CHAPTER 26
DAPHNE
THE DOORBELL RANG just as Daphne finished organizing her diapers from smallest to largest in the nursery.
“Honey, can you get that?” Daphne called, but she didn’t hear Tippy answer, so she went to the door. Opening it, she was greeted by Ava, who walked right in without being invited. But Daphne only smiled.
“Hi, Butch,” Daphne said. She gave him a hug. “I’m looking forward to spending some time with Ava.”
“Oh, good. Very good. She is too. Been talking about it all day.”
Tippy rounded the corner, smoothing his shirt as he walked down the hallway.
“I’m glad you and Tippy can spend some time together outside work.”
For some reason Daphne thought Butch looked alarmed by that statement, but she didn’t dwell on it. It was obvious the man was having a hard time. Without Jenny, he probably didn’t know which way was up.
“Hey, Butch,” Tippy said and slapped him so hard on the back that Butch stumbled. “Oh, sorry. I’m just so excited to go eat hot wings.”
“Yeah, and watch that game you’ve been so excited about,” Butch said.
“So excited about,” Tippy said, his head bobbing up and down.
They both looked at Daphne and smiled.
“Well, don’t stay too long,” Daphne said. “I can’t stay up late anymore.” She looked at Butch. “My back’s been killing me. I’m getting no rest.”
Butch smiled. “Just wait until the baby gets here.”
“We’re doing the Baby Sleep Wave method. It’s where you sync your baby’s sleep waves to your own so she doesn’t wake up unless you do. It’s tried and true. Apparently it’s how the cavemen did it.”
Butch smirked. “How do they know that?”
Tippy stepped forward, actually between the two of them, and said, “She knows what she’s talking about. She’s done hours of research and also bought the podcasts and the book. Well, listen, we better get going. We’ll be home soon.”
“Thanks again for watching Ava,” Butch said, and they were out the door.
Daphne turned to Ava. “So it’s just us girls! How fun, huh?”
Ava was glancing around the room. “What’s with the pool noodles?”
“They’re not pool noodles. Well, they are. They’re pool noodles repurposed as corner protectors. It’s an inexpensive way to keep the baby safe. If she falls, she’ll be totally protected. Every corner is covered. Every ledge.” Daphne made a sweeping motion across the room.
“See this scar here?” Ava asked, pointing to her forehead. Daphne leaned in. “I fell when I was one and a half and split my forehead open.”
“Hitting a ledge?” Daphne asked with a small smile.
“Nope. Just the carpet. Came down so hard it ripped ’er right open.”
Daphne’s heart skipped a beat. She glanced down at the carpet. “Was it Berber?”
“No idea.”
Was her carpet plush enough? She hadn’t even thought of that.
Ava had her hands clasped behind her back. “So you’re having a girl?”
“Well,” Daphne said, guiding her into the kitchen, “we won’t know for sure until she’s born. Tippy really wanted to be surprised. But . . .” She lowered her voice even though Tippy was nowhere in the house. “Just between us, there is a 98 percent chance she’s a girl.”
“How do you know that?”
“There’s a complex calculation you can do concerning body temperature, the moon cycles, and your consumption of soy the week the baby is conceived. According to Pinterest, it’s extremely accurate.”
“Oh, cool.”
“So what would you like for dinner? I can stir-fry some organic bok choy with grass-fed beef.”
“Oh. That sounds awful. I don’t want that.”
Daphne gently put her hands on the counter. “I don’t want that, please, is what I believe you were trying to say.”
Ava’s eyes widened. “I don’t have a mommy to teach me manners.”
Daphne’s hand moved over her mouth and her throat swelled with regret. “Oh, Ava, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to . . . I’m just an advocate for manners in young people and I . . . I’m so sorry.”
Ava looked down and shook her head. When she looked up, her cheeks were wet. “No, Daphne, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“It’s kind of mean of me.”
“It wasn’t mean. It was just bad manners not to say ‘please’ or ‘no thank you.’”
“No . . . it was mean of me to say I don’t have a mommy. I say that a lot when I’m in trouble at school because it gets me out of things. I shouldn’t do that, I know. Sometimes I do it to make my mommy mad because I know she wouldn’t approve, but she’s not here to tell me that and so I do it just to make her wish she were here.”
Daphne reached for Ava’s hand. “Oh, honey, your mom wishes she were here. Don’t you know that?”
“People aren’t supposed to want to come back from heaven. She’s probably happy there.”
“Yes. I think so. But she wants to be with you too.” Daphne bit her lip. She was no theologian and was not sure she was answering it right.
Ava shrugged. “What’s bok choy?”
“Will you trust me to make you something fabulous?”
“I usually eat pizza.”
“So aren’t you ready for something a little different?”
“Is this like cooking-show different?”
Daphne nodded, hoping Ava wouldn’t ask for boxed mac and cheese instead.
“Okay. I’ll try it. But if I don’t like it, can I not eat it if I’m polite about not eating it?”
Daphne laughed. “Deal.” She began getting the ingredients out of the fridge.
“Are you scared to have a baby?” Ava asked.
“Why do you ask?”
“My mom said my dad had his first anxiety attack the day I was born.”
Daphne chuckled. “There’s nothing to fear if you’re prepared. I’ve done a lot of reading, taken a lot of classes. That’s the key to it all. If you’re prepared, you’ll know what to do when something happens. I even took an eight-week online course. I feel very assured that nothing is going to go wrong.” She tried to say it with confidence as she pulled her stir-fry pan out of the cabinet, took the knife out of the triple-locked drawer, and began thinly slicing the sirloin.
“So . . . how do you know that knife isn’t going to slip and cut your finger off?” Ava asked, resting her chin in her hand.
At that very moment, the knife did slip, but only because it was such a shocking question to come from such a little girl. “Well, because I know how to use a knife. I know where to put my fingers and how to hold it so I’m safe.”
Ava nodded. “You really do seem very safe. My dad’s not safe. You should see him walk across a room with scissors. It’ll make you shiver.”
Daphne tossed the beef in the oiled pan. “You’ll have to see the crib. No covers, no bumpers, nothing in there that can harm the baby. That’s just one of dozens of things Tippy and I have done to prepare.”
“Well,” Ava said, “you’re probably going to need to take those handles off the cabinets and drawers.”
“When I was two, I walked straight into one and tore the top of my ear off.” Ava lifted her hair. “See? Where that chunk is missing?”
Daphne peered at it. “Really? From a handle?”
“Yep. And also, I should tell you about the toilet.”
Daphne moved the meat and bok choy around in the pan. “I’m on top of that. We have locks on all the toilets.”
“When I was four, my mom came into the bathroom and I had the plunger stuck to my cheek.”
Daphne almost dropped her wooden spoon. “What? On your face?”
“Yeah. I thought it was funny. Obviously my mom freaked out.”
Daphne felt a little sick to her stomach.
“And listen, I have to tell you about something else, and it’s really disturbing. But you should know about it.” Ava leaned in and spoke very quietly. “I only heard about it from Carson in my class, who heard about it from Joey. And maybe I shouldn’t tell you because I don’t know if there’s anything you can do about it, really.”
Daphne braced herself against the counter, staring at Ava. “I should know. I have to know. There’s always something you can do. I have eighteen books to prove it.”
“Well, apparently head lice is more contagious than the flu. Those little suckers can jump from kid to kid at school, and before you know it, the whole class has them. Then your whole family gets them. It could probably wipe out a neighborhood in a week. Carson said there’s nothing you can do except boil everything in your house.”
Daphne felt the first stages of hyperventilation. She waved her hand like she understood and dumped the food onto a plate before the vegetables were tender. “Excuse me for a moment. I have to go check on something.” She swiped her phone from the counter.
“But the thing is,” Ava said, resting her chin on her hand again as she watched the steam rise from the plate, “you can do everything to protect someone. Everything in the world, you know? But then a truck runs a stop sign and they’re gone. My dad says there was nothing Mommy could’ve done. She never saw it coming. So sometimes things just happen that you can’t stop. Can I watch TV while I eat?”
Daphne nodded, clutched the phone, hurried to the bathroom, and locked herself inside.