“Ainsland! Ainsland!”
She opened her eyes and stifled the cry in her throat. Collum was sitting up in the bed, a grimace of pain on his face. His hands were on her shoulders, and she recalled the feel of Garreth’s arms around her in the dream.
“Ainsland,” Collum said gently. “Are you all right?”
Tears welled in her eyes. She threw herself down on the bed. Every time Collum went to touch her, she stiffened and cried harder.
“You must talk to me!” he insisted.
Ainsland curled into a tight ball and cried herself to sleep. Feeling useless and stupid, Collum lay awake, watching her. He was a healer, but there was nothing physically wrong with his wife. He wondered if he should send her home with his parents for a while. Perhaps the distance would see her recovered.
However, that was impossible. He needed her with him. He wanted her with him. He sensed that she wanted the same thing, but her fear was too overwhelming for her to realize this.
“Remember, you must give it time,” Richard reminded his son, as he and Vivien prepared to leave to return to their home. “Do what you feel is right and let her come to you.”
“You’ll send word if Garreth is caught?”
“Immediately.”
Collum stood next to Ainsland and Uwe at the door of the house, waving goodbye to his parents. A light snow was falling.
“I hope no one desires my services tonight,” he remarked as they went back into the house. “There will be a heavy snow.”
“Do you think Princess will be warm enough in her stall?” Ainsland asked worriedly.
“We can’t very well bring her into the house or the surgery,” Collum replied. “But, yes, I think she’ll be fine. The stall’s well-built, and there’s plenty of straw and blankets.”
“I can check on her before we go to sleep,” Uwe offered.
“Good lad,” Collum said enthusiastically. “Tomorrow, we may have to go to the village if we can make it through the drifts.”
Ainsland opened her mouth to protest then shut it and sat in a chair before the fire. Her back was to her husband.
“Matthias the baker has been unwell,” Collum said to her when Uwe had gone to check on the horse. “If I can, I should go to see him and soon. My leg is stronger and –”
“And Garreth might overtake you on the road and bash you or Uwe in the head. He might come here while you’re gone and break down the door and – and –”
“Ainsland, it’s been five months.”
“I know precisely how long it’s been!” she snapped. “How could I not know? If Garreth hadn’t come, then our son would have been born at the proper time by now. Maggie is my friend, but I envy her so much every time I see her. And when I’m at Elspeth’s and see all of her grandchildren, it makes me both happy and sad.”
“What about Jane? Is there something you envy her for?” he asked sourly.
“No, not Jane. Becky.”
“What about Becky?”
Ainsland stood and looked at her husband with such frustration in her expression that he doubted his memory.
“I told you.”
“Told me what? When?”
“Last night. I told you that Becky was to have a child by Mael.”
“You did not!” he scoffed. “I’d certainly not have forgotten if you had.”
“I did!” she cried. “It was when we went to bed.”
“Most likely I was half-asleep. You should know better than to tell me anything important when we’ve lain down for the night. I find that I fall asleep right away since Garreth beat me into a pile of bones and flesh!”
“Because of me,” she said softly.
“I didn’t say that it was because of you, Ainsland.”
“You didn’t have to!”
She stormed out of the house and towards the stall. Collum debated on whether or not he should follow then decided against it. Perhaps if she spent a moment with Uwe and Princess, she could regain control of her emotions.
As she approached the horse’s enclosure, Ainsland realized that Uwe was nowhere to be seen. She hesitated, cold and fearful in the falling snow. She was halfway between the house and the stall and could see no other living soul around. Her pulse quickened, but she forced herself to walk slowly towards the yard. She drew close to the building, seeing the light from the lantern but no apprentice.
“Mistress?”
She yelped in surprise and spun around. The boy was standing with the pitchfork in his hands near a corner of the stall.
“I was getting some fresh straw for Princess,” he said quickly. He put down the pitchfork and came closer to her. “You’re ill.”
She nodded, and he darted out of the stall to fetch Collum, who came to the stable with the boy as fast as he could manage. He discovered Ainsland sitting listless on the ground near the horse’s hooves. Without a word to her or to Uwe, he went forward, crouched down with a grunt of pain, and then awkwardly lifted his wife from the floor. He carried her back to the house and told Uwe to go to bed. The boy obeyed, taking Beastie with him and looking back over his shoulder at his master and Ainsland.
Collum lowered his wife onto the bed and shut the door before removing her clothing and retrieving her nightdress. As he approached her, he stared down at her – naked, beautiful, and numb.
He undressed, ignoring the pain in his leg as he knelt beside his wife. Ainsland lay unresponsive as he kissed her and tenderly caressed her. She made no move to stop him as he spread her legs and positioned himself between her thighs.
“Don’t fear,” he murmured as he lowered his mouth to her neck. “Remember the passion of it. Forget everything else. My soul, my body and my mind can’t bear to live without you.”
He slid his shaft inside, worrying all the while that he was hurting her. She gradually became moist and hot around him. He heard her soft moans, the familiar moans that he had come to love during those first days of their marriage.
“I want to scream,” she whispered, as his thrusts took on a new rhythm. “I’ll wake Uwe.”
“Uwe wakes for nothing,” Collum reminded her. He slipped both hands under her arms and around her shoulders, pulling her closer against him with each drive forward and soon felt the wonderful, almost forgotten, sensation of her quivering flesh tightening around him, pulling him deeper and deeper into her. He felt her hands on his hips as she attempted to bring him even further inside.
When she called out his name, Collum gave in and released in her. He clutched her to him in an embrace so snug that he was certain it would crush them both. He lay still in her arms for a short time afterward, but his leg throbbed with the effort of his labors.
“Ainsland,” he murmured. “I must move. My leg….”
She loosened her arms, allowing him to withdraw. He collapsed beside her and tried to ignore the burning protests of his arms, leg, and stomach muscles.
“I’m out of form,” he groaned. “That’s more activity than I’ve done since I was injured. My body will have to get used to those exertions again.”
“You carried me as well,” she reminded him. “Is there nothing I can do to ease the discomfort?”
He combed her hair with his fingers and said, “You can’t mend my insides. They’ll grow stronger and less bothersome as time passes.”
“I wish Garreth were dead,” she said suddenly and vehemently.
“So do I.”
Ainsland turned on her side to face him, resting the inside of one knee on Collum’s hip. He held himself still while she guided his member upward. Once he’d found purchase in the cushion of her passage, they lay motionless in each other’s arms. The only dance between them occurred in the dark, hot cocoon of flesh where Collum’s member swelled and flexed.
For the first time since she and Collum had lain together, Ainsland did not cry out with her pleasure. Instead, she focused on the sensation of the coming and the way Collum’s sex tensed as her muscles tugged at it with her climax. As she trembled with the last wave of pleasure, she whispered, “Come in me, Collum. I want to feel you fill me.”
She felt the wetness spread from where they were joined, and the joy of it brought yet another return of passion to her loins. This time, she gave in to the cries and the shuddering. Then she and her husband lay, spent and damp with perspiration, holding one another for the remainder of the night.