mean she’d never experienced any “what if” moments. They still came to her at random times, along with Gram’s warnings about putting her ambition before happiness. Although doubts about her decision had always lingered, she never allowed herself to dwell on them for very long. Until now.
Maybe Yolanda was partly to blame. It was hard to see her best friend married with a baby while Haley, at almost twenty-eight, had no real prospects of either.
Yolanda had voiced her own questions. Was it some kind of kismet that had brought Reid back into her life? If so, what did it mean? She’d broken up with Jeffrey because he didn’t want commitment, yet was terrified to take a chance on Reid, who did? She wasn’t ready to examine that too closely just yet. Not at all.
* * *
Reid beat himself up pretty good after leaving her last night. By the time he reached his room, he’d known she was right. He’d pushed her too hard, but he was used to being in control. For eight years, he’d taken the bull by the horns every damn day. Maybe she’d have come around if he hadn’t been so heavy-handed, but damn it all, Haley seemed to balk just for the sake of balking. Now he’d come back with his tail between his legs, ready to apologize.
He knocked on her door. She didn’t answer. He paced, and then knocked again, louder, drawing the attention of the housekeeper.
“She’s gone.”
“Huh?”
“The little blonde lady. She checked out early this morning.”
“Checked out? Are you sure?”
“Yeah. She had her bags.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She’d bolted. Where the hell had she gone?
He deserved the kick she’d given him in the teeth for being such a controlling ass, but he just couldn’t seem to help himself. All of his life he’d attained every goal he’d ever set his eye on. Every single one.
Except her.
Reid consoled himself that he finally held one advantage—time. Rather than his enemy, it was finally on his side. She was working here. Circumstances would eventually throw them together again. His gut told him to back off. The next move would have to be hers.